Don't Let Me Be Yours

by Kimberly Reese

  “My driver dropped us off, but he didn’t have any difficulty getting here. I had to fly to Seattle this morning and just got back a few hours ago, so hopefully we aren’t too late.”

  Perrie stares at me blankly for a moment before she turns to Cooper. “Is he fucking with me?”

  Cooper laughs loudly and shakes his head. “He’s not. What he fails to mention is he took his private jet, and the reason he flew out is because his mother wanted him to check on some artwork she wants to buy in person.”

  An incredulous laugh bubbles out of Perrie’s red, red lips. “Wow. Well, you’re not too late, but I don’t know if I can be your friend now.” Her words are teasing, and her eyes hold a heavy dose of mischief.

  “And why is that?”

  “You’re so…” She waves her hand around as she searches for the word. “You’re you, and I’m me. If you want to be my friend, you’re going to need to be less...I don’t know...less,” she finishes lamely.

  I stare at her for a moment, and I can see Coop swiveling his head back and forth between us out of the corner of my eye, a huge grin on his face.

  “Trust me, there’s nothing less about me. What you see is what you get, Perrie. It’s not my fault if you can’t handle it.”

  Her lips pop open in surprise at my words and accompanying smirk, but she doesn’t say anything. Before she can muster up a response, Coop interjects.

  “I think what she’s trying to say is don’t be so rich.”

  “News flash: you’re rich too, asshole.”

  “Yeah, but your rich is on a whole other level.”

  “I don’t see how that’s a problem.”

  Perrie finally responds with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “It’s not a problem, but I can’t really relate. You’re talking to a home girl from Los Angeles, Sterling. You can be uppercrust all you want, but I think I’m going to make it my personal mission to rub off on you a bit.”

  An unbidden image of her rubbing on me or rubbing one off on me rises in my mind, and I have to force the thought out before I say something decidedly unfriendly.

  “I look forward to you helping me unwind, Perrie.”

  My words aren’t dirty on their own, but the quiet way I say them draw attention to the innuendo. I try to lighten the mood, so I wink at her and smile. Instead of responding, she blinks at me for a few moments, and a sweet blush paints the apples of her cheeks.

  I can’t help but stare at her, and it’s as if we’re the only ones in the room as we look at each other. My concentration is momentarily broken when Coop clears his throat, so I turn to glance at him.

  “I think I see someone I’d like to say hello to across the room,” he says meaningfully, and he lifts the eyebrow not visible to Perrie. He claps me on the back in support, and as he moves past me he whispers, “Good luck fighting nature.”

  I smirk at his parting comment and turn to look at Perrie, and the knowledge that we’re suddenly alone in a room full of people seems to wash over us at the same time. I don’t know what happens next, but I’m curious to see where the night will lead.

  “So, now that I’m here,” I start, “what are you going to do with me?”

  11

  Perrie

  That question does more to my body than I’d like to admit. I place a hand against my chest and casually force a swallow as my mouth dries. His baby blue gaze is holding mine, and I can’t look away. I should, for obvious reasons. One being that we’re in a room full of people and it’d be dangerous for me to act on what I want to do.

  Well, Sterling, I’d like to crash my body onto yours and shove my tongue so far down your throat you’ll taste me for weeks, my alcohol-induced brain practically yells.

  I just have to play it cool. There’s a glint in his stare, like he knows exactly what I’m thinking, which he probably does, but I won’t let him have that satisfaction. No, I have to play it right.

  I tilt my head, eyes breaking from his to travel up and down his body. There’s an aura about him that demands attention. I’m drawn to him, and I hate the way I feel when he’s around because I can feel myself slowly slipping, about to lose control and give in to what my body has been craving since that night at the bar.

  Rachel is a childhood friend, she used to be the closest person in my life, but time changed that. We grew up and grew apart, and despite our keeping in touch and hanging out on occasion, our friendship is hanging on a string that has frayed.

  And Sterling, Sterling is someone she has a lot of history with, someone she once swore she’d spend the rest of her life with. She probably still will, honestly. I won’t rule it out. But he’s different than I thought he would be. He’s nothing like the guy she described or the one I met a few times before. He’s somehow more, and that’s unfortunate because this guy in front of me, the one commanding my body without voicing a word, he’s someone I’d like to get to know beyond his exterior, beyond the person Rachel grew to love.

  I shake my head, knowing that last bit is a load of crap. She let it slip once after one too many drinks that she was only with him out of convenience and status. Still. They have history, and he just got out of a super long—albeit rough—relationship with her. I’m conflicted, and I shouldn’t be because there’s wrong and right, and this situation is a no-brainer.

  But sometimes what’s wrong feels so right, and that’s really where the confliction comes into play.

  I blink to find him standing a few steps closer to me, eyes less playful and a bit more curious.

  “That wasn’t meant to be a loaded question,” he muses, voice low and strong.

  My body buzzes with anticipation of what it can never have.

  You say that now, but have you ever walked into a pet shelter and not said hi to all the animals up for adoption? You’ll eventually give in to him like you do those sad puppy eyes begging you for some lovin’.

  My inner devil has been more vocal lately, and I know I have Sterling to thank for that.

  Right. Back to the conversation at hand.

  “It wasn’t, but I got distracted,” I boldly say, crossing one heel over the other as I reposition my stance and cross my arms over my chest.

  His eyes travel lower, unabashedly checking out my chest. I smirk. Maybe he’s just as conflicted as I am.

  “Eyes a little higher, Sterling. Don’t make me full name you for breaking the rules,” I chastise playfully.

  “I wasn’t aware we had any rules.” His smirk widens, and his gaze moves back to mine.

  “You know damn well we do, friend,” I say, enunciating the word friend. “Most of our rules are unspoken, but they’re there.”

  “Is this your way of avoiding the question?” he tries again, smirk transitioning into a small smile.

  “Maybe.” I laugh, arms falling to my sides as I sigh deeply. “So, what was it you asked? What am I going to do with you?”

  I repeat his question and pause, trying to gather my wits.

  “Well, what are you going to do?” His brow lifts, pushing me on. “You asked me here, and here I am, so what now?”

  “Now that you’re here, I’m going to have fun with you, show you a good time, maybe loosen you up a bit.” I blow out. “Actually, I’m going to definitely loosen you up a bit. Let’s see how wild Sterling Montgomery can get.” I hold up a hand before he can respond. “And if you’re going to mention something along the lines of us being too old for this, hold that in. You’re about to have the best night of your life, my friend.”

  “The best night of my life?” He chuckles. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Esp—”

  I shoot him a glare, which halts his use of my full name. For some reason, he’s hip on using it, and his use of it makes my body tingle, so it’s safer when he doesn’t.

  “Perrie,” he corrects himself, laughter shining in his eyes.

  “Great, now that that’s out of the way, care to join me by the bar out back?” I ask hopefully and turn to walk through the sliding glass door
s. But before I can, I reach a hand back, silently begging him to take it. After a few beats, I move to awkwardly position it on my stomach when I feel a warm hand clasp onto mine. I release a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding and smile over at him.

  This is dangerous. This is flirting with a very uneven line that’s setting the boundaries of our friendship. But it feels good, and I’m tired of overthinking every aspect of my life. I want to have fun, and friends are allowed to do that. It’s also probably not smart that I’m practically clinging to him in a place crowded with people who know who we both are. I give his hand a gentle squeeze just as we step outside and quickly release it. He moves it to my lower back and keeps it there, even as we step up to the tiki-decorated bartop.

  Goosebumps rise along the bottom of my spine and make their way up, spreading. I chance a look over at him to see if he’s just as affected as I am, but he’s just as cool and calm as ever. Despite wanting to, I don’t deflate. It’s probably for the best, and as always, I’ll just blame this mini lapse in judgement on the alcohol I consumed before he showed up.

  Speaking of, it’s a miracle I’m still able to balance and move on these heels.

  I order a blended margarita, heavy on the tequila because I need it, and Sterling follows suit, ordering something that sounds way more fancy than it should.

  I’m about to comment on it and break our semi-comfortable silence when Blake runs up to my side and embraces me in a tight side hug, which forces Sterling’s hand to leave its spot on my lower back.

  I pout at the loss.

  “Bestie, I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” she practically screams, alcohol-stenched breath fanning my cheek.

  “Find anyone to bed yet?” I ask, fixing her smudged lipstick with my index finger.

  “Have I ever,” she proudly states and unsuccessfully tries to lower her voice for the next part of her confession. “In fact, I’ve already hooked up with a few. Just kissing though, I’m not trying to get an infection. Oh! But remember the time in college we made the dumb bet to see who could sleep with more guys in a weekend, and I beat you by, like, a lot?”

  I blink, the memory causing an uneasy feeling to settle in my stomach. I definitely hadn’t been honest about how that weekend ended for me. She stayed true to the game, though it was probably because she was horny more than anything, while I stayed on the fourth floor of the library and studied my butt off for finals week. I gave her a bogus number when she wouldn’t quit asking, when in hindsight I probably should have just told her the truth.

  Oh well, better late than never.

  “Actually, I never really participated in that bet,” I confess sheepishly.

  Blake’s eyes widen, and her mouth drops open slightly. “I knew it! It took you long enough to admit to that. I can’t remember who it was, but I received a picture of you with your nose buried so deep in a book I wasn’t sure you could breathe.”

  I laugh, shaking my head at her. “Of course you knew, and of course someone sent you that, I’m not even surprised.”

  “I think Rachel was with you, actually. I still can’t believe how close you two used to be, it still gives me shivers, and—”

  “Blake, confession time is over,” I cut her off, trying to signal that Sterling is beside me. I look over at the bartender, silently willing him to hurry with the drinks.

  Her eyes widen in recognition as she looks past my shoulder, and after a quick surprise yelp, she scampers off with a quick apology.

  Our drinks are placed in front of us, and I risk a look at his face. He looks amused, but it does little to dull the embarrassment I feel reddening my cheeks. Thankfully though, my tan skin shouldn’t make it too obvious.

  “Is this the part where you tease me?” I mumble over my straw, taking a long sip of slushed alcohol.

  “No.” He takes a slow sip from his own glass. “You’re an enigma, Perrie, and I look forward to learning every piece that keeps you together.”

  “Not even a drink in and already you’re sweet-talking me,” I murmur, belly warming with the fresh tequila settling in. “You’re dangerous, and I’m afraid to admit that I’m not sure how long I can fight against logic when my body is screaming to know yours.”

  “The day’s still young,” he states quietly, leaning in.

  I breathe him in, trying to find some sort of resolve. I’m better than this. Aren’t I?

  We’re about to find out.

  I’m dancing to the low sounds of an outplayed radio song a few feet from the beach house, and the warm summer night air cools my skin. My heels are long gone, and my feet sink in and out of the sand with each sway I make. I stopped drinking once the sun set and day turned to night because I wanted a clear enough mind to actually enjoy the end of the party.

  At some point, after a few more drinks and charged, flirty conversation with Sterling, I excused myself. It was too much, and my willpower was burning to basically nothing. Distancing myself helped me recharge, and I’m almost sure that the next time I see him, I’ll be one hundred percent fierce and normal. Well, normal ish.

  Actually, who am I kidding? My willpower is still pitiful right now.

  I wave to old friends and new connections making their way to waiting and parked cars. I haven’t seen Sterling or his friend since I hid between a few floormates from my first year of college, which was doubly successful because they needed some basic PR help that would benefit me and them. So, yay.

  I plop down in the sand and face the ocean. I should probably say goodbye to each person leaving, but there were so many who showed up, it would take hours. Thankfully, I spotted Blake yelling and waving thank yous by the front gate not too long ago.

  “She really is the best,” I sigh to myself, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my chin on top.

  I stare out at the moonlit ocean and think about the day. It was a good day, and it makes me feel like a shitty friend to admit that I actually enjoy Sterling’s company. We’re adults, so we shouldn’t need anyone’s permission to have a friendship or whatever else we might want. But there’s a reason girl code is so widely known. There are just some lines that can never be crossed because once they are, they can’t be uncrossed.

  “You’re stronger than this, Perrie, and you’re an adult,” I say aloud, my voice sounding more whiny than I’d like to admit. Huh. Guess I’m not as sobered up as I thought. “He’s just a guy, and he isn’t worth the damage that’ll come from all angles if you follow your body, even if your heart is trying to push through with an appearance.”

  What am I on right now? I need to get myself together and stop fussing over something that’s probably not even an issue.

  I’m tired of stressing over this, tired of worrying about someone like Rachel, my used to be best friend, who wouldn’t take my feelings into account if it meant she’d get some sort of gratification.

  I stand abruptly and stumble slightly, not bothering to dust the sand off my jeans.

  I’m done obsessing and driving myself crazy. If you want something, you should just go for it, right? Well, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

  I run toward the nearly empty house in search of the one person capable of calming my racing thoughts. I only hope I don’t regret it in the morning.

  12

  Sterling

  I lean against the railing of the second floor balcony and take a leisurely sip of my whiskey as I watch the inky expanse of the ocean laid out before me. Many of the partygoers left or are in the process of leaving, and the subdued twinkling of the stars lends an extra sense of privacy to my little hiding spot.

  The party wasn’t a complete bust, but it’s a far cry from the best night of my life Perrie promised. I’ve lived every day of my life with the world at my fingertips, and I’ve indulged. Oh, how I’ve indulged. It’ll take a lot more than a college throwback party dressed up as a casual business social to top my list of incredible nights, but I can’t blame Perrie for trying.

  After our run-in wit
h Blake, my feisty little friend started to toss back drinks faster than was wise, and she soon tottered off to mingle with the rest of the party. She’s a big girl, so I let her go and watched on in amusement as she made the rounds. When I was sure no one would take advantage of her flirty demeanor, I went to the bar. No sooner did I have my drink than I found myself surrounded by curious strangers who wanted to tell me all about their business or club or charity and how it’d be so great to have the backing of a Montgomery. I roll my eyes at the memory; I called it.

  Cooper texted saying he’d catch up with me later, so I know he found company for the night. Truth be told, the only reason I haven’t left yet is because I want to say bye to Perrie. I’ve already pegged her as the type of girl who doesn’t usually do one-night stands, so I know I’ll run into her eventually.

  I sip the same drink I’ve been nursing—it’s no Macallan, but it’ll do—and hear the soft sound of the sliding door behind me. I don’t turn around, and the staccato sound of heels heading my way signals the end of my moment of solitude. Out of the corner of my eye, a statuesque brunette I didn’t see earlier appears. Hmm, this night just got more interesting.

  “What are you doing out here all by your lonesome?”

  She turns to look at me, but I continue to let her stare at my profile as I face forward.

  “Enjoying my solitude.”

  “Solitude is overrated on a night like this.”

  “And what kind of night is this?”

  “A night for secrets...and a night for sex.”

  Oh, she’s bold, this one. I finally turn to look at her and keep my left elbow on the railing. She’s pretty, much in the same way Rachel is, but her darker coloring gives her features some of the much-needed warmth lacking in my ex. I let my eyes drift over her, and she thrusts her perky tits out at my inspection. She’s slender, and her upswept locks showcase vivid blue eyes and draw attention to her long, pale neck. She’s attractive, but so far she doesn’t elicit a reaction in me. Pity. She’d be a nice distraction tonight.