Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him

by Clair Delaney

  “Well if you do, and you meet the bastard again, we can do something about what he did’ – “Hey, I know you’re mad about what he did, but’ – “Mad?” He chokes incredulously.

  I sigh inwardly. I need to get off this subject “I’m hungry,” I whisper, going to move.

  “Coral wait, while you were down here with George, I was thinking an idea over, I even mentioned it to Rob, he thought I was ‘bang on’ and that we should just do it.”

  “Do what?” I question, my eyes wide.

  “Go away for a break, just me and you, somewhere quiet and tranquil. Just for a few days so you can get away from all of this, so you can rest up and recuperate. What do you think?” Tristan asks.

  I smile and then titter.Freaky, that’s what I think!

  “What?” Tristan says, his lips twitching.

  I shake my head. “I was just thinking the same, that I just want to get away...from everything. I seriously felt like my head was going to explode earlier, too much in one go I guess, and Tristan’ – “Yes?”

  “I'm still in so much pain. I’ve been hiding it from you because I hate feeling helpless. It’s who I am and how I handle things. But my body is telling me off, telling me I need to just stop fighting it and let go.”

  His eyes close and he pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration.“I knew you shouldn’t have come out of hospital yet,” he hisses.

  “Oh, no...no, no! You’re wrong there and right. Tristan I was right to come out, hospitals freak me out, but I should have just had bed rest when we got back. I'm sorry, acting like I'm ok is something I’m very good at,” I sheepishly admit.

  He nods once, his jaw tense. “Yes, I'm starting to realise that, how good you really are at it. You were not ok yesterday were you?” He asks, almost shouting.

  I guiltily shake my head at him.

  He sighs heavily. “Coral, why’ – “I just wanted us to have a nice day! We both seemed so much happier, more relaxed. I didn’t want anything to spoil it, I'm sorry ok!” I squeak in a high pitched tone.

  Tristan sighs heavily again, his eyes closing for a moment.

  “I really like the sound of going away,” I add, trying to placate him.

  “You do?” He whispers.

  “Yes, I really do.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

  “Where are we going to go?” I say excitedly.

  “Devon, Cornwall, somewhere remote.I’ll see if we can get somewhere that looks out on a beach, so we can watch the sunsets. I’ll cook so you can just relax’ – “But’ – “Coral, I want to look after you baby – don't interrupt me,” he scolds, seeing me about to, then continues. “I don't feel as though I'm doing a very good job of it so far. So just let me do what I want to do!” He tells me in his authoritative voice.

  “Ok.” I squeak.

  Tristan finally smiles. “I think it sounds great, just us. What say you?”

  “Really?” I squeak. “Just us?”

  Tristan laughs at my happy, excited face. “Yes, baby, just us.”

  “Won’t you get bored?”

  “Bored?” He chokes. “Why on earth would you think I’ll get bored? I'm never bored when I'm with you.”

  “Never a dull moment with me around,” I mumble dryly.

  “That’s not how I meant it,” he scolds.

  “Oh...I know you didn’t, I meant it for me, you know taking the piss out of myself,” I say half smiling – Hmm, just me and Tristan – Holy crap! Just me and Tristan, the possibilities are endless!

  I can't help giggling with excitement.“I'm so excited,” I say, almost bouncing in his lap. Then I remember something. “What about the function this Friday?”

  “It’s not important baby.” He tells me firmly.

  “But I think we should go!” I argue.

  “Coral’ – “Where is it Tristan?” I interrupt.

  He sighs heavily. “London.”

  “That wouldn’t be so bad, we could’ – “Coral. Please don't argue with me about this,” he says, sounding weary.

  “You’re sure you don't want to go?” I ask.

  “Yes, positive.” Tristan says; he still looks worried.So I’ll keep it on the back burner for now. If I feel well enough by Friday, I think we should definitely go!

  “Do you think we’ll get somewhere? It’s still holiday season; I bet most of the places will be booked up.” I say, trying to change the subject.

  “O ye off little faith.” Tristan whispers, leaning down to kiss me.

  “You think we’ll get somewhere?” I question.

  “Baby, I know we’ll get somewhere.”He says in a thoroughly determined voice. Then Tristan smiles at me, takes my hand with the catheter in it and stares at it; his beautiful smile quickly turns into another frown.

  “I'm ok,” I whisper.

  He cocks one eyebrow up at me. I look away feeling guilty. “If you lie to me again about how you’re feeling, I swear to god Coral – I will not be responsible for my actions!” He snaps, almost shouting.

  I nod once at him, biting my lip.

  “Right, let’s get upstairs then. We need to pack, and I need to call Terry; we’re going to need a good amount of pain killers to take with us.” Ugh...tablets!

  Tristan smiles at my pouting face, and keeping me in his arms he walks us back into the house...

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  I’M OUTSIDE ON THE SUN LOUNGER, waiting for Tristan to come out of his office. We are all packed up and ready to go. It feels very surreal. I can't believe that in only a few hours time, I’ll be on holiday, away from Brighton, I never been away from Brighton before.

  I want to call myself a freak, but for the first time ever, I stop myself.

  Tristan has called Dr Green to let her know I won’t be there on Friday for my check-up, she has sent Nurse Terry over with a big bag of painkillers – Yuck! – But at least the catheter is now out of my hand, it feels sore and is bruised slightly, but I'm sure it will heal quickly. He also called George and Gladys, who promised to tell Debs. I don't want her worrying with everything she has going on – I can't help wondering if they’ve come to a decision yet, whether they are staying or leaving?

  And earlier, I spoke to Rob. Who is panicking because of the wedding coming up, but agrees it’s what I need, to get away – I feel guilty leaving my best friend like this – but I need this, I know I really do, and Rob did tell me not to worry, that I haven’t upset him, or let him down – He knows me so well!

  There’s still a lot to sort out here, my mother’s burial, speaking to Susannah; and I need to find a job – but for now, I am not going to worry. I am going to relax; give my body and my mind what it needs; what it’s desperate for – some serious R-n-R!

  “Hey baby,” Tristan says bounding over to me. “Do you have a passport?”

  “A passport?” I laugh.

  “Yep.”

  “I thought you said Devon or Cornwall?”

  “I did.” He smiles, shrugging his shoulders.

  “We’re flying?” I balk.

  “Yes.” Tristan cocks his head to the side. “You’ve never been on a plane before?”

  I swallow hard and shake my head at him.

  “Ah baby,” he coos, kneeling down in front of me. “Look, this is what I’ve found. They had a cancelation.” Tristan passes me several pieces of printed A4 paper. “I’ve booked it, and booked the flights; Heathrow to Newquay. It would have taken us five hours plus to get there by car, but flying will only take a couple of hours.”

  I look down at the paperwork. At the top it says ‘Porth Beach Villa Retreat’ He’s rented a villa? Of course he has! I want to roll my eyes, we couldn’t have just rented a cottage, of course not, this is Tristan we are talking about!

  I giggle at my own sarcasm and look at the images. Hmm, it looks fabulous.

  Very modern, two bed villa, set back so it looks directly over the sea and a beautiful white sandy beach, and it’s surrounded by Cornwall’s rocky coas
t. It’s breathtaking. I look down and read the description.

  ‘Porth is a quiet, stunning bay perfectly situated between livelier Newquay and up-market Watergate Bay; with Jamie Oliver’s restaurant Fifteen, and numerous other sandy beaches close by. The villa is located in a quiet location, and is furnished in a contemporary, but comfortable style; offering modern facilities all within a stones throw of the beach. Porth beach is a quiet and sheltered beach with rock pools and a freshwater stream at low tide. Enjoy a stroll to Lusty Glaze beach with it’s adventure sports, just 500m away, or stroll along the coastal path to Watergate Bay or Newquay. Only 3 miles from Newquay Airport, and less than a mile to Newquay Train station.’

  I look up at Tristan and smile. “Wow!” Is all I can say. I'm giddy with excitement, it’s so beautiful. In fact it’s making me re-think this place – I miss being so close to the water.

  “You like it?” He asks.

  “I love it Tristan.”

  “Good. Well we better get going or we’re going to miss our flights.”

  “But I don't have a passport ?” I squeak.

  “You don't need one baby, not to fly inland; you just need some I.D. Have you got a driving licence?” He asks, smirking at me.

  “Yes.” I narrow my eyes at him – What is he laughing at?

  “That will do.” He chuckles to himself.

  “What?” I can't help smiling back.

  Tristan laughs, shaking his head slightly. “Just remembering you having a hissy fit when you realised I was going to buy you a car, that’s all.” Hmm, two can play that game!

  I cross my arms and pout. “Well, I have to say I was a little disappointed I didn’t get an F-Type for my birthday,” I gripe petulantly.

  Tristan’s mouth pops open. “You...you wanted one?” He gasps in disbelief – I want to laugh, and I feel guilty for winding him up, but it’s just too good an opportunity to miss, so I slowly nod my head, looking forlorn. “You’re serious?” He chokes.

  I look up at him and make my bottom lip quiver.

  “I knew I should have got you one!” He says, castigating himself; he looks really mad. Trying not to laugh, I hold my hands out to him; he gently pulls me to my feet.

  “So you thought I was funny when I said no to you buying me a car?” I ask makingTristan sigh. I can't stand it anymore – A smile starts to creep across my face, then I start to giggle, making Tristan frown even harder at me.

  “What?” He asks.

  “Just getting you back...” I chuckle. “You know...for thinking it was funny...I didn’t really want a car for my birthday Tristan.” I say, trying so hard to stop the laughter.

  He lets out a long breath and narrows his eyes at me; they darken fractionally, and suddenly, he’s looking really intense as he stares back at me – Oh shit!

  “I should put you over my knee for that.” He bites.

  I inhale sharply, all humour gone. “Excuse me?” I whisper, my eyes wide.

  As we stand staring at one another, something...something passes between us that I can't quite put my finger on...

  “Let’s get going.” He says, ignoring me. “Or we’ll miss our flight.” He opens his hand out to me, in a daze, I place my hand in his and we head out to the car...

  STUART HAS DRIVEN US TO HEATHROW AIRPORT. It has only taken an hour and a half to get here. I am so excited to be flying, and I'm confident I’ll enjoy it because I have Tristan by my side. We have checked our luggage; so we locate a bar while we wait for our flight. Tristan is hungry again – I have butterflies racing around my stomach, so I don't want to eat anything, just in-case. As Tristan peruses the menu, I sit back, watching the people around me. Some look stressed and are dashing about, other’s look relaxed, like I feel; and I wonder if they are flying off on holiday too?

  I turn and beam at Tristan. “Baby, aren’t you going to eat something?” He asks.

  “No.” Tristan pulls a face. “I don't want to just in-case I get sick on the flight. I’ll eat when we land, ok?”

  Tristan smiles at me. “Ok,” he says taking my hand in his – the one that had the catheter in it – and gently kisses me where the needle was. He is so sweet!

  A male waiter comes over and asks us if we want to order. Tristan asks for a Chicken salad sandwich and half a lager, then stops and frowns at me. “I don't mind Tristan. If you want a beer then have one, you deserve it.” He smiles his enigmatic smile at me and nods to the waiter, who quickly scurries off.

  “You really don't mind?” He says, squeezing my hand.

  “No, I don't; not at all. Tristan, I’ve not exactly made this easy on you, and if I could, I would join you. But I can't, because I'm being good.” I say, smiling sweetly at him.

  “Yes, you are,” he says.

  “Tristan, why didn’t we just drive?” I ask, because I'm curious.

  “Five hours of bumping up and down in a car?” He says, shaking his head at me. “I didn’t want you to go through that baby, I'm more worried about you than I'm letting on. At least this way, we’ll be there in no time at all, which means we can both start relaxing.”

  I swallow hard. He really does care!

  “How often do they fly from here to Newquay?” I ask.

  “It changes.” Tristan answers, then narrows his eyes at me. “Why?” Damn it! I hate being this easy to read.

  “Ok, just hear me out,” I say, staring back at his wide eyes. “Please?” I add in a whiny voice.

  Tristan sighs. “Alright, fire away!” he says, waving his hand at me.

  “If, I feel better by Friday, and because it will be easy to do, I think we should go to your function,’ Tristan goes to interrupt, so I hold my finger up at him. “Only if I’m better. I won't lie to you Tristan. If I don't feel well enough we won't go, but if I do because we’ve relaxed for a few days, then I think we should.”

  “Why are you so eager to go?” He questions.

  “Because when you told me about it, you had this look in your eye. You like this old guy, whoever he is. I know you want to go.” I say with one eyebrow arched.

  He cocks his head to the side, his eyes still narrowed. “You caught that huh?”

  “Yep. Which makes me think that even if I don't feel well enough, you should go anyway.”

  His eyes darken, his face going pale. “Absolutely not! I am not leaving you alone. And don't even think about arguing that point, it’s not happening Coral!”

  Well that told me!

  “Ok, you’re not going on your own, but if I feel well enough’ – “We’ll fly that evening, stay in a hotel and fly back Saturday morning,” he says, not looking too pleased.

  “Why a hotel? Can't we stay at your place in London?”

  “No.” He says, shaking his head.

  “You don't want me to see it?” I question.

  Tristan sighs, leans forward and takes my hand in his. “Coral...I’ve already rented it out, besides, there’s too many memories there. My folks...Olivia. It’s part of my past and I want to move on,” he says, swallowing hard.

  “Ok.” I say, leaning forward to kiss him and run my hands through his hair. The waiter arrives with his food and beer, Tristan thanks him and starts munching his sandwich. Even though I won't get to see his old place, I can't help smiling.

  “What are you smiling about?” He asks between mouthfuls.

  “I just...I think it’ll be fun to go to the function-that’s all!” I say, feeling triumphant. Tristan’s lips twitch, I know he’s trying not to smile. “Go on,” I tease.

  “Go on what?” He growls.

  “Smile,” I say grinning broadly at him.

  He sighs heavily, puts down his sandwich, and looks up at me, his face is still serious. His lips twitch as he continues to stare broodingly at me, I continue to giggle.

  He shakes his head at me, then grins a wide, happy smile. ‘Frustrating woman’ he mouths at me, then returns to his food....

  HALF AN HOUR LATER OUR FLIGHT IS CALLED. The butterflies in my stomach
multiply a thousand fold. I swallow hard and try not to get too nervous.

  “Hey, flying is cool baby.” Tristan says, beaming widely at me. “You have nothing to worry about, ok?”

  “Ok,” I squeak. I take his outstretched hand and we walk over to the terminal. Only I'm surprised when we don't go down one of those tunnels; like I’ve seen them do in films – Instead, we are ushered outside onto the tarmac where there’s a small plane waiting – It’s not a big jet like I was expecting, and says Flybe across the side of it – I try not to panic.

  “Hey,” Tristan turns me to face him, and softly runs his knuckle against my cheek. “You know these are the safest kind of planes to fly in, right?”

  “They are?” I squeak, looking back at it – It has propellers for god’s sake!

  “Yes,” Tristan chuckles. “This is a Bombardier Dash 8 Q400 Propeller Plane.” How does he know that?

  “And how does that make it safer than other planes?” I breathe.

  “Because it has propellers,” he says, smiling sweetly at me.

  “And that makes a difference because....?”

  “When the engines fail in a jet, it’s a dead stick in the sky. With propellers, the pilot can guide the plane down and safely land.”

  “Oh!” I whisper.

  “And this has both, so we’ll be safe,” he adds, really smiling at me now. I can't help laughing nervously. “Come on, the sooner we are on, the sooner you will see that there’s nothing to fear.” Tristan claps my hand in his, and we follow the crowd of people.

  I hesitate slightly when it’s our turn to take the small steps leading up into the plane. Tristan squeezes my hand, making me feel safe, then gestures for me to go first. I take a deep breath and walk up the steps, stopping when I step inside and see the air-hostess.

  “Good afternoon. Welcome to flight 462 heading to Newquay.” A very pretty brunette says, then she gets an eye full of Tristan walking in behind me, she instantly looks flustered – Great!

  Tristan passes our tickets to her. “Good afternoon...Mr Freeman, Miss Stevens. You’re right down the end, seats 15a and 15b.” She rips off the stubs and hands our tickets back to Tristan.