“Boys,” Aunt Karen calls out. “Come eat!”
I jerk my hand back and turn toward the window, hiding my boner, right as she makes her way into my room.
“Oh, good, you’ve got the desk cleared and ready to be taken apart.” Then, to me she says, “Hollis, hon, I made your favorite. Chili enchiladas.”
“Thanks, Aunt Karen.” I flash her a brief smile. “Be down in a second.” My stomach twists violently at the idea of eating chili anything.
She leaves and I catch Roan watching me with an unreadable expression. His guard is back up and his features are stony. Awesome. Back to square one.
_______________
“I’m so proud of you,” Mom says, reaching over the table and ruffling my hair. “And surprised. I didn’t think you’d try out.” She bites on her bottom lip, refraining from saying the rest. Your dad would be so proud of you too.
“You can thank Roan. He made it happen.”
Roan nearly chokes on his enchilada. He sucks down some tea and shoots me an annoyed look.
“How wonderful,” Mom tells him. “Thank you for inviting him. You’ve been great to my children and I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”
Roan’s cheeks turn redder than I’ve ever seen them. “It’s fine.”
“Roan’s a good big brother,” Roux tells her, pride in her tone. “When he finishes school, we’re going to live in our own house.”
Roan tenses and shoots her a look that has her shoulders slouching.
“What about your parents?” Mom asks.
Roan’s jaw ticks and I can tell he’s freaking out. So I save him. Neutral ground and all.
“Did you say you got cupcakes?” I waggle my brows at Mom.
She affixes her fake smile because she can sense the air is charged and I’m begging her to move on. “Duh,” she says, rolling her eyes, looking much younger than her thirty-eight years. “There’s a little bakery right next to the bank. When Karen told me about you making the team, I picked some up. There are all different flavors to choose from.” Then, to Roan, she smiles. “If you let me know your favorite, honey, I’ll make sure to get some for next time.”
“Roux loves chocolate like me,” Charlotte says, her mouth full of half-chewed enchiladas.
“I only like the icing,” Penny tells us grumpily. “Like Daddy.”
Mom and I deflate at her words. Sometimes it’s as though we’re the same person. Our moods are that similar.
“You can have my icing,” I offer, knowing full and damn well I’m not eating those cupcakes. My stomach is seizing violently at the few bites of spicy enchiladas. “For my favorite sister.”
“Hey!” Charlotte growls. “I’m the favorite.”
Penny sticks her tongue out at her. “No, you’re not!”
As they argue over who the favorite is—not that either cares about being favorite, just that they like to win—I lock eyes with Roan. His angry mask has fallen and he seems relaxed. I try not to obsess over the fact he looks good sitting at the table with my family. Like he belongs with us. Such a dumbass thing for a guy to think about another guy he met only days ago.
His easy smile fades when he looks down at my plate. Coppery brown eyes flash with anger, confusing me. Why the hell does he care what I do or don’t eat?
“When is Daddy coming to see us?” Penny asks Mom, jerking me from my internal thought.
“I spoke with him today,” Mom says with false cheer. “As soon as he gets a few days off. He can’t wait to see you. Maybe later you can call him and talk about it.”
Penny nods, revealing a rare smile.
The food I did manage to consume roils in my gut. It feels as though my stomach is on fire. Nerves. Worry. Stress. They seem to settle there and pulsate with energy. I grab my glass of tea and gulp it down, hoping to put out the internal fire. All it does is make me want to throw up.
Dad is coming.
Sooner rather than later.
I dread that day with every fiber of my being.
Chapter Ten
Roan
“I HAVE TO pee.”
I crack my eyes open and stare up at Roux’s sleepy face. “What time is it?”
“Time to pee.”
“Smartass.”
She laughs. “I can’t move that thing on my own.”
With a grumble that she woke my ass up at four in the morning, I climb out of bed and walk over to the dresser. Last night, after Ms. Frazier dropped us off, we made a beeline straight for our room. Alejandro was partying with some of his friends and I didn’t want to deal with any of them.
I move the dresser out of the way, and she bolts into the bathroom. Leaning against the wall next to the bathroom, I wait for her. Music plays from the living room, but I imagine everyone’s gone home or passed out. I’m yawning when I sense a presence.
Alejandro.
“Fucking pussy decided to come out of his cage?” he sneers, taking a menacing step toward me.
“Mom!” I bark out. “Call off your dog.”
Alejandro’s lip curls up. “She’s out.”
“Mom! Wake up!”
“Not asleep, dumbass. Out.”
Where in the fuck would she be at four in the morning?
“Leave us alone,” I warn.
Roux opens the door and steps out behind me. Alejandro’s eyes drop to her and he grins like a motherfucking wolf about to devour a bunny.
“Go to our room,” I hiss at her.
“Roan.” Her whine of terror is my undoing.
“Go!”
She scurries off and slams our bedroom door shut. I wish she were strong enough to move the dresser. Fisting my hands, I square my shoulders and glare at Alejandro.
“Leave us the hell alone.”
“This is my home, boy,” he sneers. “My rules.”
“Last time I checked, it’s HUD housing under Mom’s name and you’re not even supposed to be here.” I take a step forward, cracking my neck, ready to beat this motherfucker’s ass if need be.
His dilated pupils glimmer with hate and then he rushes me. I barely get a swing before I’m shoved into the wall, something cold digging beneath my jawbone at my throat.
“I could blow your fucking head off right now,” he threatens, grinding the barrel harder into my flesh. “Make your sister clean your brain matter off the wall.”
“You’d go to prison,” I spit back at him.
“So?”
“You don’t think my old man won’t find you and gut you like the pig you are for killing his son?”
His eyes narrow, but I know he contemplates my words. My dad is a mean bastard. Alejandro is nothing in comparison. With a cool expression, he takes a step backward. And then with a hard swing, he pistol whips me with his gun.
Pain explodes across my cheek and I stumble. He cracks me over the back of the head with the gun, sending me hurtling to the floor. I groan and blink away the dazed feeling. When I hear a scream, I get on my hands and knees, adrenaline fueling me. I rush into the room after him, ignoring the dizziness. Alejandro, with his gun in hand, swats at Roux like she’s a pesky little sister and they’re playing. This fucker is twisted, so I don’t want him playing anything with Roux. I tackle him, sending him crashing into the dresser. He snarls as I start wailing punches on his back. I manage to get one good one to his head and knock his ass out. With a grunt, I drag him out of our room and into Mom’s. Once the door is shut, I make my way back into our room, pushing the dresser back into place. I hide the gun under the mattress. The room spins and I crash into the end table, knocking over the lamp.
Roux is crying, but I’m so fucking tired.
I fall onto the bed now that she’s safe and pass out.
_______________
My head is killing me.
The voice on repeat is making it worse.
“Roan! Roan! Roan!”
Roux.
I force my eyes open. My sister sits beside me on the bed, sobbing. She hands me my ph
one.
“Who is it?” I croak. “Hello?”
“Oh, Roan, honey, thank God.”
“Mom?”
“No, baby, it’s Kelsey. Roux called the house phone crying. Hollis and I are on the way to come get you.”
“What?” I’m so fucking confused right now. “Why?”
“It’s not safe there.” Her voice is firm. Motherly. Fuck, it makes my heart hurt worse than my head. “We can bring you here—”
“No,” I bark out. “I mean, we have someplace to go. The fire station. I have a friend there.”
“We’ll be there shortly. If it feels unsafe to leave, let me know and I’ll call the police.”
“Please don’t,” I beg. I’m eighteen, but Roux? They’ll fucking take her from me.
“Okay,” she says with a ragged sigh. “Be there soon. You have Hollis’s cell if you need to call us.”
We hang up and I frown at Roux, which makes my head throb worse.
“Why did you call them?” I murmur, hurt in my tone. I always take care of her. We don’t need anyone else.
Her bottom lip wobbles. “I tried all your friends. No one answered.”
“Mike?”
“He must be asleep or at a fire. He didn’t answer either.”
“The dresser is there. We would’ve been fine,” I try, hating that I don’t even believe my own words.
“Not you,” she utters. “You’re bleeding and I think you have a concussion.”
“Okay, Dr. Hirsch.”
She laughs and the sound is a miracle worker. “My new best friend said she’s going to be a doctor like her dad when she grows up. I think I’ll be a doctor too.”
“Good,” I tease. “Then you can take care of me in my old age.”
I hug her to me and kiss the top of her head. We stay like that for a moment before we get up and pack our shit. Everything we own fits into a couple of bags. There’s no coming back here. Not after Alejandro pulled a gun on me. Next time, if he’s fucked up on drugs, he might just pull the trigger. I can’t live without Roux and I’ll be damned if I let her watch me die. I’m not sure where we’ll go or how we’ll manage, but I have to try. Anything is better than this. Hell, I’d be happy camping in my favorite tent at Cal’s campground if it meant never having to see Alejandro again.
“Let me make sure it’s clear first,” I tell Roux as I move the dresser from the door.
The apartment is quiet aside from the music playing in the living room. One quick look toward my mother’s door and it’s still shut. I walk back into our room, gather up most of the bags, and leave a couple for Roux to carry. Quietly, we slip out of the apartment. At five in the morning, no one is up. We make it out of the building and into the blistery cold just as a suped up Denali pulls up with Hollis at the wheel.
“Oh, thank God you’re both okay,” Kelsey cries out the moment the passenger door flings open. She rushes to the hatch and opens it. We toss our bags inside and she closes it. Before we can get in the car, she pulls us both to her for a hug. “I have you now. You’re safe.”
Tears burn at my eyes as I slump against this woman. She’s small, but her strength is addictive. I need so badly to be strong right now. A sob catches in my throat. Her hand pats my back as she whispers assurances. I break away and quickly jump into the backseat with Roux so I don’t do something stupid like cry. Everyone is quiet on the way to the fire station. Hollis keeps glancing at me in the mirror, worry evident in his stare.
I can’t look at him.
I can’t look at either of them.
When I try to see myself through their eyes, I see a weak brother who can’t keep his sister safe. I see all of my insecurities like blinking lights for all to witness. I see the fatigue of a life that’s too fucking tiring for someone only eighteen.
Defeated, I close my eyes and hope I’ll find my way to a bed soon. We pull up to the fire station and park. One of Mike’s friends, Frank, comes out to greet us.
“Everything okay? Do you need medical attention?” Frank asks. When he realizes it’s Roux and me, concern washes over his features. “Roan, what the hell, man? You might need stitches.”
I shrug. “Is April here? She can stitch me up.”
“Everyone’s asleep. I’ll get them up, though. Let’s get inside.” He ushers the four of us into the fire station. The scent of coffee hits my nostrils, making me recoil. I don’t normally dislike the smell of coffee, but at the moment, it makes me nauseous.
He takes us to the living area where there are a couple of sofas before rushing from the room. Hollis paces while Kelsey and Roux sit down. It makes my heart ache to see Kelsey hug Roux like she’s her daughter. Roux deserves so much better than the piece of shit who gave birth to us. I stumble a bit and Hollis pounces on me. He gently guides me down to sit.
“How’s your head?”
“Fine,” I grumble.
He doesn’t release my arm, sitting so close our thighs press together. “You’re not fine, Roan, you have a huge gash on your cheek and can barely stand upright.”
I grumble, but don’t argue. Truth is, I don’t mind his touch. It’s comforting in this moment.
“What in the ever-loving hell?” Mike demands as he charges into the room, still sleepy-eyed, with Frank and April on his heels. April has her kit in hand. She’s a nurse and is married to Frank, so she’s always up at the station with him.
“Good morning to you, too,” I deadpan.
Mike doesn’t seem amused as he plops his big ass down on the coffee table in front of me and puts his fingers under my chin, lifting my head. He touches below my jaw and I wince.
“I have to call this in,” Mike says, frowning.
“Mike!” I bark out, hating the wave of dizziness from this action. “You can’t.”
We both glance over at Roux. He grits his teeth.
“Fine, but you’re not going back,” he throws at me. “Ever again.”
I shrug my shoulders. “I can call Cal or Jordy—”
“Nonsense. I have the garage apartment. It sits empty. You can move in there.”
My heart rate speeds up. “Really? I mean, I can pay. Well, not right this second, but I can get a job and—”
“We’re not worrying about all that when you’ve clearly got a concussion and are bleeding all over the damn place. Let April get you stitched up. We’ll figure the specifics out later.” He clutches my shoulder. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to do more. I always wanted to.”
“I know,” I choke out, hating how fucking emotional I feel right now. This isn’t me. I’m hardened. The boy made of steel. I won’t allow anyone or anything to hurt me or my sister. Right now, I feel every bit as breakable as the porcelain boy beside me.
Mike rises and moves out of the way so April can set to assessing me while Frank hovers, his brows furrowed in concern. I overhear Mike and Kelsey speaking in hushed tones. Roux is already fast asleep with a big blanket on her. Hollis remains at my side. It’s then I realize he’s holding my hand.
Warm.
Comforting.
Secure.
I don’t shake away his hold, simply draw strength from it.
Hollis swipes his thumb over my flesh. I don’t know what to make of it. It’s weird as fuck to hold hands with the kid I hated from the second I saw him. But the hate has evolved. In a few short days, it’s melted into something dangerous and consuming. Something I’ve never experienced. Frankly, it scares the hell out of me. How can someone feel so inexplicitly drawn to another person in such a short time?
I want to hate him, but I can’t.
I don’t like him. That much I’m certain of. Yet, I can’t figure out what it is about him that I crave. Friendship? Affection? His voice? The searing looks he gives me? It goes beyond some lust filled, sexual desire. If it was just sex, guy or not, I would’ve fucked him out of my system much like I did Sidney. This is different. All-consuming. Scary as hell.
I try to pull my hand away, unsure if I’m able
to handle whatever this storm brewing between us is. I don’t know if it’ll end with fists and broken bones or kisses and broken hearts. It’s too intense and cataclysmic to not end in destruction, though. If it’s not hate, it’s something close. Hate destroys and decimates. Whatever this is, it’ll ruin too.
Ruin me.
Ruin him.
Probably ruin everyone in this room.
His fingers thread with mine and I fucking let him. I let the perfect, rich boy hold my hand like I belong to him. April says stuff to me, but I’m not entirely focused. I mumble out words that must calm her because then she begins stitching my cheek. Hollis squeezes my hand, reminding me he’s here with me. My heart throbs hard in my chest.
She finishes and then gives me a stern look when I yawn. “You need to stay awake so we can keep an eye on you.”
“I’m fine,” I grunt.
“You’re not fine.” She frowns. “Stay awake. I’ll grab you some coffee.”
She stands and walks away. Frank follows after her into the kitchen area toward the nauseating smell, talking lowly. I’m so fucking tired. I don’t have a concussion. I just didn’t get enough sleep last night. Bitterness makes my eyes sting.
I fall back against the cushions and my head throbs harder. My eyes must close because I’m shaken awake a second later.
“Roan, man, you can’t,” Hollis says, an apology in his tone. “Sit up.”
“No,” I snap. “Leave me alone.”
“I’m trying to help you.” The concern in his features kills me.
“Why?”
“Because I want to.”
“I’m so tired.” Of this day. Of this life.
“I know.”
“I want to go to sleep and never wake up.”
He swallows. “I know.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
Rather than offer an answer, he pulls me to him. The rat of Hood River, my enemy, hugs me to his chest. Fucking holds me like he can put all the broken pieces back together again. I fist his hoodie in my hand, breathing in his scent. Tears burn at my eyes and then leak of their own accord. I cry silently, overwhelmed with life, and soak Hollis’s hoodie. He doesn’t offer assurances, simply holds me.
Bully Me: Class of 2020 Page 73