Shenandoah Christmas

by Lynnette Kent

  "More snow?" Maddie bounced in her seat. "Cool! Maybe we won't have school all week."

  "Then you wouldn't have your holiday program," Ben

  pointed out. He glanced at Cait, to see if she had remembered. Her gaze was waiting for him, sardonic, a little reproachful. Yeah, she remembered.

  "Are we almost there, Daddy?"

  "Almost. Give me ten minutes, okay?"

  "Okay."

  In about eight, he took the turnoff onto the narrow, crooked gravel road leading to Dove's Tree Farm. There was no parking lot, just the front yard of a small log cabin standing on a slight rise. Behind the house, spruce trees filled the landscape all the way to the rocky sides of the valley.

  "Okay," Ben said, cutting the engine. "Lunch, or tree?"

  . "Tree!" Maddie shouted. Shep wrestled with his seat belt in agreement.

  "Why did I even ask?" He glanced at Cait.

  She shook her head. "I don't know. The answer was pretty obvious." Her smile turned the barb into a gentle tease.

  And her presence made the tree search less of an ordeal. She romped through the snow with the kids, inciting snowball fights and snow angel contests. Maddie and Shep sought her opinion on every tree they passed, and Cait took to making up silly evaluations.

  "Too conceited," she judged one specimen.

  Ben stopped in his tracks. "A conceited tree?" I "It is, Daddy." Maddie dragged at his arm. "Come on.

  With a wave of his arms, Shep presented the next candidate, which looked exactly like the last one. Cait shook her head. "Doesn't like children. Wants a house with two adults, no cats and only an old dog. No pets would be even better."

  Shep laughed. Ben heard him, and for a few secon his heart thudded against his ribs. Was his son finally coming to terms with what had happened in his life? Would he speak again? I

  And was Cait somehow responsible for the change?

  The sky clouded over as they wandered through the trees. A little after noon, Ben glanced up and realized they were definitely in for more snow. At the thought, it seemed, the first flakes came drifting down.

  "Oh, boy. We're looking for a Christmas tree in the snow!" Maddie and Shep dodged in and out between the green branches.

  Ben hefted the ax onto his shoulder. ' 'And we need to find one, get it cut, and get back to the car. I'd like to beat the snow down the mountain." 1

  "Okay, kids, that's a direct order." Cait surveyed the trees around them with her hands on her hips. "Let's figure out which of these trees is yours and take it back to Goodwill."

  An hour later, they dragged their choice up to the log cabin. Farmer Dove, who looked like a retired college professor in a heavy tweed jacket and with a pipe clamped between his teeth, helped Ben tie the tree onto the roof of the Suburban. "Better go the short way home," Dove recommended. "Weather channel's calling for another six, eight inches." j|

  Ben climbed into the driver's seat. "I don't think there is a short way home. But thanks."

  Farmer-Professor Dove nodded and went back inside.

  As soon as the car doors were shut, Maddie said, "What about lunch, Daddy? I'm hungry."

  "You can eat as we drive." He turned on the windshield wipers to clear away snow. "A traveling picnic. If Cait will do the honors."

  ...

  "Sure." But she gave him a concerned glance. "Can you eat and drive?"

  "On a flat interstate, with no traffic, in the summer, maybe. Going down the mountain in the snow, no way." He grinned at her. "I won't starve between here and home."

  The wind picked up as the storm drew close, driving snow against the windows. Going around exposed turns, Ben could feel the tree shifting the car's balance. He tightened his hands on the steering wheel, sat up straighter. Too bad there really wasn't a shorter way down. They should have left the tree farm much earlier. He'd known it at the time, and allowed emotion to sway his judgment.

  Just as Cait started passing sandwiches into the back seat, Ben spotted blue lights flashing up ahead. Two highway patrol cars had been parked across both lanes of the road. When Ben eased to a stop, a frozen-looking patrolman walked up to his window.

  "There's a bad accident up ahead. You'll need to detour, sir."

  Ben swallowed a few choice words. "I'm not really familiar with the area. Can you give me some directions on this detour?"

  The patrolman seemed to swallow a curse of his own. "Got a map?"

  Cait had already searched the glove compartment and come up with his Virginia map. Ben gave her a grateful smile and stepped out into the quickly falling snow to get directions.

  "Okay." He got back in the car feeling chilled and tired, and only hoping he could follow the officer's instructions. "First we take this left turn, here...."

  The phone woke Anna on Saturday afternoon, but before she could reach it, the ringing stopped. While she was

  still trying to get her eyes open, David came to the bedroom door. j

  "Anna?" I

  "Hmm?" She'd been dreaming she was working outside, digging up a new flower bed.

  "Your dad is on the phone." jj

  Completely awake now, she put the phone to her ear. "Hi, Dad. How are you?"

  "Very good. I hadn't heard from you in quite some time. Has your baby been born yet?" ?

  She got a kick in the bladder from the person in question. "No, we're still waiting, thank goodness." :

  "You're being careful this time?"

  As if she hadn't been careful with the last two babies? "I'm on complete bed rest. I haven't lifted anything heavier than a glass of milk for weeks now."

  "That sounds wise. David is taking care of you, I'm

  sure."

  i
  Of course.' As long as he doesn't actually have to communicate with me. Or touch me. Some impulse drove her to add, "And Cait's been here since the beginning of October." |

  "I...see." The Reverend Allan Gregory cleared his throat. "That's very nice of her, I'm sure. The weather down here has been so warm, it's hard to believe we're in the Christmas season. But I can tell from the increasing workload. I've got three extra messages to write before the twentieth." ]

  For once, she wouldn't let him off so easily. "Cait is directing our annual Christmas pageant. And she's written a song for it, as well."

  1 'Commendable.''

  Anna wanted to scream. ' 'This will be the first Christmas she's celebrated since she left home."

  Her dad made no reply to that piece of news.

  She gave up the subtle approach. "Don't you think it's about time you ended this stupid feud with your own daughter?''

  He remained silent so long, she began to think he wouldn't answer her question at all. "I have never been treated with such a complete lack of respect."

  "That was ten years ago, Dad."

  "I have not received an apology, or any kind of communication at all."

  ' 'Cait left home with the impression you never wanted to hear from her again."

  "She made her choice."

  The temper she'd been holding in check for months broke free. "And that's the problem, isn't it? You can't get over the fact that Cait didn't do what you told her to. She didn't follow the path you laid out for her, like I did. And to make the whole situation worse, she was right, wasn't she? You have to have heard how successful she is, how much people across the country like her music. You were wrong. And you can't deal with it."

  This time, she knew he would hang up on her. After a long pause, he said, "I hope you will stay well and that the baby is born safe and healthy."

  "Thank you." She made one last attempt to change his mind. " 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' That's the rule, Dad. It's the reason for Christmas. If you can't forgive, how can you be forgiven?"

  Another stretch of emptiness on the line. "Take care of yourself."

  She'd failed. "You, too."

  "Call me when the baby is born."

  9 >

  5 9

  "Of course. "Goodbye
.

  "Bye." Anna clicked off the phone and rolled onto her back, crossed her arms over her face and let herself cry.

  The afternoon darkened and the snow came faster and thicker as they rode slowly through the mountains. Mad-die had long since given up her cheerful chatter; the car was very quiet. Cait hesitated to say anything at all, for fear of distracting Ben from the treacherous conditions. She couldn't look away from the road, either, as if her attention was required to keep them on course.

  Just outside her window, the mountain dropped at a sharp angle into a deep hollow, thickly filled with trees. Gusts of wind buffeted the evergreen they carried on the roof. It was almost like having a sail tied to the car. In the middle of a hurricane.

  Ben flexed his fingers around the steering wheel. ' 'There should be another turn coming up on the left. That road—" 1

  A blast of wind hit his side of the car, pushing them toward the drop-off on Cait's side. She gasped, then sat stiff as he gentled the Suburban back to the center of the road. I

  "What's wrong?" Maddie's sleepy voice meant she'd missed the worst of that adventure. "Are we home?'

  "We're getting there, darlin'." Cait reached backward over the seat to pat the little girl's knee. "It won't be long now."

  As she spoke, the wind attacked again. Above them, the tree shifted to Cait's side of the car. 1

  "Damn," Ben muttered under his breath. The wind- j shield wipers barely cleared the glass before it was cov-

  ered again. "I'm going to pull over, see if we can wait out the worst..." He put his foot gently on the brake.

  The antilock system kicked in with a rumble. That meant they were driving on ice, invisible under the new layer of snow. Their forward motion slowed just as the wind drove into them yet again, pushing the big vehicle toward the hollow.

  Holding his breath, Ben turned into the skid, fighting for control, but the wind had taken the possibility out of his hands. "Put your head on your knees," he yelled. "Cover your face with your arms."

  A picture of Valerie laughing with the kids flashed through his mind. Then he heard Cait gasp as the Suburban slid onto the narrow shoulder...and over the side of the mountain.

  come to a stop. He reached out, feeling for her arm, her hand. His fingers found hers, twined between them. "Are you okay?"

  "Sure. Just still...um...getting my heart rate down. I'm not a fan of roller coasters."

  "Neither am I, anymore." He left their hands joined. The contact felt too good to abandon. "Given where we are, it'll take them an hour or two to find us, especially in this weather. I'll run the motor at intervals to give us some heat, and we all should be fine."

  "But, Daddy, what can we do?"

  "We can sing," Cait said. "How about 'Jingle Bells'?"

  Surprising himself, Ben joined in, but had to stop, laughing, when they reached the second verse. "We got 'upsot,' all right."

  Cait groaned. "Life imitates art. What's the next song?"

  Maddie called for "The Twelve Days of Christmas," which kept them busy for a while, then "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." Ben thought his teeth would begin to ache from an overdose of holiday sweetness.

  He opted out of the next song and let his mind drift, noting how fast it was getting dark outside, thinking that he was tired of being penned in, wondering when one of the kids would need to go to the bathroom. Any time now, he was betting. When he brought his attention back to the music, he realized that Cait had started singing "Silent Night."

  And that he was hearing three separate voices.

  Couldn't be. He closed his eyes, holding his breath, listening hard. Did he really hear Shep singing?

  Humming, actually. No words. But there was definitely a third voice there. His son was making sounds again.

  How? Why? Did it have something to do with being in yet another car accident, with everybody coming out safe this time? What kind of sense did that make?

  Ben looked over at Cait. She was gazing at him, smiling as she sang, her eyes shining. He grinned back at her, glad to share the moment... until he received yet another revelation. Cait was not surprised to hear Shep's voice.

  She had known the little boy could sing.

  But she hadn't told Ben.

  He was still figuring out his reaction when the flash of blue-and-red-and-yellow lights on the snowy windshield caught his attention. "Looks like the police are here." His voice was rough with the tears he didn't want to shed, the fear and relief of the last couple of hours, the indignation at being left out on such a vital matter as Shep's voice. He cleared his throat. "Let's sit tight and see how this is going to work." I

  Getting the four of them out of the Suburban was hard work. The firefighters and police judged the fallen trees under the car pretty stable, but they did some rigging with ropes and chains, just in case. They took the kids out first, since their weight was light and would disturb the balance least. Ben felt slightly crazy, believing Shep and Maddie were safe but not knowing exactly where they were anymore, j

  In the lull while they waited for their own rescue, he looked over at Cait again. "You knew Shep was singing?"

  1 'Just in the last couple of weeks. I heard him by accident one afternoon after choir practice." I

  "And you didn't tell me?" He couldn't control his voice enough to keep the outrage hidden. j

  "I'm sorry, Ben. He didn't want anyone to know."

  "Shep said that?"

  j

  LYNNETTE KENT 187

  "No. But it was obvious. And I was afraid that if I betrayed him, he'd stop altogether."

  "Yeah." The indignation faded, replaced by hurt. Why wouldn't his son want to talk to him?

  He didn't realize he'd voiced the question until Cait answered. "Why did he stop talking to begin with? The reasons for both behaviors must be connected somehow. Maybe being silent was something he felt he could control, when he couldn't do anything about his mom. Maybe he was angry—at himself, at the world?—and not talking was a means of punishment. You'll probably be able to ask him one day soon. And he'll tell you."

  "I guess I need to find a new therapist." I think... Never mind." What do you think?" It's none of my business."

  He reached for her hand again. "That's not true, and you know it. My family is most definitely your business."

  Cait was quiet for a breathless minute. "I think you need to give him more time before bringing in a stranger to ask questions and make demands."

  "I would hope a therapist would be more sympathetic than that."

  "However it's done, if he feels the least pressure, he might stop."

  "So I just wait for the day he decides to talk to me?"

  "Give him opportunities to sing. That's what happened this afternoon, it's what happens at choir. I've been singing with him, to him. Sometimes Shep chooses the song, sometimes I do, and it's like a game. The more fun you make it, the more often I think he'll play."

  The door on Cait's side of the car opened. "Howdy, folks." A red-faced firefighter in turnout gear grinned in at them. "How about a lift back up to the road?"

  Ben went last, to find that they'd brought in a crane. The trip to the top of the bank was a short cold ride standing in the electrician's bucket attached to the end of the crane's arm. And then he was on solid ground. His knees were shaky, but they held him up for the quick walk to the ambulance where Cait and Maddie and Shep sat huddled under blankets. I

  "Daddy!" Maddie flew toward him over the snowy ground, flung her arms around his waist and squeezed tight. Ben cupped her head with one hand and with the other arm scooped up Shep when he arrived. j

  "Hey, son." He spoke with his mouth against the blond hair. "I heard you singing, back there in the truck." Shep pulled away a little to meet his gaze. "Are you thinking about starting to talk again?" j

  After a couple of false starts, the little boy said, huskily, "Maybe."

  Ben squeezed his eyes shut, swallowed hard. "That's terrific. I'm so glad."

  "Me, too." Shep leaned
close and put his arms around his dad's neck. "Me, too, Daddy."

  Ben hugged his son even tighter, thanking God for this newest miracle of Christmas.

  The Suburban was not driveable, so the police gave them all a ride down to Goodwill. Since they weren't expected home at any particular time, they had decided to call Anna and the Shepherds once they'd returned to town.

  "Believe it or not," Cait told her sister, "the firefighters even rescued the Christmas tree. Ben and Maddie and Shep are setting it up right now."

  "There must be some kind of Christmas jinx you and Ben share. Are you sure you're all okay?" Anna sounded tired, stressed.

  i

  "We're fine. How are you feeling?"

  "The same as always these days. Bored, frustrated, alone..." She broke off with a gasp. "I'm sorry, Cait. I didn't mean to say that."

  "Why not, if that's the way you feel? Nobody likes being forced to stay in bed when they aren't sick."

  "But there's a good reason for me to be here. I shouldn't resent doing whatever it takes to keep the baby safe."

  Cait heard a burst of laughter from Maddie in the living room. She moved to the doorway so she could see the little girl steadying the tree in its stand.

  Ben was lying on the floor, only his legs visible under the green branches. "Is it straight yet?"

  Maddie looked at Shep, standing across the room. "Is it straight?"

  Shep nodded, and Cait turned back into the kitchen. "Annabelle, you're entitled to your feelings. What matters is what you do with those feelings. Ben has always hated Christmas, but he's spent the whole day helping his kids get ready to celebrate."

  "Still—"

  "You like to be up and doing things—you'd probably be really happy to decorate your house yourself, instead of looking forward to having the women of the church do it for you."

  Anna sighed. "Oh, I would."

  "You're not though, because you care about your baby the way Ben cares about Maddie and Shep. Be proud of what you're doing. It says what kind of person you are." Oh, Cait." A few telltale sniffs came over the line.

  Thank you. We'll see you when you get home." Sure. I won't be too late." Oh, wait a minute. Cait? Are you there?"