After going through the drive thru, I turn south, in the direction of Jess’ house. Why am I so nervous all of a sudden? Jess is just a girl, who is a friend. Who you happen to have feelings for.
Shoving those thoughts aside, I work at trying to calm the nerves which take presence in my stomach. Being around Jess has me feeling things I don’t understand, feelings I don’t recognize or know what to do with. This protectiveness I have over her is a feeling I can’t control. Sure I could say it’s because we are friends, but we all know that would be a lie.
Jess meets me at the front door when I arrive. Even in her pajamas, she is still gorgeous.
“I’ll take that,” she says, snatching the bag of food out of my hand and running off with it. Jess seems happy, too happy. I idly wonder if it’s me or the food she is happy about. My ego would take a huge hit if she is more excited about the food than me. Then again, I have made her cry more times than I can count.
“You’re welcome for the food,” I mutter when I reach her bedroom. Jess is already half way into her burger when I step inside her bedroom. Good grief, her room looks as messy as mine.
“Sorry, I was hungry. Thank you for the food,” she replies sweetly, leaving me to ponder why she is suddenly so okay being around me. “What took you so long anyway?”
Shit…should I tell her? “I had a situation to take care of.” Maybe she will accept my answer and drop the conversation.
“Oh.” I can tell she is trying to figure out what the situation is. “Well, what did you want to talk about?”
Talk about? Oh, right. Taking the empty spot on her bed, I decide the best option here is honesty, even if she will be pissed at me. “Jess, I want you to be honest with me, okay? Now, don’t get mad, but, yesterday I overheard you talking to Cassie. Why didn’t you tell me Colt drags you to his races?”
She lowers her head, seeming ashamed. “I thought I was overreacting, I guess. At first, when Colt told me about them I assumed he bought us tickets to see a race, so I was excited. When we got there, it wasn’t at all what I expected and I knew in my gut that I shouldn’t be there.”
“Why didn’t you call me or hell, even J would have come and picked you up.”
“I didn’t want to involve anyone else.”
The nerves in my stomach are gone since she is opening up to me so I grab my food from the bag and join her in eating. “And the second time?”
“After the first race I told Colt how I felt about it and he got mad. He said he needed me there for good luck, which I don’t understand. The night of the second race, he didn’t tell me where we were going, only that it was a surprise. I was so mad that night. Tonight, I claimed I was sick so I could get out of it.”
Thank goodness for that! “I went down there tonight. That’s why it took me so long to get here. I confronted Colt about taking you there and that it wasn’t safe for you. He got pissed and said what you and he do while y’all are together is none of my business. But Jess,” I take hold of her hand. “you have to know; I was scared shitless that something was going to happen to you.” Jess eyes our joined hands for a long moment, making me wonder if she is going to pull her hand away.
“I’m breaking up with Colt, Bo. He isn’t who everyone thinks he is and I can’t do it anymore.”
“Has he hurt you?” I can’t stop the growl that leaves me.
“No, he hasn’t.”
“Good. Because if he does, I’m going to lay him out.”
“He knows there is something between us and he uses it against me sometimes.”
What the fuck? “Explain.”
A lone tear falls from her eye and I reach up with my other hand to thumb it away. “He just reminds me of the things you have said to me to hurt me. There were times where Colt would say things like, “Bo isn’t the type of person you would want to date. You know how he is with girls, once he gets what he wants, he tosses them aside.” Things like that. He says you don’t care about me. It’s like he thinks I will choose you over him or something.”
I take a moment to process everything she said. “Jess, I- I don’t know what to say. Yeah, I’m happy you’re leaving him because I hate seeing you two together, but I don’t do commitment, you know this. I can’t be who you need.”
Ripping her hand away from my grasp, a hurt expression washes over her. “You don’t know what I need.”
Keeping my hands in my lap, I fight the urge to touch her. “Jess, you need to be with someone who deserves you, who can devote their time to you and only you. You deserve flowers, even if it’s out of the blue. And as much as I want to be that guy for you? I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Jess is fixing to reply when her phone goes off. Colt’s name flashes on the screen. “Yeah,” she answers, wiping away the tears I put there.
It’s so quiet in the house that I can hear him talk to her. “I need you to come bail me out of jail.” Is he serious right now? Jess better not go get his sorry ass.
Her gaze lifts to mine. “I’m sorry, Colt, but I can’t come get you. We’re done. I told you that you’d get arrested if you didn’t quit, but you didn’t listen to me.”
“Jess, come on, don’t be like that.”
“I mean it, Colt. We’re through,” she replies, more sternly.
Colt’s laugh rings through the phone. “Fine by me. I didn’t even want you anyway. The only reason I asked you out was because I knew it would piss Bo off. You were nothing but another notch on my bedpost.”
Snatching the phone from her, I go off on Colt. “Listen here you sorry piece of shit. Don’t you ever come around Jess again, understand? If you so much as come near her, I will knock you flat on your ass, got it?”
Hanging up, I toss her phone on the comforter. Jess is full on crying and I hate seeing her like this. “Jess, I’m sorry. I feel like this is my fault.” Moving to the other side of her, I sit with my back against the wall. I want to hold her in my arms so bad. “Can I hold you?”
To my surprise, she nods and crawls into my lap. My arms cocoon her. “I feel so stupid,” she sobs.
“Don’t blame yourself, Darlin. I’m the one to blame for you being in this situation.” If I hadn’t have hurt her or showed any interest in her, this would not have happened. The question is, what have I done to Colt?
If you asked me how a girl can handle being comforted by the guy she wants most but can’t have, I’d tell you it’s torture, soothing, and painful. But most of all, it’s confusing. You are so conflicted by what to do. Should I let him hold me only to push me away after? Or should I move from the comfort of his arms? See? Conflicted.
I don’t know how I have sat curled up in his lap. Lord knows I don’t want to move as this is the closest Bo and I have been since, well, since the first time he stomped on my heart.
I didn’t love Colt, but I did like him. There were times where we were good together. Now I am wondering if he was faking his attraction to me.
The tears have dried, but the hit my heart took is still reeling. “I think I understand why you don’t like commitment, Bo. It hurts too much.”
“Jess,” he murmurs, sounding pained. “Forget about Colt, okay? He doesn’t deserve your tears. Not a single one.”
My cheek rubs against his chest as I nod, snuggling closer. His heart thumps rapidly in his chest, making me wonder if I have some effect on him. All the crying has my eyes raw so I let them drift close to give them some relief.
When I wake, it’s still dark out, the food is gone at the end of the bed, and Bo is nowhere to be found. Bo must have laid me down and covered me up before he left. With that thought alone, I fall back asleep with a smile on my face.
I’m in the kitchen making breakfast when I hear a knock on the front door. I frown, wondering who it could be as I am not expecting anyone. Mom and dad will be back from their weekend getaway in a couple of hours and I am excited to see them.
Opening the door, I’m startled to see Colt standing there. “May I come in?”
; “No, you can leave.”
His brows pinch together. “Don’t be a bitch, Jessie. I only want to talk about last night.”
“You said everything you wanted to say last night, wouldn’t you say?”
I go to close the door in his face but his hand shoots out to stop it. “Last night, I was so angry for Bo showing up thinking he is some kind of white knight believing that I put you in danger. And then, when I call you for help I find out he is with you. How do you think it made me feel?”
“Leave, Colt.” Having him here suddenly makes me feel uncomfortable. Reaching for my phone in my back pocket, I keep it hidden from Colt as I type out a message to Bo. “You need to go. We are done, do you hear me?” I tell him as I slip my phone back in my jean pocket.
Colt’s nostrils flare. “I want an explanation, Jessie. Why was Bo sticking his nose into something that wasn’t his business and why was he at your house when I called you?”
“Does it matter? You didn’t want me to begin with! It was all a game to you, Colt!” Colt is cut off from responding when the smoke detector blares. “Crap!” Rushing into the kitchen, I find the pan I was cooking with on fire. “No, no, no!” I head toward the sink for water, but then remember my parents actually have a fire extinguisher in the kitchen. Probably for situations like this.
Grabbing it off the wall, I aim it toward the growing fire and pull the pin. I stumble, almost losing my balance, but quickly right my footing. In minutes, the fire is out and I quickly turn off the eye. My body sags in relief relieving the tension built up from Colt and the fire.
“Jess!” Bo shouts from the doorway.
“In here!” Turning one of the kitchen chairs around, I sit down as my knees give out on me. With the extinguisher on the floor, I bury my head in my hands.
I hear Bo’s quick footsteps in the kitchen, stopping right in front of me. “Jess, are you all right, Darlin’?”
Scrubbing my face with my shaky hands, I tilt my gaze up to him. “I’m fine. Is Colt still here?”
“No, I passed him about a half a mile down the road.” Chicken shit. “I got here as fast as I could. Start from the beginning and tell me what happened.”
“I was cooking breakfast when Colt knocked on the door. He was mad and wanted an explanation as to why you not only ‘got in his business’, but why you were here too. I told him it didn’t matter because we were done and then the smoke detector goes off. The reason I texted you was because he wouldn’t leave, Bo.” For some reason, I owed him an explanation
“I’m glad you texted me, Jess. Let me take you to get some breakfast.”
“It’s okay, I need to be here when my parents get home. Thanks for the offer, though.”
When my stomach rumbles, Bo gives me a stern look. “I will go get you something and bring it to you, but if Colt shows back up, I want to know so I can deal with him.”
“Okay,” I relent. While my parents aren’t going to be too happy, at least I will have food. Colt’s annoying ass made me burn my food and almost burn the house down! And he left on top of that! Who does that?
After Bo leaves, I try to clean up as much as I can, which isn’t much. It isn’t long before Bo returns. We settle on the couch and eat in silence, which seems awkward to me.
“Leave Colt to me, all right?” Bo says out of the blue.
It’s not in me to protest, even though I want to fight him on it. “Just don’t do anything stupid, Bo.”
Bo seems shocked I didn’t argue with him, yet he doesn’t comment on it. “All I will do is tell him not to come near you. If he does, you let me or J know, got it?”
“Okay,” I mumble weakly.
Bo sets his Styrofoam plate on the coffee table and takes mine out of my hands, setting it next to his. Grabbing my leg, he pulls me down the couch toward him until I am lying flat on my back. Bo then gets up and walks to my side of the couch. “Sit up, Jess.”
Confused, I sit up and watch him grab the blanket off the back of the couch before sitting down again. “Let me hold you like I did last night,” he murmurs.
Once I am curled in his lap, he covers me with the blanket. I don’t know what to make of what is going on between Bo and me. Maybe I am crazy for thinking there is something. After all, he is a friend.
I try not to think about what kinds of feeling Bo evokes in me. Instead, I quiet my brain and relish the comfort his arms bring.
Beverly’s Christmas dinner was to die for. It’s still not as good as my momma’s cooking, yet it’s pretty darn close. I called my parents and Bo earlier to wish them a Merry Christmas. After talking with them for a while, Cassie and I spent some more time in front of the fireplace before dinner.
Leaving her tomorrow is going to be hard like it always is but I am thankful for the week we got to have together.
Beverly got called into work so it’s just me and Cassie for the night. Cassie groans in my side. We have been lying on the couch for the last little bit. “Do you really have to go tomorrow?” she whines.
Kissing her hair, I let out a sigh. “I’m afraid so, Cass.”
Cassie lifts her head up and I notice the sad look in her eyes. “Do you think you could go with me somewhere tomorrow before you leave?”
“Of course, Cass. Where to?”
She is silent for a long moment. “I want to go see my parents’ graves.”
Oh, Cass.
“I’ll be right there with you, all right?”
Laying back down on my chest, she murmurs, “Thank you. I can’t go see them without you being with me.”
“You are a lot stronger than you realize, Cass,” I remind her. She has been through so much in the last few years that I think she has forgotten her strength. But if I need to remind her daily, I will.
It’s late and Cassie is asleep on my chest, yet I can’t bring myself to move from this uncomfortable position. I didn’t lie when I told Cassie that I didn’t like her walking home by herself, I just didn’t tell her the real reason why. Sure it isn’t safe for a young woman to walk by herself alone in any part of the world, but this place holds some dangerous people who Cassie’s parents ran from. What if her parents’ debt isn’t paid and they come after Cassie? There hasn’t been any indication that they would come after her, but still, I can’t risk losing her.
Cassie’s phone vibrates on the arm of the couch behind me, falling onto my shoulder. My teeth grind together when I see it’s from Seth.
Clara is up to something. Not sure what yet, but be prepared.
While I don’t know who or what Seth is talking about, I get an idea. Getting his number from Cassie’s phone, I shoot him a text.
This is J. I need to talk to you about something important. Where can we meet?
His reply is instant.
I take it Cassie doesn’t know about this?
Not that I am meeting you, no, but what I need to talk to you about, she pretty well knows.
Meet me at the diner in ten minutes.
Gotcha.
Somehow, not sure exactly how, I manage to slip out from underneath Cassie, throw some clothes on, and slip out the door without her waking up.
Talking to Seth is important because I need to know he will walk or drive her home. I kind of want to know who this Clara chick is and what she is up to. Cassie told me about some girls who were mean to her a few weeks ago, although she didn’t mention any names.
Seth is already waiting when I arrive.
“What’s up, man?” Seth asks as he walks around the back of his car.
“A couple things. First of all, you know I am skeptical of you and your intentions with my girl, however, Cassie trusts you, which means, I do. So, don’t break my trust or there will be hell to pay.”
“Noted.”
“It’s not safe for Cassie to be walking alone at night for a couple reasons. The main reason being that Cassie got drug into a situation that wasn’t handled properly. Long story short, her parents owed money to some people and they left the state to get
out of paying. They are dead now, but I still have that fear that the people aren’t satisfied with her parents being six-feet under and will come after the person I love most in this world. With that being said, can you drive her home or at least walk with her when she leaves the diner?”
Seth doesn’t seem fazed. “Of course I will drive her. I’ve offered before, but she always declined. I’m sorry she lost her parents. Do you believe the men are looking for her now?”
I’m not sorry her parents are dead; I think to myself. “I don’t know if they are or ever will, but I’m taking the necessary precautions to make sure I don’t lose her.”
“I’ll keep her safe,” he promises, and for some strange reason, I believe him. It kills me that some other guy has to look out for my girl for me, yet this is my only option.
“Thank you. Now, who’s Clara?”
“You saw the text, huh? From what I know, she and Cassie used to be friends before Cassie moved. Clara has been Cassie’s hell since her first day back. Mamma C, the lady who owns the diner, kicked Clara and her friends out not long ago for tripping Cassie. She’s left her alone since then but I overheard her and her friends talking outside of a coffee shop that she had plans to humiliate Cassie in front of the whole school.”
Why didn’t Cassie tell me she was still having problems? “Can you take me to Clara?” I need to put this bitch in her place.
“Well, yeah. Get in.”
As Seth is giving me some dirt on Clara, my phone rings in the cup holder. “Shit, it’s Cassie.” Knowing I have to answer it, I swipe my finger across the screen and put the phone to my ear. “Hey, Cass.”
“Where are you, J?” Crap, she sounds worried.
“I went to go get some more hot chocolate and marshmallows.”
“This late? What are you really doing, J?”
Man, I can't get anything past her. “I had planned on surprising you in the morning, but I ruined that surprise.” No way can I tell her I am about to unleash on Clara.
“Hurry home, J, I miss you.”
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