A Home for Jessa

by Robin Delph

  “Jessa I can’t do that. It has to be something you want to write about, something that you feel passionate about or a message you would like everyone to hear. I can’t give you an assignment for it. I would love to help you and I will in any way I can, but you have to decide for yourself what to write.”

  “I have been trying so hard but I still can’t come up with anything Mr. Henson. I’m afraid I’ll never get a novel wrote.”

  “Jessa listen to me I’m going to tell you the secret that all the great authors know. Stop trying so hard and let it just come to you.”

  Jessa looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face.

  “I know it sounds odd but the more you try and rush it the longer it may take. It will come to you when you least expect it. I promise just give it time okay.”

  “Okay Mr. Henson I will.”

  “Now I have an appointment I have to get to so I will talk to you later. And Jessa like I said just give it time.”

  “Thank you Mr. Henson.” She said as she walked out the door.

  Chapter Eight

  It has been two weeks since I have talked to Mr. Henson and I still haven’t come up with anything to write about. May be I should just do what he said and let it come to me, maybe I am trying to hard Jessa thought. My birthday has came and went and still no word from my aunt either. I hope Mrs. Drew didn’t say anything in her message to scare her off. What if they told her I had ran away from my last foster home or that I was found beaten. It doesn’t matter if she asks I will tell her the truth.

  “Jessa I need to speak to you.” Mrs. Drew said as she came into the room.

  This must be bad Jessa thought, Mrs. Drew never comes up to our rooms.

  “As you know I contacted your aunt some time ago. I wanted to let you know that she has decided to come out here she will be here tomorrow. Therefore, I expect you to be on your best behavior when she gets here. Is that clear?”

  “Yes Mrs. Drew.” Jessa replied trying to contain her excitement.

  “Now with that being said I do not want you waiting downstairs in the lobby to see when she comes in. Mr. Henson and I need to speak with her first we will call you when we are ready for you. Besides, she never gave me a specific time when she would arrive. Oh and Mr. Henson asked me to remind you that you have an appointment with him tomorrow afternoon. So unless other wised informed you are to keep the appointment.” And with that being said Mrs. Drew turned and walked away.

  Jessa was so excited that she couldn’t even think straight. I can’t believe she is coming here Jessa thought. Does that mean she is going to take me back with her? What should I wear to meet her? One thing I know for sure is I want be getting any sleep tonight

  Try as she might Jessa could not fall asleep. She had been trying for hours and nothing seemed to work she had even tired writing, but nothing. Oh I have to get some sleep Jessa thought. Maybe if I lay very still and try not to think about tomorrow I’ll fall asleep. Oh who am I kidding I can’t help but think about it. My aunt my real family is coming to see me and I’m going to have a real home. Who could sleep knowing something so great is going to happen the next day. Jessa finally fell asleep around three in the morning.

  Jessa woke with the same excitement that she had before she went to sleep only now she was a bit nervous to. The same thoughts about her aunt not liking her and so on were now wheeling through her mind. What if she doesn’t want me Jessa thought and then quickly shook her head. No, she is my family and family always wants you. Still that doesn’t mean she has to like me. Oh, I’m getting myself all worked up over nothing.

  It was almost noon and Mrs. Drew still hasn’t called for me, guess I’ll go see Mr. Henson Jessa thought. When Jessa got downstairs she noticed that Mrs. Drew and another woman were in his office so she decided to wait. Jessa tried so hard not to listen to what they were talking about but when she heard the woman say her name she couldn’t help but eavesdrop a little.

  “Jessa is my niece and I have a right to see her.” The woman said.

  “Miss Donavan under the circumstances I don’t’ think that is a very good idea. Want you agree Mr. Henson?” Mrs. Drew said.

  “I don’t care what you say I want to see her and if you don’t let me I’ll be back with my lawyer.”

  “There is no need for that Miss. Donavan. We are only thinking about what is best for Jessa.” Mr. Henson said.

  That must be my aunt Jessa thought, but why doesn't Mr. Henson and Mrs. Drew want her to see me? Isn’t that the whole reason Mrs. Drew contacted her? Mean old Mrs. Drew is just trying to keep me here, well I won’t let her! And with that Jessa burst through Mr. Henson’s door.

  “Jessa what on earth do you think you’re doing?” Mrs. Drew asked.

  “You can’t stop me from seeing my aunt.” Jessa cried

  “Jessa listen.” Mr. Henson said

  “No. The reason you called her was so we could me and she could take me home with her. Now you don’t want her to. What is wrong with you Mrs. Drew? First, you send me to a foster home where I was beat and left at the hospital and now that I have a real family you don’t even want me to see them. Why?”

  “Jessa Parks this is your aunt Beth Donavan. The reason we didn’t want you to meet is because she has no intentions to take you with her.” Mrs. Drew said.

  “NO, you’re wrong. That’s why she came here so I could go with her and have a real family.” Jessa shouted. “Tell them Aunt Beth. Tell them you came to get me so we could be a family.”

  “I wish I could Jessa, but I just came to see you dear. I can’t take you to live with me my boyfriend would have a fit and leave me for sure. He doesn’t want kids and neither do I. I just wanted to see you. I haven’t heard anything about you since your parents died.” Beth told her.

  “You, you don’t want me? Then why even come? Why?” Jessa asked with tears in her eyes.

  “Jessa I told the social workers when they first contacted me when you were five that I couldn’t keep you and that you would be better off here. I also told them that if you ever asked to tell you they couldn’t find any relatives. Then Mrs. Drew phoned and said she was going over her files and noticed that you had and aunt and by law I was to be contacted.”

  “Mrs. Drew why did you even call her then? Why did you get my hopes up are you really that cruel of a person?”

  “No Jessa I’m not and I am terribly sorry I called, but it wasn’t listed in your file that Beth had ever been contacted. When she called back she also never mentioned any of this to me. Instead, she wanted until she got here and then I called Nancy and she confirmed what she had said. Nancy never put it in your file because she was afraid you would see it one day and she didn’t want you to know that your aunt refused to take and didn’t want anything to do with you.” Mrs. Drew explained.

  Jessa started crying so hard she was shaking. I have an aunt but she doesn’t want anything to do with me. So much for family Jessa thought.

  “That’s why we told her she couldn’t see you. We wanted to spare you the pain of all of this and of knowing you were unwanted. I’m so sorry Jessa.” Mr. Henson said.

  “Jessa would you like it if we took a walk and talked for a while before I leave?” Beth asked.

  “No just go. You don’t want me so why even put me through more pain.” Jessa replied.

  Beth left and Jessa and Mr. Henson took a walk. They talked about what Jessa blurted out about being beaten and left at the hospital. Mrs. Drew on the other hand wanted nothing to do with the matter and said it was just Jessa trying to cause trouble thinking she would get to leave with her aunt. No one ever spoke of it or her aunt again.

  Chapter Nine

  It had been a month since the whole ordeal with her aunt and Jessa still hadn’t gotten over any of it. To make things even worse Mrs. Drew was trying to find another foster home to place her in.

  “Jessa are you alright?” Mr. Henson asked.

  “I’m fine just thinking about being placed in another fos
ter home.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked

  “Not really.”

  Mrs. Drew came through the door. “Jessa I need to speak to you in my office.” She told her.

  Jessa got up and followed Mrs. Drew to her office. Well I’m assuming she has found a foster home for me Jessa thought as she took a seat.

  “As you know I have been trying to find a foster home to place you in and I have found one. Mrs. Turner will be here in a few hours to take you to your new home so you need to go pack.” Mrs. Drew said.

  Jessa got up and headed out the door.

  “Oh and Jessa no more running away.” Mrs. Drew called out after her.

  I can’t believe she still thinks I ran away Jessa thought, even after I told them what really happened. I guess it’s just easier for her to believe I did. I wonder what kind of people my new foster parents are. Maybe this time it won’t be so bad. I have heard that some foster parents are actually good to their foster kids and some even adopt them.

  A few hours later Jessa saw Mrs. Turner’s car pull up and she knew she had come to get her. Well I guess I’ll find out in a few minutes where I’ll be going.

  “Jessa are you ready to go?”

  Jessa turned to find Mrs. Turner standing in the doorway holding the paper work for her new foster parents. I’ll never be ready Jessa thought but knew not to say anything what good would it do her anyway.

  On the car ride to her new home Jessa let her mind wonder. What would it have been like if Aunt Beth would have taken me with her? No more foster homes that’s for sure and a regular school. She shook her head as if trying to shake away those thoughts, no use in wasting my time even thinking like that. Well one good thing comes from being in a foster home, I do get to attend a regular school instead of the orphanage classes, but what about church. Do they go? Will they let me go? The Harris’ didn’t go and Rick would not even hear about me attending. The whole idea of church seemed to bother him, I don’t understand why church has always been the one place where I have ever felt wanted and welcomed.

  “Jessa we’re here.” Mrs. Turner said turning around in the seat and looking at her. “Are you alright Jessa? You look a little pale.”

  No wonder I look pale Jessa thought as she looked out the window to what was supposed to be her new home. The lawn was a mess, junked cars everywhere and the house looked as if it was barely standing. This was no place for a child or anyone for that matter.

  Mrs. Turner stood beside Jessa as an elder couple came out to meet them. Maybe they won’t be so bad Jessa thought.

  “Jessa I would like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Bedford.” Mrs. Turner said.

  “Hello.” Jessa said to them.

  Mr. and Mrs. Bedford never said a word they just stood there looking Jessa up and down and whispering to themselves

  “Mrs. Turner may we have a word with you?” Mr. Bedford said.

  Jessa watch as they walked out of earshot or so they thought they were out of earshot.

  “We don’t want her. You’ll just have to take her back with you.” She heard Mr. Bedford say.

  “Mr. Bedford I don’t understand. I was given the impression that you wanted to be foster parents.” Mrs. Turner told him.

  “We do want to be foster parents.” Mrs. Bedford said. “We just don’t want her. I’m look at her.”

  “What’s wrong with her? She is a very sweet little girl. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want her. Maybe you could try and keep her for a few days and see if that will change your minds.” Mrs. Turner pleaded

  “I SAID NO.” Mr. Bedford yelled before taking his wife by the hand and leading her into the house.

  Mrs. Turner was shocked. “Get in the car Jessa.” She said sounding angry.

  Jessa done as she was told and climbed into the car. She wanted to ask what was wrong but since she had overheard the whole conversation she already knew. They didn’t want me, just as Aunt Beth didn’t want me either she thought. I don’t understand and I probably never will. Jessa tried so hard not to cry as they drove back to the orphanage. No one wants me and with that thought she let her tears flow.

  When they got back to the orphanage Mrs. Drew didn’t know what to say when she saw Jessa come back with Mrs. Turner.

  “Jessa you run along and get yourself unpacked, I need to speak to Mrs. Drew.”

  Jessa never said a word she just turned and headed up the stairs.

  Chapter Ten

  Jessa couldn’t help but think about how no one seemed to want her. First her aunt and then the Bedfords, as far as I know there is nothing wrong with me Jessa thought. I’m quiet, I keep to myself, I stay out of everyone’s way and I don’t eat much, so why doesn’t anyone want me.

  “Jessa, can I speak to you for a moment?” Mrs. Turner asked as she stepped through the door.

  Jessa nodded her head yes.

  “I am so sorry for what happened at the Bedfords. I don’t know what their problem was, you are a great child and anyone would be lucky to have you stay with them. You must understand that none of this isn’t your fault. Some people are just odd to say the least.”

  “Mrs. Turner why didn’t they want me?” Jessa asked.

  “Honey I don’t know. They never gave me a reason why.”

  “I heard Mrs. Bedford say just look at her. Is there something wrong with the way I look?”

  “No child there is anything wrong with you at all. Please Jessa don’t let this get to you. I have to go, but if you ever need to talk just let me know.”

  “Thank you Mrs. Turner.”

  Jessa started to cry. Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow she thought. Maybe I just need some sleep I haven’t sleep much since Aunt Beth showed up. I just need to quit thinking about all of this, get a good night’s sleep and try to move on. Jessa turned down her bed and fell fast asleep.

  Jessa’s sleep was restless. All night she dreamed of her mother, that she was standing in a field and calling out to her. But no matter how hard she tried Jessa could not get to her or hear what she said. In her dream Jessa was just standing there crying because she couldn’t get to her.

  When Jessa woke the next morning she was tired she felt as if she hadn’t slept at all. Try as she might she still thought about her aunt.

  “Jessa Mrs. Drew wants to see you.” A girl stepped through the door and told her.

  I wonder what she wants now. Jessa thought as she got out of bed and got dressed. Can’t she just leave me alone for one day? What is with this woman, it’s like she takes pleasure out of seeing me miserable.

  “Jessa have a seat.” Mrs. Drew said.

  “Mrs. Drew I promise you I never said a word to that couple.” Jessa started to explain.

  “I know you didn’t. That’s not what I want to talk to you about.”

  “Oh.”

  “Jessa I want you to know that Mrs. Turner will be here tomorrow to take you to another foster home.” Mrs. Drew explained

  “What! After everything that happened yesterday! Can’t you at least give me time to get over that?” Jessa all but shouted.

  “Ms. Parks do not take that tone with me. You need to toughen up, this kind of thing happens all the time. I cannot just up and stop placing children in homes because they need time. If I did that this orphanage would be running over with children. Do you understand?”

  “Yes Mrs. Drew.”

  “Good. Now as I was saying Mrs. Turner will be here tomorrow to take you to a new foster home. I suggest you take today and get ready. I have had you excused from all of you classes today, but you are to go straight and see Mr. Henson when you leave my office. You may go now.”

  Jessa got up and headed to Mr. Henson’s office.

  “You wanted to see me Mr. Henson?” Jessa asked upon entering the room.

  “Yes I did. How are you?” he asked.

  “I’m fine I guess. It doesn’t matter, Mrs. Drew is sending me to a new home tomorrow.”

  “So she said. How is your novel com
ing along?”

  “It isn’t. I still haven’t found anything to write about.”

  “You will just let it come to you.”

  “Mr. Henson can I go? I really don’t feel like talking and I have to pack.”

  “Yes you may go. Oh and happy birthday Jessa.”

  Mr. Henson had caught her off guard with the happy birthday. I have been so busy thinking about no one wanting me that I forgot my own birthday Jessa thought as she went upstairs to pack. After she was done she went to bed, with the thoughts of being rejected and the possibility of it happening again tomorrow.

  Part Two

  Chapter Eleven

  Jessa had been placed in one foster home after another. She has been beaten, starved, abused and even raped. Every time she went back to the orphanage Mrs. Drew seemed to blame her for everything, she never listened to anything she had to say so Jessa just quit. The last foster home she was sent to the family didn’t want her but they didn’t want to let go of the money they got for keeping her every month. So they wouldn’t send her back they just told her to do whatever she wanted, but not to go back to the orphanage.

  The deal was fine with Jessa she never wanted to go back there. She liked going to a regular school and she could go to church whenever she wanted. The only down side was that she was homeless and has been for almost a year. Jessa normally finds a place to sleep under a bridge or in an abandoned house. She washes in a creek before school every morning and she gets free food when she is there. It hasn’t been easy keeping anyone from finding out she is homeless.

  There is one person that does know though, Summer Greyson. She has been Jessa’s best friend since they meet in class when Jessa was twelve. Jessa told Summer everything about her life and how she believes she is better off now than she has ever been. Summer has never told anyone and promised she never would. Jessa has even started writing her novel.