I stop, gripping my hands into fists and turn to glare at him. “I need some space Tristan, I’m going down to the beach to watch the sunset, and to try and calm down!” I bite.
“Ok,” he says. Standing awkwardly, and placing his hands in his jean pockets, he stares down at the floor. “Stuart’s taking you?” he asks. I know he’s checking.
“Yes.” I turn away from him, head upstairs and get changed into my jeans...
WHEN I GET BACK IT’S LATE, PAST TEN O’CLOCK. I wanted to watch the sky change from sunset to black night with sparkly stars, and I feel better for it.I’m not angry anymore; in fact I’m not anything – I have come back feeling numb.Maybe, it’s another hormone that’s out of whack or something? Or maybe the truth about the fact that I can have children, that I was with child...and lost it, has finally caught up with me.
Tristan is nowhere to be seen when I head down the hallway. The house is quiet and dark, except for the low lights that are on in the kitchen.
“Coral?” Stuart says, walking in behind me.
“Thanks Stuart,” I say. I’m sure he got bored standing around guarding me.
“You’re welcome,” he says, hovering from one foot to the other. What is he waiting for?
“You can retire if you want to.” I say.
He looks relieved. “Thank you. Goodnight Coral.”
I plaster a fake smile on my face. “Night Stuart.”He nods at me and heads upstairs to his room.
I really feel like a glass of wine, but I know I shouldn’t, then I spy a bottle the bottle of red that was opened by Rob, it’s still sitting on the breakfast table.I walk over to it and pick it up, then I turn and catch my reflection in the ceiling height windows.
Placing the wine back down, I shuffle over, stand right in front of it, and take a deep breath.I slowly pull up my long-sleeved t-shirt and run my hand over my flat stomach, trying to image what it would feel like to see my belly grow and protrude, wondering what it would feel like to have life growing inside me.I look up at myself, keeping my hand on my belly, and the enormity of it hits me again.
I had Tristan’s child inside me, my child, our child, my flesh, his flesh...I close my eyes and try to imagine what the child would have looked like. Would he have had brown hair like his parents? Would he have had beautiful big brown eyes like his father, or cool, aqua blue eyes like me? Would his cheeks have flushed like Tristan’s, or been plain like mine? And his temperament – Would he be have been firey like me, or cool, calm and kind like Tristan, or maybe a mixture of us both?
Cool fingers splay out across my hand that is still resting on my belly. Tristan!
I can smell his scent, feel the warmth of his body behind me. I take a step back so I can feel the length of his body against mine, and rest the back of my head against his chest. I feel warm, safe, cherished...
“I missed you,” he whispers – I take a deep breath in – his scent overpowers me again.
“And I you,” I whisper back, keeping my eyes closed.
“What are you thinking?” he asks, his breath warm against my cheek.
“I was thinking about what Junior would be like, what he would look like, more you or me, or a mixture?” I whisper.
“Junior?” He croaks sexily.
“Uh-huh...” I swallow hard and try not to cry.
“A boy?” he softly says, his hand pressing firmer on my belly.
“Yeah...I just...I don't know why, I just thought – him?” I softly say.
“Him?” Tristan reiterates.
“Yeah...” I sigh.
“Baby, I’m so sorry.” I open my eyes and stare at our reflections, meeting Tristan’s gaze.
“Don't Tristan, it’s done it’s in the past. I’m not mad with you anymore,” I say.
“You’re not?” I shake my head. “I’m glad you’re home,” he softly adds, kissing my cheek, then he goes to move.
“Don't move,” I plead, staring up at him with wide eyes.
Because I like this image, I like seeing us reflected like this, his hand on my belly. It’s making me realise how much of a wonderful father he will make, and how much of a wonderful man he is, and that he’ll make an exceptional husband, one that will truly care if we have a child.
I imagine him being very doting and caring through the pregnancy, and just as involved afterwards – and it’s in that moment that I realise how completely and utterly in love I am with him, and that losing our baby, even though I didn’t know I was pregnant, has made me realise I do want that.
I want to have a child with him one day. I want to give that to him. I want him to feel safe, secure, loved and cherished. I want him to have a family again...he deserves that, more than anything else.
“I am completely and utterly in love with you, do you know that?” I say.
He smiles his shy smile at me. “Even though I screwed up, big time?” he asks.
“Even more when you screw up,” I say. “I know why you didn’t tell me earlier,” I add.
“You do?” he says, looking guilty again.
“Yes. It’s because you love me so much, you didn’t want to pile that on top of everything else that’s gone on, I understand your reasons.” I whisper.
He nods, closes his eyes and slowly wraps his other arm around my chest, pulling me tighter against him, neither one of us have moved our hands from my belly.
“One day Tristan, I’m going to give you what I think you truly need, and what I think I need, a family. I promise you that. I just want you to myself for a while first.”
“Coral,” he breathes, squeezing me tighter. He sounds like he’s fighting tears again.
“Are you happy with that? I ask.
“Very,” he whispers.
“Good, I’m exhausted baby. Let’s go to bed.”
“Do you want anything?” he asks.
“Just some water please.” Tristan kisses the top of my head, slowly turns me around, gets to his knees and gently kisses my belly several times.Then he looks up at me with those, big, round eyes of his.
“One day,” he says, gently kissing me there once more.
Oh! My heart melts!
Getting to his feet, he leans in, softly kisses me on the lips then heads off to the kitchen to get us some water. My, my, he always seems to surprise me with how sweet he is, how loving and caring. As I look up, he winks at me as he pours two large glasses of water, making my heart jump into my throat....Yeah...my sexy man...
Desire spikes hot and heavy in my belly. I suddenly feel wide-awake as blood pounds through my veins, heating my skin, making my heart pound a frantic tattoo against my chest. I can feel my lips swelling as I stare at Tristan, I’m aching for his kiss.
I hadn’t noticed before, but he’s dressed casually in a pair of dark blue jeans, and a light blue baggy shirt with the top three buttons open, tantalising me with his sexy chest, and his feet are bare...He looks so fucking sexy right now!
I dash over to the kitchen, slam him up against the fridge door, and kiss him hard. Tristan instantly reciprocates as my tongue does a sexy salsa with his. I push the full length of my body against his, as my fingers frantically tryto undo the buttons on his shirt. Tristan hands are everywhere, all over my body, then I hear him moan a low sexy sound, making my sex feel like it’s on fire.
“I want you,” I pant, pulling back to tackle the button and zip on his jeans.
“The feelings mutual,” He growls as a low, sexy moan reverberates from deep in his throat. As he continues to kiss me, his hands skim over my backside, squeezing tight. It turns me on so much to know he wants me like this. He’s just as hungry for me as I am for him...despite our...disagreements...
Tristan moans again. “I want to take you so badly,” he grunts, kissing me hard again.
“Here, now!” I pant, kissing him back.
Tristan pulls back, my face in his hands. “You missed Nurse Terry,” he says. “Aren’t you in pain?”Yes, but I don't care!
“No.” I kiss him aga
in, a low moan resonating from deep within me.
“Wait,” he says pulling back again. I frown up at him. “I’m not saying no.” He quickly placates, seeing the look on my face. “I just want you to take the painkillers she left, and I want to take you upstairs so I can lay you down, where you’ll be comfortable, where I can make love to you.”
“I don't want to make love Tristan. I want to fuck – now!”
He smiles a slow, sexy smile. “Do you now,” he says, his thumb skimming over my swollen lips, my lips part, then taking myself by surprise, I take his thumb in my mouth and suck, hard.
Tristan’s eyes widen in response, then I gently bite down on the pad. His lips part and his breathing kicks up a few more notches.
“Turn around,” he says and there’s a sexy, sensual, promise in the way he’s said it.I slowly turn, and he gently picks me up by the waist and moves us so we’re stood in front of the breakfast bar; our reflections clear in the windows in front of us, then he places both of my hands down so they rest on the breakfast bar.
“Don't move those hands,” he warns.
My body tingles from head to toe with sexual promise. He moves my hair out of the way and starts to plant soft, wet kisses from my earlobe, all the way down my neck, and across my shoulder.
“You want me to fuck you?” he whispers in my ear, making me gasp. Jeez! – His voice is so low and sexy, I feel a strange tingling sensation start at the top of my head and work its way right down to my toes.
“Answer me,” he says in his husky voice.
“Yes,” I whisper. He starts to skim his hands across my stomach, up and over my breasts, my nipples are straining against the material of my bra.
“Tristan,” I moan; my eyes closing automatically, my head craning back.
“This is going to be quick,” he whispers huskily in my ear. “Just as you want, then I’m going to take you upstairs and make love to you,” he adds, breathing hard in my ear.
I want to touch him, to feel him.
His hands disappear, and taking me by surprise he cups my sex and starts rubbing between my legs, the material of my jeans hitting the exact right spot.
“Ahh...” I moan loudly, the feeling is exquisite. Then he pops the button open on my jeans and slowly slides the zip down. Then his hands are inside the material, skimming across my backside, squeezing gently.“Tristan...please,” I beg. In one swift movement, he has my jeans and knickers down at my knees, I gasp and my eyes burst open.
“Don't move,” he warns again as I hear his zip being pulled down on his jeans.
Placing a condom on the breakfast bar, he shoves his jeans and boxers down, rips open the condom, sheaths himself, then he presses his body hard against mine.I can feel his erection pressing hard against my backside, his strong chest against my back, the heat of his body searing my skin.
“Yes,” I moan; my body trembling for his touch.
His hands skim across my breasts again, then his one hand heads north, skimming across my collarbone, gently pulling my neck to the side, giving his lips access. He leans down and trails kisses up and down my neck, his teeth skimming my skin – Fuck, I'm going to come!
His other hand heads south, softly moving across my torso down to my belly, then finally reaching my sex.The moment his fingers find my clitoris, my breath catches and I quiver from head to toe.
“Do you have any idea how utterly breathtaking you are,” he says in his husky, sexy voice.
“Tristan....” I whisper. I want to feel him in me – now!
His lips, tongue, and teeth brush against my neck reflecting what his fingers are doing down below. Touching, rubbing, so many sensations...then I feel two of his fingers gently slide inside me.
“Ah....Tristan,” I moan; my head craned back. I can't take it anymore.
“I want to make sure your ready,” he whispers, gently biting my earlobe.
“I am,” I pant.
My lips part, as he continues his sensual assault. His fingers moving in and out, his thumb teasing my clitoris.
“Please...” I beg. Fuck me Tristan!
And just as though he can read my mind, he pulls his fingers from inside me, leans back, centres his erection at my opening and in one smooth jolt, he’s inside me. Filling me right up, all of him...oh I feel so full...His one hand grips my hip, the other returns to my clitoris gently teasing.
“Yes!” I hiss.
“I don't want to hurt you,” he says, gently pulling out and pushing into me again.
“You won’t,” I moan. “Let go Tristan.” I say, my eyes squeezed shut.
I need this, after all our fighting, everything that’s happened...I just want him, always.He growls a low, sexy sound then really starts to pound into me – Holy fuck!
Pain shoots across my shoulder blade and through my right lung, while everything south of my naval contracts in ecstasy, what a strange sensation, pleasure and pain all rolled into one!
“Ahh...” I cry out.Tristan stills.“Don't stop,” I pant. “Please...”He starts to move again, cautiously pounding into me. Everything quickens and I tighten up around his erection. Yes...oh it’s so good this way, so deep...
“Jesus,” he hisses, gaining speed.
“Come with me,” I cry out. Oh, I’m so close...
“Coral,” he moans, his breathing ragged.
I feel so tight, he feels so big inside me, I can feel him...everywhere. He moves slightly again, hitting that sweet spot inside me, just as his fingers circle faster, bringing my clitoris to a sweet crescendo, and all in one I come, climaxing hard.A double whammy, the most explosive orgasm that I’ve had so far.
“Coral!” he cries out, then stills and we collapse onto the breakfast bar...
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I AM LYING IN POST-COITAL BLISS, spread out across Tristan’s chest, feeling replete, happy, on top of the world. After our sexy fucking in the kitchen, we headed upstairs, and I reluctantly took the tablets Nurse Terry left, then Tristan made sweet, slow love to me.
I shiver slightly, and huddle closer to him. Tristan instantly picks up on it.
“You’re cold, and that’s because you didn’t eat much for tea tonight.” He scolds. “I’m going to run you a bath,” he adds, and before I can stop him, he’s up on his feet and stalking into the bathroom. I curl up, pulling the covers over me and start to drift...
“Coral?” Tristan calls. Hmm, too tired to move...The next thing I know the cover is pulled off me and I’m up in his arms again. “Come on sleepy, bath, then bed.”
Tristan gently lowers my feet into the bath, and holds both my hands while I carefully sink down into the water. Ben Howard is singing in the background, I know the song – Only Love.
It’s makes me smile that Tristan has this playing. He sinks in opposite me, then takes my right foot and starts to massage. Hmm, so nice...I close my eyes and softly sing along with Ben.
“What are we going to do tomorrow morning?” Tristan asks, interrupting my warbling.
I sigh inwardly. “I guess I should unpack my stuff,” I say, thinking about my studio and all my belongings downstairs – It still feels weird that it’s happened, that I’ll never live there again, it all seems to have happened so fast.
“No overexerting yourself,” Tristan softly scolds.
I roll my eyes and smile, then frown.“Tristan, I want to collect my mother’s ashes so we can organise her grave, will you call them for me?”
“Of course I will darling.” He softly says.
“Thanks.” I'm so glad he’s doing that for me, I don't think I could have handled it right now. I try to think of something else, get my mind off it.“We didn’t choose any rings today. I guess we should do that tomorrow?” I say.
“Yes, we should or Rob will be barking his orders at us,” Tristan sniggers.
“I know,” I giggle.
“Can I ask you something?” He says.
“Anything,” I whisper.
“Earlier, when the detective told yo
u her name, you looked...upset?” He doesn’t miss a thing!
“Annie was my Moms name Tristan.” I tell him, trying not to think about it.
“Oh...” He smiles, then frowns.
“It’s a nice name,” I add.
“Yeah, it is,” he softly says. “Can I ask you another question?”
“Yes,” I giggle.
Tristan leans down and kisses the pad on each of my toes. “You took Bob outside today, what did you talk to him about?”
“Oh...um, well...I told him about Susannah, what had happened to her, and that I might be dropping the charges.”
“Might be? Have you changed your mind?” He questions with his head cocked to the side.
“No...I won't make my decision until I’ve seen her.”Tristan sighs heavily.“Bob said he doesn’t mind what I do, and that he doesn’t really want to be dragged into court, he just wants to move on.” I add.
“Hmm, well I guess that’s his decision,” Tristan says.
“Yes, it is.” I know Tristan doesn’t like this, but there’s not much he can do about it.
“And what about Rob? You were both gone a long time.” He cautiously asks.
I sigh inwardly. Do I tell Tristan the truth, or do I lie?
I take a deep breath and look directly at him. “I was talking to him about you.”
“Me?” His fingers still on my feet.
“Yes, and please don't stop, it’s so nice – Here, I’ll show you.” I pick up his right foot and start to massage.
He smiles at me and nods. “You’re right, that is nice.” His fingers kneed deeper into my foot. “So...what about me Coral? I know he doesn’t like me,” he adds.
“You’re wrong!” I tell him firmly. “Look, I know you and Rob didn’t have a good start, but he’s just worried that’s all.”
“Worried about what?” Tristan questions, his cheeks flaming slightly.
“That you’re treating me right.” I softly say.
Tristan’s head cocks to the side. “Am I treating you right?” he asks.
“Of course you are!” I gasp. “Tristan, how could you think that? Rob’s just worried because you come across as a pretty serious guy, you know – Intense. He just wants to know that, well his words were, ‘we should have mutual respect, admiration and love for one another’. I told him we do have that and that you are wonderful to me. He didn’t look convinced...so I told him all about me.” I end on a whisper – I can't quite believe Rob knows.
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 109