by Laura Hawks
Clarissa knew the little girl remark was an attempt to get her riled and it would not work. She remained calm, her breathing controlled as her eyes narrowed in preparation for an attack. She swung her staff, knowing he was expecting her to give a full frontal attack. She had other plans however. At the same time she swung, she dropped her knees and swept his feet out from under him, before she spun to put the end of the staff halted at his throat. “Good enough, old man?”
Mel slammed the staff away with his and rolled over, hitting her legs which sent her to the floor. He flipped up and twirled the staff. “Not by far, sweetheart! That was such a girly move! If that was a demon, you would be dead.” He stepped back and leaned on the staff, “Is that all you’ve got?”
“I doubt it. I would have taken its head off before he realized he was on the ground.” With one wrist, she spun the staff like a whirly gig. Stopping it, she embedded it onto the floor, using the leverage to kick him back, hitting him square in the chest. Dropping back to her feet and before he had a chance to recover, she scissor kicked him. By the time she landed on her feet, he had rebounded and met her attacking staff. The wood clunked as they collided and she looked into his eyes, panting slightly. “Taunting me really won’t work much.”
He parried the stick against hers and held it down while he moved to be nose to nose with her. “Is that not what you should have done when your home was attacked? Maybe if you took a few heads off instead of running like a fucking coward they would be alive today.” Mel shoved her back and twirled the staff. “Maybe we should end this now. Cowardice disgusts me.”
Her breath caught in her throat as his words hit her harder then she believed possible. Pain shot through her heart and she wanted to crumple, before fury took over and all she saw was red, hatred mingled with heartache. She swung the staff out with the speed and agility of her species, quickly. She hit his knees then his side. Her attack kept coming strong, sure but it was not enough. Even though she pushed him back, it was not enough.
She no longer saw him standing before her. She saw only a target for her anguish and despair at everything she lost, at all she would never have and it blinded her. She saw him approach her again, lifting the staff to meet hers and she swung her arm out and used her telekinesis. She pinned him to the wall, three inches off the floor. An invisible force enclosed his neck and squeezed. She swung the staff like a bat and hit him over and over again.
“I am not a coward!” with each sentence came a swing that contacted with his body. “I tried to help. I didn’t know how! I am not a coward!” Finally she collapsed into a heap on the floor, releasing him and let him drop.
Mel gasped for breath as she relinquished the pressure from his neck. He forgot how strong she was as she battered his body giving him a full reminder. Her face contorted as rage bled from every pore. When her fury was spent and she fell on her knees, he breathed hard and swallowed past the soreness in his throat. He moved slowly to where she was on the ground and nudged her over with his foot. Calling on all his reserves to keep his face impassive even though he ached for her sorrow, he looked upon her with no sympathy in his hardened gaze. “That is what will get you killed. Now get up.”
Clarissa snarled at his coldness to her pain. She stood and kneed him in the groin. “You would be dead now, Bastard.”
He grabbed his crotch as she kneed him hard.
“Fuck!”
She pushed his bent over pained body away from her then kicked him hard in the gut to watch him bounce off the wall. “I have killed many and I am still here!” She swished her arm to the side and threw him to the other side of the room, crashing again into the wall.
“You wanted me pissed?” She shimmied her breasts. “Well come and get it you damn asshole.” Again, she flung her arm out using her telekinesis and threw him to the other side of the room. “I am just getting warmed up, you imbecilic asinine, pathetic excuse of a man!”
She went on a rampage and literally tore into his body as her emotions completely took over. He decided he had enough of this and shielded himself from any more of her blows. An invisible wall came up between them and blocked any further attack. It gave him a few seconds to recover before he threw a hand out that blasted her flat on her back and pinned her down. He walked over slowly as the ache in his groin was still very prominent and looked down on her captured, squirming form.
“Stop! Listen!” He held a hand over her. Slowly his fist closed increasing the pressure on her to remain still. “You hit me because I allowed it. Never delude yourself that there are not beings out there that could not kill you with but a thought. Fighting helps you to focus, keep your body honed and keeps away most of your attackers. That is all it does. Your skills lie in the powers that are unique to you. They are what will give you the edge over almost every other being. That will be your survival. Your biggest weakness is your inability to control your rage and concentrate on your powers. You can hide your agony, your shame, your fury as much as you want to. There are some of us out there that can see it no matter how well you keep it hidden. Some of those do not have your best interest at heart and they will use that against you. They can only use it if they see how it affects you and how it lets you lose sight of your gifts.” He sighed, let the pressure drop and held out a hand. “I did not want to do that and I have no malicious intent, yet it was very easy for me to rile you. Can you imagine if it was someone else and they fought back?”
She knocked his hand away. “Do not touch me you horrific beast!”
Clarissa rolled away from him, got up and backed away, her body ached painfully from his throw but she refused to give in to him one iota. “You want to prove I am a fly to you, end it now. You want to use my pain against me, here is your chance. If there is something out there that can kill me with a thought what the hell good is it if I learn to fight better? And my best interest at heart? You are so full of it! You are a stagnant douche bag of green slimy testicle warts! You allowed me to hit you? Gee, how fucking generous of you! My powers are unique to me? Well, let me alert the newspapers on that revelation. Now here is one for you. My powers are mostly passive, Moron! I would have thought you would have realized that by now!”
He dropped his hand and refused to be angry at her. “Very colorful, Clarissa, the purpose of this was to get you to manage your emotions enough to release and control those abilities. Once you achieved that, you would not have to fight beings such as I, you would have the tools to avoid them or annihilate them.” He gave her a small nod. “I thought you were ready, I was mistaken.” Mel walked out the room without so much as a backwards glance.
Furious, Clarissa tilted her head back and screamed in fury. Her telekinesis powers built, causing the weapons to embed into the walls of the room as room shook and shimmied. It made it feel as if an earthquake struck the training facility and reverberated throughout the abode. After several minutes, her power surge faded and she slid to her knees, her face in her hands, exhausted, weak, thoroughly worn out. She felt too feeble to stand much less do anything else.
Mel kept walking down the hall towards the hearth in the main room. He ignored the sounds of destruction that came from the chamber she was in. He knew she needed to vent her anger, hurt and to approach her now would only make matters worse. It was times like these that the judge detested what he was and what he did.
The guardian was an innocent and one of those whom he was honor bound to protect. Her pain was necessary for her growth but it was not pleasant to hear nor was it something he relished putting her through. He sat down in front of the fire, stretched his achingly sore muscles and waited for the tempest to calm.
It seemed like an eternity that she stayed within the destroyed area but she knew from her were-wolf powers it was only thirty minutes. She was extremely abashed. She acted like a two year old throwing a temper tantrum. Slowly, on shaky knees, she climbed to her feet and tried to stop her head from spinning. Grabbing at the wall, she paused to steady herself. She slowly made her way
to that hideously cold, eerie room with the fireplace to find Azamel there.
Not wanting him to know how weak she felt, she hesitated, straightened her outfit, lifted her head high and strode into the room despite her legs desire to fold under her. She figured she was pale but there was nothing she could do about that and thanks to the dancing lights of the fire, maybe it would not be so noticeable. “I guess I own you an apology. I should have not acted so immature.”
Azamel looked up at her. He could not help notice her condition and the pride with which she held herself. He turned back to the blaze within the hearth, quiet for a few moments. “I want you to get the stone back and learn your powers.” He added very softly, “And not hurt inside anymore.”
Clarissa frowned as Mel looked away from her and spoke so quietly. She lowered her head in shame. “I would like all of that too. I know you should not even be bothered with me considering the way I behaved.” She took a softly sighing breath. She backed up slowly as she made her way back towards the room he assigned her.
Mel materialized directly in front of her to prevent her from walking away. “I was a total dick and I am sorry. Your true enemies will not be as considerate and they will kill you.” He could tell she doubted him and he reached forward to grab her shoulders. “Look at me! You can do this! You are stronger than you think! You survived more than many could endure and you are still loyal to your calling. Don’t ever think pain does not cripple us all at one time or other.”
Clarissa gazed up into his blue eyes. “I know every creature suffers heartache of one sort or another. I do my best but as you have shown me it is not enough. I do not know how to put it aside or use it either. I do not understand.”
He kept his hands on her shoulders. “Close your eyes and breathe slowly in and out. Concentrate on regulating your breath. All you hear is the sound of your heartbeat. Now open your eyes while still only hearing your own body. Nothing else matters, no sound, no object, nothing. You have to be quiet inside. When you can achieve that calmness and peace in the midst of any battle, you will succeed.”
“This is kind of like I do for Tai Chi and Ninjutsu. Center myself and call for a calm. This I can do.” She closed her eyes and meditated, listening to her heartbeat as she breathed in and out slowly.
“Good, now see your home. It is burning, they are screaming for you to help, the death blows fall and the blood runs in the streets. They call you! Clarissa, help us! Why? Why are you running? No, don’t leave us.” He saw her waver and her eyes flickered. Mel gripped her shoulder harder and spoke calmly. “Focus!”
A tear slid down her cheek from her closed lids. She tried to breath, to clear her mind, yet she saw her brother Johann, telling her to take his new red Ducati and escape. He wanted her to save herself, while he distracted their attackers. Big brother to the end, he would do everything possible to see her survive. She softly whispered his name, “Johann.”
Briefly Mel closed his eyes against the anguish she felt as it washed through him with their connection. He wished he could take all this away but if she did not deal with it and learn, she would be killed. He lifted one hand and wiped the tear from her cheek. “I know it is hard to do this. Breathe and see it play out as if you were watching a movie. You are not emotionally involved. You are an outsider gazing at the scene.”
His hand against her cheek gave Clarissa clarity somehow, his words gave her direction. Giving a subtle nod, she tried to focus again and worked to leave her heart out of it. She started over again, from the beginning.
Chapter Six
She neared her home as she came in from the fields. The screams and cries easily heard as she approached the building. She paused, not sure if she heard right or for that matter what might be happening. After a moment she turned the bend and saw her little corner of the world being torn asunder by a rival pack of were-wolves. She was astounded. Never in a zillion centuries would she have thought anything like this would have happened, or was happening.
Her first thought was her family, her nieces and nephews, still infants, still pups. She was already close to the house and entered without being seen, without being noticed. The carnage dropped her to her knees and made her violently ill. Trying to recover, she heard a commotion out back and it sounded like her brother Johann. Scrambling to her feet, she dashed out the back door, only to see him and another of her brothers, Ian being attacked by more wolves. She cringed as Ian went down under the onslaught. Johann’s gaze fell on her. He sent a mental message for her to take his bike and run. So their attackers would not see her, Johann ran in the other direction, allowing them to give chase. This was not real. She kept telling herself. This was a nightmare.
Johann swung at the wolves attacking him, trying desperately to keep them occupied so Clarissa could escape. She backed up slowly, wanting to escape this horror. She needed to run, get the bike and get out of there as she was told to do. She knew that Johann would sacrifice himself to make sure she survived and she would not disgrace him by letting herself get caught and therefore killed. She would not let him die in vain because she failed to live.
However, it was too late. One of the wolves smelled her fear on the wind and turned in her direction. Snarling, his fangs dripped with saliva and blood, he charged at her. Clarissa ran, skidded and bolted as fast as her feet would carry her towards her families shed. Located inside was the red Ducati that Johann had recently brought home only a week before. He had taken her for a ride shortly after he purchased it. Johann showed her how to drive his new machine, held her while she tried to maintain balance and encouraged her to keep trying.
As she ran to the motorcycle, she felt the heavy paws of a wolf pouncing on her back, pushing her face to quickly meet the floor of the shed. The wolf’s fangs sank into her shoulder. She felt the sinewy muscles and tissue being torn. Clarissa screamed and kicked, tears overflowing her already dampened cheeks. Her hands reached out as she tried to find anything to dislodge the furry beast off of her. She found a crowbar. Her fingers stretched and tried to roll it towards her for a better grip.
It was just out of reach and kept rolling back slightly, until finally, she was able to grasp it. Getting a good grip on the tool, she twisted at her waist and whacked the wolf in the head with as much strength as she could muster. She repeated hitting him until the intruder’s fangs on her shoulder loosened and slackened.
Squirming out from under him, she quickly scrambled to her feet. Her one side slightly limp from the shoulder bite, blood dripped down her arm. As the wolf staggered toward her she growled as she kicked it hard in the jaw.
Her father had made sure his children knew how to defend themselves and encouraged them to take martial arts. She always thought hunting with him was more fun than practicing kicks and hits but she was never more thankful now that he had insisted she learn.
Once the wolf was back far enough, he took a running leap at her again. This time she caught the beast in the chest with the pointy end of the crowbar. Utilizing the handle of the bar, she flipped the wolf to lie alongside her. The furry beast became unmoving except for a few twitches as he expelled his last breath. She sank to her knees. Clarissa took the life of a living creature. She should be sorry, remorseful and even regretful but she wasn’t. He helped to kill everything she loved, everyone that was her life. They were gone. All of them gone.
She ran to the bike, rolled it out and revved it up. Jumping on the seat, she sped as fast as possible to escape. A few more wolves tried to chase her but could not keep up with the motorcycle. She skirted around those who tried to halt her progress. She kept running and never looked back. She knew she could not afford to. She was blinded mostly by the tears which streamed down her face but she did not stop. She prayed they would not find her, while she also hoped they would so that they would kill her and she would once again be with her family. Her life was destroyed in a matter of minutes.
In the hall, his hands still on her shoulders, Mel could see the pain and sorrow on her face
as she played out scenes she never wanted to think about again. Her body already weak and power drained, his grip pretty much held her up. Slowly, she opened her eyes. They were green and dark with untold agony. “It hurts to remember. I had not fully allowed myself to do so until now.” Her lower lip quivered. “I miss them so much.” Clarissa’s face contorted, she wanted to cry though she tried desperately not to. However, she was too weak, too exhausted to prevent the tears from building, her emerald orbs becoming pools of glistening iridescent green.
Azamel contemplated whether to push her or let her rest for a while. The emotional pressure of what they are doing would take its toll on anyone. Since she had always buried her emotions, this was even more difficult. Forcing someone to deal with something like this was not anything Mel was comfortable with but it had to be done. Her very life depended on it, her sanity. Gazing into her windows to the soul made the decision for him and he pulled her into his arms.
That small action seemed to break a dam inside her and her tears flowed freely, wetting his shirt. Her body shook as sobs tore through her. He kept his arms around her, gently rubbed her back and just letting her get everything out of her system. When at last she started to quiet down, he just held her until she pulled away and looked up at him with teary eyes.
“What happened to your family is a terrible tragedy, one that someone your age should not have been exposed to. It is not your fault. The fact that you survived and they did not is also not your culpability.” He lifted her chin with his finger. “I am very sorry I had to do that in there and my deepest condolences for your loss. I do not like what we have to do in order to get that stone back but you as the guardian will have all kinds of creatures coming at you over the years. The sooner you prepare the better.” He gathered her back in his arms and just embraced her tightly.