“I think it’s you who needs to drop your guns,” the guy said.
“I don’t think so,” I quietly replied. I gave Sarah a hang-in-there look and directed all of my anger at Alexandria. “What the fuck?” I asked her.
“You followed me?” she asked, her eyes wide with shock.
“No shit, really?”
“Fuck you, Cas!” she spat. Evidently my sarcasm was not lost on her.
Hate, like I’d never know seared through me. “Your dad thinks you have changed. You haven’t changed one bit. You are still the spoiled rotten, selfish brat I married.”
“Hey now,” the guy with the gun said.
“I’m selfish?” she laughed. “What about my father? He has more money than God and all he does is sit on his golden throne and hoard it!” she shouted. I wanted to tell her Sterling was dying and she was getting it all, but my gut told me not to.
“Enough!” the guy screamed. “Drop your guns, now, or I shoot.” He pointed the gun at Sarah and Sally. I could tell from the tone of his voice he was not messing around. Bobby nodded at me and we both set our guns on the floor. “Kick them over to Alex,” he said. Bobby kicked his over, but I hesitated. The moment I gave up my gun we would no longer be on equal footing. He would have the upper hand, and I had no fucking idea where this was going.
“Shoot the dark, frizzy headed one first, Curtis.” Alexandria told him.
With a growl of frustration, I kicked my gun over to her. She picked it up off the ground and gave me an evil smile.
“Was one innocent death not enough for you?” I quietly asked.
With a look of disgust, she said, “Fuck you, Caswell! For the hundredth time, I did not kill Kalen.”
“Well, he sure didn’t unlock that door and drown on his own, now did he?” I asked. Someone gasped, but I ignored it.
“You have no idea what it was like. You were always gone and I was stuck in that house alone with him,” she whined.
“The fuck you were. We got a nanny, and for what? So you could go drug and drink our money away?” I snapped.
“Alexandria, babe, enough,” Curtis told her.
Her eyes narrowed into angry little slits. “Well if Daddy had given me my inheritance, like he was supposed to, instead of holding it over my head and constantly threatening me, we wouldn’t have had to get a nanny because we wouldn’t have existed!” she shouted.
Trepidation flared deep in my gut. “What do you mean he threatened you?”
“Alex, don’t,” Curtis warned again.
Ignoring him, she said, “See, I wanted to marry Curtis, here, but Daddy wouldn’t let me. He said Curtis wasn’t good enough for me. I begged and pleaded, but he told me if I married Curtis, he would disown me. So, like the dutiful daughter, I told him I broke it off with Curtis. Then I seduced you. Daddy was so happy to see me with you. I convinced him we were dating and he told me if we married, he would give me my inheritance as a wedding present. Only, how was I supposed to get you to marry me when you clearly couldn’t stand me?” She leaned forward and whispered, “Divine providence.”
“You got pregnant,” I stated.
“I never wanted a kid. Even after he was born I didn’t want him, but he was a means to an end.”
“He was our child,” I growled.
“He was my child,” she hissed, “Mine, not yours, not ever yours, Caswell.”
For a minute I couldn’t breathe. What does she mean, not mine? “He was more my son than he ever was yours and you know it!” I shouted.
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I found out I was pregnant a week after I slept with you. I knew it couldn’t be yours, but I needed it to be, so I paid someone to make it so.” She gave me a proud smile that made me want to crush her like a roach.
This got Curtis’s attention, because suddenly the gun was no longer pointed at Sarah and Sally, but at Alexandria. “What did you say?” he asked.
“You told me to do whatever it took to get the money, Curt, don’t play games now,” she warned.
His forehead crinkled in confusion. “If it wasn’t his kid, Alex, whose was it?” he quietly asked. His voice may have been calm, but the obvious tension in his body said he was anything but. Evidently Alexandria was too stupid to pick up on it, because she kept taunting him.
“Baby, you wanted me to have an abortion. We both agreed we weren’t going to have kids.”
“Yes, but that was before you got pregnant and told me it was his!” he shouted, pointing the gun at me.
“I had to lie! How else was I supposed to get the money?” she asked.
He swung the gun back to her. “See, now I don’t know what to believe! Was the kid mine? Did your dad ever say he was going to give you the money, or is this all one big fucking lie?” The pain in his voice made me wince.
“Jesus, Curtis, can’t we discuss this later without an audience?” she asked.
“No, we can’t! Answer me now, Alex!” he ordered.
“Fine! The kid was yours. Are you happy now? Kalen was yours and not Caswell’s!”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“I tried to the day I caught you with that bitch in your bed. That’s when I decided I was better off where I was.”
“You bitch!” Curtis screamed, and lunged for her. At the same time, she lifted the gun and pulled the trigger, hitting him in the chest. A look of shock appeared on his face right before he lifted his gun and shot her between the eyes. She dropped to the ground with a loud thud and Curtis let out an anguished, “Nooooooo!” He dropped down beside her, pulled her body onto his lap and started rocking back and forth. “I’m so sorry,” he chanted over and over again.
Movement from the kitchen caught my eye and I watched both Garrett and Tut walk in. Garrett dealt with Curtis and Alexandria, while Tut cut Sarah and Sally’s ties. As soon as they were free, Sarah scrambled over and threw her arms around me.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered through her tears.
I was completely numb.
It was all a lie.
Kalen was never mine.
It took some time for everyone to give their statements to the police. At some point the paramedics showed up and led Sarah away. She didn’t want to leave, but I told her to go and let them check her out. There were things I had to tell the police that I didn’t want her to hear. When the paramedic interrupted to tell me Sarah refused to go to the hospital to get stitched up, I asked Garrett to call Max.
Max showed up right as I was conferring with the police. He was both concerned and furious with his sister. I didn’t blame him one bit. What Sarah and Sally had done was both reckless and boneheaded.
Sarah’s eyes flashed with anger when she saw Max. “Did you call him?”
“You need to go to the hospital,” I told her.
“Are you coming with me?” Her vulnerability tugged at something deep inside of me.
“You go ahead. I need to finish up here and then I’ll be right behind you,” I told her.
With a nod of his head, Max wrapped his arm around her waist and led her to the ambulance. Before getting in she looked back over her shoulder. I could see tears glittering in her eyes and my stomach sank. Once again I was letting her down.
Bobby stepped up next to me. I could sense him watching me, but had nothing to say. “None of this is your fault, man.” What was I supposed to say to this? Thanks? Thanks for what? Nothing mattered, except for one thing; Kalen wasn’t my son.
“Is Tut getting Sterling?” I asked.
“He is bringing him to the hospital,” Bobby replied. “Cas, man,-” he started to say.
“Not now. Do me a favor and get a ride with Sally. She looks like she could use a friend.” Bobby glanced over at Sally, who was standing off to the side with a lost look on her face.
“I’m on it,” Bobby reluctantly said. The last thing I wanted was him mothering me right now. I needed to be alone with my thoughts.
On the drive to the hospital, I tho
ught about my life over the past four years and how messed up and lonely it had been. The only thing that kept me from walking away was Kalen. When he died, I lost my sense of purpose. Slowly, I learned to find a different purpose through work, friends, and finally, Sarah. In the blink of an eye, I felt it tumbling down around me, again, and I had not a fucking clue what to do about it. I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital and sat there. When Kalen died I blamed everyone and then ran away. What I didn’t do was face it. How do you face something like that? Alexandria is dead. Kalen was never my son. Nothing was real. How am I supposed to process this?
Sterling was waiting for me at the hospital entrance. I thanked Tut for bringing him over and then walked him down to the morgue to say goodbye to his daughter. He asked what happened and I told him it was an accident, because really, it was.
After he said goodbye, I walked him back to the waiting room, where Bobby was waiting to take him back to the condo. “She wanted to marry that boy,” he confessed.
“I know.”
His eyes flashed with surprise and then resignation. “I am sorry, son.”
“Me, too,” I told him, and I was, just not for the same reason he was.
“I’m going back to Wilmington the day after tomorrow. You’ll come home for her funeral?” he asked.
“I’ll be there,” I told him.
With his shoulders slumped in defeat, I watched him walk away, and then I went to find Sarah. I found Max and Ellie with Bobby and Sally in the ER waiting room.
“Sarah is getting stitched up. The nurse said someone would get us when she was finished,” Ellie told me.
“Did you know what they were up to?” Max asked us. Bobby and I shook our heads, no. Sally shot us a scathing look, which I returned with one of my own. Sally was in a world of trouble, she just didn’t know it yet.
“The family of Sarah McLellan!” a nurse shouted out.
I placed my hand on Max’s arm and said, “Let me.” Max nodded and I stood and said, “Here!”
I followed a nurse back to a room only slightly larger than a cubical. Sarah was reclining on a chair with her leg elevated. She smiled when she saw me.
“Before I kill Sally, I want to hear your version of what happened,” I told her.
Her smile faded to concern. “Please don’t be mad. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that, I swear.”
I leaned forward and said, “What wasn’t supposed to happen?”
“I can see you are angry, Cas.”
“I am furious, Sarah, now start talking.”
“Sally came to get me at work the other day. On the way home she had to stop by LASH to pick up some papers. We pulled in as Alexandria was storming out and we followed her to that guy’s house. We heard her screaming about money owed and having to marry you. She was really angry.” She paused to check for my reaction and I told her to continue. “We drove straight to your place, but you weren’t there, so we waited until the next morning. By then it was too late.”
“So instead of calling me, or pulling me aside, you stormed out of my place and decided to what, break into his? Do you realize if you had gotten caught, you could have gone to jail…or worse?” I asked.
She held up her hands. “Clearly we did not think that was going to happen. We just wanted a name, so we could figure out who the guy was and what he had to do with Alexandria.”
“Jesus, Sarah!” I blew out a frustrated breath.
“Please don’t be mad.”
“How did you get the cuts on your leg and head?” She flinched at my question and I wanted to punch something. “If that guy touched you, I will kill him,” I growled.
“I fell off the fence, alright?” she hesitantly admitted.
“What fence?”
“The one we had to climb in order to get into the backyard.”
“Why didn’t you just walk through the gate?” I asked.
“Because Sally checked and there wasn’t one,” she replied.
“Yes there was. I used it myself.”
A skeptical look appeared on her face. “Where?”
“The opposite side of the garage, right next to the house.”
“Bloody damn hell,” she whispered.
“And the cut on your head?” I asked.
“He hit me with something when he discovered me in the house.”
“Where was Sally when he hit you?”
“In the cellar.”
“In the cellar,” I repeated.
“Look, clearly this was not the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Ya think?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “I am sorry, Cas.”
I watched the tears fall and thought about what would have happened if I’d lost her. That’s when I knew she was better off without me. “I am no good for you, Sarah.”
Her breath hitched and more tears fell. “What do you mean?”
“You deserve someone who is whole, someone who isn’t fucked up,” I told her.
A tearful laugh escaped. “I can’t believe you are saying this to me, of all people. I am the queen of fucked up, Cas.”
“No, you are perfect, Sarah.”
“Perfect enough for anyone but you, right?” she sobbed.
I pushed off of the wall I’d been leaning on and squatted down in front of her. The hurt in her eyes nearly gutted me. “I love you. That will never change,” I whispered.
“I love you, too,” she whispered back.
I closed my eyes and let her words wash over me. Before I gave in to her, I leaned forward, kissed her on the forehead and said, “I’m sorry.” Then I stood and walked away.
Chapter Nineteen
Sarah
‡
I gave Cas two days to stew in his anger, before going after him. When I discovered he wasn’t home, I stopped by LASH.
“Cas isn’t here,” Bobby told me.
“Could you tell him I stopped by?”
“No, you misunderstand me, Cas isn’t in Charlotte,” he clarified.
Tension swept through me. “What do you mean he isn’t in Charlotte?”
He waved his hand through the air. “Look around, do you see him?” Bobby and I had always gotten along, but I didn’t like him so much at this moment. I stared blankly at him and waited for him to explain. Finally, he gave in. “He’s on a case out of town. He left yesterday morning and I have no idea when he’ll be back.” He wouldn’t look me in the eye and it bothered me.
“A-are you mad at me or something?”
His eyes lifted to mine and flared with anger. “What do you think?”
“Uh, I think you are mad. What I don’t know is why?”
He launched into me with no holds barred. “What you and Sally did was both foolish and stupid. It led to me possibly losing the best friend I’ve ever had. I’d say I have a pretty damn good reason to be mad, wouldn’t you?”
Each word felt like a kick to the stomach. Bobby was obviously furious, but I felt he was being unfair. Sure, Sally and I may have been idgits for breaking in, but I was in no way responsible for what happened between Alexandria and Curtis. No one was, but them. Needing clarification, I asked, “So you are blaming me and Sally for Curtis killing Alexandria?”
He let out an exasperated sigh. “No, Sarah, I blame you for Cas leaving.”
Wow, I have nothing to say to this. Disappointment engulfed me and before I broke down in tears, I turned and walked out the door. Bobby blames me for Cas leaving. What more is there to say?
* * *
Three weeks later
“Any word?” I asked.
“I told you I would let you know if I heard anything, and I will.”
Sally and I were sitting outside the Taco Truck on our lunch break. It had been three weeks since the incident at Curtis’s house and Cas’s disappearance. No one was talking about it and it was driving me mad.
The day Bobby told me Cas left Charlotte was one of the worst in my life. After walking out the door, I went back
to the apartment and crawled in to bed, where I spent the rest of the day crying. At some point Sally found me curled up in bed and made me tell her what happened. When I told her how Bobby blamed me for Cas leaving and what all he said she stormed out of the apartment, drove over to LASH and laid into him. A week later, Bobby called and tried to apologize, but I wanted none of it. No apology was going to change what was said and how he really felt about me. We both knew this.
I wasn’t the only one having a tough time, though. Garrett and the guys at LASH called Sally in the day after Bobby let me have it and rescinded their job offer. They told her they couldn’t see it working out given her poor judgement in the events leading up to the shooting. Sally and I do heartbroken very differently. I cry and she gets mad. The day after the guys at LASH told her they weren’t hiring her, she quit Dragonfly and applied for a job at Whisky’s. When I questioned her about it, she said she wanted fuck all to do with those people ever again. After her history of stalking Zane, I was shocked he agreed to hire her. I secretly think she was, too.
I have no idea where Cas is. He won’t return my calls or texts and, believe me, I have left him plenty. I miss him. I miss everything about him, including his stubborn bossiness. I’ve tried to find out where he is, but no one will tell me. All they say is that he doesn’t want to be found. I think they are full of shit.
Sally swallowed a man-sized bite of taco and asked, “What if you find Cas and he tells you he doesn’t want to be with you?”
The thought had crossed my mind on more than one occasion. In fact, I thought about it every single day. “Then he doesn’t want to be with me,” I half shrugged. “That doesn’t stop me from wanting to talk to him. He left before I told him how sorry I was about Kalen. I told him I loved him, but I didn’t get the chance to tell him why.”
“That thing with his kid, who really wasn’t his kid, is all kinds of messed up,” Sally said.
I more than agreed with her. The look of devastation on Cas’s face when Alexandria told him Kalen wasn’t his would be forever burned in my memory. “I just need to know he’s okay, that’s all. If he wants nothing to do with me after we talk, then I will have to learn to live with it,” I told her.
Keep It Simple (MMG Series Book 4) Page 23