Bully Me: Class of 2020

by Shantel Tessier

  “Showed up early to get warm for us, huh, Trailer Park?” Raz asks, circling around me like a shark. I just stay where I am, situated on a log near the fire, the half-empty bottle of tequila clutched in my hand. When Raz reaches out to snatch it from me, I let him have it. He swigs a bunch and passes it over to Sonja, his partner in crime. Pretty sure that amongst the Knight Crew, they’re best friends. It’s rare to see them apart, like I did this morning, and I’m pretty sure that they spend a lot of time scamming on girls together. A perfect pair of monsters.

  Barron sits down on my right side, his sketchbook tucked under his arm, another lollipop in his mouth.

  “I heard a rumor once,” I slur as the Knight Crew gathers around the fire, one of their lackeys setting up a net near the parking area to collect phones. No phone, no entry. If you don’t have a phone, well, you’re clearly not a student at Crescent Prep because every goddamn kid there has the latest technology in their hands at all times. It’s considered taboo to share anything that happens at the Devils’ Day Party anywhere outside of it.

  What happens here, stays here.

  Or it’s supposed to.

  If that first day was somehow real—although as I’m sitting here, drunk off my ass, I can’t for the life of me figure out how it could be—then someone has a video of me and Calix. More than likely, one of the people in this circle of firelight does.

  “A rumor about what?” Barron asks absently, still sucking on the candy and staring at me with that penetrating gaze of his. On the right, his brown eye seems contemplative, almost warm while the icy blue of his left comes across as cold and distant. A dichotomy. Heterochromia of the soul as well as the eyes. I laugh and reach for one of the bottles of wine, fumbling as I try to get the cork out.

  “That you eat all that candy because you’re trying not to drink,” I slur as Barron finally takes the wine bottle from my shaking hands. He doesn’t give it back though. Instead, he hands it over to Sonja and I scowl, swaying in my seat. Stupid Barron and his white sweatshirt smeared with charcoal, the smell of watermelons, and that weird way he always defends me and destroys me at the same time. Once, after I fell off a horse during a riding lesson—yeah, our school is so posh we have riding lessons for PE sometimes—Barron picked me up and carried me to the nurse’s office while everyone else in the Knight Crew laughed.

  Of course, as soon as I finished up there and headed into the locker room to change, I found my uniform shredded into pieces. Barron wore my bowtie around his neck for the rest of the week, while my moms struggled to come up with the money to afford a new uniform. They ended up selling several original paintings at a steep discount.

  “Is that what the rumors say?” he asks, but I notice he doesn’t take any of the bottles making their way around the campfire. I blink at him, but my alcohol-addled brain can’t decide if he just answered my question, or presented me with a whole new one. Instead, I lean forward and squint, trying to make out the ink on his chest. He’s wearing the same outfit as before, the white jacket with the curled coattails, dark jeans, black boots. When I reach out to run a finger down his bare chest, he snatches my hand in a crushing grip and then pulls me into his lap.

  My head spins, but at least I can finally see what his tattoo is.

  It’s a butterfly, but not just any butterfly, it’s a Diana fritillary, that same orange and black insect that I received as an anonymous gift. My eyes lift to his, but he isn’t looking at me. Instead, he’s watching as Calix saunters into the clearing with an entourage of his own, wearing that stupid crown with the berries that drip red onto his pale skin like blood.

  “It seems we have a willing guest,” Barron says, his voice rumbling beneath me as I struggle to put together my thoughts. Did he send me that necklace? And if he did, why? If it was Barron, I can only assume it was both a gift and a punishment, the beginning of some cruel trick. That’s how he works, in dichotomies. I just can’t figure the angle on this one. Or maybe I just don’t care?

  “Oh?” Calix asks, like he’s bored, his black velvet doublet unbuttoned to the navel, his crown askew on his head. “You actually showed up. More’s the pity.”

  “Really? Because I’m pretty damn excited about getting my dick sucked,” Raz quips, his dirty blonde hair streaked with silver glitter, his bloodred leather pants slung low enough on his hips that I can follow a trail of hair from his belly button down to his waistband. His cock is probably a scant few millimeters from popping out the top. The thought makes me giggle, and Raz shoots me a dirty look, like I’m not supposed to find any of this funny. I’m supposed to be the victim, right? This is not my role, sitting on a bully’s lap and reaching for a bottle of vodka.

  I stare at it for a long moment, vision blurring in and out of focus as I try to remember if I brought it here. But nope, it must’ve been somebody else. There are leaves and bits of dried flowers swirling around in the bottom, like this is some debauch offering for the demons and devils that live in the earth beneath our feet.

  Barron steals the bottle from me before I get a chance to drink any and hands it back to Sonja. Her lids are covered in bright, red glitter and her dress is so tight and short that I can see her panties underneath. I have no idea why Luke likes her, but maybe it has something to do with the forbidden? We all like to test our boundaries every now and again, don’t we? That must’ve been what drew me to Calix, wanting something I knew I couldn’t have.

  Lies.

  “No more alcohol for you,” Barron chastises, clicking his tongue and sucking on that damn lollipop of his. It’s turned his tongue a brilliant neon pink. He leans in and pushes some hair back from my ear, nuzzling the spot between my neck and shoulder and making me groan. Raz stares at the pair of us like he’s witnessing aliens setting foot on planet earth for the first time. I know I’m making a spectacle out of myself, but I can’t stop.

  Just like it felt good to throw that bottle, to watch it shatter, this feels the same way.

  Wild. Out of control. Broken.

  Free.

  “If you drink too much, you might not have the energy to suck me off,” Barron continues, and I laugh. There it is, that softness mixed with the deep, dark shadows of hate. We have a lot of practice in this game, me and the Knight Crew.

  “Really?” Calix asks, taking a seat between the two demon-faced girls with the diaphanous dresses. One of them is named Tamika and the other is Ariel, like the mermaid. I think. The only members of the Knight Crew I ever bothered to memorize were the ringleaders: Calix, Raz, Barron, Sonja. “You’re eighteen. Do you really want to fuck a drunk minor? Count me out.”

  “Are you stupid or something?” Raz growls out, looking at Calix like he’d rather choke him than party with him. At least there’s that, seeing him turn his hateful self on his friend. That was worth coming all the way out here for. The band begins to set up their instruments, and I wonder if tonight, I might actually get to see them play. “You have Karma Sartain right here, ready to open that pretty little mouth of hers and wrap those plump lips around your cock, and you’d say no to that?”

  “Drunk girls are sloppy fucks,” Calix says as Sonja hands the bottle of vodka with the dried flowers back to him, and he takes a drink. He doesn’t spill a single drop, and I find myself mesmerized as his throat works while he swallows. Tamika—or Ariel, I forget who’s who—presses her lips to the side of his neck and starts kissing him.

  I turn away with a scowl and spot Luke, staring at me through the trees with a wide-eyed, terrified sort of expression. As soon as she starts heading our way, I curse and stumble off of Barron’s lap. He catches one of my small hands in his big ones before I can take two stumbling steps.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he asks as Raz observes our interaction with a smirk. “We have special plans for you tonight.”

  “I know,” I slur back, leaning down and putting my hands on either one of his shoulders. It’s interesting, to be so close to those brown and blue eyes of his. The only time I�
�ve ever been this close was that first night, when I coerced him into making out with me, so I could steal the key. “You want to lock me in the treehouse where Calix took my virginity. Whatever. I’ll be back. I just want to talk to Luke.” Barron’s eyes widen slightly, and he flicks a glance in Calix’s direction.

  “Who the hell told you that?” Raz asks, but Barron is releasing me, and I’m stumbling away and falling into Luke’s arms with a laugh.

  “Karma, what the actual fuck?” Luke growls out, dragging me into the shadows and doing her best to steady me. Doesn’t work. I end up sitting on my ass in the leaves, still dressed in my stuffy Crescent Prep uniform. I tear off the purple blazer, loosen my tie, and unbutton my shirt to the navel, just like Calix. “Shit, I knew I shouldn’t have come here tonight.”

  “Why did you?” I slur, trying to squint up at her.

  “Because I was worried about you,” she says, frowning and then sighing. “Rightfully so it seems, since it looked like you were ready to stick your tongue down the Knight Crew’s throats.”

  “Where’s April?” I demand, wishing I had another drink. I feel like I’m losing my drunk, and I really don’t want that. As soon as that happens, I’ll have to face reality, a reality that feels more like a nightmare than anything else. Something surreal is happening to me, something wrong. But how can I tell Luke that? I told my moms and they rushed me to the ER and still, nothing happened.

  “I convinced her to stay home,” Luke says, and I frown. That’s not in the script. April is supposed to be at the party. “Which is where you’re going. Now, can you get up or do I need to carry you?”

  “I’m supposed to suck their dicks tonight,” I say, even though I never planned on doing any such thing. “The Knight Crew is expecting me.” I sweep an arm in their direction, indicating the glittering cruelty of their licentious little court.

  Luke curses under her breath again and then sweeps an arm around my waist, attempting to haul me to my feet. She’s unsuccessful, and I’m far too drunk to stand up on my own. Shame sweeps over me, hot and itchy beneath my skin.

  “I’m sorry, Luke,” I murmur, my eyes watering of their own volition. Don’t cry here, Karma. Don’t do it. They’ll see you and you’ll never live it down, no matter how many todays you have to live. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” she says, standing up and sweeping both palms over her hair as she looks around for a friendly face. The thing is, there are no friendly faces at Crescent Prep. There are even less friendly faces in the masked gathering that makes up the Devils’ Day Party. We may as well be on an island in the middle of the sea.

  Barron appears, stepping from the firelight and into the shadows, and my heart sinks. I’m going to end up drunk and helpless on a bed in a treehouse, and then … I don’t want to think about what could happen if the Knight Crew manages to get me away from Luke.

  “I know you don’t like her, but she’s way too drunk to be fooling around,” Luke says, glaring up at him from behind her goblin mask. Barron’s red leather devil mask sits on the top of his head and as he stares down at me, he very carefully pulls it back into place. “I’m honestly worried she’s going to get alcohol poisoning, or like, pass out and choke on her own vomit.”

  “Luke,” I start, realizing suddenly that I still have my phone on me. Everybody else’s has been put into the net and hauled into the tree. But not mine. That must mean Luke—who didn’t have her phone on night one—talked to my moms before she found me at the party. “Did you get a call from my parents before you came here?”

  My best friend freezes up, going perfectly still, like a deer caught in the headlights. She doesn’t even breathe as she drops her eyes to mine. Fury fills me in a vicious, violent wave, and even though I know I should keep my mouth shut, I don’t.

  “You talked to them about the sex tape?” I hiss out, my voice thick with alcohol and menace. Luke cringes and glances sidelong at Barron, like I should know better than to have this conversation in front of him. But even if this day were to end when I fell asleep, what would it matter? Because the video would still be out there, circulating in the cruel, idle hands of the Crescent Prep student body.

  “That’s why you’re drunk,” Luke says, casting her eyes to the side, where a group of students sits in a circle with a spell book on the ground between them. They don’t believe in it, most likely, or even care if it’s real. It’s all just a bit of Devils’ Day fun. Pranks, spells, sex. There’s nothing that’s off-limits tonight. The way she says it—that’s why you’re drunk—makes it seem like I need a valid excuse to let go, some reason that Luke can use to excuse my behavior.

  “Sex tape, huh?” Barron asks, sounding intrigued as he swirls his candy around in his mouth. “This is an interesting turn of events. What sort of sex tape?”

  “None of your damn business is what,” Luke snaps, but what’s the point of hiding it? It’s not like the whole world isn’t going to find out come tomorrow. Tomorrow. I almost laugh. Tomorrow is supposed to be one of the few guarantees in life. So long as you’re alive, this too, shall pass. There is always a sunrise; there’s always a tomorrow.

  “If you tell me, I’ll help you get her in the car,” Barron offers, sticking to his usual role of being half-saint, all asshole.

  “Me and Calix,” I blurt before Luke can respond. Now that I’m sitting in the cold, away from the fire and the glitter, I’m starting to feel sick. The last thing I want to do is throw up in front of Raz. “From last year.”

  “Somebody has footage of last year’s Devils’ Day party?” Barron clarifies, dark shadows sliding into his gaze. That’s a big no-no. Huge. Anyone caught taking pictures or video of the party becomes a social pariah—one with a social ranking far below even mine. One of my fellow freshmen in ninth grade made that mistake. The seniors turned him black and blue and broke his ribs. He never came back to Crescent Prep after that.

  “Apparently,” Luke snaps, sounding tired as she rips her goblin mask off and stuffs it into her back pocket. “Now, are you going to help me get her into the car or not?”

  Barron sticks his lollipop back in his mouth, reaching down and grabbing me with warm hands. He hefts me over his shoulder like so much luggage and starts off in the direction of the parking lot. I can’t see much except for his ass. That, and the long, curled tails of his coat, dusted with glitter and dragging across the ground.

  Luke sticks close behind, wary at having Barron’s help. The Knight Crew has never been kind to us. Any semblance of social nicety has always been a double-edged sword, a blade dipped in poison. It hurts, and then it keeps hurting. On their best behavior, they’re indifferent toward us.

  So although Barron’s carrying me to the car, we’ll pay some additional price for it later.

  If there is a later, that is.

  Manic laughter escapes my throat as he tosses me into the backseat of Luke’s convertible, staring down at my sprawled form with a curious expression on his wickedly handsome face.

  “Thanks … I guess,” Luke grinds out, doing her best to get me into the seatbelt before climbing in herself. She leaves the top down, despite the cold weather, and we reverse out of the parking lot, taking the windy trail through the trees slowly, carefully. Luke is always careful. “Stay awake for me, Karma,” she says as she turns her blinker on and turns left onto the main road, heading back toward Diamond Point.

  I let myself relax into the seat, staring up at the sea of stars above our head, as shiny and unfathomable as Barron’s gaze. Closing my eyes, I think of how it felt to sit in his lap, to feel him beneath me, and I wonder if I would’ve liked fucking him as much as I liked fucking Calix?

  More ludicrous laughter escapes my throat as I struggle to sit up, draping an arm over Luke’s seat and watching the road through the grimy windshield. There are fast food wrappers all over the floor, along with bags of brand-new baby clothes that Luke’s bought for April and keeps forgetting to give her, even when they ride in the same car together.


  “You talked to my moms today; you betrayed me.”

  Luke stiffens up, but she doesn’t acknowledge my words. I’m not being fair, I know, but I need someone to blame for all of this. And here she is, right in front of me. Besides, even if she did have my best interests in mind, I’m hurt.

  “Karma, I’m worried about you is all. You’ve been acting weird all day, so when I got the call …”

  “That’s not the only reason,” I argue, sniffling in the cold air. We’re going slow enough that we can still talk, even with the top down and the wind in our hair, but I still have to raise my voice to be heard. “Even if it were a normal day, you’d have talked to them, told them all my secrets.”

  “You can’t know that,” Luke retorts, but I can; I do. “And anyway, so what? They were worried. They weren’t sure if it was consensual …”

  “Did you watch the video?” I choke out, feeling my eyes water again. “Did you see it? Nobody could watch that and not realize how much I wanted it.”

  “Karma, stop,” Luke says, but I’m not done.

  “Nobody could watch that and miss the look on my face, the one on his …” I trail off, but there it is, out in the open. I can’t take it back.

  Luke takes the next turn much slower than the posted speed-limit, but as soon as we come around the bend, a pair of deer leap into the road in front of us. Just like it did the other night, things seem to happen in slow motion. Luke does what she’s been told—accelerating instead of breaking, doing her best to avoid the animals.

  But a third one hops out of the darkness of the woods at the last second, directly in front of us. The beast comes up and over the windshield as Luke screams and loses control of the convertible. Everything around me spins, the stars above me, then the road, the stars, the road.

  We come to a stop, sideways and straddling both lanes, upright.

  I force my aching body up, tearing off my seatbelt, the world blurring around me. But when I reach around the front seat for Luke, she isn’t there.