“Oh Tristan.” I start sniffling again and rest my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arm around his waist to comfort him.
“That’s why I keep getting this nagging feeling like I...I just wish I could bring my folks back, just for one moment, so they could see how happy you make me.” He says, resting his head on mine.
“Tristan,” I croak. “Me too, I would have loved to have met them.” I add, looking up at him.
He leans forward and softly kisses me. “I know baby. Now how about a coffee?”
“Yes please,” I grin like a fool. Did I ever have a chance at avoiding him?I don't think I did, and I'm glad, look at us now...so happy. Pretty messed up, but very happy.
“Here baby,” Tristan passes me a mug, and I take a welcome sip.
“So can I ask you something?” I whisper.
“Anything,” he says.
“When I looked you up online and found images of you, well this is two questions really,” I say biting my lip, wondering which to ask first.
“Go on baby, don't be shy,” he softly says, stirring his coffee.
“Ok, well, why so many blondes?” I ask, biting my bottom lip again with nerves.
“Blondes?” He questions, his one eyebrow quirking up.
“Yeah, you always seemed to have a Blonde on your arm?” I whisper.
“Did I?”
“Yes.”
Tristan shrugs. “Couldn’t say, maybe there’s more blondes than brunettes working in law?”
“Maybe,” I whisper.
“And your other question?” he asks.
“Well...you’ve kind of answered it actually,” I say, feeling shy for some reason.
“I have?”
“Yes.”
“And are you going to tell me?” he asks, smiling at me, teasing me.Oh screw it!
“Ok...well I can remember thinking you looked...well I thought you looked miserable and moody – but now I know why,” I add dryly.
“Miserable and moody?” He titters, his head cocked to the side.
“Well, you weren’t smiling in any of the photos, you looked...” I stop and take a sip of coffee. Are we really having this conversation?
“Go on,” he chuckles.
I sigh inwardly. “Unhappy...you looked like you wanted to be anywhere but where you were when the photos were taken.” I blurt out.
“That’s a keen observation Miss Stevens,” he teases.I smile shyly at him.“But you’re right, I wasn’t a happy chap,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee and staring out at the view.
“And what about having a P.A in every office? It’s pretty unusual Tristan, most bosses only have one?”
“True, but my P.A’s aren’t just my P.A’s,” he says.
I frown at him, my heart sinking to the pit of my stomach.“What do you mean?” I say a little breathlessly.
Tristan turns the full glare of his unhappy face on me.“Coral, when are you going to get it into your head that I don't sleep around! And even if I did, it would never be with a member of staff,” he barks.I start to grin. He rolls his eyes at me. “Yes...well, except you,” he says in frustration.
“So what do you mean?” I ask tentatively.
“My P.A’s are my eyes and ears of the company. They tell me when cases are won, lost, who’s performing, who isn’t. They are not interested in anything but the company, no office gossip, no late night partying, they are serving as me when I'm not there. You see, if you had stayed my darling, technically it would have been you running the company – if I was out of office,” he adds. Holy Crap!
“Well I'm glad it’s not me,” I scoff.
“Why not?” He asks lightly.
I laugh sarcastically at him. “Isn’t it obvious?”
Tristan frowns at me. “Not to me, but I'm sure whatever ludicrous thing you’re about to say will prove me wrong,” he says, sighing heavily.
“Well, no one likes me Tristan. I don't talk to anyone. I avoid the male solicitors like the plague, and as for the other secretaries...well, I know they bitch about me behind my back...but I can't blame them. I'm weird...a freaky fuck up.”
“Will you please stop referring to yourself that way!” He snaps, glaring at me.
“Ok!” I squeak. Jeez, keep your pants on!
“Seriously Coral, you have got to stop it,” he adds, running his hand through his hair. “So you’re not very sociable, so what? Lots of other people are like that, but I doubt they walk around calling themselves a freak!”
“Ok, Tristan. I get your point, calm down.” He shakes his head several times and takes a sip of coffee, right at that moment Edith comes over to us.
“Come on you two, brunch is ready. Where would you like to sit?”
“Coral?” Tristan asks, still frowning at me.
“I don't mind,” I mumble.
“The table please Edith,” Tristan says,taking another sip of his coffee. I watch silently as Edith sets up the table for us, then walks over to the stairs.
“Stuart!” She shouts at the top of her voice. “Breakfast!”I hear his footsteps come barrelling down the stairs. “You’re over there dear,” Edith says pointing to the breakfast bar. Stuart pats his taught stomach in appreciation, winks at me and takes a seat.
Tristan helps me to my feet, and I hobble over to the table. He helps me into the seat, and brings our coffee’s over. My stomach grumbles in appreciation, the smell of bacon and eggs is making me feel ravenous!
“There you go,” Edith says placing our meals down.Oh my god!
“Wow, thank you Edith,” I say looking up at her in total appreciation, Tristan kisses her on the cheek before taking his seat, she smiles warmly at him.
“You’re very welcome, now tuck in...I don't want to see a scrap left on those plates!” I swallow hard. Is she serious? I can't eat all this!
I look down at my plate. I have two sausages, two bacon, egg in fried bread with an extra egg on the side, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, black pudding (yuck!) and what I think is bubble and squeak, then Edith comes over with a rack of toast and places some butter and jam beside it, then walks back into the kitchen.
Ok, I think I'm going to burst just looking at it!
“Is she serious?” I whisper to Tristan with wide eyes. He’s already eating, typical!
“Just eat what you can,” he firmly tells me – He’s still mad about what I said, great!
I sigh heavily. “Ok,” I whisper and pick up my knife and fork.
About ten minutes into the meal, I take my final bite. I’m done, I can't eat anymore. Tristan is still sat next to me, patiently waiting for me.
I feel so sleepy now, I can barely keep my eyes open.
“Had enough?” Tristan asks.
I nod sleepily to him.
“Ok baby.” He stands, lifts me into his arms and carries me over to the sofa. Then he sits down, with me on his lap, and I instantly fall asleep, cradled in the safety of his warm arms...
TRISTAN GENTLY WAKES ME FROM MY SNOOZE. But I still feel so sleepy, so I keep my eyes closed. I can hear his music is still playing, I recognise the song. David Gray’s This Years Love – Such a melancholy track, I wonder if this is how Tristan feels?
“Hey.” Tristan says, stroking my cheek. “The nurse is here baby.”I force my eyes open. A young woman, maybe my age is standing in front of me in a pale blue uniform.
“Hi Coral, I'm Theresa, but everyone calls me Terry,” she says, smiling at me.
“Hi.” I close my eyes again. “Just do what you need to do,” I softly add.
“Alright Coral.” Taking my right hand, she taps it several times. “This will sting a little, we’re not going to give you an I.V drip, we’re just going to place this catheter in your hand and every four hours you’ll be given an injection for the pain, we will start weaning you off it though, so it should be out in a week’s time,” she says.
“Ok,” I whisper, barely feeling the needle, but I do feel the pain relief.
“Coral?” She s
ays sounding worried, I feel Tristan stiffen beneath me. She taps my cheek, so I open my eyes. She starts checking me, my eyes, my glands.
“I'm ok,” I whisper. “Just really tired.”
“I know you are, but I just want to make sure. You’ve gone very pale.”
“Have I?” I murmur.
“Have you had much to drink today Coral?” she asks shining a light in my eyes.
“Yes,” I whisper.“She’s had plenty,” Tristan adds.
“Good, you need to keep your fluid intake up. Lots of water, ok?”
“Ok,” I answer groggily.
“Alright then, I’ll be back in a few hours,” she says.
“Ok. Bye Terry.” And I drift...
I WAKE UP IN OUR BED. Tristan is lying beside me, fully dressed and softly sleeping. I wonder what time it is?Tristan still has his player on, but for once it’s a song I don’t recognise. I hear a soft tap on the door, and then it’s opened slightly.
“Hello?” Edith calls in a soft voice.
“It’s ok,” I whisper. “Come in.” Edith carefully opens the door and tip-toes over to me with a tray in her hand – Please don't be food!
“Here you are lass,” she whispers, placing the tray on the bedside table next to me. There’s two large glasses of water, a pot of tea with milk and sugar and a plate of chocolate biscuits - I think they’re hobnobs?
“Thank you Edith, that’s very kind of you,” I whisper.
“Nonsense,” she says patting my hand. “It’s what I do.” I smile up at her, pick up a glass of water and take several glugs. Mmm so refreshing!
Tristan stirs next to me, Edith smiles at me and tip-toes back out of the room, giving me a cheeky wave as she does. I really, really like her; and boy I could get used to this!
“Thirsty!” I hear Tristan croak.I go to lean across so I can pass him some water. “Coral, stop!”
I instantly freeze.“What?” I gasp, looking across at him.
“I’ll get it,” he says, leaning over me – Honestly!
“Tristan, you can't do that! I thought my stitches had split or something!” I scold.
“Oh,” he says, looking a little guilty. “Sorry baby, but stretching like that and you’re stitches will split.” He sighs heavily. “Coral, imagine you are strapped to that hospital bed, you wouldn’t be able to move much would you?”
“Well no, but’ – “Ah ah,” he says, wagging his finger at me. “You need to act like that baby, you’re still healing on the inside. One sudden movement could rip everything open again, which means another operation and more time in hospital.”
“Oh.” I frown. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”
“Well, will you now, for me?” he asks. His puppy dog eyes are back – How can I resist?
I lean down slowly and peck him softly on the lips. “For you, baby I’ll do anything,” I say. Tristan smiles his shy smile. “Who’s this?” I ask.
“The music?” I nod. “Hoobastank, The Reason.” He answers.
“It’s good,” I say as I nod away to the beat.
“Yes, it is,” he says finishing off his water, then he looks across at the tray. “Is that tea and biscuits?” He says, his eyes wide with glee.
“Um...yeah?” I chuckle.
“Brilliant!” He says, sliding over me so he can stuff a chocolate biscuit in his mouth. He rolls his eyes in ecstasy.
“Nice?” I giggle.
“Mmm,” he chews, laughing as he does. “So good,” he says picking another up. “Want one baby?”
“No,” I chuckle. “I'm still stuffed from that breakfast.”Tristan smiles and starts to pour us both teas.“Why are you so happy you’ve got biscuits?” I ask. His face falls – Shit!
He finishes pouring the tea, then sits next to me.“I told you baby, my folks were poor, really poor. I never got any treats, certainly not biscuits...and I love chocolate hobnobs,” he adds, taking another bite. Ah so they are hobnobs!
“Did you get...you know, regular meals?” I whisper.
“Christ Coral, they weren’t starving me!” He barks.
“I'm sorry, I'm just trying to understand,” I say, staring at the water in my glass.
Tristan sighs. “Coral, I had three square meals a day, and always a small supper before bedtime – which is more than you ever had.” He adds, softly stroking my cheek.
“I know,” I say.
His mood shifts again, his eyes going dark. “Finish your water baby. Would you like some tea?” he says in a low, demanding voice.What is his problem? – I look down at my half finished glass, glug the rest back then pass it to him.
“No, no thanks,” I say and turn on my side, facing away from him.
Tristan’s been really snappy since we got back, and I'm trying to work out why. I know what I did could have got me killed, but how many times do I need to explain that I would do anything for him, anything to save him.
“Coral, please drink your tea.” He softly asks.
“No,” I murmur.
“Coral, what’s wrong?” He sighs.
“You...being grumpy with me and I don't know why?” I croak.
“Actually, I'm fucking furious with you but now is not the time,” he says.
“What?” I tremble, slowly sitting up to face him. “Why?” I breathe.
“Coral.” He warns.
“No now Tristan!” I snap.
“Fine!”
“Fine!”
We glare at one another, two angry fools, neither one of us backing down.
“Trust!” He growls, his jaw clenching together.
“Trust?” I bark back.
“Yes, if you had one-inkling of trust for me you would have told me what was going on while I was away.” He shouts, then continues. “You would have told me about your late night stalker, about Susannah’s behaviour, about her threatening you and her crazy, warped idea about me – Christ Coral we could have avoided all of this, all of it!” He shouts, bouncing to his feet. He starts pacing the room, running his hands through his hair in frustration, then he stops and glares down at me.
“I could have taken you away. We could have gone somewhere... anywhere! And I would have known you were safe, out of harm’s way. But you didn’t trust me, you didn’t even try to tell me any of it. I keep trying to rationalise your reasons for dealing with it the way you did but...” Tristan shakes his head, clenches his jaw, crosses his arms and stares out the window.
Holy crap! I'm gobsmacked, speechless!
“We don't have a chance in hell if you don't tell me what’s going on, regardless of my reaction,” he adds, his voice low, monotonous.
“Tristan,” I squeak, my eyes glistening over.
He glances down at me. “Don't turn on the water works,” he hisses.
“Do you want me to go?” I sniff.
“No!” He bellows and runs his hands through his hair.
“So you’re just mad at me because I didn’t tell you what was going on?” I question, because my instinct is telling me there’s more to this.
“Christ Coral, what do you need, a big neon fucking sign?”He shouts, his arms splayed out to emphasise his point. He’s more angry than I have ever seen him, and I have no idea how to deal with it. I want to run away from him, as would be my usual response to any kind of confrontation, but I doubt I’ll even get to the door before he stops me.
“Go away!” I shout.
“What?” He bellows, shocked and puzzled.
“Go away, get out! You’re upsetting me, and I don't want to be around you when you’re like this – Go Tristan, get the fuck out!” I shout.
He glares down at me. His fists clenched at his side, his cheeks flushed and his eyes dark.
“Go downstairs and kick the shit out of your punch bag!” I spit.
“Are you seriously kicking me out?” He hisses.
“Yes, what do you need Tristan, a big neon fucking sign?” I bellow, my eyes wild, my temper getting the best of me. It stings like buggery t
o shout his words back at him, but I don't need this right now!
“Coral,” he says, his hand held out, his face full of apology.
“No.” I turn away from him. “I'm serious Tristan, get out. I need to be on my own right now.”
“For the love of god!” He hisses and marches out of the room, mumbling to himself as he does.Well that’s just fucking marvellous!
I lie back on the bed and wince – Shit!Can't lie on my back.I turn on my side and stare out at the view, steam coming out of my ears, but then the dam breaks and I weep uncontrollably into my pillow...
CHAPTER NINE
AFTER HALF AN HOUR OF CONSTANT TEARS,I decide enough is enough. I get up slowly, my shoulder throbbing, and head into the bathroom to clean up my face. I think I need to do something, hanging around feeling sorry for myself is not helping. I stare back at myself in the mirror – Christ, what a mess!
My eyes are red and puffy, my cheeks shallow, and I realise it’s still there, that inner-hate – my reflection still bothers me. I quickly look away and grit my teeth. I take a deep steadying breath, take one quick glance at myself and head out the bathroom.
As I stand in the bedroom wondering what to do, I think about going to find Tristan, tell him I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout at him, to speak to him like that, but I can't stand loud voices, arguing, shouting – I had enough of that in my early years.
I realise in that moment that Gladys was the complete opposite. I mean, sure she’d shout at me if I’d done something that upset her, and I did a lot of that in my teens, but in general, she was always calm, always spoke softly to me, and so has Tristan, well up until this point.
Go find him Coral! I nod in agreement with myself. I pick up my e-reader just in-case he doesn’t want to talk to me, and very slowly head down the stairs, literally one step at a time.
The moment I reach the bottom stair I hear it – Eminem’s Love The Way You Lie.
Firstly, I didn’t know Tristan liked Eminem and secondly, he has it playing downstairs and it is so loud up here, god knows how loud it is down there – Jeez! He’ll be deaf if he keeps playing it that loud!
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 97