Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him

by Clair Delaney

  “You know I did a lot of thinking last night. And you’re right, if we can't talk to one another, be open and honest with one another without it turning into a fight, then we don’t have a chance in hell at working out. I needed you last night, and you let me down, completely! I know what I did was wrong, that I should have told you I was going to see...” I shake my head, I can't say her name. “But I would have thought that after she did...what she did, it would have made the fact that I didn’t tell you about it insignificant! I watched her die Tristan! And where were you?”

  I get to my feet and start pacing. I can't believe I’m angry again, but I am, and I know I’m right. He’s got to learn, well we both have, but he’s got to learn that he can't do that to me, no matter how mad he is.

  “Coral...did you...do you want me...to leave?” He can barely speak, he’s breathing like he’s been running up a hill and looks completely beside himself.

  I walk back over and sink down in front of him. “Tristan, I love you. But you have got to learn that you just can't say stuff like that to me, whether you mean it or not. And if you ever walk out on me again, we’re through.” I say, my voice firm.

  He inhales sharply and locks eyes with me. “I am serious,” I say with one eyebrow arched.

  “I know, I can see that,” he says, swallowing hard again. “I promise you I won't,” he adds, his eyes screaming sincerity.

  “Good. Just...if you feel mad just...walk into another room! Don't walk out the house and then come back at god knows what time, leaving me hanging without even so much as a call or a text.” I say shaking my head at him.

  “Coral, I won't’ – I hold my hand up to silence him. “The worst part, is that I thought you knew me, I thought you knew that...that you just,” I take a deep breath. “That you can't say things like that and not expect me to believe you Tristan! I thought that’s at least one thing you really did know about me.” I bite.

  “I do know that,” he whispers.

  “Then why Tristan? I mean, I get you have this need to protect me, and I love that side of you. I just don't understand your reaction?” Tristan winces at my words. I swear there’s something...something he’s still keeping from me. Something that’s playing on his mind. Ever since we found out about Simon and Kane he’s been acting a little off, only slightly. Just every now and then I catch him drifting off.

  “What?” I snap.

  He frowns and shakes his head. “Nothing, I just...I just lost it and I’m sorry. And you’re right, part of it is because I want to protect you, but not just physically. I want to protect you emotionally and mentally too. I think your heart and mind have been through enough. I will do anything to ease that burden. I just wish you’d have told me yesterday and I’d have gone with you, then if Susannah had still...Point is, I would have been able to protect you from that, but I couldn’t because you didn’t tell me.”

  We both sigh heavily, which makes me want to smile. I have to try so hard not to show it.

  “You can't protect me from everything Tristan,” I whisper.

  “I know,” he murmurs looking down at the grass. “Doesn’t mean I’m not going to try,” he adds sardonically – We are going round in circles.

  “I guess...we still have a lot to learn,” I say.

  “Yes, we do,” he says looking up at me with those big puppy dog eyes.

  “You better be a good husband Mr Freeman.” I say. I am teasing, but he doesn’t know that yet, because I’m keeping my face deadpan.

  He inhales sharply. “You...you still want to’ – “Tristan, we had a fight, well not so much a fight as you shouting and walking out, but I think we’ve resolved some issues because of it. And even though I wavered, and really did think for a moment that you were not the man for me, I soon changed my mind.” I look down at him.

  “Coral, I’m so sorry I didn’t call or text you. I did go to, loads of times, but each time I did, I changed my mind. I knew you’d be mad, really mad, so mad in fact that I didn’t expect you to be here when I got back. I thought you’d head over to Rob’s.”

  “I nearly did,” I say.

  “I’m so glad you didn’t,” he says, taking both my hands in his. “I really hope you can forgive me, because the thought of not being with you...I can't even put into words.”

  We just gaze at one another. I’m not sure I can forgive him yet, I still feel pissed at him. Tristan breaks eye contact and stares down at the grass, looking very sorry for himself.

  I sigh inwardly. I don't like seeing him in pain. “Ask me again,” I say.

  He looks up at me. “Am I forgiven?” He asks, his eyes wide with trepidation.

  “Kind of,” I say, finally smiling at him.

  Tristan smiles his shy smile. “I would really like to kiss you Miss Stevens,” he says. “May I?” He adds.

  “Be my guest,” I whisper.

  He takes my face in his hands, and just hovers there for a moment, millimetres from my lips, then he leans in and kisses me passionately, his tongue lapping against mine, turning me on, big time!

  He moans and gasps, then grabs me by the waist and pulls me down off the lounger so I’m straddling him. I kiss him back with every inch of passion, love and desire I have for this man, my hands gripping his hair, my breath coming in sharp gusts.

  Mmm...He tastes of toothpaste and Tristan, and the way he’s kissing me is making me question...Are we about to have sex outside?We are rudely interrupted by whoops and cheers coming from the upstairs balcony, I bury my head in Tristan’s neck, feeling embarrassed.

  “Get back to work Rob!” Tristan shouts but I can tell he’s smiling.

  The he cups me under the chin, making me look up at him, takes my face in his hands again, and kisses me for what feels like an eternity. We get a bit overheated, our hands all over each other, the kiss intensifying, only this time there is no interruption.

  When he pulls back, we are both breathless, and I can feel his erection digging into me, he wants me – and the feeling is mutual!

  “Thank you for looking after me last night, I didn’t deserve it,” he says, his face morose.

  “Are you kidding!” I squeak. “Tristan, no matter how mad I was with you, I would never want to see any harm come to you. I think...well, people should always look after each other like that, you know get the drunk one safely to bed.” I smile shyly and laugh at myself.

  “I agree baby, and I will always, always get your drunken ass safely to bed.” He chuckles.

  “Tristan Freeman! How dare you say such things!” I retort, laughing along with him.

  He smiles up at me, then his serious expression returns. “How are you feeling today darling? You know,...I mean about what happened with....” He can't say it, and I don't want to talk about it either. It was a shockingly horrible thing to witness, and I can't do anything about it, so I need to put it behind me, like everything else.

  “I’ll tell you what. I’ll make you a deal?” I say, feeling as though I’ve just hitched a ride to cloud nine – We are still together, so all is well in the world.

  “A deal?” He smirks.

  “Yes.” I smile a ridiculously happy smile.

  “I’m all ears.” He teases. His hands playfully squeezing my butt cheeks.

  “Well, I think we are both sorry?” I question, Tristan nods. “So the deal is we don't talk about it, what happened I mean. We put it behind us as a lesson learned, and enjoy today, after all this is our last day as singletons!” I giggle.

  Tristan rolls his eyes at me. “We are not singletons!”

  “We’re not married yet either!” I snort. “So do we have a deal?” Then I remember. “Actually, before you say deal, and this isn’t me thinking the worst, I’m just curious...where did you go when you left Joyce’s?” I ask light heartedly – He was so drunk, I wonder if he’s hung-over?

  “How do you know I went to see her?” He asks, surprised.

  “You told me,” I giggle. “And she came by today,” I add.

/>   “Joyce was here?” He says, surprised again.

  “Yeah...” I look down at his chest. “I was in a bit of a mess, I stayed up all night watching you sleep, running things over in my head. I’d missed her call that was telling me that Gladys was mad at me and on her way over’ – “Gladys has been here too?” He interrupts.

  “Yes.” I say, not wanting to remember why.

  “Why?” He questions.

  God damn it! I don’t want to think or talk about it.

  I sigh heavily. “It’s already in The Argus Tristan,” I say, frowning deeply.

  “What is baby?” He softly asks, gently tucking my hair behind my ear.

  “Susannah’s...” I can't say it.

  “Already?” He chokes eyes wide.

  “Yeah...Gladys read it, she was pretty mad I was there. Anyway, long story short, Joyce came over, we talked, and she said you left hers after midnight.”

  “I did?” He says, gazing down at the grass. Trying to remember I guess?

  “Do you even remember where you went?” I giggle.

  “I seem to recollect some bar, I think there was a nightclub on the lower level?”

  “You were so drunk!” I giggle.

  “Yeah...I’m sorry about that,” he says, looking a little embarrassed.

  “Don't be,” I laugh. “Tristan you were adorable! I’ll take drunk Tristan over mad Tristan anytime, which reminds me – Are you hung-over? Does your head hurt baby?” I ask, stroking his cheek, his hair.

  He pushes his bottom lip out and nods his head.

  “You are?” I squeak, feeling sorry for him. I mean, I know hang-over’s are self inflicted, but still, I always want comforting when I feel like that, maybe Tristan does too.

  “Ahh, poor baby.” I pull him to me, cradle his head against my chest, and wrap my arms around him. “What can I do? Do you want a drink, something to eat, some more pain killers? – Tell me!”

  “Oh Coral...” Tristan breathes, squeezing me tight.

  “Tell me,” I push.

  He pulls back and looks up at me. “Well, as your asking. I would like some food, and some tablets, and some sex,” he says in a sweet boyish voice.

  “Very cute Mr Freeman,” I giggle. “In that order?”

  “No, not necessarily.” His sexy grin is back, his dimples deep.

  “Can I tell you a secret?” I whisper.

  “Please do,” he says, his voice low and husky.

  “I’m always really horny when I’m hung-over,” I admit.

  “Me too,” Tristan says, leaning in and kissing my neck. I’m still wearing my baggy pyjama bottoms and vest top that I got changed into last night. Just thin scraps of material, easily removed.

  “Have you ever done it outside?” I ask.

  “No actually I haven’t. Is that what you want to do Coral?” He mumbles against my skin.

  I pull his head back and grip his hair. “Yes, now fiancé.”

  “We can't,” he croaks, his wide eyes dark.

  “Why not?” I moan. “That part of the garden is completely concealed,” I add, gesturing to it with my chin.

  “I haven’t got any condoms with me,” he explains.

  “We don't need them,” I chortle.

  “You want to try for’ – “You remember last Thursday, I went off for an hour...said I was getting a surprise organised for us?” I interrupt.

  “Yeah...?” Tristan is hesitant, and looks worried.

  “Surprise!” I squeal, holding my arms out. “This is my kind of...well, wedding present to you, that’s not a gift, because I am going to get you’ – “You’ve lost me?” He interrupts.

  “Oh right! Well, when I decided that I wanted to go on the pill, I called the family planning clinic in Newquay, spoke to a lovely nurse, she said she could only give me a month’s supply and that we’d still have to use condoms for seven days. And well, the seven days are up baby. So, are you going to have outdoor sex with me or not?” I challenge, staring at his very kissable lips.

  “You’ve gone on the pill?” He questions.

  “Yes.” I smile.

  “Why?” he breathes.

  “Because I wanted to do that for you, for us. And I really don't like condoms, they kind of, take the spontaneity out of sex, don't you think?”

  Tristan grins wickedly at me and pulls my lips down to meet his.

  “Is that a yes,” I mumble against his lips.

  “Oh baby...of course it’s a yes, wrap your legs around me,” he softly says, so I do.

  Tristan stands, and keeping his hands firmly planted on my backside, we head over to the dark, secluded part of the garden...

  CARLOS IS RIGHT!MAKING UP SEX IS VERY GRATIFYING – After our little bit of fun in the garden, we ate lunch, had sex again, then took a shower together – with a very sexy break in-between washing each other’s hair – then Tristan took me shopping. Of course, he didn’t just by me a couple of skirts, he bought me ten skirts, all different styles and colours, and five fitted dresses, all work clothes. Then he took me into the lingerie department. Boy my man has kinky tastes!

  And now, it’s early evening, and Tristan and I are curled up on the large outdoor sofa. When we got back from shopping, Rob made us come down through the garage instead of the house as he didn’t want the surprise ruined, I couldn’t help laughing and rolling my eyes at him.

  I have decided to stay here tonight, I want to sleep in our bed, our bed that has Tristan’s scent all over it, I know it will help calm me – It’s going to feel very strange not having him next to me. I’m hoping I’ll be out for the count the moment my head hits the pillow, I feel so tired now I’ve sat still for a while, and I’m trying not to be melancholy about tonight, but I can't help it – I don't want him to go.

  Rob, Carlos and I are sipping Rum Daiquiri’s (Rob’s idea!) apparently we’re having Chinese tonight – I doubt I’ll eat much, my stomach keeps flipping over every time I think about what’s going on tomorrow.

  Rob has informed me that Will and his wife Natalie, won't be coming to the wedding tomorrow, which I’m a little sad about – Tristan seemed pleased though – and neither will Harry and Sophia, apparently they have some family thing going on. However, we did pop into the office before we came back, and Joe will be here tomorrow with her kids. It will be nice to finally meet them. I’m so glad they’re all together again.

  I look up at Tristan and sigh inwardly. Joyce will be here soon to collect him. I hate that he is leaving me, today of all days, after our fight last night, and our sexy making up, I just don't want to let him go.

  “Come on Coral, another!” Rob chuckles – I think he’s already drunk – How did that happen?

  “No! I’m not getting pissed Rob!” He pulls a face. I can tell Tristan isn’t too pleased he’s said that either, besides, the last thing I want on my wedding day is to have a hang-over.

  “Suit yourself!” He teases and I watch him pour two more for him and Carlos.

  I finish mine off and curl myself around Tristan. He pulls me closer to him and kisses the top of my head. Hmm, he smells divine, freshly showered, aftershave and Tristan’s potent scent all mixed into one – His mobile buzzes in his pocket, making my heart sink.

  “Joyce is here,” Tristan whispers. No, you can't go!

  “Why don't you ask her if she would like to join us for a cocktail before you go,” I say.

  “Good idea.” Tristan kisses my head again and makes the call. I think he’s just as reluctant to leave me as I am to see him leaving. “She’s on her way down,” he adds, squeezing me tight.

  I sit up and pour a cocktail for Joyce. “Yay! I knew you’d come round!” Rob chuckles.

  “It’s for Joyce!” I tell him firmly. Then I put the glass down and walk over to Rob, grabbing him by the arm, I yank him out of hearing range. “Rob, are you purposely trying to wind Tristan up?” I hiss.

  “No!” he titters. “But he is pretty easy to rile,” he snorts, then really starts laughing. Oh boy
! This is going to be a long night, I can tell, and all I want is to curl up in bed.

  “Ok, look Rob, I love that you and Carlos are here, and I promise you we will have a good time tonight, but I’m not getting drunk ok! It’s my wedding day tomorrow, you know what I’m like when I’m hung-over. Christ, I’ll have to make the registrar marry us in bed!” I say dryly.

  Rob snorts with laughter. “You’re so right Coral, you cannot handle hang-over’s – Joyce!” he bellows, running over to hug her. Yep, Rob is definitely pissed!

  Part of me wants to join him, but it’s so not worth it. I will definitely need a clear head tomorrow. I take a deep breath and smile at Carlos, who rolls his eyes, then winks at me. I shake my head in laughter and head back over to Tristan...

  Ten minutes later, Tristan and I are in the cinema room saying our goodbyes, well more like there’s a lot of lip synchronisation going on!

  “I hate this,” I murmur against his lips, crushing his body closer to mine.

  “So do I,” he says, resting his forehead against mine. I open my eyes, stare at his perfect lips for a moment, then look up, only to find he has his eyes open and he’s gazing down at me as though he’s the lucky one, not the other way around – How ludicrous!

  “I miss you already,” he murmurs, staring down at my lips.

  “This sucks, big time! Why did I agree to this?” I say, gritting my teeth.

  “I know you may not think it now, but try to imagine how you’re going to feel tomorrow,” he softly placates.

  “Like I want to run down the aisle at a hundred miles an hour, leaving Bob in a cloud of dust!” I answer dryly.

  Tristan chuckles at my little rant. “I think it will make it feel more...powerful, more profound,” he says.

  “You do?” I look up at his wide eyes, they are soft and glowing with love.

  “Yes, I won't have touched you in so long. Not stroked your cheek, or held your hand, or kissed these very, very kissable lips.” His lips swoop down, his tongue gently lapping against mine, but it quickly develops into something else.