Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him

by Clair Delaney

  I clamber into the shower using the tiled wall to stop me swaying and sink my head under the spray. The tepid water soaks my hair and slowly brings me back to life, but I decide it’s still best to be careful, no sudden movements, and gently shampoo my hair.

  I hear the bathroom door open and see Carlos walk in and pick up my clothes from the floor; he is such an awesome friend, I seriously don’t deserve him.

  When I’m done, I wrap a towel around my hair and another around my body and attempt to clean my teeth. I decide to avoid my tongue, I will do anything not to be sick, and the way my stomach is feeling, one stroke of the brush will start me retching.

  When I open the bathroom door, Carlos hands me another glass of my veggie juice.

  “Thank you.” I take it off him and slowly sip it this time.

  “You want some more Nurofen?” He asks.

  I shake my head, the movement feeling much better than it did ten minutes ago.“I’m good, I’ll take some to work with me in-case I need them later.” I add.

  As I stand sipping my drink, I watch Carlos transferring my mobile, keys, and purse from last night’s bag into my work bag, along with a fresh packet of Nurofen.Looking up he sees me watching him, I can't help smiling at him.

  “What?” He chuckles.

  “How did I ever get such great friends like you and Rob?”

  Carlos cocks his head to the side.“What on earth do you mean sunshine?”

  I shrug; feeling slightly melancholy as is usual after a fun night out. George tells me its yin yang, for every high there has to be a low.Shit!

  I have George tonight! – Great therapy with a hangover, what an awesome combination!

  “Are you ok?” Carlos asks, slightly amused - Git!

  I punch him lightly on his muscular shoulder. “I have laid out your work clothes on your bed, hurry darling.” I look up at the clock, 8.15am. I’m normally in work by now, even though I don’t officially start until 9am.

  “On it,” I say slowly making my way up my tiny staircase with my glass of juice in hand.

  As I look at the clothes on my bed I am in awe, Carlos has worked wonders. I would never have thought to match my gun metal grey suit trousers with my black frilly gypsy top, which I only ever wear socially, and my black peep toe wedges, not too high, more for comfort.

  He knows I’m going to need it being hung-over, and I know once the outfit is on, it will totally rock.I quickly drop my towel, cream my skin from head to toe, spray myself with perfume and add deodorant under my arms.

  I’m trying to move quickly, but everything seems to be going in slow motion. I find some pants then hunt for a bra, finally dressing in the outfit Carlos chose. Slipping my feet into my wedges, I pick up my juice and head back down the stairs.

  “Stunning,” Carlos says grinning widely.

  “Thank you.” I blow him a kiss as I head for the bathroom. “I love it,” I add turning to beam at him - Seriously he should be my stylist!

  I quickly comb my hair and braid it into a bun. Then I finish the rest of my juice whilst applying my makeup. When I’m done, I come out the bathroom and look up at the clock, 8.35am that must officially be a record. I don’t think I’ve ever got ready so quickly.

  “If we leave now, we can get you some food inside you.” Carlos says steering me out of the living room towards the patio doors, he ushers me out and passes my handbag to me.

  It’s all going way too fast for me to keep up.

  “Rob says you didn’t eat much of your fajita’s last night, naughty Coral. It’s drinking rule number one.” He admonishes fishing my keys out of my bag and locking the door.

  “I know,” I grumble feeling guilty.

  As we quickly march down the concourse, my arm wrapped in his to steady me, I can't help but feel a little better. I definitely would have bailed today, told Joyce I had a stomach bug or something, and sat at home wallowing in my own self-pity...

  WE ARE STOOD INSIDE A LOVELY LITTLE CAFÉ called Munchies. We are only two doors away from Chester House, where I work, which is a small step away from Kemp Town and it’s only 8.45am. I have time to eat!

  I know I should be good, but I really feel like something naughty.

  “What can I get you love?” The lady behind the counter asks.

  “I’ll have the crispy bacon, poached egg and mushrooms on a toasted muffin – Carlos, you want something too?” I ask.

  Carlos rubs his taut stomach.“I really shouldn’t.” He says, staring up at the menu, Carlos shakes his head, undecided.

  He’s as bad as me, so I ask for three of the same.

  “Any drinks?” She adds.

  “Three Cappuccinos and we’re eating out, but can you bag two together and one on its own?” I add, handing the cash over to the woman.

  “Sure,” she answers pleasantly.

  “Some of us have to work.” I chuckle to Carlos who has been a kept man for the past five years.

  The woman eyes Carlos and bats her lashes at him, which makes us both laugh – Can't she tell he’s gay?

  We both take a seat at a free table and wait for our order.“For Rob too?” Carlos asks.

  “Of course.” I answer, feeling more and more human as the minutes go by. “Figure he’ll probably need it as much as I do.” Carlos smiles weakly at me.“Hey Carlos, I know I met Rob first and we hang out more than I do with you, but you know you can talk to me, right?”

  His face drops, his smile disappearing – Shit!

  “I...I just wanted you to know that, well, I love you both, and I’m here for you both. Anything you tell me stays with me.” I tell him.

  Carlos hangs his head and silently takes hold of my hand. “Thank you Coral, you don't know how much that means to me,” he says, his eyes glistening over. Shit!

  “Anytime,” I whisper.

  We smile awkwardly at each other, it’s obvious Carlos doesn’t want to talk to me about whatever it is that’s going on between them. The atmosphere suddenly feels very dense and heavy as we wait in silence for our food. Five minutes later, I am kissing Carlos on the cheek and handing him his take-out bag and Cappuccinos.

  “Thank you for this morning.” I say again, feeling utterly grateful.

  “Stop thanking me.” He leans down and kisses me on the cheek. “Get into work or you’ll be late,” he tells me sternly.

  “Yes sir,” I mimic a soldier’s salute then I hug him hard and kiss his cheek again. “Bye Carlos, thank you.” I half run to the front of the building before he can tell me off for thanking him again.

  As I reach the front door, I turn and give a quick wave to Carlos who I know is waiting to see if I am safely within the building.

  Honestly, sometimes you would think I am a helpless woman who needs constant protection the way those two act!

  As I pass Joe in reception, who is stuffing her face with a blueberry muffin, I wave a quick hello to her.“Is Joyce in yet?” I ask as I dash past, she shakes her head, her cheeks bulging as she frantically chews – Nice, very attractive!

  I don’t think there’s ever been a time when Joe isn’t eating something, and she’s so damn skinny, a tiny waif – Where the hell does she put it all?

  When I reach my desk, I look up at the clock on the wall. Its five to nine, I made it!

  I collapse into my seat, smiling gleefully as my legs do a little jig of their own; I can eat my muffin in peace! I drop my bag on the floor, pull the wrapping off my breakfast and instantly devour it.

  Carlos was right, I was starving!

  When I’m finished, I take the wrapping and place it in the take-out bag, then stuffing it into my handbag, I zip it closed. Then I go over to the big window opposite me, unlock it and push it open, grabbing the air freshener from my bottom draw I spray it a few times, there’s nothing worse than the smell of eggs wafting through an office hours later.

  “That has to be the fastest I have ever seen anyone devour a muffin.” A soft, husky voice says from behind me.

  I instantl
y freeze on the spot.

  I’ve stopped breathing, and my heart is slamming against my chest – Shit!

  I swallow hard, I know that voice…

  CHAPTER NINE

  I SLOWLY TURN WITH MY HEART IN MY MOUTH and gaze into the dreamy eyes of Mr Mogul. He is leaning up against the wall, playfully smiling at me with his hands in his pockets.

  Damn he looks good! – He’s dressed in a gun metal grey suit, white crisp shirt and a dark blue tie, he simply looks...irresistible.

  I look down at my own gun metal suit trousers, thinking how ironic!

  “I was hungry.” I whisper, feeling totally embarrassed that he has just seen me, and scuttle back behind the safety of my desk, checking my mouth for any stray bits of food as I do.

  Jeez I really did stuff it down. Where the hell was he, I didn’t see him when I walked in?

  “Me too,” he says. “Could have got me one,” he adds looking forlorn. Oh crap!

  My eyes widen in horror as I stare back at him, not looking after the boss is not good!

  “Um...I didn’t know you were’ – “Relax Coral I’m just teasing,” he says, interrupting me, a grin spreading across his face again. Damn those dimples!

  “I had to be in early today,” he explains. “Incidentally where did you get that muffin from?”

  “Um...Munchies, it’s just a couple of doors down.” I say, feeling bewildered.

  He nods and looks down the corridor, then turns back to me.“Care to show me?” What?

  “Um...” I can't just leave my desk and my work, what is this guy on?

  “Joyce won’t be in today.” He says, spookily answering my thoughts. He rubs his fingers across his forehead as though he is searching for the right words to say. “She was feeling a little...well...off.” He adds, frowning slightly.

  I instantly feel panicked. What’s wrong with Joyce? I have to call her!

  “I need to call her.” I state and pick up the phone, pressing the speed dial button for her mobile.

  “Coral, she’s spending the day with your mother, Gladys.” He softly says.

  I don't understand why his voice feels like it’s soothing me, but I instantly feel relieved, I know she’ll be ok with Gladys.

  “Oh.” Is all I can answer as I replace the handset. I still want to know why she’s not in though, I run it over in my mind; I guess I can ask him. “Has she sold?” I mumble looking down at my desk.

  “Yes.” He softly answers.

  I close my eyes and pull my hand to my throat that has automatically tightened. I hear Tristan’s rapid footsteps against the marble floor, then I feel his hand gently rest on my shoulder.

  My eyes dart open. Whoa!

  The feeling of him touching me is exquisite, sparks of electricity are shooting through me again, but it’s much, much stronger than when we shook hands. And I'm amazed I'm not freaking out, I don't like strangers touching me, especially men.

  “I’m sorry Coral. I know how much you care for Joyce, and how much you enjoy working with her. I’m going to try my very best to make this process as smooth as possible for you.” He says.

  But I can't concentrate with his hand touching me, so I turn in my chair to face him, his hand automatically drops down.

  I look up into his big, soft, chocolate brown eyes; they are oozing sincerity.

  “Thank you.” I croak knowing that he is trying, but wondering at the same time how much Joyce has actually told him about me.

  Tristan gazes down at me for a moment, then turns and walks over to the window, he pulls it shut and re-locks it.

  “Who will I be working for?” I ask as politely as I can. I have to know!

  Tristan turns and gazes at me again with that deep intense frown of his. “Me,” he simply states.

  My heart starts hammering against my chest. God damn it! I knew it, why?

  “Joyce told me your not practising law anymore.” I say matter-of-factly.

  “I’m not.” He answers. “But I always have a P.A in every office. I won’t always be here though, but that’s not a problem as I know how conscientious you are about your work.I’ll also be sending Susannah down to spend a week with you at some point during this month, she’s been working with me in London for six years. I think the two of you will get on well and she can run through a few things with you, how I like things done.”

  I rack my brains for who Susannah is, it’s ringing a bell but I can't...

  “You met her last night.” He says. He cocks his head to the side, gazing quizzically at me - Shit I did, I remember now!

  “Oh...yeah right...Susannah, tall, slim, blonde,” I blurt out, my brain to mouth filter evidently not working today. I glance up at him, feeling mortified I just said that out-loud.

  Tristan’s eyebrows raise and he smirks at me.“I suppose she is,” he says looking amused, which irritates me, but I can't help feeling dubious - I don't think Susannah likes me. I don't think we’ll get on at all.

  “What?” Tristan asks, reading my expression.

  I shake my head. I don't want to tell him that.

  “Coral, tell me.” He orders.

  “I just...I don't think she likes me,” I whisper. Shut up Coral!

  “Nonsense, she has no reason not to like you.” He tells me firmly, so I decide to drop it.

  “So when will the take-over happen?” I ask, wondering how long the process will take.

  “About a month,” he answers.

  “And I keep my job?” I clarify even though he’s just told me I’ll be his P.A, I feel a little panicky. What the hell does that involve anyway?

  “Yes Coral, you will keep your job.”

  I wish he’d stop saying my name like that; it keeps sending weird shivers down my spine.

  “But what if I’m really bad at it? I know how to be a legal secretary, not a P.A.”

  Tristan shrugs.“It’s pretty much the same thing Coral, and like I said, I’ll get Susannah to go through any programs you haven’t used before. She’ll be there to help train you if you need it, but I’m sure you won’t.” He says almost proudly.

  I frown at him, I’m not really sure I want leggy blonde anywhere near me. What if she’s secretly a bitch and sabotages me so I make mistakes, then I lose my job – Oh God!

  “Coral, what are you looking so concerned about?” Damn him, how is he reading me so easily?

  “I don’t like change Tristan, this is all....” I wave my hand in the air.

  “I know, a shock,” he says finishing my sentence for me. Picking up one of the office chairs, he places it in front of me and sits down.

  His scent wafts towards me, sending my senses into disarray, he smells divine – What is that?

  “I’m leaving tomorrow...” He stops talking and frowns; he briefly glances at me in an odd way, then quickly looks away. “My legal team will be dealing with the take-over, and I know Joyce will be back in tomorrow. You will have a whole month with her to process the change. I will be back towards the end of the month.” I nod silently trying to take it all in. “I don’t think I need to tell you this information is classified Coral, top secret,” he says tapping his nose.

  “Of course,” I answer. “So no-one else knows, not even the Solicitors?”

  Tristan smiles some sort of secret smile and shakes his head at me.“Just you Coral.”

  I relax a little knowing Joyce has at least given me the courtesy of telling me in advance. If I’d have found out when it was announced, I think I would have had a full scale meltdown.

  “Ok.” I say.

  His gaze holds mine, I want to look away but I’m finding it so hard to do. It’s as though he’s analysing me, trying to figure me out.

  “So...” Tristan says, standing and putting the chair back in its place. “Joyce said to tell you when you came in that you can take the day off, as she’s not in herself.”

  Are you fucking kidding me, I have just dragged my sorry, hung-over ass into work only to be told I can go home!

 
; I grit my teeth in annoyance and stare back at him. He walks back over to me smiling widely, I think he’s secretly laughing at me.

  “But I really am rather hungry, so...would you mind?” he asks holding his hand out to me.

  “You...you want me to take you to Munchies?” I clarify squeakily.

  “Yes please,” he smiles. I shrug not really knowing what to say, I don’t really want to go anywhere with him, but – “And I’d also like to ask you to come to a couple of house viewings with me today,” he adds.

  “H-house v-viewings...?” I stutter.

  Tristan nods once.“I always purchase a property close to where I work, I don’t like staying in hotels, even if I’m only there a few days, and you know this area very well. Joyce tells me you’ve lived here since you were five?” He adds innocently.

  All the colour drains out of my face.I don’t like thinking about back then. When I first came here, I felt so alone, and I had no idea if I could trust Gladys. I didn’t know if she was going to be nice to me, treat me well, or even if I was staying with her permanently, everything was so confusing.

  “Coral!” Tristan dashes over to me, twists my chair around and crouches down in front of me so we are face to face, his features etched with concern. “Are you ok? Would you like some water? Some fresh-air? Tell me what you need?” he asks frantically.

  Why the hell is he being so attentive and nice?

  I take a deep breath to steady my nerves then gaze into his warm eyes. “A brandy?” I choke, laughing nervously.

  “Some water.” He says ignoring my request and dashing away. Within seconds he’s back at my side, handing me a cold glass of water, I take a sip.

  He crouches down in front of me again. “Better?” he asks, I hand him the glass back.

  “Yeah...thanks,” I whisper turning my face away from him, trying to break the connection.

  “Good. So will you come with me? Help me choose a place?” He asks.

  I know I should say no, my head is screaming at me to keep this professional, to run as fast as possible out the door and pray I don’t have to work with him too much.