“There’s a new album I put on yesterday, I made my own mix of songs.” He smiles enigmatically at me. I pass him the player so he can find it.
“What?” I grin back.
“They all remind me of you,” he tells me and presses play.
Gabrielle Aplin’s soft voice fills the room with The Power Of Love – I feel all the blood drain out of my face. It’s such a haunting, heavy track. Tristan picks up the Brandy’s offering one to me. I shake my head at him, I don’t want mine yet. He nods once and sits back on the beanbag, sipping his drink.
I stay sat, several feet away from Tristan, in the safe zone.
My backside hurts sitting on the cold, porcelain floor, but the fire is a welcome relief, warming my arms, my body. As I listen to the song, I feel myself getting overwhelmed–she sings this song so well.
I turn and gaze at Tristan, he’s watching me carefully, slowly sipping his Brandy. I turn away and stare at the fire, watching the flames lick and bite each other, battling for the biggest flame.
I close my eyes, letting the song wash over me. Is this what Tristan is to me?Is he going to cleanse my dark soul?He’s made it pretty clear what he feels for me. He wants to love me, protect me, be my hero, that much is obvious.
Love is an energy Gabrielle sings –Yes, it is, one I don’t know, or understand, not like this.
I wrap my arms around my legs and continue to stare at the fire. The song ends,and it’s quickly followed by James Morrison’s You Make it Real. It’s a little more upbeat thank heavens; and myfavourite song of his.
I turn and smile at Tristan.
“You like?” he asks.
I take a deep breath and crawl across the floor. He seems nervous as I approach him, but as I do, I slowly lean forward and kiss him, being careful not to get too carried away.
“My favourite.” I whisper against his lips.
“Mine too.” He murmurs, then kisses me back, his tongue slowly lapping against mine. I feel myself getting tearful and overwhelmed by the moment – again!What is wrong with me?
“Oh baby…” Tristan pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me.
“Sorry…” I choke. “I just can’t get over...” I stop myself and take a deep breath.
“I know,” he says, softly stroking my back.“This already feels very heavy and deep…permanent. Kind of took us both by surprise.”
“Yeah…” I croak, a little laugh escaping.
Tristan leans forward, picks up my glass, and hands it to me.“To us,” He says.
“To us,”I breathe and we click glasses. I lay against Tristan chest again, enjoying the songs,and the sound of his heart beating in my ear.
“Coral, I have something for you.” He says, his voice sounding nervous.
I turn my head and gaze up at him. “For me?” I squeak.
“Yes,” he breathes. “I was going to give you this earlier…” He breaks off momentarily, a flash of pain crosses his face.
It makes me cringe inwardly, knowing I put it there. He reaches down beside him, and picks up an A5 sized jewellery box. It’s dark blue, brushed velvet, and it’s got a big red bow on it…
CHAPTER TWO
I SIT UP FROM MY SLUMPED POSITION, my mouth gaping open, my heart slamming against my chest – Shit! He’s bought me a present! – I hate presents.
Gladys and Debs have always been awful at Christmas, buying me things I either don’t want or need, and the impossible moments that have to follow of saying thank you, and smiling as though you like it are cringe-worthy.
“Here,” Tristan gestures for me to take it.
I look up at his warm eyes not really knowing what to do. Tristan gently takes hold of my hand and places the box in it. I can see the apprehension in his face, I feel myself tighten up with anxiety – What if I don’t like it?
“Open it,” he orders, his eyes crinkling sweetly at the corners.
Tentatively, I pull on the satin ribbon that’s been tied into a bow, and lift the lid.Wow!
I am both surprised and elated. Inside is a bracelet, a very old, antique looking bracelet. As I look closer, I see that it has dragons engraved into it. There are four segments, each with a dragon, and a Chinese symbol hanging down as a charm. It’s quite chunky and is almost a gun metal grey, just the kind of thing I like – I look up at Tristan in astonishment.
“How did you?’ – “You have several dragon ornaments in your bedroom. I saw this and thought you might like it,” he softly says.
I shake my head in wonder and smile at him. This is the first piece of jewellery I have been given that I will actually wear – Gladys gave up years ago, after noticing I wouldn’t wear what she bought me.
“It’s antique. A miracle dragon bracelet, they’re quite rare,” he tells me.
I’m awestruck. Not only did he get the dragon part right, but I have a thing for antique jewellery. The stuff you see in most of the jewellers just seems same-o, same-o, to me. Antiques are just well...different.I peer down at the bracelet, I’m nervous to touch it, it looks so delicate.
“Here baby.” Tristan takes it out of the box, and carefully clips it around my right wrist, it’s a perfect fit.
“Tristan…I don’t know what to say…thank you,” I choke.
“Do you like it?” He questions.
“Yes,” I gush, smiling down at it. “Thank you,” I say again.
He lifts my chin to look at him.“You’re very welcome, I’m really glad you like it,” he says smiling broadly.
“Oh I do…” I gush, then lean forward and softly kiss him.
He chuckles against my lips.“You really like it?” he says a little smugly.
“Yes I do. How did you know I’d like an antique?” I ask, feeling a little dazed by it all.
“You don’t wear any jewellery, and you’re anything but traditional Coral, so I took a chance,” he says wrapping his arms around my waist again.
“I love it,” I tell him, gazing at it again. It’s not to everyone’s taste, but it’s just so different. “What does the symbol mean?” I ask in wonder.
Tristan chuckles and kisses me again.“You’re going to love this part,” he says tucking my hair behind my ear.
“I am?” I say feeling giddy with excitement.
“Yes.” He smiles his deep, wide grinned sexy smile at me.
“Tell me,” I squeak.
He reaches up and gently strokes my cheek.“Karma,” he whispers.I lose the grin, and swallow hard. How can he get so much right with one piece of jewellery?
“I...” I swallow again. “Is that just luck or..?”
Tristan shakes his head.“No. I liked the dragons and I thought you would too, but when I was told the symbol meant Karma, I knew it was meant for you.”
“That’s just, wow...thank you,” I gush again, feeling tears prick the corners of my eyes.
“Hey now, there’s no need for that,” he says, brushing the fallen tears away.
I reach up, lean my forehead against his and close my eyes – I still don’t get what I’ve done to deserve him.“You’re a wonderful man Tristan Freeman,” I breathe.
He reaches up, puts his hands either side of my face and pulls my head up.
I open my eyes and gaze back at him.
“And you’re a beautiful, challenging woman,” he says.I smile, he smiles in return. I kiss him once more then lie back against him, staring down at my new bracelet.“I really like the quilt cover you picked,” he tells me, pulling me from my musing.
“Yeah?” Tristan seems to like neutral colours–like me. So I picked mocha; it goes with the rest of the room.
“You must let me pay you back,” he tells me.
I turn and look up at him.“I thought you said you wanted this to be ‘our’ place?” I question.
“Well...yeah I did, but’- “No buts Tristan, you have to let me contribute,” I tell him sternly.
“No!” he barks, I frown at him. “Coral, you have a mortgage and bills of your own to pay.
Please don’t get buying anything else for this place, it all comes out of my pocket. Understand?” Tristan is mad, his eyes have narrowed, and the way he’s looking at me tells me there’s no argument to be had.
“Fine!” I huff. How ridiculous, I can’t even buy anything for the house!
“Which reminds me,” he says, getting up and walking over to his suit jacket that’s hanging on one of the breakfast stools. I watch him pull out his wallet and walk backover to me. Sitting down, he opens it up and pulls out a card. “Here, this is for you.”
I cock one eyebrow up at him. “Why are you trying to give me one of your cards?”
“It’s not mine,” he tells me, opening my hand and placing the card in it.
I look down and see my name printed on it – What the fuck?
“Um...why...Tristan what’s going on? I don’t understand?” I say, scowling at him.
“Anything you want just put it on that card, it’s a joint account,” he tells me artlessly.
“A what?” I gasp in shock. I can’t believe he’s done that!I wouldn’t do that! Not from only knowing someone a few days, but then I do have trust issues.“Are you crazy?” I shriek. “You don’t know me, yet you give me this card?” I shake my head at him, I can’t believe....
“Coral, you want to buy something, anything...some clothes, pay a bill, or maybe you’re out and you see something you like for this place, just use the card. Ok?”
I shake my head in wonder, I feel like I’ve been given the keys to the bank.
“I trust you,” he tells me pulling my chin up, his eyes boring into mine.
“I still think you’re crazy,” I say, half choking on my own words.
Tristan chuckles at me.“I think I’m a pretty good judge of character, I don’t see you running off with my millions,” he says.
I roll my eyes at him. “Have you ever done this before?”
“No, well…apart from my folks,” he answers, his voice soft with warm memories. “Want to see a picture of them?” he asks, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Of course,” I say, wondering if it’s going to upset him to do this. Tristan opens his wallet, pulls out a faded photograph and hands it to me.
It’sa small, square, black and white photograph- God knows how old it is!
I handle it carefully, and stare at the young couple smiling back at me with their arms wrapped around one another. Tristan looks just like his very handsome Grandfather, and his Granny is very pretty. Her hair is curled and pinned back, just as they all used to wear it back then, and she’s smiling. Her eyes look bright, they both look so happy.
He hands me another. Tristan is in the photograph with them, he’s in the middle with his arms wrapped around each of them. They are all smiling, they all look so happy. He looks younger though, maybe in his teens?
“When was this taken?” I ask softly.
“It was my 21st.” He tells me, his eyes darkening. “I wish I’d have met you while they were still alive, they’d have loved you so much. I know they would,” he says his voice breaking as he does, making my heart ache for him, I wish I could take his pain away.
“Tristan,” I whisper putting my arm around his back and resting my head on his shoulder. I sit staring at the photos, when suddenly inspiration hits.“Can I borrow these?” I ask.
Tristan frowns at my request. He doesn’t seem to want to let them go, which is understandable.
“Not now,” I add,handing them back.
“Sure,” he says and places them back in his wallet.
“You look like your Grandfather,” I tell him cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood. “And your Grandmother was so pretty, I can see why your Grandfather fell for her,” I add.
Tristan smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. I feel nervous again, so I take a sip of my brandy.It warms and burns me, as it slowly makes it way to my stomach. I’m starting to feel a little drunk, my head is slightly spinning - This is strong stuff.
I gaze at Tristan who is staring blankly ahead at the fire, no doubt thinking about his folks. I try to understand what that would have felt like, to lose your parents at such a young age, even more so, to lose parents that loved and cherished you, took care of you.
I want to take his pain away, to make him feel better. I move carefully and slide over him, so I’m straddling him.
He looks up at me in confusion.“Coral, what are you’ - “I’m sorry,” I whisper, placing my hands on his cheeks. I lean down and kiss him softly. “It’s not fair,” I add. Tristan doesn’t say anything, he just gazes up at me. “I’m guessing you miss them, so much,” I add.
“Yes, I do,” he sighs, so I kiss him again, trying to take away his pain, but a flame ignites within me. I want to take this further, so I don’t stop.
I kiss him more passionately forcing his lips apart, finding his tongue as a slight moan escapes me.Tristan seems very hesitant,then finally I hear a deep groan of longing reverberate from deep within him, his lips press harder against mine, and his breathing picks up.
He wraps his arms around me and crushes me hard against him, sending shivers all over my body.We roll onto the floor, Tristan on top of me, the length of his body stretched out on top of mine. I feel his erection hard and heavy against my belly, only this time, I don’t freak out…oh I want him…so badly.
I force my hands into his hair, pulling his lips harder against mine, then I wrap my legs around him, using my heels to push his backside, his erection deeper into me. I want to feel him inside me.
Tristan suddenly freezes.“Stop!” He shouts, staring down at me with dark eyes. He sits up, pulling me with him so I’m straddling him again.
We stare at each other, almost nose to nose, both panting heavily.
“Did I do something wrong?” I ask.
“No.” He shakes his head. “I just....” He runs a hand through his hair then gazes at me for a moment. Without a word, he strokes my cheek, his face looks torn,like he doesn’t know what to say or do.
“What is it?” I ask placing my hand against his as it rests on my cheek.
“You freaked out earlier, then you left me,” he says darkly. “I don't know why, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything you’re not ready to do’ – I place my finger against his lips to silence him.
“I was ready then,” I tell him,but he still looks concerned.
“I can't take that chance,” he says, shaking his head.
“Take what chance?” I squeak.
“You, leaving me again,” he breathes.
“But’– “Coral, I’m not going to do anything until you’re ready to tell me.” He says his voice firm, his dark chocolate eyes seeing straight through me.
I sigh heavily.“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
Tristan shakes his head at me.Great!
So he’s not going to have sex with me unless I tell him why I freaked out earlier. I shake my head in annoyance. I don’t want to tell him, but I want him, and I want it to stop. I want to stop freaking out about it.
“You’re not going to like it,” I tremble, pulling my gaze away from his.
“I want to know,” he tells me softly. “You can tell me anything baby.”
“You’re going to regret you said that,” I choke out nervously.
“Am I?” he says, gripping my face in his hands so I have to look at him. His face is contorted as though he’s in pain. “Tell me,” he orders.
And just like that all my defenses fall down and I blurt it out. “I was raped,” I whisper.
Tristan’s eyes narrow for a moment then widen with shock. In a flash, he is up on his feet glaring down at me. His jaw is set, his teeth grinding together, and his hands are clenched into fists; the tendons and veins in his forearms sticking up in response. His breathing is heavy, eyes dilated, almost black. He looks really, really, angry – Shit!
I can’t let this come between us – I can't lose him because of this.
“Tristan,” I be
g holding my hand out to him. “Please don’t let this change how you feel about me, I’m begging you.” He silently holds up his forefinger in response, so I stop talking and wait.
Once his breathing has calmed down, he finally speaks to me.“Give me a minute,” he says and storms off to the downstairs bathroom – Fuck what have I done, I knew this would happen.
I grip my head in my hands and start to rock myself. The angry tears are back, I fight against them, but they silently fall against my cheeks. Now I’m really pissed – It seemed like the right thing to do, George said I should tell him, and if we had ended up staying together, I know I would have eventually told him – Fuck, what have I done?
Strong arms envelope me from behind – I snap my head up just as Tristan crushes meto him, so hard in fact I have to tell him.
“Tristan...c-can't....b-b-breath.....” He relaxes his grip a little, but still says nothing. My heart slowly relaxes, he came back, I haven’t lost him – Well, at least I don’t think I have?
“Tristan,” I whisper, turning around and gripping onto his vest, crushing myself harder against him. “Please...say something.”
He doesn’t respond with words. He just crushes me harder against him, his arms wrapped tightly around me, and starts rocking me back and forth, staring blankly into the fire.
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I croak.
He freezes, then glares down at me.“What? What kind of thing is that to say?” he asks in astonishment.
“I...I just don’t want it to change how you feel for me?” I squeak out.
“Well it has!” He answers sharply, gripping me tighter.
I wrap my arm around his neck, caressing the hair at the nape of his neck.“Please come back to me,” I whisper kissing his ear, his sideburn, his cheek.
Tristan looks down at the floor, then back at the fire, contemplating his response.
Finally, he glares back at me. “I want to know who. I want to know when. I want to know everything. His name, what he looked like, everything...you will tell me,” he says, his voice low and menacing.
My breathe catches in my throat – Does Tristan have a dark side?
“I’ –“Coral!” Tristan shakes his head so subtlety than it sends a shiver of fear running down my spine.
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 44