Works of W. W. Jacobs

by Jacobs, W. W.

  He was awakened half an hour later by the sound of footsteps. A tall, strongly built man was approaching from the direction of the town, and Mr. Burton, as he gazed at him sleepily, began to wonder where he had seen him before. Even when the stranger stopped and stood smiling down at him his memory proved unequal to the occasion, and he sat staring at the handsome, shaven face, with its little fringe of grey whisker, waiting for enlightenment.

  “George, my buck,” said the stranger, giving him a hearty slap on the shoulder, “how goes it?”

  “D — Bless my eyes, I mean,” said Mr. Burton, correcting himself, “if it ain’t Joe Stiles. I didn’t know you without your beard.”

  “That’s me,” said the other. “It’s quite by accident I heard where you were living, George; I offered to go and sling my hammock with old Dingle for a week or two, and he told me. Nice quiet little place, Seacombe. Ah, you were lucky to get your pension, George.”

  “I deserved it,” said Mr. Burton, sharply, as he fancied he detected something ambiguous in his friend’s remark.

  “Of course you did,” said Mr. Stiles; “so did I, but I didn’t get it. Well, it’s a poor heart that never rejoices. What about that drink you were speaking of, George?”

  “I hardly ever touch anything now,” replied his friend.

  “I was thinking about myself,” said Mr. Stiles. “I can’t bear the stuff, but the doctor says I must have it. You know what doctors are, George!”

  Mr. Burton did not deign to reply, but led the way indoors.

  “Very comfortable quarters, George,” remarked Mr. Stiles, gazing round the room approvingly; “ship-shape and tidy. I’m glad I met old Dingle. Why, I might never ha’ seen you again; and us such pals, too.”

  His host grunted, and from the back of a small cupboard, produced a bottle of whisky and a glass, and set them on the table. After a momentary hesitation he found another glass.

  “Our noble selves,” said Mr. Stiles, with a tinge of reproach in his tones, “and may we never forget old friendships.”

  Mr. Burton drank the toast. “I hardly know what it’s like now, Joe,” he said, slowly. “You wouldn’t believe how soon you can lose the taste for it.”

  Mr. Stiles said he would take his word for it. “You’ve got some nice little public-houses about here, too,” he remarked. “There’s one I passed called the Cock and Flowerpot; nice cosy little place it would be to spend the evening in.”

  “I never go there,” said Mr. Burton, hastily. “I — a friend o’ mine here doesn’t approve o’ public-’ouses.”

  “What’s the matter with him?” inquired his friend, anxiously.

  “It’s — it’s a ‘er,” said Mr. Burton, in some confusion.

  Mr. Stiles threw himself back in his chair and eyed him with amazement. Then, recovering his presence of mind, he reached out his hand for the bottle.

  “We’ll drink her health,” he said, in a deep voice. “What’s her name?”

  “Mrs. Dutton,” was the reply.

  Mr. Stiles, with one hand on his heart, toasted her feelingly; then, filling up again, he drank to the “happy couple.”

  “She’s very strict about drink,” said Mr. Burton, eyeing these proceedings with some severity.

  “Any — dibs?” inquired Mr. Stiles, slapping a pocket which failed to ring in response.

  “She’s comfortable,” replied the other, awkwardly. “Got a little stationer’s shop in the town; steady, old-fashioned business. She’s chapel, and very strict.”

  “Just what you want,” remarked Mr. Stiles, placing his glass on the table. “What d’ye say to a stroll?”

  Mr. Burton assented, and, having replaced the black bottle in the cupboard, led the way along the cliffs toward the town some half-mile distant, Mr. Stiles beguiling the way by narrating his adventures since they had last met. A certain swagger and richness of deportment were explained by his statement that he had been on the stage.

  “Only walking on,” he said, with a shake of his head. “The only speaking part I ever had was a cough. You ought to ha’ heard that cough, George!”

  Mr. Burton politely voiced his regrets and watched him anxiously. Mr. Stiles, shaking his head over a somewhat unsuccessful career, was making a bee-line for the Cock and Flowerpot.

  “Just for a small soda,” he explained, and, once inside, changed his mind and had whisky instead. Mr. Burton, sacrificing principle to friendship, had one with him. The bar more than fulfilled Mr. Stiles’s ideas as to its cosiness, and within the space of ten minutes he was on excellent terms with the regular clients. Into the little, old-world bar, with its loud-ticking clock, its Windsor-chairs, and its cracked jug full of roses, he brought a breath of the bustle of the great city and tales of the great cities beyond the seas. Refreshment was forced upon him, and Mr. Burton, pleased at his friend’s success, shared mildly in his reception. It was nine o’clock before they departed, and then they only left to please the landlord.

  “Nice lot o’ chaps,” said Mr. Stiles, as he stumbled out into the sweet, cool air. “Catch hold — o’ my — arm, George. Brace me — up a bit.”

  Mr. Burton complied, and his friend, reassured as to his footing, burst into song. In a stentorian voice he sang the latest song from comic opera, and then with an adjuration to Mr. Burton to see what he was about, and not to let him trip, he began, in a lumbering fashion, to dance.

  Mr. Burton, still propping him up, trod a measure with fewer steps, and cast uneasy glances up the lonely road. On their left the sea broke quietly on the beach below; on their right were one or two scattered cottages, at the doors of which an occasional figure appeared to gaze in mute astonishment at the proceedings.

  “Dance, George,” said Mr. Stiles, who found his friend rather an encumbrance.

  “Hs’h! Stop!” cried the frantic Mr. Burton, as he caught sight of a woman’s figure bidding farewell in a lighted doorway.

  Mr. Stiles replied with a stentorian roar, and Mr. Burton, clinging despairingly to his jigging friend lest a worse thing should happen, cast an imploring glance at Mrs. Dutton as they danced by. The evening was still light enough for him to see her face, and he piloted the corybantic Mr. Stiles the rest of the way home in a mood which accorded but ill with his steps.

  His manner at breakfast next morning was so offensive that Mr. Stiles, who had risen fresh as a daisy and been out to inhale the air on the cliffs, was somewhat offended.

  “You go down and see her,” he said, anxiously. “Don’t lose a moment; and explain to her that it was the sea-air acting on an old sunstroke.”

  “She ain’t a fool,” said Mr. Burton, gloomily.

  He finished his breakfast in silence, and, leaving the repentant Mr. Stiles sitting in the doorway with a pipe, went down to the widow’s to make the best explanation he could think of on the way. Mrs. Dutton’s fresh-coloured face changed as he entered the shop, and her still good eyes regarded him with scornful interrogation.

  “I — saw you last night,” began Mr. Burton, timidly.

  “I saw you, too,” said Mrs. Dutton. “I couldn’t believe my eyesight at first.”

  “It was an old shipmate of mine,” said Mr. Burton. “He hadn’t seen me for years, and I suppose the sight of me upset ‘im.”

  “I dare say,” replied the widow; “that and the Cock and Flowerpot, too. I heard about it.”

  “He would go,” said the unfortunate.

  “You needn’t have gone,” was the reply.

  “I ‘ad to,” said Mr. Burton, with a gulp; “he — he’s an old officer o’ mine, and it wouldn’t ha’ been discipline for me to refuse.”

  “Officer?” repeated Mrs. Dutton.

  “My old admiral,” said Mr. Burton, with a gulp that nearly choked him. “You’ve heard me speak of Admiral Peters?”

  “Admiral?” gasped the astonished widow.

  “What, a-carrying on like that?”

  “He’s a reg’lar old sea-dog,” said Mr. Burton. “He’s staying with me, b
ut of course ‘e don’t want it known who he is. I couldn’t refuse to ‘ave a drink with ‘im. I was under orders, so to speak.”

  “No, I suppose not,” said Mrs. Dutton, softening. “Fancy him staying with you!”

  “He just run down for the night, but I expect he’ll be going ‘ome in an hour or two,” said Mr. Burton, who saw an excellent reason now for hastening his guest’s departure.

  Mrs. Dutton’s face fell. “Dear me,” she murmured, “I should have liked to have seen him; you have told me so much about him. If he doesn’t go quite so soon, and you would like to bring him here when you come to-night, I’m sure I should be very pleased.”

  “I’ll mention it to ‘im,” said Mr. Burton, marvelling at the change in her manner.

  “Didn’t you say once that he was uncle to Lord Buckfast?” inquired Mrs. Dutton, casually.

  “Yes,” said Mr. Burton, with unnecessary doggedness; “I did.”

  “The idea of an admiral staying with you!” said Mrs. Dutton.

  “Reg’lar old sea-dog,” said Mr. Burton again; “and, besides, he don’t want it known. It’s a secret between us three, Mrs. Dutton.”

  “To be sure,” said the widow. “You can tell the admiral that I shall not mention it to a soul,” she added, mincingly.

  Mr. Burton thanked her and withdrew, lest Mr. Stiles should follow him up before apprised of his sudden promotion. He found that gentleman, however, still sitting at the front door, smoking serenely.

  “I’ll stay with you for a week or two,” said Mr. Stiles, briskly, as soon as the other had told his story. “It’ll do you a world o’ good to be seen on friendly terms with an admiral, and I’ll put in a good word for you.”

  Mr. Burton shook his head. “No, she might find out,” he said, slowly. “I think that the best thing is for you to go home after dinner, Joe, and just give ‘er a look in on the way, p’r’aps. You could say a lot o’ things about me in ‘arf an hour.”

  “No, George,” said Mr. Stiles, beaming on him kindly; “when I put my hand to the plough I don’t draw back. It’s a good speaking part, too, an admiral’s. I wonder whether I might use old Peters’s language.”

  “Certainly not,” said Mr. Burton, in alarm.

  “You don’t know how particular she is.”

  Mr. Stiles sighed, and said that he would do the best he could without it. He spent most of the day on the beach smoking, and when evening came shaved himself with extreme care and brushed his serge suit with great perseverance in preparation for his visit.

  Mr. Burton performed the ceremony of introduction with some awkwardness; Mr. Stiles was affecting a stateliness of manner which was not without distinction; and Mrs. Dutton, in a black silk dress and the cameo brooch which had belonged to her mother, was no less important. Mr. Burton had an odd feeling of inferiority.

  “It’s a very small place to ask you to, Admiral Peters,” said the widow, offering him a chair.

  “It’s comfortable, ma’am,” said Mr. Stiles, looking round approvingly. “Ah, you should see some of the palaces I’ve been in abroad; all show and no comfort. Not a decent chair in the place. And, as for the antimacassars — —”

  “Are you making a long stay, Admiral Peters?” inquired the delighted widow.

  “It depends,” was the reply. “My intention was just to pay a flying visit to my honest old friend Burton here — best man in my squadron — but he is so hospitable, he’s been pressing me to stay for a few weeks.”

  “But the admiral says he must get back to-morrow morning,” interposed Mr. Burton, firmly.

  “Unless I have a letter at breakfast-time, Burton,” said Mr. Stiles, serenely.

  Mr. Burton favoured him with a mutinous scowl.

  “Oh, I do hope you will,” said Mrs. Dutton.

  “I have a feeling that I shall,” said Mr. Stiles, crossing glances with his friend. “The only thing is my people; they want me to join them at Lord Tufton’s place.”

  Mrs. Dutton trembled with delight at being in the company of a man with such friends. “What a change shore-life must be to you after the perils of the sea!” she murmured.

  “Ah!” said Mr. Stiles. “True! True!”

  “The dreadful fighting,” said Mrs. Dutton, closing her eyes and shuddering.

  “You get used to it,” said the hero, simply. “Hottest time I had I think was at the bombardment of Alexandria. I stood alone. All the men who hadn’t been shot down had fled, and the shells were bursting round me like — like fireworks.”

  The widow clasped her hands and shuddered again.

  “I was standing just behind ‘im, waiting any orders he might give,” said Mr. Burton.

  “Were you?” said Mr. Stiles, sharply— “were you? I don’t remember it, Burton.”

  “Why,” said Mr. Burton, with a faint laugh, “I was just behind you, sir. If you remember, sir, I said to you that it was pretty hot work.”

  Mr. Stiles affected to consider. “No, Burton,” he said, bluffly— “no; so far as my memory goes I was the only man there.”

  “A bit of a shell knocked my cap off, sir,” persisted Mr. Burton, making laudable efforts to keep his temper.

  “That’ll do, my man,” said the other, sharply; “not another word. You forget yourself.”

  He turned to the widow and began to chat about “his people” again to divert her attention from Mr. Burton, who seemed likely to cause unpleasantness by either bursting a blood-vessel or falling into a fit.

  “My people have heard of Burton,” he said, with a slight glance to see how that injured gentleman was progressing. “He has often shared my dangers. We have been in many tight places together. Do you remember those two nights when we were hidden in the chimney at the palace of the Sultan of Zanzibar, Burton?”

  “I should think I do,” said Mr. Burton, recovering somewhat.

  “Stuck so tight we could hardly breathe,” continued the other.

  “I shall never forget it as long as I live,” said Mr. Burton, who thought that the other was trying to make amends for his recent indiscretion.

  “Oh, do tell me about it, Admiral Peters,” cried Mrs. Dutton.

  “Surely Burton has told you that?” said Mr. Stiles.

  “Never breathed a word of it,” said the widow, gazing somewhat reproachfully at the discomfited Mr. Burton.

  “Well, tell it now, Burton,” said Mr. Stiles.

  “You tell it better than I do, sir,” said the other.

  “No, no,” said Mr. Stiles, whose powers of invention were not always to be relied upon. “You tell it; it’s your story.”

  The widow looked from one to the other. “It’s your story, sir,” said Mr. Burton.

  “No, I won’t tell it,” said Mr. Stiles. “It wouldn’t be fair to you, Burton. I’d forgotten that when I spoke. Of course, you were young at the time, still — —”

  “I done nothing that I’m ashamed of, sir,” said Mr. Burton, trembling with passion.

  “I think it’s very hard if I’m not to hear it,” said Mrs. Dutton, with her most fascinating air.

  Mr. Stiles gave her a significant glance, and screwing up his lips nodded in the direction of Mr. Burton.

  “At any rate, you were in the chimney with me, sir,” said that unfortunate.

  “Ah!” said the other, severely. “But what was I there for, my man?”

  Mr. Burton could not tell him; he could only stare at him in a frenzy of passion and dismay.

  “What were you there for, Admiral Peters?” inquired Mrs. Dutton.

  “I was there, ma’am,” said the unspeakable Mr. Stiles, slowly— “I was there to save the life of Burton. I never deserted my men — never. Whatever scrapes they got into I always did my best to get them out. News was brought to me that Burton was suffocating in the chimney of the Sultan’s favourite wife, and I — —”

  “Sultan’s favourite wife!” gasped Mrs. Dutton, staring hard at Mr. Burton, who had collapsed in his chair and was regarding the ingenious Mr. Stil
es with open-mouthed stupefaction. “Good gracious! I — I never heard of such a thing. I am surprised!”

  “So am I,” said Mr. Burton, thickly. “I — I—”

  “How did you escape, Admiral Peters?” inquired the widow, turning from the flighty Burton in indignation.

  Mr. Stiles shook his head. “To tell you that would be to bring the French Consul into it,” he said, gently. “I oughtn’t to have mentioned the subject at all. Burton had the good sense not to.”

  The widow murmured acquiescence, and stole a look at the prosaic figure of the latter gentleman which was full of scornful curiosity. With some diffidence she invited the admiral to stay to supper, and was obviously delighted when he accepted.

  In the character of admiral Mr. Stiles enjoyed himself amazingly, his one regret being that no discriminating theatrical manager was present to witness his performance. His dignity increased as the evening wore on, and from good-natured patronage of the unfortunate Burton he progressed gradually until he was shouting at him. Once, when he had occasion to ask Mr. Burton if he intended to contradict him, his appearance was so terrible that his hostess turned pale and trembled with excitement.

  Mr. Burton adopted the air for his own use as soon as they were clear of Mrs. Dutton’s doorstep, and in good round terms demanded of Mr. Stiles what he meant by it.

  “It was a difficult part to play, George,” responded his friend. “We ought to have rehearsed it a bit. I did the best I could.”

  “Best you could?” stormed Mr. Burton. “Telling lies and ordering me about?”

  “I had to play the part without any preparation, George,” said the other, firmly. “You got yourself into the difficulty by saying that I was the admiral in the first place. I’ll do better next time we go.”

  Mr. Burton, with a nasty scowl, said that there was not going to be any next time, but Mr. Stiles smiled as one having superior information. Deaf first to hints and then to requests to seek his pleasure elsewhere, he stayed on, and Mr. Burton was soon brought to realise the difficulties which beset the path of the untruthful.