The Married Girls

by Diney Costeloe

  Would she? Norman wasn’t at all sure about that, but it was too late to consult Ethel now, and after all, Daphne was expecting Janet and was going to meet the train. Yes, he convinced himself, Janet’d be fine. It’d do her good to get out of London and spend a few days in the country, breathing fresh country air. Yes, she’d be all right.

  When Janet reached Paddington station she bought herself a single ticket to Cheddar, wherever that was. She had been to the local station and made enquiries about how to get there and the man had looked it up for her. The nearest station for Wynsdown was Cheddar and she knew she had to change twice on the way. What she was going to do when she got to Cheddar she wasn’t sure, perhaps there’d be a bus... yes, surely there’d be a bus. Janet was used to living in a city where buses passed every few minutes, but if there wasn’t one for some reason, she had Daphne’s telephone number in her pocket and she could ring up and ask to be fetched. As she boarded the train at Paddington, she felt a shiver of anticipation, a mixture of nervousness and determination. Daphne certainly wasn’t expecting her, but she could hardly turn her out when she’d come all the way from London and had nowhere else to go. She gripped her suitcase tightly and set it by her feet when she’d found a window seat in a third-class carriage. The journey was long and Janet was pleased that she’d thought to bring a doorstep sandwich made with the last of the cheese ration to eat on the way. With that and an apple she’d have to make do until she got to Daphne’s.

  When at last she had managed the two changes required, she got out at Cheddar station. As she gave up her ticket she looked about her. The porter saw her standing alone and asked if he could help.

  ‘You look a bit lost, miss,’ he said. ‘Someone meant to be coming to meet you, are they?’

  Bucked up at being addressed as ‘miss’ as if she was a grown-up, Janet said, ‘I was hoping there was a bus to Wynsdown.’

  ‘There is,’ the man told her, ‘but it’s Saturday. Last bus in half an hour.’ He directed her to the bus stop in the main street. She saw a telephone box. Should she ring Daphne and ask her to come and fetch her? No, she decided, I’ll wait and see if the bus comes. Time enough to ring Daphne if it doesn’t.

  Not wanting to risk missing the bus she went straight to the stop. As she waited she rehearsed what she would say when Daphne, or perhaps her husband Felix, opened the front door and found her on the doorstep; what they might say to her was a different thing altogether. When the bus arrived she clambered aboard, paid her fare and asked the driver to tell her when they got there. Then as the bus lumbered out of the village and up the hill, Janet stared out of the window at the alien countryside; open fields, no streets and hardly a house in sight.

  The bus rumbled into a village and stopped outside a pub on the village green.

  ‘Wynsdown,’ the driver told her and she gathered up her suitcase and, along with several other passengers, got off. Here there were houses all round, but which one was Daphne’s? The address just said The Manor House, Wynsdown. Which house was The Manor House? Somehow she’d thought it would be obvious. Who could she ask? There were a few people about, but none of them was taking any notice of her. She glanced back at the pub. Better go and ask in there, she supposed. She was about to do so when she saw a figure walking across the green towards her. She thought she recognised him but stared at him for a moment or two just to be sure before stepping hesitantly forward.

  Felix had been to see his mother. Just recently she seemed much more frail, and he liked to look in on her every couple of days. They’d had a cup of tea and a chat and then he’d said he had to get back.

  ‘There’s a stack of paperwork waiting for me,’ he said. ‘Daphne’s gone in to Bristol, to see Jane, so I’ll have a chance to get on with it before she gets back. We’ll see you tomorrow for lunch.’

  As he was approaching the village green the Cheddar bus arrived, disgorging its passengers outside the pub. The sky was grey with dark clouds threatening rain and most of the people scurried away, hoping to be home before the heavens opened. One lone traveller stood, a suitcase at her feet, watching the bus disappear. She was young, about fourteen or fifteen. Even as he looked at her he thought she seemed vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t place her. She came towards him, clearly wanting to speak to him. Was she lost? he wondered.

  ‘Felix?’ She stopped in front of him and looked up into his bewildered face. ‘Felix? It is you, isn’t it?’ Now they were so close she felt suddenly uncertain. ‘Felix?’

  Felix nodded, saying, ‘Yes, I’m Felix Bellinger, and you are...?’ He let the question hang in the air.

  ‘You don’t recognise me, me do you? I’m not surprised really, you haven’t seen me for ages. I’m Janet. Daph’s sister.’

  Felix stared at her, she’d only been a child when he’d last seen her. ‘Janet?’ he said incredulously. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘I’ve come to stay. Mum’s not well and Dad’s sent me to Daphne.’ She shifted awkwardly on her feet, uncomfortable with the lie, but compounding it said, ‘He wrote. Didn’t you get the letter? Didn’t you know I was coming?’

  ‘No,’ Felix replied, ‘no we didn’t, but that doesn’t matter now you’re here. It’s lovely to see you. Come on, let’s go home. Have you had anything to eat?’

  ‘I had a sandwich on the train.’

  ‘And you came all this way by yourself? On the train by yourself?’

  ‘Of course,’ cried Janet scornfully, ‘I’m not a baby. I’m nearly fifteen! And Dad said Daphne would be there to meet me at Cheddar, but when she wasn’t, there was a porter who told me which bus to catch... and here I am.’

  ‘Well,’ said Felix, ‘I’m glad you’re here safe and sound. Come on, let’s get home before it rains. I think Daphne’s visiting a friend in Bristol, but she’ll be back soon.’

  *

  Daphne was indeed visiting Jane. She hadn’t seen her for two weeks and she’d driven up to Bristol to spend the whole day with her. Since the day Jane had actually seduced her, and they’d passed from being friends to being lovers, Daphne had lived a double life. She had to be careful, but she found that she could cope better as Felix’s wife now that she had the security of Jane in the background. She never encouraged intimacy with him, but on the rare occasions he did take her in his arms, though she still found it distasteful, she found herself able to submit, lying passively until he’d finished and rolled away.

  With Jane it was quite different. Jane usually took the lead as she had that first day, but Daphne never held back, was never submissive unless required to be, and then it was submission with an animal edge. When she did take control it left them gasping, exhausted and yet aching for more.

  Now they were indeed soulmates, they could talk about anything and everything. Daphne had finally told Jane how she had lied to Felix about being unable to conceive. ‘I still have to be very careful, just in case.’

  ‘Well,’ Jane had giggled, ‘you’re quite safe with me. I promise not to get you pregnant.’

  Today, Jane was waiting for her, her face flushed with anticipatory excitement.

  ‘Did you bring it?’ she cried as Daphne let herself in to the flat.

  ‘Da-dah!’ Daphne held up the carrier bag and Jane beamed at her. ‘Can we do it today?’

  ‘What I brought it for,’ grinned Daphne.

  ‘And you didn’t let Felix...?’ Jane let the question hang.

  ‘Course not, silly,’ said Daphne. ‘It was your idea!’

  ‘Go and put it on then. I promise not to look.’

  She waited in eager anticipation for Daphne to reappear, and when she did, dressed in her blue coronation dress, Jane found she had difficulty in breathing.

  They spent the whole day in bed, getting out only to open one of Peter Bellinger’s bottles of wine and bring the brimming glasses back to bed.

  ‘Felix’ll be wondering why his wine cellar is nearly empty,’ Jane said as she drained the last of the wine into their glasses. They lay,
completely relaxed amid the tumbled sheets, the bedroom windows open to summer air that cooled their heated bodies.

  ‘I don’t think he goes down there much, but anyway, there are still loads of bottles, all in racks and I always take from the back.’

  This weekend Jane had both days off, and Daphne had originally suggested that she stay the night as she sometimes did, telling Felix that they were going to the pictures, or meeting some of Jane’s other friends.

  ‘Sorry,’ Jane said, ‘no can do. I’ve said I’ll go home this evening and visit the parents.’

  Daphne pulled a face. ‘That means I shan’t see you till Friday!’

  ‘Well,’ Jane said, absent-mindedly stroking Daphne’s thigh, ‘I’m staying home till after lunch tomorrow. Why don’t we meet up at the quarry after that?’ She flicked her tongue across her lips. ‘Know what I mean?’

  Daphne did know and smiled. They had met several times in the old quarry, sheltered beneath an overhang of rock and hidden from view by the brambles that had long since colonised the area. It was a private place, their private place, perfect for illicit love.

  ‘Do my best,’ she said. ‘Probably have to have lunch with the mother-in-law, but I’ll see you there, later on.’

  Daphne gently removed Jane’s fingers from her thigh and leant over to kiss her.

  ‘I’d better get going,’ she said as she slid off the bed. She hated to leave Jane lying back on the bed, her long legs still spread, but she gave her one final kiss and then another before getting up and putting her clothes on.

  Jane watched her as she dressed. ‘Where does Felix think you are today?’ she asked idly.

  ‘With you,’ Daphne replied. ‘He knows I’m with you, but he doesn’t know what we’re doing.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘I make that bit up.’

  ‘I suppose I’d better get up, too,’ said Jane, without moving. ‘I’m expected in time for dinner. But I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  ‘Promise.’ And with that Daphne closed the bedroom door firmly on the sight of Jane naked on the bed, and left the flat.

  Outside, she walked through the freshness of the evening to where she’d parked the car. Her whole body seemed to be vibrating with life as she sat in the car and drove home. She was amazed that Felix hadn’t noticed the change in her when she came home from visiting Jane in Bristol. Perhaps he had. Perhaps he thought she had a lover there, that she was having an affair. Well, she thought as she drove up over the hills towards Wynsdown, she was, but not the sort he would imagine.

  She pulled into the manor driveway and parked the car. As she got out, the front door opened and she saw someone standing on the step. For a moment she didn’t recognise her daughter, but when she did it was as if the whole world were tilting.

  ‘Janet?’

  ‘Hi, Daphne,’ cried the girl. ‘Surprise, surprise!’

  38

  ‘Janet, what the hell are you doing here?’ Daphne stared at her daughter in horror. ‘What’s happened, are Mum and Dad here too?’

  ‘Course not.’ Janet shook her head. ‘You know Mum’s in the hospital having her appendix out, and Dad’s got the garage.’

  Daphne glanced into the hall to see if Felix was near enough to overhear. She hadn’t told him that her mother was ill, she knew he would have nagged her to go and visit and she had no intention of doing so.

  ‘When did you get here? How did you come?’

  ‘On the train, of course.’ Janet fixed her sister with a stare as she repeated the lie she’d told Felix earlier. ‘Didn’t you get Dad’s letter, saying I was coming? Telling you to meet me at the station?’

  ‘No, I didn’t. Why’ve you come?’

  At that moment Felix appeared at the front door. ‘Aren’t you girls coming in? You’re getting wet!’

  ‘Of course,’ said Daphne, gathering her wits. ‘I was just so surprised to see our Janet here, and all so grown up.’ She reached out and took her daughter’s hand. ‘Let’s go inside, and you can tell me all about it.’

  Determined to keep the conversation light and general until she could get Janet alone to discover the situation back in Hackney, Daphne chatted carelessly as she rustled up a scratch meal of scrambled eggs and bacon. As Daphne placed the plate in front of her, Janet stared at the food. How did Daphne get hold of enough eggs and bacon to fill three plates?

  ‘You didn’t tell me your mother was in hospital,’ Felix said to Daphne when he joined them at the table. ‘Janet’s been telling me how she was rushed in with a burst appendix.’

  ‘I didn’t know,’ asserted Daphne, the warning in her eyes silencing Janet before she could say anything to the contrary.

  ‘Janet said your father rang when it happened.’

  ‘He can’t have got through,’ Daphne said, ‘unless of course Mavis took a message and forgot to pass it on. It would be just like her.’

  Felix let the matter drop. He knew that Daphne must be lying, but decided not to have it out with her in front of her sister.

  ‘So, tell me how poor Mum is doing,’ Daphne said, turning back to Janet.

  ‘She’s getting better, but she’ll be in the hospital for a while yet,’ Janet replied, adding with wide eyes, ‘She nearly died, you know. The doctor who talked to Dad said that she only just got there in time.’

  Hearing this, Daphne was surprised to feel a twinge of anxiety. Her mother had been so near to death and she hadn’t known. How might she have felt if Mum had died and she hadn’t seen her again? Relief, tinged with guilt... or guilt tinged with relief?

  ‘But she’s on the mend now, isn’t she?’

  Janet, her mouth full of scrambled egg, nodded.

  ‘Well, that’s good then,’ Daphne said.

  At the end of the meal Felix said he had work to do and disappeared into the farm office. Daphne gathered up the dirty plates and put them in the sink.

  ‘Better get these sorted, I suppose,’ she said, turning on the tap. ‘Then I’ll show you where you’ll sleep.’

  ‘Oh, I’ve been up there already,’ Janet told her. ‘Felix showed me.’

  They had hurried home as it began to drizzle, Felix leading the way down the lane and in through the manor gates. When she saw the house Janet stood stock-still, staring.

  ‘Is this your house?’ she whispered. ‘Does Daphne live here?’

  ‘Yes, this is where we live. Come on, Janet, let’s get in out of the rain.’ He opened the front door and Janet followed him inside, her eyes round at the sight of her sister’s home.

  Felix had been rather at a loss as to what to do next. ‘Tell you what,’ he said. ‘Why don’t I show you where you’ll be sleeping and you can unpack while I make us both a cup of tea and perhaps find some cake.’ He picked up her bag and led the way upstairs, opening the door of the blue spare room.

  ‘This is your room,’ he said, exactly as if he’d been expecting her and the room had been prepared. He stood aside to let her in.

  Janet was entranced by the room with its blue curtains and blue bedcovers. There was a fireplace with an embroidered screen covering it, a chest of drawers with a china ballerina dancing across the top and a wardrobe built into one corner. She went to the window and kneeling up on its window seat, looked out over the driveway and the front garden. Fancy Daphne living in a house like this. No wonder she didn’t want to come back to visit them in Hackney.

  ‘I’ll leave you to it,’ Felix said. ‘Bathroom’s just opposite. Come down when you’re ready.’

  Janet had listened to his steps going down the stairs and then crept back out onto the landing. She used the toilet and then went quickly and quietly along the landing opening doors and peering into the rooms beyond. It was clear which was Daphne and Felix’s, furnished with a large bed, a heavy old wardrobe and a dressing table untidy with bottles and jars. Some of Daphne’s clothes were heaped on a chair, but apart from some slippers under the bed and a shirt thrown over another chair, there seemed to be little of Felix in the room. She peeped into the other
rooms, one of which had obviously been Felix’s childhood bedroom, with a well-filled bookcase and a shelf displaying model aeroplanes, but the rest looked Spartan and unused. She closed the doors on those and went back into her own room. She didn’t unpack her clothes, simply removed the birth certificate and put it under her pillow, ready to show it to Daphne when the moment arose. It had been as she closed the case again that she’d heard the car turn into the drive and ran down the stairs to greet her sister.

  ‘Well,’ said Daphne when the kitchen was clear, ‘let’s go and sit down and you can tell me why you really came.’ She saw the light showing under the door to Felix’s office and knowing he was safely out of the way, led Janet into the sitting room, shutting the door firmly behind her. ‘Now,’ she said, ‘what are you doing here?’

  ‘We broke up for the holidays and with Mum in the hospital for some time yet, Dad thought it’d be a good idea if I came to you for a while.’

  ‘What did Mum say?’

  Janet shrugged. ‘She doesn’t know, or she didn’t. ’Spect Dad’s told her by now.’

  ‘I can’t believe it was Dad’s idea to send you off down here.’ Daphne fixed her daughter with a gimlet eye. ‘In fact, I don’t believe it. It was your idea, wasn’t it?’

  ‘He wrote to you.’

  ‘No, he didn’t,’ said Daphne firmly. ‘You’re lying. You lied to Felix and now you’re lying to me. I’m not stupid, Janet.’

  Janet shifted awkwardly under Daphne’s gaze. ‘I wanted to see you.’

  ‘Did you?’ Daphne’s voice was laden with sarcasm. ‘Or did you just want to come and sponge off us for a few weeks?’

  ‘I wanted to ask you something,’ Janet said defensively. She hadn’t been sure how welcome she was going to be, but had been more worried about Felix’s reaction to her unannounced arrival than Daphne’s. She’d got it wrong. Felix had been welcoming, but Daphne was decidedly hostile.