Playing at Forever

by Michelle Brewer

  “It’s quiet here.”

  “You hated it here.”

  “That’s not true.” But they both knew it was. He’d hated it so much that he hadn’t even waited until graduation to take off across the country. “I liked being here with you.”

  “Oh, is that why you kept in touch so well?” Penny couldn’t help the sarcastic tone in her voice.

  “I kept in touch.”

  “A few random phone calls scattered over the first few months you were gone don’t really count as ‘keeping in touch’, Tommy.” She thought back to that first year Tommy had been gone. She hadn’t thought it would be so difficult, not having him around. It wasn’t as if they had been in love with each other or anything like that—but they had been friends. They had relied on each other.

  Except that, when Tommy left, it felt like he’d taken a piece of her with him. She had looked forward to hearing from him—to know how he was doing, what he was up to.

  He hadn’t called until a few weeks after he’d arrived in Los Angeles. She had spent the first month worrying about him, having no idea where he was or what had happened. He’d told her he would call as soon as he arrived.

  After the first phone call, another month or so passed by before the next. And then two months before the next. And that was pretty much the last time she’d spoken to Tommy Davidison.

  She couldn’t forget the pain she’d felt at his abandonment. No matter how hard she had tried over the years, the wound never healed.

  And now, having him stand right here in front of her—she felt as though it had been freshly torn open.

  “Can’t we just…let the past be the past? I just want my friend back.” It almost sounded like a line from one of his movies. She looked up to find him staring down at her with those intense blue eyes she’d never been able to forget.

  The bubble of laughter that escaped from her was biting. “Our past made our present, Tommy. Don’t you see? Whatever we had then—that’s where it ended. You and I aren’t friends anymore. And we’ll never be friends again. Too much time has gone by. We’ve changed too much.”

  “You haven’t even given me a chance.”

  “That’s right, and I don’t intend to.” At that, Penny stepped around him to begin the walk back to Amy’s.

  “That’s not fair,” he was right on her heels.

  “Fair or not—it’s life.” She thought about her cheating husband. Had that been fair? And what about Tommy leaving her behind without so much as a second thought? Had that been fair?

  “I know all about how unfair life can be.” His words brought her to a stop. He was right, of course.

  Life had taken his mother from him before he’d even had the chance to know her. Life had forced him to live with a man who never seemed to think his own son was good enough.

  “I just—I need a friend. I need my Penny Lane.” If she would have turned around, she would have seen the loneliness in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry, but that song ended a long time ago.” And with that, she resumed her walk.

  A few moments later, she heard footsteps echoing behind her—but she didn’t turn back.

  She didn’t have to.

  For the first time in what seemed like a very long time, a small smile—a genuine smile—touched her lips.

  Because even though she’d known Tommy before he’d become Thomson, she couldn’t deny being just the slightest bit star struck.

  Not only had Tommy come back—but he claimed to have come back for her.

  “Good night, Penny,” his voice called out to her as she approached Amy’s front door.

  That was something to smile about.

  The next morning, Penny found that she wasn’t dreading getting out of bed as much as she had been the day before. In fact, there was just the smallest little piece of her that was almost…looking forward to it.

  “What has got you in such a good mood?” Amy questioned. Penny looked up, feigning innocence.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh, give me a break, Pen. You’re practically dancing with every step you take.”

  “I am not!” Penny laughed, shaking her head.

  “Did Kevin find out Gina was cheating on him, is that it?” Penny laughed again, rolling her eyes. “That would be enough for me.”

  “It actually has nothing to do with Kevin.” Penny shrugged, averting her eyes. She knew it was ridiculous, the sudden thrill that was running through her. Sure, Tommy had come back—but that didn’t mean he was going to stay. That didn’t mean that he was the same boy she’d once cared so much about.

  “So you admit that you’re in a good mood!”

  “I’m in a better mood. Not a good mood.” It was the truth. Though she was feeling better, she wasn’t allowing herself to fully enjoy it.

  “Well, what happened?” Amy pulled a stool up to sit in front of Penny.

  “I…ran into an old friend last night, that’s all.”

  “Which old friend?”

  “It’s funny—we were just talking about him—”

  “No way!” Amy gasped, covering her mouth with her hands, her eyes wide. “You’re lying!”

  “I haven’t even told you—”

  “Tommy Davidson is not back in Ravenside.”

  “Well, I don’t know for how long. I mean, he could even be gone by now. I wasn’t exactly…well, let’s just say that he’s probably used to much warmer welcomes.” Amy’s eyes grew impossibly wider.

  “Penelope!” Amy shook her head. “I can’t believe you!”

  “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.” Penny thought back to the night before. Beneath the anger she felt toward Tommy, she really was happy to see him. For whatever inexplicable reason, she felt lighter than she had in months.

  “You should have told me about this last night! I can’t believe that Thomson Davis is here, in Ravenside, and you didn’t even tell me—”

  “His name is Tommy Davidson,” Penny corrected, rising to her feet to place her coffee mug in the sink. “Now, if you don’t mind, it’s time for me to head out to the restaurant.” She began slipping on her shoes, dread seeping into her body for the first time all morning.

  At that moment, the doorbell rang. Penny offered Amy a confused look before the fair blonde made her way toward the front door. “Oh my god,” Penny hurried into the room, instantly covering her mouth with her hand to cover the smile forming there.

  “Good morning, Penny Lane,” Tommy leaned against the doorway, holding two cups of coffee in his hands. “How about I walk you to work?”

  “That’s really not necessary—”

  “I insist.” And Penny rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she stepped forward. Amy met her eyes as she passed by and Penny knew what she was thinking: Amy wanted all of the details.

  “Well, if you insist,”

  “I do.” Tommy turned to Amy then, flashing her his best million-dollar smile. “It was nice seeing you again, Amy,”

  “Have a good day, you two.” There was just the vaguest hint of suggestion in her voice as Penny passed through the door. Tommy handed her one of the cups in his hand.

  “So, do you forgive me yet?”

  “I think it’s going to take more than a cup of coffee for me to forget ten years of silence, Tommy.”

  “How about a cup of coffee, lunch, and maybe—if you’re lucky—dinner too?”

  “If I’m lucky?” Penny laughed, shaking her head. “Aren’t you supposed to be trying to make me forgive you?”

  “I’ll throw in some dessert too.”

  “That sounds like you’re planning out an entire day for me.” She stopped, looking up at him.

  “You know, I think you might be right. It does kind of seem that way.” Penny raised an eyebrow.

  “Some of us have to work, Tommy. I know it’s probably a foreign concept to you, but—”

  “We’ll be dining at The Seaside, of course. I wouldn’t even think to give my patro
nage to some other local business.” Penny couldn’t help but smile. Tommy reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “What do you say?”

  “I say we’ll start with lunch. And if that goes well, we’ll see what happens from there.”

  Because as much as she might have wanted to accept Tommy’s proposal for spending the day together, she couldn’t help but worry it might be a mistake.

  She’d learned well enough by now not to get her hopes up.

  Lunch seemed to take an eternity to arrive. Penelope spent the morning as she usually did—smiling at customers, helping around the kitchen, playing hostess. And every time the door opened, she found herself looking up expectantly.

  And every time it wasn’t Tommy, she would curse herself.

  It was silly, she knew, the sudden joy she felt just knowing that he was here. And it wasn’t just that he was here, he was here for her. That was the part she just couldn’t get over.

  Tommy had always had a way of making Penny feel special. He could have had his pick of just about any girl in high school, and for whatever reason, he’d chosen her. That’s not to say that he hadn’t dated—of course he had, so had she. But she had always taken comfort in knowing that Tommy always held her above the rest.

  The same had always been true for her as well, though she had never made a point of telling him that.

  The door opened once more and Penny turned, this time her eyes coming to rest on Gina and Kevin, returning from lunch. She clenched her jaw as the younger woman met her eyes from across the room, her arm wrapped around Penny’s soon-to-be ex-husband. Staking her claim.

  Penny turned her eyes away and crossed the room, pasting a faux smile on her face as she struck up a conversation with two of her regulars who had just finished their meal and were about to leave. She made sure to inquire about their grandkids, as they had recently left to return home from their summer vacation.

  When they finally left, Penny turned to clearing the table to keep herself busy.

  “I know working is a foreign concept to me and all, but isn’t there someone else who should be doing this?” Penny nearly jumped out of her skin, so surprised by his voice. She brought her hand to her chest, as if to try and calm her heart down—a futile attempt, she realized, as she turned to find Tommy standing there with his perfect smile and her heart fluttered rapidly once more.

  “I believe in extending a hand to the little people, Tommy. A concept you could use a little bit of familiarization with, I say.” She raised an eyebrow at him as she turned to make her way toward the kitchen. Tommy followed closely behind.

  “Hey, I donate to charity—”

  “Oh right, it’s remembering the little people that you seem to have a problem with. My mistake.” She knew she shouldn’t be so harsh, but she really couldn’t help herself from taking a few digs here and there. She had to remind him that things between them were not okay, even if she felt the opposite.

  “I came back, Pen,” his voice was very quiet and as she set the dishes on the counter, she risked a glance over her shoulder. His expression was solemn, his forehead creased with sadness. And, like so many times before, her heart went out to him.

  “Well, we might as well eat then, don’t you think?” Tommy looked up, meeting her eyes, and Penny smiled.

  Maybe she had been wrong last night, when she said that they would never be friends again.

  Because there, in that moment, Penny couldn’t think of anything she would like more.

  Tommy sat across from Penny, the ocean to their right, the meal between them freshly delivered, the clouds above them threatening rain. He had been to hundreds of restaurants over the last several years, a majority of them run by gourmet chefs and situated in the most breathtaking setting possible. He’d sat across from Hollywood starlets and supermodels.

  Yet he’d never once felt as calm, relaxed, or even happy as he did sitting right there.

  Strange, the effect returning home could have on a person.

  This last thought surprised him, as Tommy had never really considered Ravenside home. Actually, he’d never really considered any of the cities or towns he’d lived in as ‘home’. But now that he thought about it, it was the closest thing he’d ever had to such a dream.

  “So tell me about everything I’ve missed,” he asked of her, really only to hear her voice. “How are your parents? And Amy—what is she up to?”

  “My parents are good. They retired to Florida. Sold the business.” Penny shrugged her shoulders and Tommy thought about the people who had raised the girl sitting across from him. He had always thought the Langs were the perfect family. They always seemed so happy.

  “They sold the movie store?” Tommy thought back to the many memories that had been created there in that tiny little rental store. He and Penny had spent countless amounts of hours there, arguing over what movie to take home for the evening. Sometimes, he would even spend her shift with her, the two of them watching movies in between customers.

  “Yeah, with internet rentals being so popular these days, and the bigger chains moving closer to town…” Penny shrugged her shoulders again and he could tell it bothered her to think about it. He wondered if she was thinking about the same thing as he was—remembering all of the memories they had made there, sitting on that couch toward the back of the store, passing time. “They sold it. It’s a candle store now, I think.”

  “Well, I guess everyone needs candles.” Tommy took a bite of the food, enjoying the home cooked flavor.

  “And Amy has been doing well. She’s married now, with two daughters.” Penny averted her eyes then, staring down at the plate in front of her. He wondered if she too was married—he couldn’t imagine that she would still be single, after all these years. Not his Penny Lane. Not if she’d given anyone a chance.

  But when he glanced down at her hand, he saw no ring there.

  For the briefest moment, though, he thought he noticed a tan line where a ring might have once been.

  This was the kind of thing Tommy had grown accustomed to looking for. He had been caught in enough scandals by now to have learned to look for the signs. Just because a woman said she was single didn’t mean she really was.

  He didn’t let himself believe for even the briefest moment though that Penny was that kind of a woman.

  “What about you, Pen? How have you been?” It was a risky question, one he wasn’t sure he was prepared to hear the answer to. He knew that it shouldn’t matter to him if she was married. That wasn’t why he was there.

  No, Tommy had never wanted anything more than friendship with Penny.

  For just an instant, though, he thought about the last time he’d seen her. The way she’d kissed him, bringing to life an entire fantasy of a reality he’d had no idea he’d even been contemplating.

  But that was then, and this was now. He wouldn’t let anything ruin the friendship they had—the friendship he was trying so hard to get back. He didn’t deserve even that much, but it was still something worth trying for.

  “I’ve been…busy.” She looked around the empty patio, smiling sadly. “It takes a lot of work, making a dream a reality. Haven’t had much time for anything else.” He noticed that she avoided looking him directly in the eye and Tommy couldn’t help but be curious. Was she hiding something? Or was it simply the passage of time, building a wall between the two that neither would be able to overcome?

  “Well, it’s amazing, Pen. I mean, what I’ve seen of it anyway.”

  “Do you want a tour?” she could have been offering him a trip to a battlefield and he would have gone, if only to be with her.

  “Well, of course I do,” he slid back in his chair, waiting for her to do the same, before he followed her back inside. It really was beautiful, very simple yet still elegant. He could see a great deal of Penny in the place.

  A few framed photos hung on the walls—pictures of Ravenside, old and new. Paintings of the ocean.

  And then Tommy stopped suddenly, h
is eyes coming to rest on a very familiar photo. There was a section toward the back of the restaurant, just off the side of the bar, which featured a different kind of framed photo.

  “I didn’t want to let them go to waste. Besides, most of the people in town know me as Elliot and Marion’s daughter.”

  “That’s me, Penny.”

  “Of course it is. I couldn’t have a wall of movie posters and not include you on it.” Penny shrugged. “Dad handed the posters out the day the movie was released. Ran a ‘We-knew-him-when’ special.”

  “I had no idea.”

  “I know you didn’t. That’s what happens when you run away, Tommy. You lose contact with the people who cared about you most.”

  He stepped forward finally, looking around at the various movie posters. Most of them were classics—films he and Penny had loved. Three of them were from his movies.

  Not for the first time, Tommy wished he could take it all back.

  He reached out for Penny’s hand, surprised to find that she took it. “But I’m here now, Pen.”

  “That’s right. You’re here now. But who’s to say how long that’s going to last, Tommy?” There was just the vaguest hint of a tremor in her voice and Tommy clenched his jaw. How could he have hurt her? It was a wound much too deep for a simple apology. But what more could he offer? He had nothing she wanted. Nothing she needed.

  No way of making it up to her.

  He looked down at her, a strange pain in his chest.

  “I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me, Penny Lane. I promise.” Penny said nothing for several long moments.

  “So I guess we’re on for dinner then, aren’t we?” Tommy chuckled quietly.

  “And, if I recall correctly, I think dessert was included in that proposition.” Penny finally looked up to meet his eyes.

  “Don’t push your luck, Mr. Davidson. Or should I call you Mr. Davis?” She teased, her eyebrow raised. Tommy chuckled again, shaking his head.

  “It’s Mr. Davidson for you, Ms. Penny Lane.” Penny smiled sadly again, nodding her head. “Well, I guess I should let you get back to work, shouldn’t I?” The restaurant was beginning to come back to life and Tommy was doing his best to keep a low profile.