by Kristy Love
“No, don’t stop.”
His brows furrowed for a second as he looked down at me, studying my face. I ran my hand down and wrapped it around him, not giving him a choice. Suddenly, I needed his hands on me more than anything.
He went back to touching and kissing me, though it wasn’t enough. I needed more. Now.
“Jax, please,” I begged.
“What do you want?” He was still kissing my neck and chest, seemingly unable to decide what part of my body needed the attention more.
“I want you inside me.”
He didn’t waste any time. He slipped his boxers and my panties off, tossing them on the floor, then sank inside me. I pressed my head back into the pillow. It didn’t matter how many times he was inside me, or how many times he touched me, it was always better than the time before. I couldn’t get enough. His touch was addicting.
As he moved, he leaned down, whispering in my ear, telling me how much he loved me, all the things he wanted to do with me, to me. Before long, I was calling out, though I bit my lip, not wanting to wake up Ben. Jax stiffened and rested his head on my forehead, his eyes closed as he collected himself.
After I cleaned up and we were back in bed, he pulled me close, tucking me close to his body. I fell asleep, wrapped up in Jax.
I WAS PACING back and forth in the bedroom, panicking. Jax had just taken Ben to Thomas’ for a sleepover and I was seriously going to throw up and cry. I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t. Too much was anchoring me to this place, though it didn’t stop the churning of my stomach and the pacing of my feet.
Jax startled me in the bedroom doorway and I almost screamed. I was so wrapped up in my own mind that I hadn’t heard him come in. We’d been living together now three months. Seeing him almost brought me to my knees and tears burned my eyes.
“What’s wrong, Cassie?” He strode over to me and pulled me into his arms.
“I’m sorry, Jax. I’m so sorry.” The tears I had barely been holding back spilled over, sliding down my cheeks.
“You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“I’m sorry.” I was all I could say, all I could think. I was terrified.
“You’re scaring the shit out of me, Cassie. Please just tell me what has you so freaked out.”
I took a deep breath and pulled away from him, giving him the space he’d need to freak out. “I’m pregnant.”
His eyes widened and he studied my face as though he was trying to figure out if I was telling the truth. “You’re pregnant?”
“Yes. I’m so sorry. I know it’s too soon and we aren’t even married yet. I’m sorry. I have no idea what happened. You know I’m religious about taking the pill. It must have been an accident or something.”
He dropped to his knees, gazing up at me, his eyes filled with wonder. He gently lifted my shirt enough to reveal my belly, still mostly flat. After Ben, it hadn’t ever flattened completely, but it definitely wasn’t showing any signs of the life growing inside. It couldn’t have been more than ten weeks. My heart raced as I waited for Jax’s reaction. He traced his fingers over my stomach and stared at it, seemingly in amazement.
What he did next took my breath away.
“Hey, little baby. You don’t know me yet, but I’m your daddy. I love you so much, baby, so much. You’re going to be so loved. Your mom, big brother, and I can’t wait to meet you.” He pressed his lips to my stomach and lingered there. When he pulled his lips away, he ran his fingers over my stomach again before standing in front of me and pulling me into his arms. “I love you, Cassie. Thank you so much.”
I pulled away, shocked. “You’re thanking me?”
“Yes. Thank you for giving me a family. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and now it’s growing. I’m so happy. So fucking happy.”
I smiled, still unsure. I’d expected him to be mad, to walk out, make me and Ben leave. I knew the timing was wrong, but I couldn’t change it. “Are you sure?”
“I’m totally sure. Who cares if it’s too soon? We’ve always made up our own time frame. I wanted to have a baby with you as soon as we were married anyway; this just means we have to move up wedding plans.”
“You still want to get married?”
“Yes. Soon. Before the baby’s born. I want to call you my wife.”
“Of course.” My mind was spinning. I didn’t know how to process what he was saying. He wasn’t upset. He seemed completely thrilled.
“There’s another thing,” he said, his voice more hesitant.
“What?”
He seemed hesitant and I worried about what he had to say. “I’d like to adopt Ben. I mean, if that’s okay with you. I know he’s not biologically my son, but I love him so much and I consider him my son. I want to be his dad, legally.”
I covered my mouth with my hands. “Oh, Jax.”
“I already got the paperwork, we just need to fill it out and send it in.”
I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. “That’s perfect. You’re perfect. He’d love that.”
Jax smiled before pulling my lips to his, kissing me hard, passionately.
CASSIE AND I got married when she was four months pregnant, before she was showing too much. She wore a beautiful ivory dress and that was all I really remembered about it. It hugged her in the right places and she looked stunning and she was happy. The ceremony and reception were small, only the little bit of family we had and the few friends. Cassie’s mom drove in and stayed with us. At first she wasn’t too sure about me, but I quickly charmed her into liking me. I was shameless, but it worked out.
We’d talked about having a bigger wedding, but Cassie didn’t want that. After what happened previously, she wanted something small and with only the people who meant the most to us. Her mom and Roxie were there and I had Ry and Will. We invited a handful of friends. There were less than fifty people altogether and it was great. We got to spend time with the people we loved as they celebrated our new life with us.
“Here you are,” Cassie said, coming up behind me. “You know, you’re making my life harder by holding her while she sleeps.”
I gazed down at the little baby in my arms, cradling her head. She had her mother’s red hair, though it was actually more like peach fuzz. Even though her eyes were closed, I knew the green-blue eyes were there and she totally got those from me. Her little hand was wrapped around my finger as she slept peacefully. I smiled down at her.
Cassie’s pregnancy went smoothly. According to her, it was a lot easier than her pregnancy with Ben, which we attributed to stress. This time around I made sure she was well taken care of. I indulged her every craving and let her get plenty of rest. I read a ton of pregnancy and parenting books and went to every appointment with her. I waited on Cassie hand and foot. She joked that she’d spend as much time pregnant as she could just so I’d keep treating her like a queen.
Little did she know, I wasn’t ever going to stop treating her like a queen.
Ben took news of the pregnancy well. He was excited, though a little disappointed that he wasn’t getting a new dog right away. Luckily, Smokie kept him on his toes. The two of them were best friends; Smokie even liked Ben more than me now. I’d be offended if I didn’t understand.
Ben was pretty fucking awesome.
“I just can’t get enough of her.”
“You have her for the rest of your life.”
“I know.” I smiled as my heart warmed. As soon as the baby was born, I loved her fiercely; I’d do anything I could to make her happy.
“She’s beautiful,” Cassie whispered.
“Just like her mom.”
“Stop.” She smiled though.
“Never.” I leaned over and kissed her forehead. I stroked the baby’s cheek. Her eyes opened for a second before drifting shut again. “Hi, little Haven.”
We decided on Haven Jade. It was beautiful and meaningful, just like her.
The baby stirred in my arms and let out a little cry before screaming loudly.
“She’s hungry,” Cassie said, reaching her arms out. I kissed Haven’s head before handing her over. “Come here, baby girl.”
I smiled. It seemed I couldn’t stop smiling these days. Haven was only two weeks old and she was a great baby so far. She slept a lot and ate a lot, and that was about it. We had the crazy diaper blow outs and crying, of course, but nothing too bad. We handled everything as it came, though I shouldn’t have worried, ever. Cassie was an amazing mother. I knew she was a bit stressed out, as all new mothers were, but she handled everything like a pro. She breastfed Haven and helped Ben with homework. She made sure Ben still got a lot of attention and Haven got a ton of attention, naturally.
Cassie never ceased to amaze me.
Since we brought Haven home from the hospital, a kind of peaceful quietness had settled over me. I felt content in my own skin, which was something I hadn’t felt in a long time. I didn’t have to worry anymore. I had the girl I loved and a growing family. I didn’t have to keep proving to everyone that I was okay, because I was okay.
The doorbell rang. “I’ll go get it,” I said. Cassie didn’t look up from Haven, she kept rocking in the chair and feeding her, crooning softly to the baby.
I opened the door and Ry, Will, and Roxie pushed passed me. They were here frequently, wanting to see the baby. Today they were here for a dinner I was supposed to be cooking. I should have been cooking already, but I got lost in staring at my baby girl.
“Ben, we brought presents!” Roxie called. Ben came charging down the hall and hugged them all.
“What’d you bring?” Ben asked, bouncing. Everyone had made an extra effort to make sure Ben still felt included. It wasn’t presents, usually. Everyone at different times took him to do things. Will took him paint balling; Roxie took him to the movies; Ry took him to the park. They made sure to ask about his life and to spend time with him so he didn’t feel like the baby was taking all the focus away.
I was so damned proud of my little family.
As soon as Cassie told me she was pregnant, we worked on me adopting Ben. It took a while, though it was a lot easier and quicker since his biological father had already terminated his rights. Ben was ecstatic when we told him our plans. He hugged me and had been calling me Dad ever since. I loved being someone’s dad. I promised myself that both Ben and Haven would never have a dad like the one I had and they’d never have the life I had. They’d never worry whether their parents loved them.
We’d always love them.
Cassie came out of the bedroom holding Haven. Roxie and Ry immediately descended on her, fawning over the baby.
Yet again, I smiled.
I went into the kitchen and started making dinner. It was going to be easy, burgers and hot dogs with macaroni and cheese. Ben’s favorite foods.
Yeah, I spoiled him, but he was such a good kid that it wasn’t a problem. At least, that’s what I told Cassie.
When the food was on the table, we all sat out on the back deck and ate.
After so many years of it being just Ry and me, it was amazing to have all these people around me who were my family and who I loved so completely. I watched Roxie teasing Ben, and Ry cooing over Haven. My heart swelled.
I never thought I’d have this.
Ry handed the baby to Roxie and cleared her throat, bring all attention to her. “I have an announcement to make,” she said, grabbing Will’s hand.
“You’d better not be moving,” Roxie warned. Roxie and Ry had become friends and they spent a lot of time together. Sisterly bonding is what Roxie called it.
“Well, we’re moving, but we’re staying in the same neighborhood. We just need a bigger house.” Ry took a deep breath and smiled nervously at everyone around the table. “I’m pregnant.”
“What?” Roxie yelled, jumping out of her seat.
“Congratulations, guys,” Cassie said.
I stood up and pulled Ry into my arms. “Congrats, Ry.” I shook Will’s hand. “This means I’m going to be an uncle?”
“Yeah. I’m having twins, so you’ll be a double uncle.” Ry grinned.
My eyes widened in shock. “Twins?! That’s amazing! Double congratulations!”
I walked over and wrapped Cassie in my arms, kissing her on the side of her head and stroking Haven’s cap of silken hair. Ben came over and I wrapped an arm around him, too. I held my little family in my arms and watched Roxie asking Ry a million questions.
All around me—this was my little family.
And it was perfect.
The End
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UNDONE SERIES
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COMING SOON
Roxie’s Story
HERE I AM again. I’m publishing book two. I never thought I’d be here, with two books out in the world for people to read. I owe so much to so many people, I’m afraid words will never be enough.
To my husband, Josh. Thank you for your endless encouragement, your gentle (or not so gentle) nudging, and for being forgiving. I know there were times I slacked off and you never gave me any grief. Thank you for still believing me.
To my girls. I love you both so much. Thank you for your patience and being proud of your mom. I hope I can keep making you proud. You make me proud every day.
To my editor, Brenda Letendre. You have been an endless fount of knowledge, encouragement, and kindness. I seriously am so glad I stumbled upon you. You made editing painless and stress-free. I’m so glad I got a chance to work with you! Thank you for your hours of talking to me about any and all things book-related, even if it wasn’t about my book. It’s been great getting to know you.
To Sarah Hansen at Okay Creations: You left me speechless again. I have no idea how you take one sentence and turn it into such beauty, but you do. I love working with you and I love your designs. Thank you so much!
To Christine Borgford at Perfectly Publishable: Thank you, thank you, thank you. You jumped right in and have been amazing to work with. Thank you for everything!
To Alexis Durbin at Indie Girl Proofs: You seriously amaze me with your ability to spot errors, large and small. You’re an amazing proofreader and friend. Thank you so much!
To Nicole at Indie Sage: Thank you for the beautiful teasers and for your endless patience. You truly have an amazing eye for design.
To the lovely women at Between The Sheets Promotions: Girls, you rock. You are so knowledgeable, courteous, and amazing. I’m so glad I got the chance to work with you!
To Roxie Madar, you are the ultimate in beta fairy-ness. You’ve been an amazing friend, an amazing beta, and an amazing person. You truly are the embodiment of a great friend. Thank you for still being here with me and for all of your great input. This book wouldn’t be what it is without you. Thank you for inspiring the best character in the whole book. ;)
To Jaimee DeRouen: Oh, Glitters, you are so awesome. Thank you for laughing, crying, and spazzing out with me. Thank you for talking me off the ledge and verbally kicking my ass on many occasions. I can’t wait to go through this craziness with you again!
To Deana Wolstenholme: Thank you for your invaluable time and input. You’re a great beta reader!
To Casey Peltier: You’re one of my favorite ladies. Thank you for your epically awesome design skills and for being as amazing as you are. :)
To Stephanie Rose: I’ve enjoyed getting to know you and commiserating with you. I can’t wait to read more from you!
To Barb Salerno: Thank you for your amazing support and for being such an awesome person all around. I hope you like this
book as much as you liked The Fragile Fall!
To the wonderful girls in Indie Chicks Rock! I know I’m a new kid on the block, but you’ve all been so supportive and informative. I can’t wait to get to know you all more!
To all the bloggers I’ve met along the way who have been nothing but amazing and supportive and sweet: You all rock my socks off. Thank you for your support and for being excited with me. It means more than you can ever know. You help make the book world go ‘round. Thank you for your time. I know there are a lot of authors and books out there and you are truly appreciated.
To all the amazing, wonderful readers out there. Thank you for taking the time to pick up my book. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I loved writing it. Cassie and Jax weren’t always easy characters and weren’t always lovable, but I hope you loved them in spite of themselves. Thank you for picking my book up out of the mile long to read lists out there. It means so much to me, and to every author. Thank you a million times.
FROM THE TIME she was old enough to form words into sentences, Kristy Love has been writing stories. She attended La Roche College and graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in Professional Writing. When she’s not writing, Kristy can be found with her nose stuck in a book or spending time with her family and friends.
She lives with her husband and two girls in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
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