Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him

by Clair Delaney

  I hear a noise behind me. I dart up, almost falling over, then I hear the front door shut.

  “Coral?” Tristan calls out. My whole body relaxes in response to his voice. I close my eyes for a second savouring the exquisite feeling.

  “In here!” I call my voice all raspy, I swallow hard and pull my hand to my throat.

  As I walk into the kitchen I see him placing his bags down. Damn he looks good! He’s in a pair of light grey suit trousers, a crisp white shirt and a deep blue tie. He looks up with a smile on his face that immediately disappears – Uh-oh!

  Tristan marches into the kitchen, puts down the take-out bag and pulls me into his arms, squeezing tightly.

  ”What’s wrong?” He asks, his voice sounding husky and dry. God he smells divine!

  “Nothing,” I lie and reach up to kiss him, Tristan reciprocates but he still looks concerned.

  “You look nervous,” he tells me softly. “Should I be worried?” He asks.

  I shake my head. “No, I just...I missed you,” I tell him wrapping my arms around his waist, leaning my head against his chest.

  Tristan tightens his hold on me and kisses the top of my head.“I’ve missed you too,” he whispers.

  “You sound thirsty.” I look up at his warm eyes and smile.

  “Thirsty, hungry and in need of a shower,” he tells me. “You started without me,” he says gesturing to my glass of wine. Guilty as charged!

  “Yeah…sorry about that,” I answer feeling all my fears from earlier coming back to the surface.

  Tristan frowns down at me.“Hard day at work? Or a difficult session with George?” Is there anything he doesn’t know about me?

  “Um...no, not really,” I answer honestly, then castigate myself for it.

  “Ok, you talk, I’ll get a drink.” I sigh heavily.Tristan walks over to the fridge and pours himself a glass of wine, then turns and gazes at me in a strange way. He walks over to me, places his wine down and runs his finger down my cheek.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers.

  I frown – No way am I that!

  “You are,” he tells me firmly, as though he can hear my inner dialogue.

  I laugh nervously in response, his frown deepens.“Coral’ –“Let’s eat,” I interrupt, “before it goes cold.”I walk over to the cupboard and take out two plates and two sets of cutlery, thankfully we picked up a set on Tuesday, otherwise we’d be eating with our fingers!

  Tristan is watching me, assessing me but thankfully, he doesn’t question me. Instead he opens the bag and starts dishing it all up, it smells so good.When he’s done, I look down at my plate in wonder. I have peppered steak smothered with dianne sauce, chips, peas, mushrooms and half a grilled tomato.

  “Where the hell did you get this from?” I ask in astonishment. Tristan has already started eating – He must be really hungry! – He smiles and taps his nose at me.

  I chuckle and start eating, but each time I go to swallow my stomach tightens with nervous anticipation...

  WE EAT IN COMFORTABLE SILENCE. I top our wine glasses up half way through the meal, I’m drinking far more than I should - I know that, but I’m hoping it’ll help me relax. Tristan has already finished, and is quietly watching me as he sips his wine.

  “Why don’t you go shower,” I tell him. “I’ll be finished by the time you get back.” Tristan gazes at me for a moment then looks down at my plate. I’m eating so slowly tonight!

  “Off your food?” He asks, I nod feeling awkward. Tristan stands and kisses my temple, then grabs his bags and makes his way up the stairs.

  The moment he’s out of view I exhale loudly – Why do I feel so relieved?

  I decide I don’t want to dwell on that too deeply and try to eat some more, but two thirds into my meal, I decide I’m too full to finish – I hate wasting food – I guess my stomach must have shrunk with not eating regularly.

  I stand, feeling exhausted for some reason, and start clearing everything away.

  Maybe it’s the adrenalin that’s been pumping through my system for hours? Or maybe it’s the wine? Or maybe it’s the fact that I have hardly slept at all? I just can’t seem to get Tristan out of my head, and the few hours sleep I have had, I’ve dreamt of him.

  Just as I’m washing the last plate, I hear Tristan coming down the stairs.

  “That was quick,” I say breathlessly. He looks so good, he’s in a pair of loose black sweats that hang in the right way on his hips and a light grey vest, I haven’t seen his bare shoulders before, they’re big, beautiful, and look very strong.

  He quickly reaches me, his scent knocking me for six, then, slowly he reaches out and takes my face in his hands.“Ok spit it out, why are you so nervous? Have I done something wrong, or not done something?” He looks really worried.

  “No!” I bark feeling angry that he thinks that, but I can't get my words out either. The only way I feel I can explain it to him is to show him.

  I move his wine glass out of the way and prop myself up onto the breakfast bar, opening my legs I pull on his vest so he reaches me, then I wrap my legs around him and kiss him, hard.

  Tristan moans in response. I feel his erection grow between my legs and freeze – Fuck!

  I pull back from his lips, trying not to show him how much I’m panicking, but my breathing has escalated and my heart feels like it’s trying to break out of my chest – Fuck!

  “What is it?” He whispers, trailing soft kisses down my neck.

  “Tristan…stop!” I bark.His head snaps back up, our eyes locking onto one another.“I’m sorry, I can’t...” I move him out of my way, jump down off the breakfast bar and walk towards the terrace, but Tristan catches me, wrapping his arm around my waist, my back to his front.

  “What was all that about?” He whispers in my ear.

  I lean my head back against his chest and close my eyes.I feel stupid and angry and pissed off that I thought it would just naturally happen.

  I freaked out and I want him so badly – Fuck! What do I do? – I hear George’s voice – Tell him Coral!

  I turn around and look up into his worried, anxious eyes. I stroke his cheek, his day’s stubble has disappeared, but now I’m really looking, I notice he looks tired.

  “You look tired.” I say.

  “Don’t change the subject. Tell me what’s wrong?” He orders in a deep, flat voice.

  “No!” I bark. I can't tell him, I just can't.

  “Coral, what just happened?” He pushes, I can tell he’s getting angry, frustrated. He takes hold of my upper arms and grips them tightly. “Tell me baby, you should know you can tell me anything,” he adds, his eyes pleading with mine.

  And in that moment, I don’t know why, but all my fears, doubts, worries, and inhibitions come rushing to the surface – And I know…in that very moment, I know – I can't do this anymore.

  I mean, who have I been kidding? Myself that’s who!

  I can't do relationships, I can't do intimacy, and I can't do this – not anymore. I know I’m self destructing it, but I self destruct everything, people, places. The only thing I have ever held onto in a long term sense is my job.

  I’ve even spent most of my life waiting for Gladys to leave, even though I know she loves me, deeply, and I love Tristan, more than I’ve ever loved anyone, which is why I have to go. I can't continue like this, knowing full well that one day I’ll just up and leave.

  “Tristan, please let go of me.” He instantly releases my arms. “I can't do this,” I mumble staring down at the floor.

  “What?’ – “I have to go, I can't do this anymore,” I whisper, keeping my eyes fixed to the floor. If I look up at him I know I’ll stay and I can't, I can't do this to him, or me.

  “Why?” he gasps.I shake my head unable to give him answer.“You’re just running because you’re scared!” he barks.

  “Yes, I am scared, but I still need to go,” I croak.

  “Coral, no, please…don’t do this,” his voice quivers.


  “I told you Tristan…” I whisper. “Right from the start, I…” I shake my head, unable to articulate my feelings.

  “Please…Coral I don’t want you to go,” he whispers.

  I frown at the floor. “I think it’s better this way, to leave now…before we get too involved.”

  Tristan snorts sarcastically at me. “Too involved?” I look up at him, he’s gripping his hair with his hands, a look of despair on his face. “I think we’ve gone way past that, don’t you?” he barks, his voice shaking, his cheeks flushing, his eyes darkening and widening in horror – Fuck!

  “Tristan…” I close my eyes and try to get my words out. “You don’t….I’m not…” I break off again.

  “Baby….please, don’t do this…” He says, his voice trembling.

  He tries to reach out to me, but I take a cautious step back.

  “Please, Tristan, don’t make this any harder than it already is.” I look up at him, he looks broken, like the world is falling from beneath his feet, I instantly squeeze my eyes shut.“I have to go,” I whisper, and without looking at him, I turn around and make my way up the stairs.

  Reaching the bedroom, I silently pack my bag, when I’m done I throw my weekend bag over my shoulder, grab hold of my handbag, stuff my feet into my trainers and march down the stairs – I feel numb.

  Reaching the kitchen, I take a hesitant look at Tristan. He’s sat on one of the bar stools, a deep frown etched into his features, totally lost in thought. I almost change my mind – No! Coral you have to leave, you’re not good for him!

  The truth of the matter is that I’m not strong, and I’m not capable of this. I have nothing to offer him. Nothing but fears, doubts, insecurities, and now I know – I am incapable of love.

  I march over to him, take my keys out of my bag, unhook the set he gave me and silently place them on the breakfast bar. I take another hesitant look at him; he looks broken, totally and utterly broken – God that hurts, knowing I’ve put that pain there!

  Tears swim in his eyes as he looks up at me – Oh fuck!

  “Don’t go,” he croaks.

  My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach.“I’m sorry,” I squeak and dash towards the front door, I yank it open, close it behind me and speed walk down the driveway, keeping my eyes fixed firmly ahead - I don’t stop, I can't stop, I won’t stop…

  I WALK IN A ZOMBIE LIKE STATEall the way back to my studio. I feel nothing, just an empty hollow feeling that’s always been there. Only now it feels a thousand times more profound, more empty.

  Reaching my studio, I unlock the door step inside and let my bags fall to the floor - Coral, what have you done?

  I ignore my own thoughts and make my way up the stairs.Reaching my bedroom, I kick off my trainers and collapse on the bed.

  In one fail swoop the enormity of what I’ve just done comes crashing down on me and I howl in pain.What is this?

  I grip my stomach trying to make the empty ache disappear – God, please make it stop!

  This is torture, I can't take it. I rock myself back and forth as I try to make it all go away. The pain I feel at never seeing Tristan again is indescribable, I feel it everywhere – In my head, my heart, my soul, my body, it even feels like it’s with me in the room – And I know that’s because he was here, in this place, with me. What have I done?

  The right thing! I tell myself – I’m not good for him, I can't give him what he wants, what he deserves. I am not capable of this, of love – I’m a twisted freak.

  I cry even harder as I digest these thoughts.

  I grip the quilt closer to me, hoping it will bring me some sort of comfort, some solace, but it smells of him. I take in a deep ragged breath and I’m instantly knocked over by his scent, it’s deeply engrained in the quilt, which makes me howl even harder – Will this ever end?

  I curl up into a ball and really let go, crying so hard I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to stop. I picture his face as I left him, so hurt, so broken….Tristan…

  End of Part One…

  Thank you for reading

  Fallen

  For Him

  Darkest Fears Trilogy Book One

  Fallen For Him - Copyright © 2016 Clair Delaney

  The moral rights of the author have been asserted. All characters and events in this e-book other than those clearly in the public domain are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidence - All right reserved. This e-book is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the author, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text, maybe a direct infringement of the authors rights, and those responsible maybe liable in law accordingly.

  Freed By Him – Book Two

  Freed

  By Him

  Darkest Fears Trilogy Book Two

  By

  Clair Delaney

  “The term ‘Never let me go’ was never so aptly used as it was in this, on both their counts. I truly loved and connected with how this played out. I’m kind of a wreck as I wobble on the final book. Can't wait…”5 stars - Goodreads

  “Hot! Hot! Hot! This author knows how to write hot steamy sex! Plus, it was just as gut wrenching as the first book. I really love Coral and Tristan. I laughed and I cried, and then the climax at the end was just awesome. This trilogy is going to go far in the romance world, and this author is going to have a stellar career…”5 stars – LibraryThing

  “Brilliant sequel to the first book, I was as equally hooked into the story. After the end of Fallen For Him, I couldn’t wait to get into Freed By Him. It’s one of my most memorable reads for years…”5 stars – Amazon.co.uk

  “Coral and Tristan share an amazing chemistry together, but Tristan’s past hides an enormous secret that threatens their future together, it was a joy to read. The steamy parts were well written and I loved the dialogue. Thumbs up…”5 stars – Amazon.com

  “Intense and very engaging romance, I was so easily pulled into the steamy relationship between Coral and Tristan. Another great read that delivered on both the dramatic and erotic fronts. Love the characters and the story. Looking forward to the conclusion in Forever With Him…”5 stars – Amazon.com

  “One of the best series I have read in a long time. After finishing the first book, I just had to read the second. I loved the love scenes and how powerful the story was. This book was just as good as the first and I cannot wait for the third…”5 stars – Barnes & Noble

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER ONE

  I HEAR THE PATIO DOOR SLIDE OPEN and instantly stop crying.Who the hell is that? I don’t want anyone to see me like this!I lean up from my slumped position, listening intently. Maybe I should call the police? Shit, my bag is downstairs!

  “Coral?” I hear Tristan’s voice shout, making my heart pound against my chest. Oh no!What is he doing here?I hear the bathroom door open and close as he tries to find me.

  “Coral. Answer me!” He demands. Oh no!I don’t want him here. I don’t want him to see me
like this. His footsteps come barreling up the stairs, his eyes bleak and wide, searching for me.

  “Coral!” He gasps as he reaches the top of the stairs and sees me.

  “Go away!” I croak and squeeze my eyes shut.

  “No baby, no!” He says, sounding appalled. The next thing I know I’m in his arms and he’s crushing me to him. I try to push him away, but it’s useless.“Baby, tell me what’s wrong? Why did you leave?” He asks rocking me slowly.

  “Tristan, please go.” I croak.

  “No!” he barks. “I’m not leaving you in this state.”

  “Please…” I whimper.

  “Why?” He asks in his husky voice.

  “B-because…” I choke back the tears that threaten to fall again. “Tristan, I…I can't do this, I can't be what you want, what you deserve.” I croak.

  “You are what I want.” He states clearly. “I love you just the way you are.” I finally look up at his deep, hypnotic eyes. “Don’t you know that?” He questions.

  I sniff loudly – It’s really not attractive.

  “But’–“No buts baby, come home with me.” He pleads.

  “No,” I grumble. I just want to be left alone. I don’t want to face my fears, and I don’t want to see the look in his eyes when I freak out because he’s touched me in a sexual way. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the horror within.

  “I don’t want you on your own baby. You don’t even have to be in the same room as me, I’ll sleep downstairs, just come home.” I think about what he’s asking – Can I do that?

  “Please…” he begs again.

  “Tristan…” I look up at him feeling full of remorse and guilt. He gently wipes a couple of stray tears away with his thumbs.