“You don’t have to tell me anything, just come back with me.” I can tell by the look in his eyethat he’s not going to give in. “I told you baby, I won’t stop fighting for you no matter how hard you push me away, no matter how many times you leave me. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.”He leans forward and kisses my temple. He keeps his lips there; pressed hard against my skin.
A lump forms in my throat. He came back for me, he came back…I think about the piercing pain that lanced through me just moments earlier, and how it seems to have magically vanished. I think about how I felt when I thought I would never see him again, just moments ago, yet here he is cradling me in his arms – Why? Why does he care so much for me?
“Why are you here Tristan, I…I left you,” I croak.
“I know,” he sighs heavily. “And it was the worst moment in my entire life.” He trembles.
I gasp and look up at him. “I don’t ever want to feel that pain again, so don’t run from me…please. I’ll be whatever you want me to be, just don’t….” He breaks off and crushes me to him again – Oh Tristan!That’s just how I felt!
What a stupid thing I did, especially given the fact that this feels so right, like he’s meant for me.I finally relent, and wrap my arms around him, resting my head against his chest, listening to his racing heart. I don’t know how long we stay there for, five minutes, an hour, I’m not sure, but my tears slowly subside and I start to feel calmer.
“Come home with me?” He whispers, rocking me gently. I think about his request and realise I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be without Tristan – even though it’s scaring me to death.
I take a deep breath and slowly blow it out.“Ok,” I tremble. I’m still not sure if I’m doing the right thing here.
His whole body seems to sag with relief.“Good…that’s good.” I look up at him just as he lifts my hand to his lips. “You’re trembling,” he says and kisses my knuckles.
“I’m scared,” I whisper croakily.
“So am I.” He admits. He rocks me gently again.“Jesus Coral…don’t do that to me again,” he says, his heart beating madly – I close my eyes and surrender. Feeling his arms wrapped around me like this, is like being in seventh heaven. I never want to feel like that again, which is really fucking scary, because I know it means facing my fears.
“Shall I get the car?” He murmurs.
“The car?” I question.
“Yeah, I went for a drive…” He solemnly shakes his head. “It’s not far away, shall we walk there or’ – “No, can you go get it?” I interrupt. “I still feel shaky, I don’t think my legs would carry me.”
“Yes, I can. But I need you to do something for me,” he says.
“What?”I whisper.
“I need you to give me your word you’ll be here when I get back.” I nod silently to him.“Say it Coral,” he says more sternly.
“I’ll be here,” I whimper.
He kisses my temple once more, releases me and slides off the bed.“I won’t be long,” he tells me.I smile weakly at him and watch him walk away from me. Crap!
Now I have no choice. I can't dodge him and go to Gladys’s. Sighing heavily, I climb off the bed and slowly make my way down the stairs.Stepping into the bathroom, I take a good look at myself. Christ, what a mess!
I walk back into the livingroom find my toiletries, and makeup bag, and head back into the bathroom.I slowly cleanse my face then try my best to re-apply some mascara -It’s a trying feat with red, puffy eyes. When I’m done I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to find some courage from somewhere – Tristan’s going to want to know why I freaked out earlier, I know he is.
I close my eyes for a moment, take a deep breath and head back into the living room. Just as I bend down to repack my bags, Tristan walks into the studio. He’s breathing hard and sweating; I guess he ran back here to make sure I didn’t disappear on him again.
“Hey.” He says and walks over to me.
“Hi, did you want some water?” He shakes his head at me.“Ok.” I look down at my hands that are twistingtogether in anxiety, unsure of what to say or do.
“Shall we?” He says, I nod in reply, so he bends down and picks up my weekend bag. I throw my handbag over my shoulder,and find my sunglasses to hide my puffy eyes. Our eyes catch again as I slide them on, he silently reaches out and caresses my cheek.
“Ready?” I nod silently to him. He takes a deep breath and silently holds his hand out to me. I place my hand in his open palm, and we silently head home...
AS WE REACH THE GATES TO THE HOUSE, Tristan turns and catches my hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. He pulls up outside the house, switches off the engine and turns in his seat. Feels very strange being back here, considering I only left a short while ago – I try not to panic.
“Ok?” he softly asks.I smile weakly at him.
I still don’t know if I’m doing the right thing here.
“Ok.” He nods his head once, almost as though he understood my unspoken answer, and steps out the car.Reaching my side, he opens my door and holds out both his hands.I place my hands in his and he gently pulls me to my feet. Then he bends down and swiftly kisses my forehead, shutting the door behind me.
“I’ll get the bags, why don’t you let yourself in?” I shake my head at him. I don’t want to go inside that house without him.
“Ok.” He reaches out and runs a cool finger down my cheek, calming me. Then he walks round to the boot, collects my bags and comes back over to me. I take his outstretched hand, and we walk to the front door – this feels so surreal.
Taking his key out he unlocks the door, and pushes it open, gesturing for me to go first. With trembling legs, I take a step inside the house, then another and another, until I’m stood inside the huge entrance hall.
I hear Tristan follow, shut the door behind him and drop my bag to the floor.
“Do you want anything baby?”I put my handbag down, take off my sunglasses, and slowly turn to look at him.
He puts his hands in his pockets and gazes back at me.He looks lost, very wary, and slightly uncomfortable. I hate that I’ve made him feel like this. He’s beautiful, and sweet, caring and attentive and I love him. Why the hell did I walk out on him?
I grit my teeth at myself, take the two steps needed and crush myself against his chest, wrapping my arms tightly around his strong, muscular back.
“I’m so sorry,” I choke. He hesitantly wraps his arms around me and gently rocks me.
“It’s ok baby. You don’t have to be sorry.” He softly says.
“But I walked out on you,” I choke.
“Yes, I know,” he shudders.“What do you want Coral? Do you want to be alone, or do you’ – “No, I want to be with you,” I interrupt, closing my eyes and inhaling his intoxicating scent.
“Oh baby, I want to be with you too.” Tristan kisses my hair several times. “Coral, what do you need?”
“You,” I whisper.
I hear his soft chuckle and look up at him.“I need you too,” Tristan says, finally smiling at me. He reaches up and takes my face in his hands. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, ok?”
I nod once and swallow hard.
“You didn’t eat much earlier. Are you hungry?” I shake my head. “Thirsty?” I shake my head again and start to smile, Tristan’s grin widens in response.
“Hmm... what to do?” He says.
“Stay here,” I reply, squeezing him tighter. I may not like strangers touching me, but ever since I came to realise that Gladys wasn’t bad, I always loved her hugs – they make me feel safe, loved. Just like Tristan’s hugs, only Tristan’s are better, so much better.
“I have a better idea.” He says, smiling broadly now.
“You do?” I squeak, looking up at those mesmerizing chocolate eyes of his.
Tristan nods once, his serious expression is back. “Dance with me?” He asks.
“Now?�
� I squeak.Tristan nods once.“Here?”
He nods again, looking down at me with such a loving expression, that I have only one answer.
“Ok,” I shrug. “But we don’t even have any music?” I add.
“Stay there.” He grins and walks over to the kitchen.
Moments later I hear a guitar rift start. I instantly recognize the tune–Hero, Enrique Iglesias. My heart starts manically beating…oh the words…this song… it’s so beautiful…I feel very overwhelmed and have to fight to stop myself crying.
Tristan walks over to me, his eyes wide,and his hand held out.
I place my hand in his, without a word, he pulls me into him, and spins us around a couple of times, making me smile. Then we slowly dance our way around the empty space of the living area, Tristan is so good at this.
“Hero?” I whisper, looking up at him.
He nods solemnly and twirls us around again.
“You wanna be my hero?” I ask.
Tristan stares down at me and nods once more. Oh Tristan!
“Oh,” I smile up at him, feeling shy.
He stares down at me with wide,sincere, serious eyes.“Always,” he whispers.
My heart swells with love again, love for this man. I cradle my head under his neck and surrender to it. I close my eyes just as Tristan sings in my ear, ‘I can be your hero baby, I can kiss away the pain, I will stand by you forever, you can take my breath away’’
I practically melt in his arms.What a beautiful thing to do, what a song to pick!
The beat comes in, loud and clear and Tristan really starts to twirl us around, singing to me again. Tears pool in my eyes as I look up at him. He wants to be my hero!
I feel some of my barriers break down and my heart stitch back together; just that little bit more…oh Tristan, what are you doing to me?The song ends, but Tristan is still swaying us around, then he stops and we gaze at one another.
“You ok?” He smiles.
“Yes, I am now.” I say smiling back.
“Wine?” He asks – Hell yes! I think I need it.
“Please.” Tristan goes to move, but I grip onto him. “Stay here, just a little while longer,” I beg.
“Anything for you,” he softly whispers.I hold him to me for a few more minutes until I’m feeling calm and brave enough to let him go.
“Want to go watch the sunset?” He asks huskily, bringing me back to him.
“Yeah, that would be nice.” I look up at him.
He slowly and hesitantly reaches down. His lips millimeters from mine, waiting to see if I respond. I reach up onto my tiptoes, and plant my lips against his, they mould into one, it’s almost as though they were made for each other.Perfect!
He kisses me back, gently, softly, but it’s enough to make my head swim, I feel so lightheaded.
I stop kissing him, my lips going limp against his.
“You ok?” He asks.
I open my eyes and the room swims and sways – Why do I feel faint?
“I feel faint,” I whisper. In the next breathe I am up and into his arms. I wrap my arm around his neck, cradle my head under his chin and inhale deeply.
“That’s because you haven’t eaten much,” he scolds as he carries me into the kitchen.
“No,” I shake my head, keeping my eyes closed. “It’s you, you take my breath away.”
“Ditto,” he whispers. Tristan sits me down on the breakfast bar, his arms gripping me tightly.“Open your eyes baby.” I do as he asks, but this time I feel more stable, the world has stopped spinning.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” I whisper again.
Tristan smiles at me. “I’m not.” He replies.
I frown up at him. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not sorry I pushed. It made you leave, and that in turn has made me realise a few things,” he says.
“Like what?” I whisper, with wide eyes.
He shakes his head at me. “Later.”I pout at him, he laughs at me then his serious face is back. “Maybe you shouldn’t have wine if you’re feeling faint; you should have some food instead.”
“No,” I bark.
He smirks at me.“How about some orange juice?”I raise an eyebrow at him sardonically.“Ok, wine,” he says, smiling and shaking his head at me.
Tristan pours us both a glass of wine, and places them next to me on the breakfast bar. Then he picks up the other beanbag, walks out onto the patio and makes a makeshift lounger with the one I’d left out there. Then, he comes back to me with his arms open. I go to take his hands to stand, but he simply shakes his head and lifts me up into his arms.
I roll my eyes at him. “I can walk you know,” I say dryly.
He smiles wryly at me. “Humour me.”He walks outside and places me down on the beanbags, then he heads back inside and returns with our wine.
Placing them down on the floor next to the beanbags, he sits behind me, his back against the sliding door,his legs stretched either side of me, and pulls me gently against his chest.
“This ok?” he softly asks.
“Yes,” I whisper.Handing a glass to me, he then picks up his glass and wraps his free arm around my waist. I feel contented, that warm glow flows through me from the dream again.
“This is nice,” he whispers and takes a sip of wine.
“Yeah it is.” I agree. I really, really hope Tristan meant what he said; that he won’t ask me about what happened earlier –because right now, I feel on top of the world. What a difference to how I felt just a short while ago?
WE SIT IN COMFORTABLE SILENCE, both brooding I think, but the setting sun is a welcome distraction. I quietly sip my wine and try to keep my mind clear of all thoughts, good and bad. I watch the sky change from scorching oranges and blazing yellow, to a darker ominous mix of deep pinks, and aquamarines.
I decide the silence has become too deafening, so I rack my brains for something to say, other than the obvious.“Did you have a good week?” I ask.
“A good week?” He questions.
“Yes, when you left on Wednesday. Was it a productive week work wise?”
Tristan chuckles, kisses my temple, and thankfully starts telling me about what he’s been doing for the few days we’ve been apart…
THE SUN HAS SET ON OUR PERFECT little piece of heaven and the stars are out in full force. I shiver slightly, a cool breeze has picked up, so of course, my over-sensitive body has developed goose bumps all over.
“Cold?” Tristan asks, running his hand up and down my arm trying to generate some heat.
“A little,” I answer.
“Want to go in? We could put the fire on?” He suggests.
“Won’t you get too hot?” Tristan already feels toasty against me.
“I don’t care. Whatever you want beautiful, it is yours.” He says in that sexy, low voice.
“Ok I’m convinced, a fire would be nice.” He stands, takes my hands and gently pulls me to my feet.“May I?” he asks, his arms open wide.
“Tristan, I’m fine now,” I say trying to placate him.
“Coral’ – “Tristan, I’m not feeling faint anymore, so you don’t need to carry me into the house, ok?”His lips set into a hard line. I roll my eyes at him.“I need a bathroom break. Why don’t you take the bean-bags in and get the fire going?”I suggest.
“Fine!” He huffs, then picks up the bags and heads inside.I smile internally at his over protective ways. I collect our empty glasses, place them on the breakfast bar and head off to the downstairs bathroom. When I return I notice he has the fire going, its orange glow filling the room, creating a warm, romantic atmosphere.
“Mmm…that’s nice,” I say huddling in front of it, warming up my arms.
“Would you like a jumper?”
“No, I’m ok thanks.”Tristan comes and stands behind me, places his hands on my arms and gently rubs up and down.
“You feel cold.” I close my eyes to the feeling. His skin against mine does strange things to me. It heats my blood, and sets
my heart racing. I don’t understand it?
“I’ll be fine,” I breathe.
“Want a drink?” he asks. “I have a really nice Cognac?” he adds.
The same kind of brandy George gave me? I’m in!
“Yes please.” I smile up at him and there it is; that feeling.
I can feel it surrounding us, a strange bubble, like a bright white light, making me feel safe, turned on, dizzy with wanting, longing. Whatever it is, it’s strong, really strong. Almost tangible, like I could reach out and touch it. The room is so dark, except for the orange glow from the fire, but I can't drag my gaze away from his, again!
He smiles nervously at me then loses the grin. “Thank you for coming back, for trusting me.”
I swallow hard. Is this just lust? Or do people really fall in love and feel like this about each other?.Tristan moves closer, his lips parting slightly and kisses me softly on the lips, then runs a cool, soft finger down my cheek.“You are so beautiful.”
I swear to god if he keeps saying that he’s going to have me convinced that I am.I slowly exhale at his touch. It sears me, weakens me and at the same time, it makes me mad; because I don’t want to fall in love, but I think it may already be too late.
“Shall we have some music?” Ican't find my voice so I nod my head. “I won’t be a moment,” he softly adds.Tristan returns with his MP3 Player and his portable speakers. “Why don’t you find something,” he says handing them to me.
“Ok.” I smile shyly at him – Why am I feeling shy again?
Shaking my head at myself, I switch on the player and plug in the speakers. When it fires up, I notice it’s a Cowon, the same as mine. It’s freaky how many things we have that are the same.I start scrolling through his list of albums and I’m gob-smacked– again! Tristan returns and sits on one of the beanbags, placing the Brandy’s infront of the fire.
“This is freaky,” I tell him, still scrolling through the albums.
“What is?” he asks.
“We have so many of the same albums,” I answer.
“We do?” he says in surprise.
“Yeah, it’s weird. What do you fancy?” I ask.
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 43