“It’s a pleasure to meet you Coral, I’ve heard so much about you,” he says in a slight South London twang.
I immediately tense up. What has Gladys told him?
“Although…I have to say,” he chuckles. “It would have been nicer to meet under different circumstances,” he adds laughing some more.
I look away, still too shocked to say anything.I have never, ever seen a man in this house.
“Drink darling?” Gladys asks.
“No thanks, I’m good.” I state a little bitterly.
Malcolm looks from me to Gladys who nods at him. “Well, I’ll leave you ladies to it,” he says, discreetly taking himself back inside.
I turn and stare at Gladys in shock.“Gladys, who the hell is that?” I hiss, keeping my voice low.
“He’s Malcolm...” she shrugs.
“Gladys!” I scold.
“He’s from the golf club,” she says artlessly.
“The golf club?” I repeat in shock.
“Yes.” She sniggers.Why is it that I’m feeling like the adult and Gladys is the child?
I sigh heavily. “So…you’re seeing this guy?” I ask.
Gladys nods once. “I’m sorry darling, I should have told you about him, but I didn’t want to until I really knew myself...” Gladys drifts off and stares and the potted plants with a dreamy look spread across her face.
“He’s important to you?” I repeat her words back to her.
“Yes sweetheart he really is. I never thought anything like this would happen to me, well not at my age anyway.” She says and I notice she’s holding her hands behind her back.
“What would happen to you?” I question cocking my head to the side, feeling my world fall away from under my feet.
“Well...he’s...Malcolm’s just proposed!” She squeals, shoving her left hand underneath my nose so I can see the huge diamond ring on her finger. Jesus age Christ, this guy must be minted!
“Oh my god!” I gasp, taking her hand and inspecting the ring.
“Don’t say anything yet darling, we want to announce it after Lily’s party and have a little get together to celebrate.”
I look up at her in wonder. How the hell can this be? How is it I don’t know any of this?
“I...I don’t know what to say.” I whisper.
“Be happy for me darling.” Gladys says taking my hand and squeezing it tightly.
“I am...of course I am. I’m just shocked...I wish you would have told me you were seeing him, that you were happy with him. At least I would have been warned – and I wouldn’t have walked in on you today.” I add, still feeling sour.
“I know, I’m sorry about that. I don’t know who’s more embarrassed you or Malcolm?”
“Oh I think it’s me.” I answer dryly.
“He likes you.” Gladys says, staring at the patio door where she last saw him – she’s acting like a love struck teenager.
“So you’re in love?” I say in disbelief.
“Yes!” She beams. “I know this is a shock Coral, but it is for me too. I never expected anything like this to happen to me,” Gladys repeats – So I know it must be true.
I nod silently listening to her words, this is going to change everything. And although I am truly happy for Gladys, I always kind of expected her to be on her own, always available to me.
I know deep down that sounds selfish, but she’s my rock, my shoulder to lean on when it all gets a bit much, and if this new man is always going to be here, then I won’t have that anymore...
“Coral,” Gladys whispers and lifts my chin so I have to look at her. “Tell me what you’re thinking darling.”
I shake my head, unable, yet again, to get out what I really want to say.
“You’re unhappy about this?” She questions forlornly. “You don't want me to see him?”
“No Gladys, no that’s not it.”
“Then what darling, you can tell me.”
I sigh inwardly. “It’s just...you’ve always been here whenever I needed you and’ – “That won’t change,” she interrupts, her voice firm. “Malcolm knows how important you and Debbie are to me, I’ll never turn you away Coral.”
“It won’t be the same.” I whisper.
“I know,” she agrees. “But if I told you I’ve been lonely for a long time and I am happier with Malcolm, would it make you look at things differently?”
“You’re lonely?” I gasp.
“Yes I was.” She says, her eyes glistening over.
“Gladys, why didn’t you tell me?” I ask feeling concerned. How long has she felt like this?
“What’s the point in that darling? You can’t magic a partner out of thin air for me; the only one that could do anything about it was me…” I continue to listen in a daze as Gladys tells me all about Joyce helping her join a dating agency, the awful dates she has had. Making some friends out of the dates that went ok, but there was no spark, to finally ditching the dating agency and joining the golf club.So that’s why she did that, not to get fit, to find a man?
I chuckle slightly and shake my head. I must admit, it’s brave for her to do that – especially for a woman in her sixties.She continues telling me all about Malcolm, apparently he’s a property developer and a successful one too (that explains the rock on her finger) and is divorced with two grown girls, who are twins.
And I know from what Gladys is telling me he seems really nice, but a deep dark part of me is already worrying.What if he turns out to be a bastard and treats Gladys badly? What if he leaves her or breaks her heart? What if he seems like he’s really nice and turns out to be evil just like – No, don't think that, don't go there.
Either way, I don’t think I would be able to keep my hands off him if he hurt her, in any way.
So I decide to question it all.
“How long have you known him?” I ask feeling like the parent.
“A year.” She tells me.
“Really, that long?” I squeak.
“Oh, we were just friends at first,” she clarifies. “Malcolm was very hurt when his wife left him, she told him she was in love with another man, and had been for the past ten years and the only reason she stayed was the twins. It devastated him, and he lost all trust in women, he’s been on his own for twelve years now.
“And as for me...well it almost crushed me when my husband left, he was the apple of my eye. I believed he was the only one for me, and I spent many years waiting for him to come back through the door...of course he never did,” she smiles hiding the pain in her eyes.
“So when we met and told each other our stories, we decided to take it slow, start as friends. We both knew there was a deep attraction there, and that sometimes it just takes a little longer for trust to build. Shortly after six months we went away for the weekend’ – “I remember that,” I gasp interrupting her. Gladys lied to me?
“You told me you were going away with Joyce and John for the weekend.” I say. I remember Joyce talking to me about it the following Monday, making it up as she went along no doubt!
“Joyce did go away with John,” she clarifies, reading my mind. “And she hated lying to you, but she was doing my bidding. I didn’t want you getting upset about what was beginning to feel like such a big change, if it wasn’t going to work out.”
“But it has.” I grumble moodily.
“Yes,” Gladys beams.
I can see how happy she really is.“But a year isn’t that long to know somebody,” I tell her. “What if her turns out to be an ogre and is horrible to you? Or hurts you, or breaks your heart? What then?”
Gladys chuckles slightly.“Oh darling, it shows how much you care about me to be thinking the worst already, but try to put your mind at rest. Do you really think I’m the type of woman who would allow a man to treat me badly? I would not stand for any kind of abuse; mental, emotional or physical. He’d have his bags packed and out the door before you could say, how long does it take to pickle onions.”
Huh? I have
no idea how long it takes to pickle onions.
“Besides,” she continues. “I knew the moment our eyes met and so did he.”
Shit that sounds like me and Tristan.
“Knew what?” I ask in wide eyed wonderment.
“That he was the one.” She softly says.
I frown hard. “What...just by looking at him?” I ask.
“Well...yes darling. Goodness me, you must know about Soul-Mates?”
“What?” Now I’m confused!
Gladys chuckles again. “A Soul-Mate is something much stronger, more profound than good old regular love,” she says her eyes beaming brightly.
“It is?” I ask incredulously.
“Yes,” she smiles.
“So how are you meant to, you know...know that you’ve met your Soul-Mate?” I ask as effortlessly as I can, I don’t want to give anything away about Tristan.
I see Gladys’s eyes narrow slightly.“Have you met someone Coral?” She asks shrewdly.
I venomously shake my head.“No, you’d be the first to know if I had.” I say, laughing a little to trying to hide the lie. Gladys stays silent and continues to look at me dubiously. “Will you tell me?” I prompt, trying to get her to stop looking at me like that.
Finally she smiles and sits back down in her chair.
“Well it’s not really the person’s physical body you’re drawn to, or the way they look. It’s far deeper than that. It’s something that you feel deep within you that you can't get away from even if you tried, and that’s because it’s their soul that you’ve instantly fallen in love with. Not their body, their mind, or their personality,” Gladys takes a breath.
“It’s something much more...what’s the word? – “Earth shattering?” I pipe up knowing exactly how that feels, and also feeling nauseous with it. What if Tristan is the one, my soul-mate, and I’m his?
I quickly brush the thought away. I haven’t got long left, and I came here for different reasons.
Gladys laughs loudly at my version.“Sure you don’t want a drink darling?”
“Ok, lemonade please.” I say hoping she has a homemade batch left.
“Ok, darling, coming right up.” She says patting my knee.
I follow Gladys into the kitchen, ignoring the food that’s scattered all over the kitchen table. I dread to think what they were doing with it.“So what are you guys going to do? Are you moving in with him or him with you?” I ask, praying she’ll say she’s staying here.
“Ah, that’s something I wanted to talk to you about. I was going to come and see you, but now you’re here,” she says passing my lemonade to me. “I can tell you now. Malcolm doesn’t really like Brighton darling, he prefers Devon or Cornwall.”I nod as I listen, both are cool and definitely more for the non-party type people.“And to be honest darling, I have wanted to move out of Brighton for a while now.” She adds.
I remember Gladys begging me to let her sell the house when I was ready to buy, but I just thought she was doing that to get me a bigger deposit, a nicer place. Not because she wanted out herself?
“Then why haven’t you?” I ask.
“Because of you darling, I don’t want to leave you all on your own.” She says, her eyes glistening over again.
“Oh Gladys!” I hug her hard. “That’s so daft,” I say. “I’m not on my own, I have Rob and Carlos and Joyce, and Debs isn’t too far away either. Worthing isn’t the other side of the world; it’s forty minutes in the car.” I laugh trying to make her feel better.
“That’s not what I meant.” She says.And I know its coming!
“I hate that you’re on your own darling, I worry about you all the time. I don’t have to worry about Debbie at all, she’s happily settled with a family of her own. But I can't relax and retire and do all the things I want to do, because I’d be worrying all the time about whether you’re ok.”
I sit down, Gladys does the same, and take a long drink of my lemonade, I need a lubricated throat for this, when I’m done I put the glass on the table and get to my feet.
“Gladys!” I shout making her jump in her seat, her eyes widen with shock. “I am so effing furious with you right now. I cannot believe you have been holding yourself back because of me! To be quite honest I think it’s bloody ridiculous!”
“Coral!” Gladys shouts back, her voice wobbling, she’s always hated swearing.
“No, I’m serious. I’m not a kid anymore I don’t need you to babysit me. I am a grown woman living her own life and I think it’s about time you did the same, don’t you?” I sigh heavily rubbing my fingers across my forehead, trying to push the headache away that’s forming.
“Gladys please, you don’t need to keep this house. You don’t need to stay in Brighton. I think you’ve done enough for me already, don’t you? And if you want to go with Malcolm to Devon or Cornwall, or wherever,” I shout, throwing my hands up in the air.“It’s fine by me, in fact it would make me extremely happy to know that you’re happily living where you want to be, doing what you want to be doing. You could be cruising the world for all I care, as long as you’re happy.”
I sit back down in my chair.Feeling a little calmer, I take her hand in mine.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout at you, but I had no idea you felt like that, and I guess in a way I am clingy to you, but that’s just because I don’t want to lose you and because I love you so very much. You saved me in more ways than you will ever know. And I will miss you every day, it’ll be really strange not being able to just pop round, but there’s always Skype.” I say smiling broadly, swallowing hard against my tightening throat.
She shakes her head, not understanding. I knew she wouldn’t have a clue – Gladys is definitely non-techno.
“It’s like making a phone call, except it’s on video, you can see the person you’re calling.”
Her eyes light up.“Oh, that’s wonderful dear, I can skip you every day.” She beams.
I chuckle hard at that one.“Skype.” I reiterate, laughing hard.
“You’re taking this all too well Coral. I know you don’t like change.” She says watching me, assessing me.
I shrug my shoulders at her.“It’s inevitable.” I answer morosely. This is the second shock in as many days, I think I’m beginning to get the hang of what change is like. “Speaking of change how is Joyce?” I ask.
“Oh you know darling, she’s sad, very sad in fact.”
“Are you sure that selling up is what she really wants to do?”
“I’ll tell you a secret,” Gladys whispers, I lean in closer. “John wrote her a letter.”
“Really?” I squeak.
“Yes, not long after they married, he had it secured with their wills.” I wait with bated breath for Gladys to continue, when she doesn’t I’m practically bouncing in my seat with anticipation.
“So what did it say?” I ask.
Gladys frowns, her eyes filling with tears again.“John told her if anything should happen to him, to their life together, she was to completely restart it. Move country if she wanted to, to sell everything, their belongings, their home...of course, he didn’t know at the time they would have a successful business together,” Gladys pauses for a moment.
“He said he didn’t want her living her life in the past, regretting his death, spending too long mourning him. That life was for living and she was to pick herself up and move on.” I can't help feeling like its getting rid of the person as though they never existed.
“And she’s honouring his letter.” I say, thinking how sad the whole situation is. John was such a lovely man. Why does it always seem it’s the good ones that die young?
“Yes,” Gladys sighs heavily. “I know your scared about being with someone Coral, but don’t waste too much time on that. Life really is for living.”
“And relationships are not the be all and end all of life.” I retort, wanting to get off the subject.
“Are you sure you haven’t met anybody?” Gladys asks her eyes narrow
ing again.
“No.” I bark – Time to leave before she really gets suspicious. Picking up my handbag, I find my mobile and call a taxi to take me to George’s, I know I won’t make it on time by foot.
“Coral, let Malcolm take you.” Gladys says.
“No.” I hiss. I don’t want him taking me to see my shrink for god’s sake! “So will Joyce be back in tomorrow?” I ask changing the subject.
“As far as I know she will.”
I kiss Gladys on the cheek. “I’m really glad you’ve found someone.” I say, hugging her again.
“Me too,” she chortles, we walk arm in arm down the hallway to the front door. “Malcolm and I want to take you out for tea, so you two can get to know each other a little more. And we can tell you our wedding plans.” Jeez they haven’t wasted any time!
“Ok, how about tomorrow?” I know I don’t have anything on.
“Marvellous, we’ll pick you up,” she beams.
“Ok.” I force my lips into a smile and kiss her again. “Bye Malcolm,” I shout up the stairs.
“Bye Coral,” I hear his voice shout down to me. “Nice to have met you,” he adds.
I smile, feeling embarrassed again and head out the door.
Stepping into the taxi, I wave at Gladys as it pulls away, and try not to fall apart...
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I’M SAT IN GEORGE’S OFFICE, staring blankly out of the window. I can't believe Gladys has met someone. I can't believe she’s getting married. I can't believe she didn’t tell me any of this – I think I’m in shock.
“Coral, where are you?” George asks pulling me from my musing.
“Sorry.” I mumble apologetically.
“Care to share what’s on your mind?” He asks.
I look up at George, his green eyes are bright, his smile is warm, his cheeks a rosy red – I’m taken back for a moment to when I first met him. I thought I was staring at Father Christmas with his crisp white hair and beard, and his big round belly.
It was not long after what happened two years ago that I knew I needed help, that I needed to get it out, tell somebody.I spent weeks meeting lots of therapist and not clicking with any of them, then one night I drunkenly told Rob and Carlos about my search. George’s partner Phil is a good friend of Carlos’s and he asked if George would take me on.I was gutted when I was told he had recently retired, but I didn’t give in. Knowing full well that I feel more comfortable with gay men than I do with straight men, I got it into my head that he would be perfect for me, and when I casually met him (of course all arranged purposely by Carlos) I begged him to take me on.Initially he said no, so I begged and begged again until I got so annoying that he finally relented.
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 18