“I do get along with him, well…sort of. I just want him to treat you right!”
“Oh Rob, he does. He really, really does,” I gush.
“Really? You’re really that happy with him? I mean, yeah what’s not to like right? He’s successful, minted, handsome…well actually a very sexy hunk of a man, but all that means fuck all if you don’t have mutual respect, admiration and love for one another. Do you guys have that?”
I grin like a fool and nod my head. “Yes,” I whisper, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat.
“Hey, there’s no need for tears,” Rob softly says.
“Rob, have you ever seen me cry?” I question.
He frowns up at me. “Um…no actually, I don’t think I have – that’s weird?” He adds.
“Freaky fuck up!” I laugh, tapping my head.
He snorts and rolls his eyes at me. “Oh yeah, you’re a real freak show Coral, what with your perfectly pretty face, figure to die for and you’re awesome personality!”
My mouth pops open. “Did you…did you really just say that?” I choke.
“Coral, you may feel like a freak, but I don’t think you are. I’ve never thought you’re weird or freaky, got issues yes, but most people have. I think you’re beautiful, inside and out. You are one of the nicest, funniest, warm hearted people I have ever met, and I choose my friends carefully – but you already know that,” he adds, smiling up at me.
“Rob!” I squeak, as silent tears begin cascading down my cheeks.“Sorry, Tristan’s turned me into a blubberer,” I add, sniffing loudly.
Rob gets up from the grass, chuckling away to himself, and wraps his arm around my waist. “That’s right, you let it all out sunshine,” he teases, making me giggle-sob. “Howl the whole neighborhood down if you want to,” he sniggers.
Which makes me howl with laughter instead. This is what I love about Rob, he always knows the right thing to say to cheer me up. As I bounce from laughter to tears and back again, I have a sudden epiphany.
Maybe Rob is right and Tristan is generally a serious kind of guy? He’s certainly not a joker like Rob, but maybe that’s what attracted me to him in the first place, his intensity – it really kind of turns me on.
“There, there sunshine,” Rob says, rolling his eyes at me.
“Hey!” I scold, looking up at him. “Enough with the sarcasm,” I bite. His face falls. “Gotcha!” I tease and howl with laughter at his shocked expression.
“Coral!” Rob gasps in disbelief and mock punches my leg.
I try to stop laughing, but I haven’t felt this light in days, so I let it take over. Rob soon joins in, and we both fall back onto the grass in a fit of giggles. In-fact, I’m laughing so hard that my belly is starting to hurt, but I’m loving it. I don’t know how long we are there for, but it feels like a very long time…
“Coral?” I look up and see Tristan walking across the grass to us.
“Rob, you asked if we could hang out, just us?” I quickly say.
“Yes,” Rob whispers back.
“How’s tomorrow?” I giggle.
“Carlos is out for the afternoon, we’ll have the place to ourselves. Come over!”
“Done. I’ll be there,” I quickly whisper back.
Rob helps me sit up, wraps his arm around my waist and gently squeezes. “You do want this don’t you Coral?”
“I want Tristan Rob, forever. Now, let’s get back upstairs so you can show me the dress you found.” I say smiling fondly at my wonderful best friend…
TRISTAN HAS BEEN VERY QUIET TODAY.I can't help wondering why as I wave goodbye to Rob, Carlos and Bob. Shutting the front door, I wander over to him. He’s sat on the sofa, deep in thought as he reads through some sort of paperwork. Reaching him, I hold my hand out to him, he takes hold of it and I sink down next to him.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” I ask.
“I have a function to go to this Friday, I wanted you to come with me, but I don’t think it’s a good idea at the moment,” he says, his brow furrowed.
“A function?” I question.
“Yes, an associate. It’s his 90th birthday, his wife’s organized a surprise birthday party for him.” He says, his tone firm.
“That sounds nice, I’d love to go with you,” I say.
His lips press into a hard line. “Coral, how many times do I have to say, I don’t want you overdoing it.”
“I don’t think sitting at a table, eating food, and drinking wine is overdoing it,” I argue.
“You want to come?” He asks.
“Of course I want to come,” I tell him. “I want to do all those things with you Tristan.”He frowns at me again.“Are you going to tell me what’s really wrong?” I huff.
Tristan stares at me for the longest time – Shit! – Something really is wrong, but I don’t think I’m going to get it out of him, so I decide on a different tactic.
“I found my wedding dress,” I say.It’s a perfect simple design, medieval, a-lined, short sleeved and it covers my battle scar–I fell in love with it the moment I saw it! Plus, it will be here on Friday, unlike so many others where there was at least a four week wait.
Rob wanted me to really glam it up, he wasn’t too impressed with my choice, but as I reminded him, I want this to be an intimate, simple, relaxed day – No big deal!
Tristan smiles at me, but it’s off. Ok, now I’m getting pissed off!
“I know you’re holding something back,” I grate. “It’s written all over your face.” I add, trying to hold my temper in.
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “There’s nothing.”
“Tristan, you made me promise, no secrets. So please…just tell me.” I beg with closed lids.
“No! You’ve been through enough,” he snaps.
My eyes dart open. “And what you have to tell me is really bad? What are you afraid of? You think I’ll finally crack’ – “Coral, for once in your life, just do as I ask!” He shouts – He really doesn’t want me to know.
”Fine!” I snap back.
“Fine!” He grumbles.
“Well…for now anyway,” I huff.
“I have some work to do.” Without looking at me, Tristan stands and stalks towards his office, mumbling to himself as he does – Well that’s just marvellous!
“Coral,” Edith says as she reaches me. “Can I get you anything?” I shake my head, fighting back tears again. “Can I say something?” she whispers. I nod, so she sits down next to me. “He’s just worried,” she softly tells me.
“I know, but that’s no reason to keep snapping at me.” I squeak.
“He’s only doing that because he cares.” I shake my head and stare out the window. “He was never like this with her,” she says. I turn and look at Edith. Her chest is pushed out, her nose in the air. If she were a dragon, I swear she’d be breathing fire through her nostrils right now.
“Who?” I ask, bewildered.
“Olivia.” I blink back at Edith while my brain catches up. Oh shit! Of course, Edith was living with Tristan when Olivia came on the scene.
“Why do you say that?” I whisper.
Edith shakes her head in disapproval. “I always thought he could do better. She always seemed...well, indifferent to him – cold. I never liked her, I know I shouldn’t be saying this to you, it’s not my place. I’m just trying to make you understand, to let you know that he never acted like this with her. I’ve known Tristan longer than you, and well, I’ve never seen him so in love, so protective. You are his true match, his mirror image.” I frown back at Edith. I don't think that’s true.
“You are the same,” she says. “That’s why you fight so much, both stubborn and both capable of a very deep love, whereas Olivia....” Edith shakes her head and purses her lips. “Take, take, take that’s all she ever did, she never deserved him; not a good man like Tristan. I just want you to know this, so you don't worry. He’s being hard on you because he cares so much, because he loves you so very
much.”
“I guess,” I grumble.
“Oh, no guessing needed lass, you are perfectly matched. I’m so glad she’s out of his life, I dread to think what would have become of him if he’d married her.” Edith whispers.
“Edith,” I giggle. “You’re making her sound like the wicked witch of the west.”
“That’s a perfect example of how I used to think of her.” Edith says with pursed lips.
I gasp. “She...she was that bad? I don't understand? Why would Tristan be with somebody like that?”
“Oh she was all sweetness and light to his face, but people always slip up, and eventually their true character is revealed.” She says with a smug smile.
“How do you mean?” I whisper, totally intrigued.
“Well, years ago, Tristan had this really big case on. It was the last day in court, and he was always exhausted when it was all over. Happy of course, because he would always win, but it was long hours, not much sleep and by the time he got home, all he wanted to do was relax with a glass of wine.
“But she, she always got her way, she always got what she wanted; she never took his feelings into account. I don't know how she did it, but she would always convince him, somehow, that she was right – manipulative little b-“ Edith abruptly stops and looks across at me. “Sorry lass, I shouldn’t be telling you any of this.”
“Yes, you should,” I firmly tell her. “Edith I don't think of you as Tristan’s housekeeper. You are so much more than that, and I’d like to think that as we get to know one another, we’ll become great friends. So whatever you do, don't worry about speaking your mind, ok?”
Edith nods and continues. “Well, she organised a party for him. It wasn’t for him of course, it was to advance his career. Everything she did was to get him more money, more status. So instead of coming home to a quiet house, he came home to a house full of guests, a big party going on. Oh, I remember, he was so mad with her, but somehow she managed to turn the tables on him and make him feel guilty.
“I remember feeling so mad at her, they’d had a conversation not two weeks before in which she’d mentioned the party. Tristan made it very clear to her that he didn’t want that, but she went on ahead and did it anyway. Horrible woman!” She adds. Whoa!
My head is spinning. I still don't get why he would be with someone like that, but then again, Justin was a bastard compared to Tristan’s sweet nature.
“Coral, you must not let Tristan know I divulged this information to you.” Edith says, her face a worried picture.
“Of course not Edith, it’ll be our little secret,” I smile.
“Alright then,” she says, patting my hand. “Well I better get on. You look tired lass, why don't you go take a nap?” She suggests.
“Yeah...I think I will,” I say. Nurse Terry has already been this afternoon, so at least I won’t be disturbed.
“Is there anything in particular you would like for tea?” she asks as I get to my feet.
My appetite has disappeared again. I’m tired, drained, pissed off and fed up – Tristan is holding something back from me and it’s killing me that he won't tell me. But worst of all, I hate that we are fighting like this.
“No, I don't mind...whatever,” I say frowning at the floor. “Ask Tristan.” I add despondently as I walk towards the stairs.
“Coral,” Edith calls. I turn and look back at her. “He will come around sweetheart.”
I try to smile at her, but it’s a weak ass attempt. I turn away before I start crying again and head up the stairs.
When I reach our bedroom, I spy the envelope Detective Marsh gave me sitting on the bed.I walk over, pick it up, carefully lie down and rip open the envelope. The key falls out first, I pick it up and twist it round in my fingers.I’ll never live in my studio again!
I shake my head at that thought, then place it on the bedside cabinet.Then I take out the A4 photo of Tristan and I, hold it up in front of me, and stare at the two of us.
“Why won't you tell me?” I say to Tristan’s image, of course I get no answer. I’m talking to a piece of paper!
Shaking my head at myself, I place it next to me on the bed. Then with trembling fingers, I pull out the picture of my family.
“Mom,” I whisper, tracing her smiling face with my fingertips.
Tears pool in my eyes again. Please, no more crying!
I hug the photo to me, keeping it close to my heart, and close my eyes; hoping sleep will come quickly...
I AM DREAMING I AM IN THE FOREST AGAIN, the darkness of the deep green trees surrounding me. I feel lost, like something is missing. I start searching on foot, weaving in and out of the trees. Then suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see my Mother next to one of the smallest trees, it looks like the tree is glowing bright white, not my Mom. I stagger towards it, only when I get there,she’s gone and then the tree disappears.
“Mom?” I call out for her, but I get no reply. I look around me, searching for her, trying to understand why the tree has gone.
“Look.” Her voice whispers from behind me.
I spin around and see she looks like she did before. I know it’s her, but she’s just a strange white light, floating in front of me.
“See...” She says pointing down at the ground.
I turn and look down at the damp, muddy ground, there’s a big hole from where the tree and its roots were.I hesitantly take a step closer to the hole and peek inside. No!
There, lying inside the hole is a baby, a naked newborn baby...
MY FACE IS BEING STROKED, someone is trying to wake me. I try to push the hand away...No, I want to stay in the dream...
“Coral...” Tristan’s voice softly calls.I make no move even though I'm half awake.“Come on darling, wake up. It’s time for tea.” No, no more food!
I groan and go to turn over, but a dull ache in my bladder is waking me – Damn it!
“Ugh...” I open my eyes and see Tristan sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at me. His broody look is still there.“I’m not hungry Tristan,” I tell him as I get to my feet.
“Coral, you need to’ – “Are you going to tell me what you’re keeping from me?” I say staring back at him. I can tell he’s not going to, so I walk towards the bathroom.
“Coral, I think it’s best that’ – I shut the bathroom door on him, effectively blocking him out. If he does not tell me what is going on, like tonight, I am going to stay with Rob and Carlos.He won’t tell me what Detective Marsh meant either, even though I hounded him in the car.
Maybe I need to give him an ultimatum? Yeah, an ultimatum, that’s what I’ll do he’s sure to tell me then!
When I’m done, I look up at my reflection as I wash my hands and nod in agreement with myself. Then the dream comes back to me, I stop washing and turn the water off.What the hell was that all about? I try to figure it out, but nothing comes to mind that makes any sense, so I shrug it off and get back to Tristan.
Right, so I'm going to Rob’s if he doesn’t tell me what’s going on! Then I remember I can't do that, I can't walk out on him, we promised each other we would never do that. Damn it!
I dry my hands, lean forward and stare at my reflection. I look different...I feel different?
Shaking my head at myself, I try to think of what other weapons I have in my arsenal, there must be something I can do or say that will get him to tell me?
Sex? – Yes! He’s always talkative after sex, maybe this is the way?Right then!
I take my time removing my jumper and jeans, being careful with my shoulder. Then I stare at myself in the mirror; all I’m wearing is a set of my new bra and knickers. Dark blue lacy thong and the bra is the same colour, only it has pretty, light blue stitching across each cup. I wonder for a moment if I should try this completely naked?
No, this is more enticing...I think?
Taking a deep breath and summoning up some courage from somewhere, I head back into the bedroom, only when I do, I find Tristan sat on the edge of t
he bed with my old family photo in his hand, completely mesmerised.
“You look like your mother,” he says, transfixed. “But then again, I can see your dad too,” he adds, frowning thoughtfully.
I completely ignore him, walk over and stand in front of him with my hands on my hips, but he doesn’t look up at me. Look at me Tristan! I’m half naked in front of you for Christ’s sake, look up!
“Edith has made us a bread and butter pudding,” he absently says, still staring at the photo.
My stomach grumbles in appreciation – No! Be quiet!
“Are you purposely ignoring me?” he asks, keeping his eyes fixed on the photo. I stay silent. Tell me what you know! I say over, and over in my head, willing him to tell me.
“I take it you are,” he says. “That’s very immature of you,” he adds, his brows creasing together. Hmm, this isn’t working?
“Actually, I’m trying to coax you into having sex with me,” I huff, my foot starts tapping.
“I’m well aware of that,” he says, finally looking up at me with those big, round chocolate eyes of his – Damn it, this isn’t working!
Plan B.
In a vain attempt to seduce him, I run my fingers through his hair. “Do you have any idea how much I missed having you to myself today?” I question – Because I have missed him, big time, even though I’m mad with him!
He slowly shakes his head. His eyes are dark and dilated; his look heated.
I lean down and gently kiss him. “I missed you so badly it hurt,” I whisper against his lips.
“That badly?” He teases. I nod once. Then being brave, I straddle him and grind myself against his growing erection. I want him badly. I have missed the feel of him buried deep inside me.
“Coral, No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“We could argue about this all day, but it’s not happening,” he tells me firmly.
“Why not?” I frown.He stays silent, so I reach down and cup his erection in my hand – Oh it’s been so long...Tristan steadies my hand, looks up at me and stares back for the longest time.
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 106