“You’re okay…” he murmured, one side of his lips curled in that heart-stopping, melt-a-girl’s-panties kind of way. Luckily, my panties were tightly glued to my behind. And they would stay that way too.
I nodded at him; no voice meant verbal communication was out of the question. Besides, I didn’t trust my words anyways, especially when he looked down at me with that eat-you-up sort of stare.
Seconds later my body lightened as it was lifted by sure, strong arms and hands. And even though I shouldn’t have, I tucked myself tighter into Jack’s chest. It was so warm and cozy, that the thought of being away from it had my insides cringing.
The cool cushion of the stretcher brushed against my sensitized arms and legs. It was all I could do not to pull myself back into his hold.
Like a good little girl, I pressed my head back onto the pillow, staring only up at the dark, night sky. That’s when a thought occurred to me… How in the hell had I made it outside in the first place? Had Jack brought me outside? When? It shouldn’t have mattered…but strangely it did.
The crescent moon shone down on my face, acting as a makeshift flashlight for me. I leaned my head to the side, glancing back as Jack stood studiously next to his uncle. I bit my lip as he waved with one hand; his other was tucked inside his jean pocket. I fought my unknown emotions back, swallowing a moan.
No hero attachments, Emmy. Remember, you don’t like this guy, and he doesn’t care much for you either.
“Well look who finally decided to join the living. You scared us there kiddo,”
I wanted to turn towards the sound of the paramedic’s voice, anything to get my head fitted back into reality, but I couldn’t look away from Jack’s blue eyes. I couldn’t do much more than nod. My lids grew heavy again. Apparently exhaustion trumped my need to see him. Unfortunately, sleep offered other sights and sounds to haunt the darkness. My baby brother cried over me, his wet tears falling on my cheeks, the sound of Jack yelling, the sound of Mr. Martin trying to calm Jack down. The sound of my mother crying and yelling at Jack, fear edged in her voice as she screamed John’s name over and over again.
I gasped and fought to sit up, but failed miserably when the strain in my neck intensified. Oh my God, had that really happened?
“Whoa there girl, I need you to lie back down, and try to relax…” the paramedic pressed down on my shoulders.
I shook my head, “Jaime…” The word was like sand paper on my tongue, heavy, dry. It was amazing the guy understood me at all.
“Your brother…” I nodded faster, trying to ignore the stabbing pain that radiated down my neck. “He’s fine hon. He rode to the hospital with your mom, and I believe the police said that his grandmother would be picking him up from there.”
I blew out a breath, laying my head back down at a slow, snail’s pace. My baby brother was safe in the arms of John’s parents. Luckily, they were nothing like their son. They were the one and only good thing that John had brought into our lives.
As I settled into the back of the ambulance, pulse taken, blood pressure checked, all that needed stuff; I had enough strength left in my neck to lift up my head. I had to find Jack. I had to see him. I had to see the truth in his eyes. Had he saved me? Really and truly? The hatch of the ambulance was opened, and I searched almost desperately for his face. Craning my neck, fighting the pain, and then he was there. And a weight was lifted off of my shoulders as he stood only feet from the back. I smiled. He hadn’t left.
God, why did I care so much whether he was there or not anyways?
His hands were tightly balled at his side. His mouth was set in a grim, unreadable line. The slight twitch of his jaw had me thinking that he might actually be worried about me.
I hated the fact that I felt so safe in in his arms, so protected, cherished even. It made me weak, vulnerable. I’ve always protected myself. I’m my own bodyguard of sorts. And to admit that I liked the way Jack had held me against his body, how he had brushed my hair off my face, how his whispered soft words in my ears temporarily eased my pain.
I pushed down the urges I felt for him, fisting the sheets that covered the stretcher with my hand. I didn’t want to admit that I craved his company, his touch. I’ve never felt this attached to someone so soon in a friendship…if that’s even what you wanted to call it. I’ve always hated when girls have insta-love in the books that I read. It was unreal, and entirely ridiculous! A teeny, tiny part of me liked to admit that I did sort of enjoy playing the damsel in distress back there.
Jack had somehow become my-bend-over-backwards, knight-in-shining-armor…or in his case, black leather. The thought made me giggle, almost hysterically, and the medic raised one eyebrow at me as he stared down at my face. I sighed and ignored his look.
Huh…seriously though, who would have thought that my said knight would ride in on a Harley instead of his white horse.
Chapter Six
“Mom, really? You’re going to bail him out and let him come home, after everything he did to me…to you? H–how could you?” I glared into the empty, soulless eyes of my traitorous mother.
She was sitting at the far end of the hospital room on one of those reclining leather chairs, nervously bouncing her knee as she looked everywhere else, but at me. I never thought I’d see the day where my mother would pick her husband, a complete lunatic and a psychotic attempted murderer, over me, her own daughter.
“You know I have to have him at home Emmy, Jamie needs him.” I blinked. Oh hell, no. She did not say that. The last thing my little brother needed was to be raised by an alcoholic, abusive douche bag.
What in the hell was she suggesting here? I mean seriously, I knew my mom was dense and all, but I never thought of her as a complete moron, at least not until that moment.
Jamie’s face popped into my head as I thought of all the times that he’d fallen or gotten hurt while playing. Whether it was a scraped knee or a stubbed toe, he always ran to me. I was the one he sought comfort from. I was the one he wanted to snuggle with. Not his mom, certainly not his dad either. Jamie was one of the only people in this world that I could truly say I would do anything for. If the step-douche came back, then I couldn’t be that girl for him anymore. Because there was no way on God’s green earth that I’d be able to live in that house with John the monster anymore, especially since the dude tried to kill me.
“I’m pressing charges then. I don’t care what you—” I snapped, biting my lips to fight the tears.
“Listen Emmy, I wasn’t there to see what happened. How am I to know that you didn’t provoke him, threaten him even?”
My heart tripled to an enraged beat. I clenched my hands into fists. Holy mother of God…she couldn’t be saying what I thought she was saying…could she?
I stared into the shallow pitted eyes of the woman I now hated more than anything in this world. Christ… After everything John had done, to both of us, she was still going to stick by his side. Holy. Shit.
I turned away; I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of seeing my tears. Her words were not quite enough to break me completely, but they were close…very, very close. Jesus, when had she fallen so far over the psychotic edge? Too bad for her, I was never going to help her climb back over again.
“Get out…now! I reached for the red call button on the hospital remote thingy. I needed the nurse to get her out of here before I took matters into my own hands. Say…like plastering said remote into her face maybe? Yeah, that sounded like a good enough option to me!
She beat me to the punch, like she had this internal radar strapped to her head. One where she apparently monitored my every movement I made before I made it. Because the next thing I knew, she was reaching for the call thingy-ma-jig herself.
She tossed it over the edge of my rolling table. I tensed, as she moved to stand over me. Who in the hell was this lady standing in front of me? This wasn’t the loving mother who used to play tickle-bug with me when I was sad, or the mother who used to haul me around to swimmi
ng lessons and softball practices every night of the week when I was twelve. No, this was a woman made from evilness–demonic evilness, and I had absolutely no idea what she had done with my real mother.
Brushing her chin length golden hair out of her eyes, she moved to place her mouth next to my ear. Her breath smelled of cigarette smoke, mint, and if the word disgust were to have a smell, it’d be on that list as well. I sucked in a breath, holding it there so I didn’t have to keep inhaling her scent.
“You are an ungrateful bitch, like John said. After everything we’ve done for you too,” she pulled back, shaking her head as if she was disgusted. With me! “I should have kicked you out ages ago.” Her nostrils flared. She straightened her back into a standing position. The only emotion that stood with her was hatred. It was nowhere near as heavy as my own hatred for her though…
I shook my head as she turned to walk away. I pounded my fists into the railings of the bed frame as she shut the door behind her. And I bit my lower lips as two tears fell down my cheek. God, how could she blame this on me? I’m the one who did all the housework. I’m the one that cleaned up her husband’s puke pile from his all night bingers. And I’m the one that tucked her four-year-old son into bed every night.
In that moment, as far as I was concerned, any relationship I once had with the woman was over.
I tried to lie back against the flat pillows stacked under my head, but the strain in my throat was burning so badly that I couldn’t get comfortable. Was I being punished for something? Did I not go to church enough as a kid? Did I cuss too much? Shit, self-doubt really sucked.
I was officially homeless, money less, and now on the fast track to being hopeless and motherless, too. On the positive side, if there actually was a positive side to all of this, I was planning on moving out of the house as soon as I saved enough cash anyway. It looked as though I’d be getting my wish a little bit sooner than I originally thought.
I only wish that I was better prepared…
I picked up the phone to call Kelsey, needing her wise ears and all-knowing words of wisdom, but am stopped short, as it jingled in my hands. The ringtone was unfamiliar, but I answered it anyways. Any kind of distraction was good, even if it was the wrong number.
My voice was strained, achy, and barely a whisper after all the crying I’d done today, but hey, I guess I should’ve been thankful that my esophagus wasn’t completely crushed, right? My glass was always half full, and I planned on keeping it that way.
“Hello?” Dead silence greeted me, and I pulled the phone down in my lap to stare at it. I wasn’t about to waste what little voice I had left on a prank call.
“Um Emmy? Is that you?”
My heart stopped, and for an inkling of a second and I closed my eyes to absorb the sound of that all too familiar voice on the other end. It was Jack. What did he want?
“Emmy baby, is that you?” OMG, he was calling me baby now? What, he saved me like, one time, and now I was all his to pet name and stuff? No. No way!
“What do you want?” I snapped, feigning irritation in my already messed up voice. Okay, yeah, so I’ll admit, that pet name wasn’t so bad. In fact, it kind of left me all super giddy inside.
My stomach flipped, the hair on my arms rose. Yeah, he so didn’t need to know that though…
“Um, Emmy?” he paused, his voice going low, growly even, as he finished his sentence, “its Zachary.”
I slapped a palm over my forehead. Oh my god…Okay, I was so glad I didn’t say Jack’s name. Wow. Maybe my hearing had gotten affected somehow during the whole choking incident.
“Zachary?” I cleared my throat and sat up straighter. This was not a call I expected, “Uh, is that really you?” Oh, shit. Why was he calling me at all? Out of all the moments, he had to choose now…
I threw my arm over my face. Nausea and nervousness ate away at my stomach. Something else was there too…no, it couldn’t have been disappointment…right? It’s not like I really expected Jack to call me…
“Yeah, it’s me Red…Jesus…I really missed you.” Oh for the love of all things holy…he was missing me? This wasn’t happening.
“I miss you too…” I slapped a hand over my mouth.
I should have hung up on him. Or I should have thrown the phone against the wall. I mean, he left me without a simple goodbye, not even a note. I had to find out that he left the next day when I showed up at his house, ready for our planned date. Instead of Zachary at the door, there stood Mrs. Martin, clad in tears and tissues, with excuses that never exactly jived with me. The bottom line was he’d disappeared, out of the blue, the boarding school thing was only a front, I was sure of it.
“Baby, are you okay? I heard what happened. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I’ve failed you now…in so many ways.”
“You haven’t failed me Zachary. You didn’t know! How could you have?” Part of me wanted to yell at him–to tell him that he didn’t protect my heart like he had vowed he always would. So yes, in that way he did kind of fail me.
My heart spoke up though. That blood-beating organ always has a tendency to take over when Zachary was involved. And apparently it was telling me to shut the hell up. It liked when he spoke to me in his sweet talker sort of way. My brain was kind of over it.
“Hey Red, are you still there?”
Pain radiated through my heart, through my throat, both the physical and the emotional kind. My dry, cracked lips began to quiver in sync with each other. I inhaled the stale, hospital air, realizing that I was on the verge of losing it again.
“Yeah…I’m here.”
“You sure?”
“Yup.”
“Huh, well, I uh…”
“What, Zachary?” I snarled, “…spit it out!” I ran my hands impatiently through my unruly hair, root to tips and back again. Over and over like an unending carousal of hair pulling, I was positive I would be bald soon.
It was his turn to talk. I had absolutely no idea of what to say to him anymore. I was confused, I was hurt, and dammit if I wasn’t angry too. Too many emotions battled for control. I was on the verge of a meltdown. One minute he told me he loved me, told me that we’d be the forever kind of couple, and then boom, he leaves, and doesn’t call for like, months on end! I didn’t get it!
A pounding thud sounded through the room. The trembling of my hands increased at the noise, and I dropped the phone. I picked it up of course, but when I looked up to see who had made all-that ruckus, I squeaked, literally squeaked in surprise.
Jack.
“What’s wrong, Emmy? Baby, please tell me! Can I do something? Call someone? Jesus Christ, what the hell can I do?”
I frowned down at the phone. When had Zachary become mister crazed over-reactor anyways? The closer Jack got to me, with all his hooded, droopy eyed broody-ness in full force, the more my vocabulary became extinct.
“I don’t think you should be talking right now, Strawberry,”
I swallowed. It burned, he was right. Why was he here? I blinked… Oh and please don’t let those flowers in his hands be pink daisies!
And shoot…I had those floaty bugs crawling around in the pit of my stomach again. The same floaty bugs that had become inevitable whenever he was near. Have I ever mentioned how much I hated bugs by the way?
My mouth went all desert-like on me and I almost dropped the phone again, as Jack bent over to retrieve the white remote off the floor. His white t-shirt had opened at the top, giving me a glimpse of his fan-freaking-tastic, amazingly, stunning chest and abs. Phew, too much hotness, and not enough descriptions to do him justice. Then when he stood upright, catching me in the act, my face darkened to a red shade that most likely rivaled my hair color. The smirk on his face would have been sexy too…if it wasn’t all-knowing and teasing at the same time.
Dammit all to hell, he needed to turn that delicious body right on outta here before it got devoured by my teeth…
I shook my head in attempt to remove the manic thoughts floating in my
brain. Somewhere along the way, I’d forgotten the simple fact that Zachary was still on the other end of the line. And now, he was practically screaming at me. Was that fear I heard in his voice or was it raging anger instead?
“Goddammit, Emmy! Answer me!” My jaw fell open at the sound of Zachary’s hateful temper. I was stunned, mind blowingly stunned, that he had the ability to sound so cruel, so callous with his words. Not once, in the almost two years that we’d dated, had he ever raised his voice at me, or anyone else for that matter.
“Yeah, I’m here…but now I’m about to go…” No way was he going to talk to me like that. No. Way. In. Hell.
“No, wait. Emmy, I’m sorry. Please don’t hang up on me. I wanted to talk…about everything. I need to know exactly what that John guy did to you, please! It’s killing me that I can’t be there for you…” The desperation in his voice tugged at my heartstrings, but the frown on Jack’s face was pulling at my beating heart a little bit more.
“I’ll call you back tonight, how about that?”
A heavy sigh sounded over the line. He paused, not a single answering response sounded from his end. The only noise I heard was his ragged breath. I clenched the phone tighter and let my chin fall onto my chest.
I was not going to feel guilty over this. Zachary was the one who had left me. If I had to let him go, then that was the way it was going to be. I wasn’t about to feel guilty. I wasn’t doing anything wrong!
“You can’t call me back, Emmy, I’m sorry. I won’t be able to talk to you again until I come home…in a few months.”
Jack narrowed his blue eyes at something on the wall. I blinked, staring at his flexing jaw, his clenched lips that seem to purse even harder every second that Zachary spoke. It was if he could hear whom I was talking to. It kind of freaked me out…
My palms became sweaty and I shifted in my bed. Oh yeah, Zachary was still there wasn’t he? “W–why do you care?” My heart and head went to war with one another. My tortured looking knight paced back and forth in front of me while my angst filled…ex, or whatever he was anymore, finished his sentence.
Resisting Fate (Predetermined) Page 6