by Jillian Neal
She'd longed for Ford to fill her so full it would rob her of every doubt that anxiously picked her apart. He did that and so much more. He filled her to overflowing, leaving no room for uncertainties. Her body wept for friction that he denied, keeping himself so deep she could feel his sack rub against her sensitive pussy.
"Please," she urged again.
She turned to look back at him. The lust-fueled awe in his eyes quieted her need for him to move faster. He shuddered against her. "God, it's so good. It's not supposed to feel so damn good." His confusion was apparent in the grunted words.
The satisfaction of making him look like that, of making him sound like that, sated her thoroughly. He withdrew by mere inches and then sank balls deep once again. "Fucking love seeing your juices all over me. Fucking love this."
Another withdrawal and slow return made her tremble. "I'm making you mine, honey." And then she understood. He'd waited until her body gave way, until he'd fit her to his girth. "I'm gonna make you understand what it's like to be fucked by a man on fire for you. Tell me you're ready."
"So ready," she whimpered.
And then her cowboy rode. He ravaged her with brutal force, snatching the air from her lungs. The powerful grip of his hands on her hips, the heat of his body, the rough scrape of his leg hair against her thighs, the raw masculine scent of him filled what parts of her his cock wasn't occupying. Her entire world became Ford Holder. For the first time in her life, she had no doubts as to where she belonged. He was the answer to every question she'd ever wanted to ask.
Nothing about his dedicated thrusts felt like an invasion. No, they were a fulfillment.
Her pussy wrapped tight around him, begging on her behalf for him never to leave. If he wasn't there, the questions would return, and she never wanted to think about them again. She pressed back against him with every thrust, trying desperately to deepen their connection even further.
"Spread your legs further, baby. Put your head down. Take a hold of that headboard. Let me enjoy this."
Callie immediately obeyed. She had no doubts in this man. This was what she wanted—to see his restraint vanish, to see Ford finally wild. "Good girl," he spoke the words that had her writhing and trembling. And then, as if what he was already doing to her wasn't pure bliss on its own, he traced a rough finger to her clit and began to stroke. He freed something so deep inside of her she wasn't certain she knew how to survive without it. Something primal, instinctive. Something wild.
She clung to the rails of the headboard, but it was no use. She was going to shatter. She was going to fly. She seemed to exist in some kind of alternate state, neither here nor there. Only him. Desperate to understand how anyone could possibly make her feel like this, she slipped one hand from the slat and traced herself back to the place where his hand was working her clit. He roared.
She had to find some way to anchor herself in him. He was the only thing strong enough to hold her. "Please," she managed in a breathless whisper. "Please let me feel you."
This time he complied. His rough grip returned to her hip, and she managed to get two fingers to his latex wrapped cock as it slid wildly in and out of her. "Oh god," she groaned. She was soaked with pleasure. Another roar drowned out the storm.
"It's mine," he demanded. "Feel me own you, honey." His thumb began to tease between the cheeks of her ass, and she dropped her hand to claw at the sheets. Every pulse point of her body throbbed out her pleasure. "That feels good doesn't it. Feels so good right there. I know."
Her breaths disintegrated. Her thoughts both scrambled and then centered on the pure, uninhibited carnality he'd unleashed. The pressure overwhelmed her. She couldn't contain it.
His grip eased. He leaned forward over her allowing her to be fully absorbed by him. "Let yourself come, baby. I'll catch you," he soothed. "Then I'll take mine."
His vow to catch her shattered the locks she'd thought kept her safe. She flew. Her pussy spasmed and then milked his cock relentlessly. She trembled as he brought her to the mattress and held her tight. "You're so damn beautiful when you come for me," whispered in her ear. "So fucking perfect."
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ford's body was at war with itself. Nothing should ever have felt that good. Nothing should ever make him feel so certain. It was dangerous. But the absolution and the restoration he'd felt deep inside of Callie tore away the warnings chanting in his mind. He needed more. Desperate to heave himself upon the pyre in sacrifice, he knew precisely what he wanted and what he needed to do.
He gently eased his cock from her. He was so hard he could've driven fenceposts with his greed, but there was something he had to do before he gave himself to her. Turning her in his arms so she was facing him. "I know you're sore, baby. I'll be gentle this time."
She trembled in his arms and nuzzled her face against his chest, scattering kisses over his sweat-covered pecs. When she spun her tongue over his collarbone, tasting him, he groaned and tried to cling fast to some kind of control. She was far too good at making him lose his grip on anything but her.
Sliding away from her just a few inches, he removed the condom. Nothing would block any part of the liquid redemption buried so deep within her only he could access it.
Shock danced in her eyes lit by the cloud-covered sunlight trying to filter into the room. "Are you sure?"
"Never been more sure of anything in my life." With that, he laid her back underneath him, and gently baptized himself deep in his saving grace.
Another tremble coursed through her and pushed him closer to the edge. Her warmth, her tenderness, her smarts, all of those questions she asked that she thought no one had answers to, he vowed to himself to be those answers. He needed to be her everything. It was the only thing in his life that had ever made sense.
Prior to that moment, he'd allowed life to happen to him. Not anymore. He was going after the life he'd always wanted and that was nothing more than to be able to hold her tight in his arms every night and to be the man she needed every day.
He sank to his hilt letting her healing tides wash through him with nothing between them. "Gonna fill you full, sweet baby. So fucking full of me." It was a groaned warning.
"Yes," she whimpered. Her eyes closed in ecstasy.
"Look at me," he soothed. "Be right here with me."
Those beautiful brown eyes opened, and he saw it. He wondered if she knew, if she felt it the same way he did. They'd skipped right over attachment and had already fallen in love. It was right there in her eyes as she stared up at him as he made them one.
A harsh shudder quaked through him as her pussy gave gentle twitches, urging him deeper. "That feel good, sweetheart?"
"It's amazing," she assured him as she laced her arms around his back and held him to her. Her soft skin melded into his rough edges. She took him all and smoothed out the pieces he'd wished he could rid himself of. She seemed to want them.
Unable to help himself, he pressed deeper, lost his rhythm. It was too much to try not to take all she offered. The spasms of her pussy cinched tight around him. Her body milked his release. It shot through him like wildfire unrestrained.
As he bathed her walls with hot cum, soaking her down with his seed, nonsensical words of promise and of love flew from his mouth. To his surprise, her body bore down so strongly on his that another climax overtook her. She seized, and just like before, he held her tight and coaxed her through it until she lay sated and calm against him.
All his.
As the sun struggled to burn away the last of the storm clouds, Callie knew it would be a sunrise she would never forget. A few of her brain cells tried to remind all of the others that she should be panicking, but she just didn't have the energy. Most of her simply didn't care that she was likely making the very same mistakes she'd made with Derrick. She was getting all wrapped up in Ford's world so she wouldn't be alone.
Only, that wasn't at all how she felt lying on his chest and letting him soothe her back to sleep. That sense of belo
nging she'd felt when he was deep inside of her hadn't vacated when he’d eased himself out of her. She still belonged right where she was.
Contentment was a heady sensation for a girl who'd never belonged anywhere.
"Where's my girl?" Ford's gruff tone sounded particularly sweet after all they'd shared.
She chuckled. "I'm right here."
"Part of you is, but where's your mind? I know you've got dozens of questions going on in there. Ask me."
"I was just thinking about how amazing that was." That wasn't a lie. It was the single most satisfying experience of her entire life. She'd had sex before, sure. But she'd obviously never made love before. Sex with Derrick was rare, obligatory, and highly unsatisfying. Always her on top which she hated. Just like everything else in his life, he didn't ever want to put forth much effort.
"It was amazing," Ford's vow wiped away all thoughts of Derrick's lackluster bedroom skills. "Are you hurting?" Concern tensed in his words.
"In all the best ways," she assured him. His responding growl was more than worth it.
"Now that I've had you like that, I'm going to be insatiable, baby. I'll want more of that constantly. Just promise you'll tell me if I get to be too much."
Grinning at that, she leaned up on her elbow so she could try to show him how truthful her statement was. She needed to look into his eyes. "Ford, you're never too much for me. I promise." His eyes narrowed, and something he wanted to say seemed to be right there on the tip of his tongue. "What?" she urged. He shook his head, and she couldn't stand it. "We promised never to keep things from each other."
"Fine." He drew her head back to his chest and cradled her tightly again. "Pretty sure I've already fallen in attachment."
God, what a stupid word she'd used. So, he was on the verge of panicking as well it seemed. And that drew the truthfulness from her. Saving him was the most important thing in her world. "Me too."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but..."
"I know," he soothed. "It's been way too fast. I pushed too hard."
"No, you don't know because that's not it at all. It's just..." she shrugged, "maybe I don't know either." Defeat robbed her words of her earlier volume.
"Wanna keep not taking it slow and just let life have us, see where it spits us out?"
Spoken like a man who'd been spit out far too often. "What if...?" She tried to think of some way to explain her take on the world.
"What if what, sweetness? Just say it. Whatever it is."
"Okay, so, I've always thought that if you ask the universe for something, a lot of times it will give it to you. You just sort of have to see yourself having it and be aware when the sign comes so you don't miss it. What if we ask the universe for a sign about what we should do? That way we'll know for sure."
"What if we don't get some kind of sign?"
"We will. I promise."
"All right. I'm down. But fair warning, I'm not just going to picture us getting a sign. I'm going to picture exactly what I want to happen. I'm sick to death of letting life beat the crap out of me. I'm fighting back this time."
"What exactly do you want to happen?" She already knew but needed to hear him say it.
"I want what I've got in my hands right now."
And there it was hanging in the universe between them. She just had to figure out if this was what she wanted. A cowboy's wife? She didn't even know how to be that. Not that he'd out-and-out proposed. Nothing about being in his bed was getting her closer to being a successful photographer. And what if he lost interest the same way Derrick had?
As if he could somehow hear her thoughts, he urged, "I've got to get up and go check on the cattle and see what damage that storm did. Come with me. Bring your camera. You’re bound to get some good shots this morning."
Chapter Thirty
After Ford helped Callie up into his truck, he wondered what the hell kind of sign it was that she was looking for and how he might go about getting it to her. His mind was still addled from the awe-inspiring sex they'd had. He wasn't at the top of his game. Idiotic thoughts about paying the Harmon boys to paint one of the old billboard signs with Ford loves Callie filtered through his mind. Dumbass. That's not what she meant, and you know it.
So, he did the only thing he knew how to do at that moment while she was watching soggy prairie land slowly pass in his windshield. "You still haven't asked me all of them questions brewing in your head, sugar? Let's have it."
She grinned up at him, and he doubled down on his determination to find her some kind of sign. Maybe he would talk to the Harmon boys.
"I shouldn't ask anything I want to."
"You should, and I'm gonna answer."
"You're sure?" She slipped that lip back between her teeth, and he swore his cock awoke from its sated slumber at the sight.
"Ask," he ordered.
"Well, I mean how exactly did that happen with...you know...Meritt telling you she was pregnant? Had you been dating a while? And why did she do that? Did she tell you she lost the baby? I have a friend in LA who had a miscarriage, and they're so awful I can't imagine someone pretending to have one. That's just..." she shuddered, "And if she didn't tell you she lost it what happened when you found out she wasn't? Were you already married? Oh my gosh. It's just so manipulative and awful. I want to claw her eyeballs out, but I know that isn't nice."
When she finally drew a breath, Ford was chuckling at her. "You got any more up there you want to get out first, or should I start at the top?"
Heat bloomed across her face and out of the top of the T-shirt of his that she'd borrowed. She was draped in the thing, and he'd never seen anything more beautiful. Her hair was still mostly a mess from their lovemaking, and he loved that she didn't care. "Sorry." She cringed.
He shook his head. "There you go again. I'm gonna turn you over my knee the next time you do it, and that's a promise. You've got nothing to be sorry for. After everything I told you last night, you've got every right to ask all that and more. Just humored me at how quick they come outta you. You're so damn cute."
She rolled her eyes. "Are you sure you're not trying to get out of answering because you don't have to."
"I’m not trying to get out of anything. But after I get a full day’s work pushed into a few hours, I will be trying to get back in your panties, fair warning."
"I'm not wearing any," she teased.
His growl of appreciation echoed through the cab of the truck. Hell, his brothers probably heard it from their houses. "All right, let's see here. Remember when we were up on the water tower and me telling you about how I ran hog wild for way too long?"
"I take it Meritt was a part of you sowing your wild oats, so to speak?"
"Pretty much. I was an idiot. If I could go back and beat the piss outta myself back then, I would. Or maybe what I really wish is that I could go back and beat some sense into myself." His head dropped under the weight of the shame.
Her hand found his, and she laced their fingers together. "We've all done things we regret. It's okay."
"It's not okay. I barely even knew her. I barely even remember sleeping with her. I was drunk. She probably was, too, but like I said I don't remember. It was in the back of my truck. I was twenty years old living high and mighty on the Holder name, just like all my cousins and my brothers. We fucking thought the world owed us. For what it's worth, I hated myself back then. I was rebelling against my daddy and all of my uncles. They kept telling me it was time to settle down. That I'd taken it too far. I told them they were all crazy, that I knew what I was doing." He shook his head and prayed that he could somehow show her that he wasn't that asshole anymore.
"It's okay. Keep going," she urged.
"I'm so fucking ashamed I'm not sure I can." The raw truth burned his throat.
"You don't have to."
"No, I want to answer all the questions. I'm determined. Anyway, so I hooked up with Meritt at the Renegade Rodeo that was in town that night. She'd started flirting with m
e during the first events and was throwing herself at me by the time they were handing out ribbons. I hope to god at some point I thought she was pretty, but I don't remember ever feeling that way. All I can see is what she turned into. It's colored all of the days before the bitter end."
"I feel like that about Derrick, too. I'm so angry at him. I resent all of the years I gave him, and it makes me hate even the occasional good things we probably had at some point. I think love and hate both distort vision. They're a stronger sense."
"You're so damn smart," he vowed. He'd never heard it put like that, but she was spot on. His cousin Meridian topped a hill in the distance on her horse, Kagan. Ford pointed to the silhouette she'd created. "That's a decent shot with the cattle at the bottom of the hill like that."
"Oh my gosh! That's an amazing shot. Can you stop for a second?"
Ford pressed the brake and let her take several dozen photos, but she caught him off guard when she turned the camera on him. "What are you taking my picture for?"
"Because you're gorgeous and amazing and I want to." He appreciated the compliments, but he doubted he was model worthy. "If I weren't prone to thinking otherwise, I'd say you might be sweet on me," he teased, trying to brush off her praise. But she just snapped another photo.
"You're really cute when you're embarrassed," she informed him.
"I do not look embarrassed."
She lowered the camera and stared him down. "I don't ever try to take pictures of how things look. The only thing I care about capturing is how they feel."
Chapter Thirty-One
Ford longed to ask her if she could see in the photo screen how much he cared about her because that was how he felt. He kept that to himself and continued on with his confession. "There's only one part of that whole night I have a distinct memory of."