The Case of the Misplaced Hero

by Camille LaGuire

looked over his notes.

  "Indeed, sir," said the valet, whose name was Marlon Evans, according to the notes. Rozinshura had left Evans and Lady Featherdale to last because they were busy making themselves useful. And given how little the valet had said, he must know a lot.

  The captain hobbled around to the back of the bar, and found the two of them, huddled together, covertly pouring cheap brandy into one of the bottles of the good stuff. For a moment Rozinshura was worried that they had run out of the good brandy, but one look in the box showed him most of the bottles still full and unopened.

  "Evans thought there is no need to use up your entire stash on people who won't even notice," said Lady Featherdale.

  "I think you are Awarshi," said Rozinshura to Evans. "I should call you kinchin."

  "You do me too much honor," said the valet dryly. "It was her ladyship's idea."

  "There is no one more stingy than an Imprish noblewoman hosting an event," said Lady Featherdale.

  "Then I shall call you kinchin."

  "Thank you," she said, and then after a pause, she added. "Might I ask, what does kinchin mean, exactly?"

  "It means cousin. Everything is family in Awarshawa. Is why we fight so much."

  Rozinshura smiled and pulled up a stool. Then he opened his notebook and settled down to business:

  "I am told that you two rescued the ambassador."

  "We can hardly take credit for that, sir," said Evans. "We simply dragged him along when we made our own escape."

  "Do you think the bandits were there to kidnap him?"

  "I've no idea," said Lady Featherdale. "But they were looking for specific people. They had a list."

  "I heard them ask for the baroness," added Evans.

  "That's right," said the lady. "That's when poor Miss Vilthrop stood up. She answered them as if she were the baroness, and that distracted them. We would not have escaped if it hadn't been for her."

  Rozinshura flipped some pages on his notes. "Miss Vilthrop is the paid companion of Lady Blinkersley?"

  "Yes, and normally she's such a quiet, sheltered little mouse," said Lady Featherdale. "Who knew what fortitude she had inside?"

  "The baronessa...is she a diplomat too? Perhaps she carries secrets?"

  "Hardly! She's just a wild young twit with scads of money," said Lady Featherdale. "She wasn't even supposed to be on the train. She'd run off with some dance instructor. Her cousins tracked her down, and Lord Blinkersley volunteered to bring them back. I expect that the bandits wanted her for the ransom."

  "But she wasn't supposed to be there. How did the bandits know?"

  "Gossip, I suppose."

  Gossip, or spies, thought Rozinshura. Was there a difference? All opportunists trade in such information.

  At this point the blootchkes arrived, and Evans stepped out to snag a plate from the roving waiter. Rozinshura looked at his notes for a moment.

  This story seemed to account for two of the missing passengers: Miss Vilthrop and the baroness were taken by the bandits. But there were still two men unaccounted for. Winslow Argoss and Charles Emmett -- both diplomatic undersecretaries. One old, one young. A professor and a student? A drunk and a spy?

  "Did you see if Mr. Argoss and Mr. Emmett were taken by the bandits as well?"

  "I didn't see it, but they were at the other end of the car with the baroness." Lady Featherdale looked at Evans, who nodded in agreement.

  "Do you know Winslow Argoss?"

  "Not as well as Lord Blinkersley does," said Lady Featherdale.

  "I spoke to him..."

  "And he wouldn't talk?"

  "I think my questions were too indiscrete," said Rozinshura.

  "Goodness, what were they?"

  "Did Argoss carry secret documents, would he be drunk, and would he give a false name?"

  "And his lordship said 'None of your beeswax!'" said Lady Featherdale. "Well, I wouldn't know about the secrets or false names, but Winston Argoss would never be drunk. He's teetotal."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yes, I am sure. Why are you asking?"

  Rozinshura took a deep breath

  "We ... have a drunken man who has no papers. We should arrest him, but I think he is from the wreck, and he fits the description of Mr. Argoss."

  "I see," said Lady Featherdale with growing concern. "He's an old man. Are you sure he's not just in shock?"

  "If he is in shock, he is assuredly also drunk."

  "That doesn't sound like Argoss."

  "There is nobody else it could be," said Rozinshura. "Lady Featherdale, would you look at him and say if you know him?"

  "Gladly," she said, so he pulled himself to his feet and led the way to the kitchen....

  Episode 24

  Action In The Alcove

  Alex found a small glass and filled it with the spiked wine. He poured in a dose of the ipecac, swirled it and returned to the alcove.

  The girl was no longer sitting like a stone. She was talking with Pookiterin, looking him firmly in the eye, as if she were interrogating him.

  "What makes you think that poor drunken old man is a spy?"

  "He does not interest me," said Pookiterin. Her gaze was steady and seemed to disconcert him.

  "Did he fit a description? What were your orders?"

  "He was simply out of place!" he said. He pulled back and went to the other side of the table to face her. Then he paused and suddenly laughed. "You are flirting with me!" he said with a grin. He sat and leaned toward her. "Please continue!"

  Now it was the girl's turn to look disconcerted. She stared at him for a moment, mouth open. But then she took a deep breath and continued her interrogation, with a fake simper in her voice:

  "All right. Tell me, my precious darling colonel, did you have a report of a spy on that train? Is that why you are here?"

  "My interest is in you, my dear," answered the colonel. He got up and unbuttoned one more button on his already loose shirt. "Please, remove the scarf so I can see your face properly."

  "I must keep it on," said the girl. "I am bald."

  The colonel paused, and a flicker of disgust crossed his face, but then the girl's eyes flicked upward, to the colonel's own bald pate, and he knew he was being made fun of. Rage twisted his face and like a shot, his hand flew forward. But he didn't strike her, he only grabbed her scarf and yanked it off.

  She was not bald. She had a thick, shiny head of wavy chestnut hair, cut into a short bob. Alex stepped into the alcove before things could go further.

  "Would you like some brandy, sir?"

  "Get out!" roared Pookiterin. Alex set the drink on the table in front of him, and backed out -- but no further than necessary.

  Pookiterin went back to leering at the girl. He put his fingers on the base of the glass... and pushed it toward her.

  "Please, for you, my dear."

  Oh, crap. The last thing Alex wanted was to make her sick.

  The girl looked at the glass with distaste. Alex tried to catch her eye. She glanced up, and he shook his head vigorously. Did she see? She picked up the glass as if she were about to take a drink, and smiled coyly at the colonel. Alex raised his hand signal more obviously, but the girl ignored him. She brought the glass closer to her lips, making eyes at the colonel, who leaned closer, and then...

  "No thank you, you old lecher!" she cried.

  She jumped to her feet and threw the wine in his face. She then dashed toward the door of the alcove. Alex stepped back to make way, and block any interference from the guards.

  But she didn't even leave the alcove. Instead, her fast break was for the corner where the colonel had hung his coat... and his sword belt.

  She had his sword before he could even clear his eyes of wine, and she whirled it around over her head. It was a small space, but she managed to not hit anything but the tip of Pookiterin's mustache, which she trimmed as neatly as with a pair of scissors. She then pressed the tip of the sword
to his throat.

  "Back!" she said. "To the window with you!"

  He stumbled backwards, the sword point pushing deep into the soft part of his throat, under the chin.

  She backed Pookiterin to the window, and made him open it. Then she maneuvered around and pushed him back. With a quick, backward leap, she was up on the window sill, and then she vanished.

  Alex glanced back, and saw that there were other people in the room now, including Rozinshura, who stood blocking the doorway. The guards were half on their feet, but they were right next to the larder.

  There was nothing Alex could do for Thorny just now, but he could help the girl. He was closest to the window. He could pretend to chase the girl, and hamper the efforts of others.

  Alex went straight out the window.

  Episode 25

  The Chase

  By the time Alex jumped out the window, the girl was nowhere to be seen. She couldn't have made it over the wall or to the stable yet, could she? Then he heard a noise from above. He glanced up, and saw an open window, and foot disappearing through it.

  She went back into the building? That was insane.

  Just then one of the guards came running out the kitchen door. The man staggered from the booze, but he was on his feet and moving, rifle in hand.

  "She went over the wall!" said Alex, and he pointed the man to a pile of boxes. The guard staggered that way and proceeded to fail to climb them.

  By this time, the other guard was attempting to climb out the window. His rifle kept catching the bayonet on the window frame.

  Alex shoved him back and reached in to guide the gun through the window. Then he grabbed the man's collar and guided him through. The guard fell on his face, and lay still for a moment. Alex was afraid he'd broken his neck, but then he shook