Works of W. W. Jacobs

by Jacobs, W. W.

  The dishes clattered a little on his arm as he helped the captain, but the latter, after an impressive pause and a vain attempt to catch the eye of Mr. Wilks, which was intent upon things afar off, took up the spoon and helped himself. From the unwonted silence of Miss Nugent in the presence of anything unusual it was clear to him that the whole thing had been carefully arranged. He ate in silence, and a resolution to kick Mr. Wilks off the premises vanished before the comfort, to say nothing of the dignity, afforded by his presence. Mr. Wilks, somewhat reassured, favoured Miss Nugent with a wink to which, although she had devoted much time in trying to acquire the art, she endeavoured in vain to respond.

  It was on the day following this that Jack Nugent, at his sister’s instigation, made an attempt to avenge the family honour. Miss Nugent, although she treated him with scant courtesy herself, had a touching faith in his prowess, a faith partly due to her brother occasionally showing her his bicep muscles in moments of exaltation.

  “There’s that horrid Jem Hardy,” she said, suddenly, as they walked along the road.

  “So it is,” said Master Nugent, but without any display of enthusiasm.

  “Halloa, Jack,” shouted Master Hardy across the road.

  “The suspense became painful.”

  “Halloa,” responded the other.

  “He’s going to fight you,” shrilled Miss Nugent, who thought these amenities ill-timed; “he said so.”

  Master Hardy crossed the road. “What for?” he demanded, with surprise.

  “Because you’re a nasty, horrid boy,” replied Miss Nugent, drawing herself up.

  “Oh,” said Master Hardy, blankly.

  The two gentlemen stood regarding each other with uneasy grins; the lady stood by in breathless expectation. The suspense became painful.

  “Who are you staring at?” demanded Master Nugent, at last.

  “You,” replied the other; “who are you staring at?”

  “You,” said Master Nugent, defiantly.

  There was a long interval, both gentlemen experiencing some difficulty in working up sufficient heat for the engagement.

  “You hit me and see what you’ll get,” said Master Hardy, at length.

  “You hit me,” said the other.

  “Cowardy, cowardy custard,” chanted the well-bred Miss Nugent, “ate his mother’s mustard. Cowardy, cowardy cus—”

  “Why don’t you send that kid home?” demanded Master Hardy, eyeing the fair songstress with strong disfavour.

  “You leave my sister alone,” said the other, giving him a light tap on the shoulder. “There’s your coward’s blow.”

  Master Hardy made a ceremonious return. “There’s yours,” he said. “Let’s go behind the church.”

  His foe assented, and they proceeded in grave silence to a piece of grass screened by trees, which stood between the church and the beach. Here they removed their coats and rolled up their shirt-sleeves. Things look different out of doors, and to Miss Nugent the arms of both gentlemen seemed somewhat stick-like in their proportions.

  The preliminaries were awful, both combatants prancing round each other with their faces just peering above their bent right arms, while their trusty lefts dealt vicious blows at the air. Miss Nugent turned pale and caught her breath at each blow, then she suddenly reddened with wrath as James Philip Hardy, having paid his tribute to science, began to hammer John Augustus Nugent about the face in a most painful and workmanlike fashion.

  She hid her face for a moment, and when she looked again Jack was on the ground, and Master Hardy just rising from his prostrate body. Then Jack rose slowly and, crossing over to her, borrowed her handkerchief and applied it with great tenderness to his nose.

  “Does it hurt, Jack?” she inquired, anxiously. “No,” growled her brother.

  He threw down the handkerchief and turned to his opponent again; Miss Nugent, who was careful about her property, stooped to recover it, and immediately found herself involved in a twisting tangle of legs, from which she escaped by a miracle to see Master Hardy cuddling her brother round the neck with one hand and punching him as hard and as fast as he could with the other. The unfairness of it maddened her, and the next moment Master Hardy’s head was drawn forcibly backwards by the hair. The pain was so excruciating that he released his victim at once, and Miss Nugent, emitting a series of terrified yelps, dashed off in the direction of home, her hair bobbing up and down on her shoulders, and her small black legs in an ecstasy of motion.

  Master Hardy, with no very well-defined ideas of what he was going to do if he caught her, started in pursuit. His scalp was still smarting and his eyes watering with the pain as he pounded behind her. Panting wildly she heard him coming closer and closer, and she was just about to give up when, to her joy, she saw her father coming towards them.

  Master Hardy, intent on his quarry, saw him just in time, and, swerving into the road, passed in safety as Miss Nugent flung herself with some violence at her father’s waistcoat and, clinging to him convulsively, fought for breath. It was some time before she could furnish the astonished captain with full details, and she was pleased to find that his indignation led him to ignore the hair-grabbing episode, on which, to do her justice, she touched but lightly.

  That evening, for the first time in his life, Captain Nugent, after some deliberation, called upon his late mate. The old servant who, since Mrs. Hardy’s death the year before, had looked after the house, was out, and Hardy, unaware of the honour intended him, was scandalized by the manner in which his son received the visitor. The door opened, there was an involuntary grunt from Master Hardy, and the next moment he sped along the narrow passage and darted upstairs. His father, after waiting in vain for his return, went to the door himself.

  “Good evening, cap’n,” he said, in surprise.

  Nugent responded gruffly, and followed him into the sitting-room. To an invitation to sit, he responded more gruffly still that he preferred to stand. He then demanded instant and sufficient punishment of Master Hardy for frightening his daughter.

  Even as he spoke he noticed with strong disfavour the change which had taken place in his late first officer. The change which takes place when a man is promoted from that rank to that of master is subtle, but unmistakable — sometimes, as in the present instance, more unmistakable than subtle. Captain Hardy coiled his long, sinewy form in an arm-chair and, eyeing him calmly, lit his pipe before replying.

  “Boys will fight,” he said, briefly.

  “I’m speaking of his running after my daughter,” said Nugent, sternly.

  Hardy’s eyes twinkled. “Young dog,” he said, genially; “at his age, too.”

  Captain Nugent’s face was suffused with wrath at the pleasantry, and he regarded him with a fixed stare. On board the Conqueror there was a witchery in that glance more potent than the spoken word, but in his own parlour the new captain met it calmly.

  “I didn’t come here to listen to your foolery,” said Nugent; “I came to tell you to punish that boy of yours.”

  “And I sha’n’t do it,” replied the other. “I have got something better to do than interfere in children’s quarrels. I haven’t got your spare time, you know.”

  Captain Nugent turned purple. Such language from his late first officer was a revelation to him.

  “I also came to warn you,” he said, furiously, “that I shall take the law into my own hands if you refuse.”

  “Aye, aye,” said Hardy, with careless contempt; “I’ll tell him to keep out of your way. But I should advise you to wait until I have sailed.”

  Captain Nugent, who was moving towards the door, swung round and confronted him savagely.

  “What do you mean?” he demanded.

  “What I say,” retorted Captain Hardy. “I don’t want to indulge Sunwich with the spectacle of two middle-aged ship-masters at fisticuffs, but that’s what’ll happen if you touch my boy. It would probably please the spectators more than it would us.”

  “I’ll cane him t
he first time I lay hands on him,” roared Captain Nugent.

  Captain Hardy’s stock of patience was at an end, and there was, moreover, a long and undischarged account between himself and his late skipper. He rose and crossed to the door.

  “Jem,” he cried, “come downstairs and show Captain Nugent out.”

  There was a breathless pause. Captain Nugent ground his teeth with fury as he saw the challenge, and realized the ridiculous position into which his temper had led him; and the other, who was also careful of appearances, repented the order the moment he had given it. Matters had now, however, passed out of their hands, and both men cast appraising glances at each other’s form. The only one who kept his head was Master Hardy, and it was a source of considerable relief to both of them when, from the top of the stairs, the voice of that youthful Solomon was heard declining in the most positive terms to do anything of the kind.

  Captain Hardy repeated his command. The only reply was the violent closing of a door at the top of the house, and after waiting a short time he led the way to the front door himself.

  “You will regret your insolence before I have done with you,” said his visitor, as he paused on the step. “It’s the old story of a beggar on horseback.”

  “It’s a good story,” said Captain Hardy, “but to my mind it doesn’t come up to the one about Humpty-Dumpty. Good-night.”

  CHAPTER III

  If anything was wanted to convince Captain Nugent that his action had been foolish and his language intemperate it was borne in upon him by the subsequent behaviour of Master Hardy. Generosity is seldom an attribute of youth, while egotism, on the other hand, is seldom absent. So far from realizing that the captain would have scorned such lowly game, Master Hardy believed that he lived for little else, and his Jack-in-the-box ubiquity was a constant marvel and discomfort to that irritable mariner. Did he approach a seat on the beach, it was Master Hardy who rose (at the last moment) to make room for him. Did he stroll down to the harbour, it was in the wake of a small boy looking coyly at him over his shoulder. Every small alley as he passed seemed to contain a Jem Hardy, who whizzed out like a human firework in front of him, and then followed dancing on his toes a pace or two in his rear.

  This was on week-days; on the Sabbath Master Hardy’s daring ingenuity led him to still further flights. All the seats at the parish church were free, but Captain Nugent, whose admirable practice it was to take his entire family to church, never thoroughly realized how free they were until Master Hardy squeezed his way in and, taking a seat next to him, prayed with unwonted fervour into the interior of a new hat, and then sitting back watched with polite composure the efforts of Miss Nugent’s family to re-strain her growing excitement.

  Charmed with the experiment, he repeated it the following Sunday. This time he boarded the seat from the other end, and seeing no place by the captain, took one, or more correctly speaking made one, between Miss Nugent and Jack, and despite the former’s elbow began to feel almost like one of the family. Hostile feelings vanished, and with an amiable smile at the half-frantic Miss Nugent he placed a “bull’s-eye” of great strength in his cheek, and leaning forward for a hymn-book left one on the ledge in front of jack. A double-distilled perfume at once assailed the atmosphere.

  Miss Nugent sat dazed at his impudence, and for the first time in her life doubts as to her father’s capacity stirred within her. She attempted the poor consolation of an “acid tablet,” and it was at once impounded by the watchful Mrs. Kingdom. Mean-time the reek of “bull’s-eyes” was insufferable.

  The service seemed interminable, and all that time the indignant damsel, wedged in between her aunt and the openly exultant enemy of her House, was compelled to endure in silence. She did indeed attempt one remark, and Master Hardy, with a horrified expression of outraged piety, said “H’sh,” and shook his head at her. It was almost more than flesh and blood could bear, and when the unobservant Mrs. Kingdom asked her for the text on the way home her reply nearly cost her the loss of her dinner.

  The Conqueror, under its new commander, sailed on the day following. Mr. Wilks watched it from the quay, and the new steward observing him came to the side, and holding aloft an old pantry-cloth between his finger and thumb until he had attracted his attention, dropped it overboard with every circumstance of exaggerated horror. By the time a suitable retort had occurred to the ex-steward the steamer was half a mile distant, and the extraordinary and unnatural pantomime in which he indulged on the edge of the quay was grievously misinterpreted by a nervous man in a sailing boat.

  Master Hardy had also seen the ship out, and, perched on the extreme end of the breakwater, he remained watching until she was hull down on the horizon. Then he made his way back to the town and the nearest confectioner, and started for home just as Miss Nugent, who was about to pay a call with her aunt, waited, beautifully dressed, in the front garden while that lady completed her preparations.

  Feeling very spic and span, and still a trifle uncomfortable from the vigorous attentions of Ann, who cleansed her as though she had been a doorstep, she paced slowly up and down the path. Upon these occasions of high dress a spirit of Sabbath calm was wont to descend upon her and save her from escapades to which in a less severe garb she was somewhat prone.

  She stopped at the gate and looked up the road. Then her face flushed, and she cast her eyes behind her to make sure that the hall-door stood open. The hated scion of the house of Hardy was coming down the road, and, in view of that fact, she forgot all else — even her manners.

  The boy, still fresh from the loss of his natural protector, kept a wary eye on the house as he approached. Then all expression died out of his face, and he passed the gate, blankly ignoring the small girl who was leaning over it and apparently suffering from elephantiasis of the tongue. He went by quietly, and Miss Nugent, raging inwardly that she had misbehaved to no purpose, withdrew her tongue for more legitimate uses.

  “Boo,” she cried; “who had his hair pulled?”

  Master Hardy pursued the even tenor of his way.

  “Who’s afraid to answer me for fear my father will thrash him?” cried the disappointed lady, raising her voice.

  This was too much. The enemy retraced his steps and came up to the gate.

  “You’re a rude little girl,” he said, with an insufferably grown-up air.

  “Who had his hair pulled?” demanded Miss Nugent, capering wildly; “who had his hair pulled?”

  “Don’t be silly,” said Master Hardy. “Here.” He put his hand in his pocket, and producing some nuts offered them over the gate. At this Miss Nugent ceased her capering, and wrath possessed her that the enemy should thus misunderstand the gravity of the situation.

  “Well, give ’em to Jack, then,” pursued the boy; “he won’t say no.”

  This was a distinct reflection on Jack’s loyalty, and her indignation was not lessened by the fact that she knew it was true.

  “Go away from our gate,” she stormed. “If my father catches you, you’ll suffer.”

  “Pooh!” said the dare-devil. He looked up at the house and then, opening the gate, strode boldly into the front garden. Before this intrusion Miss Nugent retreated in alarm, and gaining the door-step gazed at him in dismay. Then her face cleared suddenly, and Master Hardy looking over his shoulder saw that his retreat was cut off by Mr. Wilks.

  “Don’t let him hurt me, Sam,” entreated Miss Nugent, piteously.

  Mr. Wilks came into the garden and closed the gate behind him.

  “I wasn’t going to hurt her,” cried Master Hardy, anxiously; “as if I should hurt a girl!

  “Wot are you doing in our front garden, then?” demanded Mr. Wilks.

  He sprang forward suddenly and, catching the boy by the collar with one huge hand, dragged him, struggling violently, down the side-entrance into the back garden. Miss Nugent, following close behind, sought to improve the occasion.

  “See what you get by coming into our garden,” she said.

  Th
e victim made no reply. He was writhing strenuously in order to frustrate Mr. Wilks’s evident desire to arrange him comfortably for the administration of the stick he was carrying. Satisfied at last, the ex-steward raised his weapon, and for some seconds plied it briskly. Miss Nugent trembled, but sternly repressing sympathy for the sufferer, was pleased that the long arm of justice had at last over-taken him.

  “Let him go now, Sam,” she said; “he’s crying.”

  “I’m not,” yelled Master Hardy, frantically.

  “I can see the tears,” declared Miss Nugent, bending.

  Mr. Wilks plied the rod again until his victim, with a sudden turn, fetched him a violent kick on the shin and broke loose. The ex-steward set off in pursuit, somewhat handicapped by the fact that he dare not go over flower-beds, whilst Master Hardy was singularly free from such prejudices. Miss Nugent ran to the side-entrance to cut off his retreat. She was willing for him to be released, but not to escape, and so it fell out that the boy, dodging beneath Mr. Wilks’s outspread arms, charged blindly up the side-entrance and bowled the young lady over.

  There was a shrill squeal, a flutter of white, and a neat pair of button boots waving in the air. Then Miss Nugent, sobbing piteously, rose from the puddle into which she had fallen and surveyed her garments. Mr. Wilks surveyed them, too, and a very cursory glance was sufficient to show him that the case was beyond his powers. He took the outraged damsel by the hand, and led her, howling lustily, in to the horrified Ann.

  “My word,” said she, gasping. “Look at your gloves! Look at your frock!”

  But Miss Nugent was looking at her knees. There was only a slight redness about the left, but from the right a piece of skin was indubitably missing. This knee she gave Ann instructions to foment with fair water of a comfortable temperature, indulging in satisfied prognostications as to the fate of Master Hardy when her father should see the damage.