by Tim Bradford
electric guitar 281
electricity pylons 293, 394
electro-magnetic currents 13, 384
Elephant and Castle 330
Elephant and Castle
Mean Time 380
Elizabeth I, Queen 65, 345, 367, 400, 411
emu people, the 363
Energy 157 (lines), 383–90
Enfield 23
England/UK/GB all mixed up thing, the 351
English Punk Heritage 204, 206
enlightenment 386–7
entrepreneurial
inadequacy 222–3
Environment Agency 86, 96, 98, 293
Epping Forest 383, 387
Eric Random and the Bedlamites 22
ESB 252
Escape to Victory 77
Essex 84, 361, 383, 389
estate agent telepathy 316
Etymologists (of Bishopsgate Library) 436–42
European arty films 262
evil water spirits 37
evolutionary consciousness 397
Exmouth Market EC1 106
extra-strong lager 33, 35, 36, 93, 107, 109, 143, 277, 303, 327, 330, 335, 338, 370, 384, 405, 405, 410
factoid 86
faded Homer Simpson
comedy towel 268
fairies 263
failed love affair 139
Falcon Brook 11, 308–25, 414
Falcon, The (superhero) 318
Fantastic Voyage 106
Fanthorpe, UA 106
farmers 5, 6, 10, 119, 328, 336 (tan), 339
(farmer’s fingers)
Farringdon 268
fat
(-arsed/tiny-bodied dead people), 30
(blokes), 84, 93 (lads with long sideburns), 22
(rich, red-faced landowners), 32
FBI 370
fear of rivers 422
female sexuality 258, 277, 353
feminism 268, 424
feminist water nymphs 300
feng-shui 13
fertility rites 189
fickle 18th-century
hypochondriacs 107
fighting 139, 212, 349, 406
Finsbury Park 8, 12, 18, 26, 27, 30, 31, 63, 81, 299, 418, 425
Fire Engines, the 5
fish 32 (dead), 95
(offcuts), 100 (raw), 225, 328, 336, 377, 394
fish and chips 349, 355
fishermen 48
Fitzcarraldo 394
Fitzstephen, William 118
Flashing Blade, the 187, 336, 407
Fleet (Holebourne) 11, 13, 22, 104–21, 141, 413, 421–7
flies 388, 390
floods 5, 20, 86, 96
floppy-haired country rockers 253
flow rates 427
Football 10, 14, 28, 29, 45–77, 45–77, 106, 107, 126, 143, 238, 268, 316, 350, 366, 378, 386, 391, 404
Ford, Henry 223
Foucault’s Pendulum 77
Fox, Michael J. 297
Foxton, Bruce 215
France 140, 249
Franz Ferdinand,
Archduke 65
Fred the Cat 238–9
free jazz 22, 137, 266
free-jazz pool 396–7
French accordion music 95
Frognal Rise 262
Fulham Cemetery 238
Fulham FC 45
fumes 113
fun! 87
funerals 229, 230
fuzzbox 202, 429
fuzzy whiskers 32, 139
Gainsborough, Thomas 6
Gang of Four 260, 269
Ganges River 6, 257
gardens 107, 115, 127
gargantuan Johnsonian turds 248
gas holders 147, 362, 394
gelled mullets 396
Genocidal Marsupial 365
geo-cultural boredom factor 286
Georgians 12, 29, 362
Germanic deity, a less than fantastic 246
Germans 126, 370, 424
ghosts 92, 232, 233, 334
giant suburban turkey god 294
Gillan, Ian 403–4
Gillespie Park 60–1
Gilmore, Gary 210
Gilmour, Gary 210
girls in French waitress
outfits 406
gizzard 111
glamorous barmaids 84, 108
Glastonbury festival 359
Glaswegian deer 298
Glitter Band, the 320
global finance
(alternative system) 365–6
global warming 9
GMT 380
God 18, 90, 168, 387
‘God Save the Queen’ 351
Goddess 6, 7, 65, 115, 257, 263, 265, 267, 270, 274, 280
Godwin the Hermit 209
‘Going Underground’ 215
Golden Bough, The 36
Golders Hill Park 266
goldfish 236, 378
golf 257, 279, 294, 347, 391, 394
Good Friday Agreement 262
Good Life, The 267
Good Queen Bess
fetishists 346
graffiti 53, 289, 346, 392, 408
Grand Union Canal 227
Graveney, the 425
gravestones 67, 145, 227, 230
Gray, Eddie 97
Great Fire of London 119, 327
Green Man 190
Greer, Germaine 273
Griffin, Sid 430
Grossmith, Weedon 244–5, 246
Guinness 8, 319, 356, 396–7
Guinness Book of Record 54, 85, 370, 425
Guinness, Alec 319
guitars 402, 403, 413
Gustavus Adolphus 325
Gwynn, Nell 252
Gipsy Hill 402
Hacka (Saxon chieftain) 50, 388
Hackney 26, 47, 54, 55, 68, 69, 71, 78, 385, 388, 409, 419
Hackney Brook 34, 38, 44–77, 79, 388, 413, 417, (pub walk) 432–3
Hackney Downs 69
Hackney Marshes 71, 99
Hackney Wick 55, 72, 260
Hades 119
haiku poetry 387–94
Hallal Brook 419
Hammer Man 246
Hammersmith 250, 251, 297
Hammersmith Creek 252
Hampstead 105, 207
Hampstead Heath 261, 263
Hampstead Heath Spring 108
Hampstead Wells 107
hand-printed wallpaper 252
Hanger Lane 278
Hanwell bedroom
computer shop 140
hard blokes with dogs 108–9
Hardcore London
feminist river walkers 258, 259, 260, 269, 273, 394, 412, 424
Hare Krishna food
delivery van 23
Harper, Charlie 219
Harris, David 142, 146
Harrison, George 88
‘Harvest for the World’ 231
Hastings, Battle of 327
Hawaiian shirts 310, 326
Headon, Topper 216
healing 105–21 (springs), 138 (the world), 384–386
Heath, Ted 263
Heaven 98, 141
heavy metal 403–4
helicopters 322
Hell 98
Hemingway, Ernest 8, 252
Hendon 268
Henmania 301–2
Henry V, King 166–7
Henry VIII, King 288, 367
Hermit Bridge, Kilburn 209
Herne Hill 406, 407
Herne the Hunter 407
heroin 215, 253
Herzog, Werner 394
‘hidden stuff’ 48
Hidebourne/Hidaburna
(Falcon Brook) 321
high-density housing
projects 70
Highbury 7, 12, 30, 32, 37, 47, 63, 138, 248, 263
Highbury Stadium 47, 63, 75
Highbury Vale 31, 55, 425
Highgate 8, 138, 142
Hill, Christopher 325
hippies 13, 250, 347, 385
history 75, 327–328, 399, 400, 411, 420
<
br /> History of Muswell Hill, The 132
history plaques 354
Hitchcock, Alfred 253
Hoxton 191
Hogarth, William 243
Holborn 105
hole in pan-dimensional
space-time 289, 300, 333
Holebourne (Fleet) 104–21
Holloway 31, 47, 53, 55, 323
Holloway, Stanley 319
Holmes, Sherlock 159, 170–1
holy river 257, 278
holy well 116, 226, 330
homeless people 77
Honey Brook 317
Honor Oak Park 345
Hood, Robin 114, 405
horned god 168, 206, 407
Hornsey 23, 31, 32, 425, 143–6,
Hornsey Wood 81, 425
horseshit 162, 254, 390
Hospital for Tropical
Diseases 109
Houndsditch 199
house prices 78
Huguenots 361
Humber, River 50
Hungarian barmaids 356
Hunter, Holly 300
hurdler’s knee 76, 228, 229, 230
Hurst, Geoff (Sir) 171
Hyde Park 214
ice cream 66, 68, 329
Icke, David 170
Idol, Billy 219
IKEA 281–2
‘I’m A Wonderful Thing’ 231
I Spy Book of Trees 297
Imbolc 271
IMF 302
immortality (Victorian style) 226
Imperial War Museum 326
inadequate explanations
of the multi-faceted nature of time 190
incontinence 111
insomnia 13
internal navigation systems 207
international property firms 341–2
invisible boundaries 17
Iran-Iraq war 348
Ireland 385
Irish 65, 84 (music), 113
(women), 153 (pubs), 341 (workmen), 361
Ironside, Edward 279
Isle of Dogs 362
Isledon 58
Islington 26, 33, 34, 58, 75, 401
Islington lands 115
Islington spa 117
Italian women 106
‘I’ve Changed My Address’ 214
Ivimey, Alan 11, 189, 205, 443
J18 Protests 193
Jack Straw’s Castle 206, 263
Jackson, Glenda 262, 263
Jacob’s Island 327, 334
Jags, the 216
Jam, the 214, 215
Jamaicans 411
Jamaican grandads 8, 62, 402
‘James Bond Theme’ (3rd Baritone style) 348
James I, King 21, 22, 25, 67
James, Sid 319, 323
Janus 19
Japanese tourists 380
Japanese busker 429
Jaruzelski, General 282
jazz (Hogarthian) 243
JCB digger-type thing 57
Jehovah’s Witnesses 14, 38
jellied eels 90, 91, 98, 99, 100, 194 (jellied eels from outer space)
jelly 296
Jerk, The 167
Jerome, Jerome K. 220
‘Jerusalem’ 351
Jews 361
jogging 152–3, 251, 254–5
Johnny (and Jemima)
come-latelies 184
Johnson, Samuel 7, 106, 248, 253, 254, 314, 354, 394 (ghost of)
Jones, Grace 252
Jonson, Ben 105, 119
Joshua Tree, The 346
Joy Division 208, 231, 238
Joyce, James 90
Joyce, William 419
jujitsu 419
Kamasutra, The 338
Kawasaki 143, 145
Keats’ house 108
kebabs 102
Kendall, Kenneth 135
Kennedy, John F. 291
Kensal Green Cemetery 226
Kensit, Patsy 249
Kent, Nick 320
Kentish Town 105
Kerouacian adventures 385
Kestrel Super 35, 36
Kid Creole and the Coconuts 231
Kidman, Nicole 90, 100
kids 67, 127, 373, 402
Kilburn 206. 208
Kiley, Bob 370
‘King of Snake’ 413
King, Jon 260, 269
kingfishers 96, 98, 292
King’s Cross 105, 112, 328
Kingsland Road, Dalston 191
Kinks, the 132, 133, 136, 137, 141, 146, 150
Knights of ‘Sinjun’ 321
Knightsbridge 215
Konk Studios 146
Korg MS10 synthesiser 400–5, 412
Krays, the 10 (Reggie), 361, 414
Kyoto (Climate Change Protocol) 98
La Motta, Jake 182
Labour Party 263, 419
Ladbroke Grove 10, 210, 233
lakes of urine 335, 430
Lambeth 329, 361
landscape 194
lard power 63
Latin 195
laughing skull (visions of a) 347
laundrettes 58, 145, 163, 423
Lavender Hill Mob, The 319, 323
Lea, (Lee) river 47, 50, 73, 83, 93, 144, 150, 388, 394
Leary, Timothy 35, 226
leathery old blokes 289
‘Leave the Capitol’ 213
Led Zeppelin 24, 322
Leeds United FC 22, 97, 112, 182–4, 366
Leg of Mutton Pond 265
Leicester Square 182
Lenin 113
Lennon, John 35, 152
leopardskin leggings 272, 276
leprechauns 385
‘Let Me Be’ 150
‘Let’s Build a Car’ 208
‘Letter to Robin’ 143
leylines 198
Leyton Orient FC 45, 98
Leyton Wingate FC 96
Leytonstone 22
Lib-Lab Pact 301
libraries 53, 86, 286, 320, 405, 420
light romantic comedy 190
Lillee, Dennis 210
Limehouse 358–64
Lincolnshire 8, 9, 10, 112, 119, 140, 210, 230, 287, 301
Lipman, Maureen 132
Lithuanian suits 67
Little Dorrit 57, 140
Little Wormwood Scrubs 234
Live and Dangerous 403
Livingstone, Ken 370–1, 425
lobsters 78, 79, 102
Lock Stream 335
Lofty (EastEnders) 132
‘London Calling’ 205
London Scottish RUFC 134
‘London Song’ 137
London Spa (gardens) 117
‘London Traffic’ 215
London Transport
(Estates) 184–5
London Under London,
Trench and Hillman 369
London Zoo 170
Long Ryders, the 430
‘Looking Through Gary
Gilmore’s Eyes’ 210
Lord, John 403–8
Lords Cricket Ground 158
Lordship Park,
Tottenham 148
Lost Rivers of London, The (Barton) 34, 47, 443
Lost Rivers of London, The (Bush) 264
Loughborough Junction 409, 410
love-making manual 195
LSD 35
Lubricate Your Living Room 5
luck 182 (magical rituals for), 183
lucky barmaid 117
lucky heather 162, 402
lucky pubs 106–7, 183
Ludgate Monthly 244
Mace, Jem (The Swaffham Gypsy) 140
MacGowan, Shane 209, 212
MacMillan, Harold 266
mad country folk 13
magic 10, 76, 122, 260, 275, 407
magic Beatles plate 170
magic galleons 135
Magic Orange 401, 407
magnificent goth chick 202
Major, John 51, 291, 300, 418
Man With Two Brains, The 167
Manchester United FC 118
; manhole 421
manic depressive 7
Manor House 28, 66
Mansion House 197
Manze’s Pie and Mash shop 100, 331
Mappin and Webb 197
maps 9, 11, 14, 23, 30, 35, 45, 326, 336, 359, 389, 409, 424
Market Rasen 9
Marquess Estate 33
marshes 338, 347
martial arts 19, 72, 139, 183, 419
Martin Chuzzlewit 250
Martin, Steve 178
Marvel Comics 246
Marx, Karl 114
Marxist football tans 150
masochistically patriotic
music hall songs 261
masons 65, 72, 76, 177, 186, 198, 410
Matlock, Glen 221
Mayday 132, 190
maypole 191, 192
McCartney, Paul 151, 402
McDowell, Malcolm 190
McGregor, Ewan 221
McKellen, Sir Ian 341–2
McLaren, Malcom 218, 220–1
McWhirter, Norris 55, 85, 187
meat 119–20, 273
medicinal herbs 61
medico-surgical
procedures 161
medieval 334
mediocre watercolours 140
Meek, Joe 56
Meet the Ancestors 194
melancholia 122, 146
melancholic downbeats 83
Melly, George 243
Merton Abbey 99
Metropolitan Board of Works 32
Metropolitan Free
Drinking Fountain Association 28
Middle Ages 68 (brothels), 119, 190, 335
Middle class 226, 299
(hip hop kid), 361
Midlands, the 139
Midnight Express 134
Mile End 323, 360
Military Industrial complex, the 45
Mill River 97
Millennium Dome 380–1
Milligan, Spike 62
Millwall FC 45, 353
miracles 106, 118
Miro, Joan 90
Mirren, Helen 190, 221, 300
Mithras, temple of 189, 195, 197, 198, 199, 250
Mockney villains 257
Model railway shop 296, 357
Modernists (those bastards) 29, 148, 174
Molby, Jan 180
‘Molly Malone’ 430
monks 333, 334, 336, 338, 339
Montgomery, Field
Marshall 328
Monument 189
Moonlight Club, the 207–8
Moore, Roger 159
morbid stuff about funerals 230–1
Morecombe & Wise 236
Morden Priory 292
morphing machine 380
Morris, William 81, 90, 92, 98, 99, 100, 138, 252
Morrissey 93
Moselle River 45, 130–151, 413
Mossy Well, the 138, 143
Mother Nature 265, 280
‘Mother’s All Funked Up’ 356
moustaches 27, 139
Mozart 218, 305–6
Mr Byrite 123
muggers 69, 152–3, 265
Munich 1860 182
murder 143
murky water 408
muscular Christians 139
Museum of London 68
Music Lovers, The 262
Muswell Hill 131, 132, 136, 137, 138, 142, 143, 272, 297