Heartfelt Lies

by Kristy Love

  She must have felt me staring at her because her eyes swung to mine and held. Her beauty took my breath away and I really wanted to do things to her that weren’t appropriate for a diner. Her smile slipped off her face and she froze, staring at me.

  Slowly, she made her way to the table and my heart pounded.

  Our eyes stayed locked on each other as she moved closer.

  “Hi. My name’s Cassie. I’ll be your server this morning,” she greeted us. Her voice was slightly husky, but still utterly feminine and had a slight southern twinge to it. Her eyes flicked over to Will and Ry before coming back and resting on me. “Can I start y’all off with a drink?”

  “I’ll have a coffee with cream and sugar, please,” Ry said.

  “I’ll have a coffee, too,” Will said. “Black.”

  “Great.” Cassie seemed to steel herself before looking at me. “What can I get you?”

  I wanted to tell her I wanted her. On the table. Now. But I knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. “I’ll have coffee and a water.”

  “Sure.” She lowered her voice. “I’ll be right back.” She walked backwards, not breaking our eye contact until she almost bumped into another waitress. The other waitress put a hand on her shoulder, breaking the spell. Cassie turned, said something to the other waitress and disappeared into the kitchen. I stared after her until she disappeared.

  “You should ask for her number,” Ry said, smiling slyly.

  “Calm down, Ry,” I responded. She was a huge meddler and always wanted to get involved in stuff she shouldn’t.

  “You like her.”

  “I ordered coffee. That’s hardly a basis for a relationship.”

  She scoffed. “You were undressing her with your eyes,” she said, widening her eyes to emphasize her point.

  I picked up a napkin and threw it at her. “Stop being stupid.”

  “I’m not being stupid. You’re being stupid.”

  Before things could escalate any more, Will put his hand on top of Ry’s. “Jax can get her number if he wants to, Ry. Let it go.”

  She pouted at him. “She’s cute.”

  Will rolled his eyes at her. “Stop. You’re being impossible.”

  She smirked at him before turning her attention back to me. “How is Mom doing?”

  “Fine.”

  “We all need to get together soon. I haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks.”

  “You’ve been a bit busy getting moved into your new place with loverboy over there.”

  “It’s like hanging out with toddlers,” Will muttered to himself. Ry and I burst out laughing. Will was almost always serious and Ry and I enjoyed giving him a hard time.

  “How’s it going, living with Mom?” Ry asked. Before I could answer, Cassie came back to give us our drinks.

  “Are y’all ready to order?” Cassie asked. We all gave her our orders and she avoided looking at me. “Sure. I’ll get that in for y’all. If you need anything, let me know.” She smiled and turned.

  “She is cute,” Will mused. I kicked him under the table.

  “Shut up. Don’t work with Ry.”

  Ry kissed the side of his face. “He’s always working with me.”

  I threw my hands up. “I will not hear about my sister’s sex life!” Will laughed and Ry stuck her tongue out at me. “Who’s acting like a toddler now?”

  We talked some more until Cassie brought our food over. Our hands brushed against each other when she set my plate down. Her eyes shot to mine and her cheeks turned pink. I mumbled a sorry and she pulled her hand away as though I was on fire.

  I kept stealing glances at Cassie as we ate our breakfast. She was cute, but I didn’t want to get involved with someone who lived an hour away. Instead, I enjoyed my time with Will and Ry. They enjoyed making me uncomfortable.

  It felt like I was home.

  IT HAD BEEN a week since Ry, Will, and I had gone to Deena’s Diner for breakfast. Even though I’d hardly talked to Cassie, I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I kept thinking about her and wishing I could hear her voice again.

  So I drove back to Deena’s Diner and sat in the same booth we had last week. I was here before Ry and Will, hoping I’d get to talk to Cassie before they showed up. As though she could read my mind, she pushed her way out of the kitchen, brushing her apron off. She looked as amazing as she had the week before. Her eyes slid up to mine and she smiled.

  “I didn’t expect to see you again,” she said when she got to the table.

  “Yeah. The food was good, so I decided to come back.”

  She laughed. “It’s good, but it’s not that good.”

  “So what if I had another reason?”

  She smiled and her cheeks blushed lightly. “Can I get you a drink?”

  “You’re just going to blow me off like that?”

  “I don’t know what to say!” she said, laughing.

  “Give me your number and we can figure out what to say later.” I smiled at her, hoping she’d give me her number and I could figure out what made her so irresistible to me.

  The smile slid off her face and she suddenly got serious. “Is anyone else joining you?”

  I looked at her a beat before answering. “Yeah.”

  “I’ll get you a drink while you wait. What would you like?”

  I couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she wasn’t giving me her number. “Coffee, please.”

  She nodded and turned. I’d have to figure out a way to get her attention another way.

  Ry and Will showed up a little while later. Our breakfast went the same as it had for the months since we began this tradition. We joked, made Will uncomfortable, and hung out. We made plans to hang out with our mom that weekend and then went our separate ways. I offered to pay the bill, so I left the money on the table. Then, I went back home to make sure Mom was okay.

  SINCE RY HADN’T seen our mom in a while, she and Will were coming over to spend some time with her.

  My mom and I both worked a lot of hours. With her at the hardware store, her schedule changed all the time. To help pay the bills, I was working at a landscaping company, doing grunt work. I mostly loaded deliveries in the trucks and got them ready to go. My mom and I didn’t make much money, but it didn’t matter. We did what we could and enjoyed the simple life we had.

  My mom and I prepared the burgers and put them on the grill. Ry and Will showed up and my mom gave Ry a glass of wine. Will refused to drink at all. When he was seventeen, he rebelled against his parents for the first time and went out to a party and drank. That same night, he had a drunken friend drive him home. Unfortunately, his drunk friend crashed into another car, which Will’s parents were in and they were killed. Since then, he swore off alcohol and didn’t seem to mind at all. He didn’t care if other people around him drank, so long as they didn’t drive.

  At dinner, my mom poured a beer into a glass and Ry looked at me, raising her eyebrows. I shrugged. My mom had a beer or two at night to unwind after a long day. At first I worried that it would cause her to relapse, but she seemed to handle it fine. I kept an eye on her, though I let her live her life. I usually enjoyed a couple drinks with her. It had almost become a bonding thing between us.

  “How’s work, Mom?” Ry asked, spearing some asparagus on her fork.

  My mom smiled. “Good. I’m getting promoted to manager soon.”

  “That’s great!”

  “Yeah. I’m excited. It’ll help pay the bills, for sure.”

  “Are you having trouble?” Ry asked, looking at our mom. This was the first time I had heard anything about any problem paying the bills. I thought we were doing fine.

  “Well, you know, Jax will be going back to college soon and it’ll be just me.”

  “You made it last school year and all the years before that,” Ry said.

  “Oh, I’ll make it. You know, stuff just comes up, honey.” My mom smiled, though it seemed slightly forced.

  “Life happens, right, Leslie?” Will sai
d, sounding casual. He was probably trying to calm Ry down. She seemed to question whether our mom was telling the truth, but I saw no reason to doubt her.

  “It sure does, Will,” my mom said, beaming at Will. She loved Will. She thought he was perfect for Ry. He certainly kept her grounded.

  “Are you moving back on campus, Jax?” Ry asked. Since Will was living with Ry now, if I moved back into a dorm, I would have a new roommate at school.

  “I’m not sure. I don’t want to drive back and forth every day, that’s for sure. But I’d feel bad leaving Mom.”

  “Oh, stop it,” my mom said. “You are only young once, Jaxon. Go live the college life. I’m not going anywhere.” She smiled. “I’d also like to help you move on campus. I want to meet your roommate and see where you’ll be living.”

  We continued talking as we ate. My mom got a couple more beers. I didn’t worry about it, but Ry was concerned. Ry pulled me to the side before they left.

  “What’s going on, Jax? She’s drinking.”

  “She’s fine. She’s just letting off a little steam.”

  “Has she been drinking a lot? It doesn’t seem like tonight is the first time.” Ry eyed me suspiciously.

  “No, not a lot.” She wasn’t drinking a lot, at least not what I would classify as a great deal. She had a couple beers after work to relax and that was it. She always cut herself off before she got too far. To me, she seemed responsible about it.

  “Just keep an eye on her. I don’t want her to relapse.”

  “It’s just a few drinks, Ry. It’s not heroin.”

  “She’s been clean for so long, I don’t want her to mess it up.”

  “I told you she’s fine, Ry. I’ve got it taken care of.”

  Ry studied me. “Hey, Mom,” she said, still eyeing me. My mom walked over, smiling.

  “Yeah?” my mom said.

  Ry turned to her, smiling. “You’re drinking.” I sighed and rolled my eyes. Leave it to Ry to overreact.

  My mom’s smile faltered. “Yes. It’s just a couple of beers, Ryanne. It’s no big deal.”

  “You know you can relapse even if it’s beer, right? Any kind of substance means you aren’t sober.”

  “I’m not on heroin, honey. I can handle it.” My mom looked and sounded so confident that it was easy to believe her. Ry visibly relaxed.

  “Okay. I just . . . I just want you to be okay, Mom. I love you.” Ry hugged her and my mom squeezed her back.

  “I love you, too. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

  Ry nodded and turned toward me. “I’ll see you Thursday, right?”

  “Yep.”

  “Want to go back to Deena’s?”

  “It depends on how the week goes. I’ll let you know.”

  “Okay, just let me know.” She leaned over and hugged me, placing a kiss on my cheek.

  “Will do. Love you, sis,” I said.

  “Love you too, little brother.”

  They left and my mom and I worked at cleaning up. I texted a few friends and asked them if they wanted to come over and hang out. I didn’t have work in the morning, so I wanted to enjoy the rest of the night. I had just gotten a new video game.

  A few of the guys came over and we played games for a couple hours. My mom hung out with us and pretended to know what was going on in the game, but she was really clueless. She had a couple more beers and was bordering on drunk. Her speech was a little slurred, but she seemed fine. She cut herself off and went to bed.

  I stayed up a little bit longer with the guys and had a few more drinks before calling it a night. All I needed for things to be even better was for Cassie to contact me. Then, things would be pretty damned close to perfect.

  I LOOKED AT the receipt again. For the millionth time that week, I wondered if it was real. I held my phone in my hand, the numbers already punched in. All I needed to do was press the call button and I’d know the answer to the question that had been bugging me all week. But as usual, I deleted the number and put my phone back in my pocket.

  I would solve the mystery another time.

  Last week I was surprised to see him back in the diner. I had thought about him a few times, sure. He was undeniably attractive with his messy brown hair and beautiful green eyes. He was tall and walked with confidence. There was something about the way he moved that caught my eye. I couldn’t look away when he walked through the diner. Even though it was hot outside, he had on a brown leather jacket that fit him so perfectly I wondered if it was custom-made. His jeans hugged his ass in ways . . . I couldn’t think about. Those jeans did things to me that were embarrassing. I liked his voice and the way his eyes seemed to caress me when he talked to me

  Okay, he was damned sexy and I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

  When he came in the first time, I was intrigued, but I had moved on. My life was too busy to get hung up on a guy, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. When he came in the second time, I couldn’t fight the way my heart skipped a beat. Secretly, I hoped he came back to see me, but I knew the chances of that were slim. A guy like him couldn’t be single.

  But it seemed I was wrong. He asked me for my number and I refused to give it to him. My life was anything but simple and I couldn’t imagine adding another element to it. I was too strapped for time as it was.

  Unfortunately, my mind and body had other plans. I thought about him too much, especially for someone who was a stranger. I chalked it up to the fact my body really liked him.

  I had been able to shoot him down, though I hated doing it, and I thought the matter was closed. I got him and the people he ate with their drinks and food and always had a smile on my face. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes off him, but he was like a magnet. I couldn’t not look at him.

  Instead of waiting for me to come back to take their money and give them change, they left the money for their bill on the table. Since I refused to give him my number, I was afraid they stiffed me. Whether it was to not pay the check or leave no tip, either would suck.

  I hadn’t been expecting a fifty dollar tip, though. Who tips fifty dollars on eggs and bacon?

  Even more surprising than the windfall was the note he left on the back of the receipt. I almost didn’t believe it was for me, but my name was on it.

  Cassie,

  Roses are red,

  Violets are blue,

  I’ve never seen anyone

  As beautiful as you.

  Here’s my number,

  Don’t be a stranger,

  I think of you in my slumber.

  I fear my heart’s in danger.

  Text or call

  Night or day

  It doesn’t matter at all.

  I’ll be waiting for you.

  Jax

  I stared at the receipt for a good ten minutes, my mouth hanging open. Instead of letting me turn him down, he put the ball in my court and I’d be damned if I didn’t want to return it.

  So, for the last week, I had carried that damned scrap of paper with me everywhere, praying I’d get up the courage to call or text him. I didn’t want to love the cheesy poem he’d left me on the back of the receipt, but I did.

  The thought of learning more about him was scary. Again, my life was complicated.

  It was Wednesday night and I was sitting on my bed, awaiting the courage to make a move. Each of the last two Thursday mornings he had shown up at the diner. I couldn’t let my nerves rule me, though. How awkward would it be if I didn’t at least attempt to contact him?

  Instead of living with regret, I decided to send him a text.

  Cassie: Hi. This is Cassie. Is this Jax?

  I waited for an hour, holding my phone with my heart in my throat before all hope died.

  I was such a fool.

  I WOKE UP to a text from Jax and was beyond excited to hear back from him.

  Jax: Sorry I didn’t text back sooner. I had a late shift at work. I won’t be able to make it into the diner today. I’ll miss seeing you.

  My heart jum
ped into my throat. He hadn’t been blowing me off? Even though I wanted to keep him waiting, I responded right away.

  Cassie: I thought you were blowing me off.

  Jax: No. Definitely not blowing you off. We had a big delivery today, so I was working late loading up some trucks.

  Cassie: That sounds exhausting.

  Jax: It was. I have another long day today or we’d be in to see you this morning.

  Cassie: I understand how it is.

  Jax: I’ll text you later today when I’m done with work.

  I slid my phone back into my pocket, smiling.

  Whether it was a mistake or not, I couldn’t fight the desire to talk to Jax. It was too strong. I felt selfish, but didn’t I deserve that once in a while?

  I went back to work, and my shift seemed to crawl. I couldn’t wait to get home.

  I OPENED THE door to my apartment and was immediately tackled.

  “Momma!” Ben yelled as he wrapped himself around my legs. I picked him up to kiss his head before setting him back on the floor. He immediately went back to his trains.

  Ben was my two-year-old son. I found out I was pregnant with him a little over a month into my freshman year in college. I’d moved about two hours away to go to George Mason University and never made it back home. If it wasn’t for my neighbor, Maria, there was no way Ben and I would have been able to make it. I stroked my son’s light brown hair and went into the kitchen, finding Maria making dinner.

  “I already told you that you don’t have to make dinner for us,” I said. I picked up a carrot and popped it in my mouth.

  “You’ve worked all day. Just because you’re a single mother doesn’t mean you don’t deserve some pampering every once in a while.” Maria was an angel. I finished my first year at GMU before finding an apartment and moving out of the dorms. On the day I was moving in, I met her and my life immediately went from hopeless to hopeful. She gave me some furniture that she didn’t need and helped me search garage sales for stuff for the baby. Two weeks after I moved into my apartment, I went into labor with Ben. She was there for me through the whole labor and delivery. She became my mother and Ben’s grandmother.