“How did you—”
“Don’t ask that.”
“And why not?” I stiffened, pulling away, “There was no possible way that you could have known that my chest and head had issues.” My lips pressed into a tight line. He turned serious as he stared back at me. Wow, could he really experience my pain then? What the hell was next?
“What Jack? What is it! You better God damn tell me before I whip out my silver and stab you in the heart.”
I reached into my pocket to grab absolutely nothing of course, as I pushed him away with my other hand. He fell onto his butt as I stood up. Instead of giving me what I wanted and backing away, he only gave me what I didn’t want by grabbing onto my hands as he stood. He pulled me flush with his front, and I gasped as he pushed my hands against his chest. He was holding them there, like prisoners, as he lowered his cheek to press against mine.
My entire being shuddered at the sudden intimacy of the move. Well fudgeroony, now what in the hell was I going do?
His breath was warm on my face as he spoke. The corner of his mouth curled up against my cheek, as if he was smiling. Most likely he was laughing at me again, “Silver doesn’t kill us Strawberry…” he paused, lowering his hands from mine, to press them against my waist. “People kill us…”
And then I sighed, the touch did it every time. I was a willing victim to his physical influence over me anymore, and I had no choice but to lay my head flat against his chest as he pulled me into a hug.
I held my breath, trying hard not to breathe in his perfect, manly scent. Because if I smelled him, then I’d want to taste him, and I couldn’t have that again right now…
“Emmy,” his voice was soft, as his breath blew against my hair, “let me help you with the pain…” I knew what he was telling me, he wanted to use our so-called mating bond to help me. And for a minute, only a minute, I’d let him, because my ass really did hurt.
His bare chest was warm as it rose and fell in sync with my own. I wasn’t just touching his skin; I was feeling him, inside of me. His warmth, it was intercepting with my own body temperature and it was rising rapidly.
“What’s going on, Jack…I feel—”
“Don’t talk Emmy, keep feeling.”
And I did. By freaking God, did I feel; I felt everything. I felt his heart in my chest. I felt our insides merge, as if he was crawling inside of my body, pressing every last inch of him-self inside of me, but in that completely non-sexual way. My entire being grew limp. I was his slave. I’d do anything to keep him there with me, as long as he promised to always make me feel this alive, on fire.
Then my knees grew weak. And I couldn’t continue to stand, but Jack was there, holding me up, keeping me from falling. He was the balance I needed in the most unbalanced moment of my life. My breathing slowed then, matching his breaths. A sweet sense of peace overtook my soul. Absolute wonder filled me, perfection too, and it all happened at exactly the same time. And like it had done at school today, maybe even more, I became euphoric, absolutely, one hundred percent at ease, and happy.
“Open your eyes, Emmy.” At Jack’s whispered command, I blinked, only to lean back enough to stare into the depths of his glazed over eyes. He had officially healed my aches, my pains, and maybe even my soul.
“Jesus, Jack…what was that?” I whispered back in awe as he brushed a stray piece of hair from my face.
His knuckles grazed my cheek, and he let his hand fall to my neck. He used his free arm to pull me so incredibly close, that I couldn’t have stopped the small kitten-like purr that fell from my mouth if I had tried. I wanted to shut my eyes again, but I was too afraid that if I did, then I’d miss out on this amazingness.
“I’m an idiot…” Jack replied gruffly before finally closing the hated distance between our mouths.
With a sense of ease, faultlessness even, his lips met mine in a slow dance of bliss. Two mouths, hands, inside and out, this kiss was nothing like the kiss we’d shared at school today. It was slow and sensual, and the best part was, Jack was in complete and utter control of it all. His fingertips slipped under my sweater only to dig into my spine. His massively large hands were overpowering, but gentle as he slipped them between the clasp of my bra and my back. He toyed with the edges, running his fingertips over every inch of my bare and covered skin, before bringing them torturously slow towards the front.
I arched my back, pressing into his hands, wanting them on every inch of my body. And I wanted them now, never later. And suddenly Jack became the best listener ever, because he obliged to my unspoken command in a matter of seconds. He slipped my shirt over my shoulders with one hand, breaking apart our mouths for only a moment. Our stares never broke, but our hands did. And there we stood, bare chest to bare chest, hearts rapid, pulses racing, breathing once again uneven. What was next, would he go there? Would I? Did I want to go there? Hell yeah I did, and I wanted it now. I wanted it all. I wanted him and me, together.
You’re perfect, Strawberry…
That is until he spoke in my head…
I yipped and jumped backwards, pressing a hand over my mouth. Oh dear God, please let that not have been his voice in my head.
“What…was that?”
“Shiiiit!” He stumbled backwards, as if he was awakening from a dream, all the while long wiping his mouth across his bare arm. I probably should have been offended, but at that point, all I wanted was my sweater.
I bent over, grabbed it, and slipped on even quicker then he took it off. And with more bravery than I ever thought imaginable, I stepped forward. It was my time for more honesty, at least to a degree. “I’m not sorry that happened, Jack…but I need to know why in the hell I could hear your voice in my head!”
He stared down at me with unease, before frowning completely. “I’m not sorry either, Emmy. But I am terrified…”
“I’m scared too, Jack, but not because I don’t want this, but because I heard you telepathically talking in my freaking head! What was that? What the hell is happening?” My hands waved madly in front of me as I motioned between us.
He went stiff, “It’s called mating, Emmy.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
My hands went up in defense as he moved towards me again. Really though, didn’t I already know this?
I didn’t flinch when he placed his hands on my waist.
“You better start opening up your can of honesty even more here buddy boy, and tell me what the hell else have we’ve done to further this supposed mate thing. I need to know what I’m working with here.”
“Depends, are you going to kiss me again if I do?”
I slapped his shoulder, wondering if he needed to be on some sort of wolf drugs for all his up and down mood swings. “Well, that depends…are you going to tell me the truth this time, or beat around the bush?” I moved back from him, needing space. I crossed my arms over my chest as I did. The frown on his lips proved he didn’t like our connection break either, but he didn’t point it out. Neither had I.
“Alright Em, fine then, it’s our pheromones. Somehow, the mating pair absorbs the stuff into each other’s skin, joining them together. You put them off and I put them off. We touch, the skin heats, and walla, the whole mating process begins.”
“Um, that sounds kind of gross!”
“It kind of is, Strawberry, but it’s also the way of shifters.” He shrugged, putting his hands into his front pockets as he bounced on his heels and toes. “That’s not all the mating stuff entails. In fact, that’s only the beginning. It also has to do with the amount of adrenaline our bodies put off. If there is an equal amount on both sides and if the attraction between the couple is there then somehow the two hearts take on the same beat. That part only lasts for a little while, but it’s equally as important.”
I blinked as I took in his words. Okay, that didn’t sound too terrible. Why, though, did I still feel as if he wasn’t fully being honest with me? “What are you not telling me?” He cringed, seemingly
unable to look me in the eyes without wincing, grimacing, cringing, etc.
“There’s also this sort of this biting thing too. That pretty much seals the deal.”
“Oh, crap, a biting thing, for real?” It was my turn to grimace.
“Yes, a biting thing.” He reached up to scratch at his raised chin, eyes looking at everything around us but me. It was a casual move, but it was a move that left me wondering too nonetheless. “The male bites his female, then its permanent, the real deal mating thing. There will never be another person for either of them.”
His words ran together in my head, and all I could truly concentrate on was his shrug at the end. He peeked down at me from under his black as sin lashes. The bastard, he was pulling his sexy card out and he was using it on me.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, biting, as in, teeth diving into someone else skin? Um no, that’s not okay. Besides that, what’s with the whole his female thing too?”
“Sorry, wrong choice of words for Miss Feminist over here.” He grinned down at me, nudging me in the stomach with an elbow. His blue eyes glowed with mischief and something much steamier too. I wasn’t going to go there. I wasn’t going to go there. Crap. I really wanted to go there, even though I knew I shouldn’t.
“Anyway,” he averted his eyes thankfully, “it’s not that bad I hear, especially when it’s between you and your mate. The female usually likes it, apparently it’s, um, amazing, to both actually.”
Amazing? To be bitten? Was he serious? And then I remembered Zachary, he’d tried to do it twice. “Strawberry, stop, please,” he squeezed the bridge of his nose. “You’ve got to stop thinking of him.”
“He tried to bite me…twice!”
“Yes, I am well aware of that,” he slapped his hands onto his thighs.
“Well, he’s not my mate. You are!” I bit down hard on my lip. Damn, when had I become so blunt?
“I know,” he blew out breath and ran a hand through his hair, “… but he won the alpha challenge, he could bite you and you’d be his, even though you’d always desire me and even if you belonged to him.”
I gritted my teeth and groaned in annoyance. There was that word again belonged. I would never belong to anyone. Ever. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I never let it happen when he tried then huh?”
“Ugh, come on, he loves you…you two are good together!”
I blinked, whoa. Okay, minutes ago he was stripping my clothes off, ready to do me right there on the ground, and now he was ready to hand me over like used goods? I didn’t freaking think so.
“Well jeez, you are wonderful, you know that?” I turned away, and attempted to stomp towards his bike. I’d had enough of his mangy attitude for one day. I’d need a special dose of volume to right my own head after suffering through his constant change of emotions.
“Hey, don’t walk away from me!” he yelled, grabbing my arm, swinging me around to face him.
“It’s –it’s…gonna rain.” I stuttered, struggling to speak.
“What? Are you an old lady suffering from arthritis now or something?”
I glared up at him, anger brewing as I watched him hold back his laughter. This was no laughing matter. “No you dumbass…I felt some drops on my arms. God, your mother must be proud of your ability to be so…cruel…”
I threw a hand over my mouth at my mistaken words. Crap, when had I become such an insensitive bitch?
“Jack I’m—”
“Don’t apologize, Emmy… I don’t want to hear it. Besides, I shouldn’t be such a dick to you anyway. I kind of forget sometimes…”
“Forget what?”
“That you’re sensitive.”
I scoffed, “Am not…” I crossed my arms out in front of me, exhibiting all said sensitive girl emotions in that one, stupid move. Dammit…I was a sensitive wimp, wasn’t I? “I am sorry though,” I dropped my hands in front of my waist, “…let me say it at least. I shouldn’t have said that stuff about your mom. I am not apologizing for being rude about your rudeness though.”
“Alright, that's fair enough.” He cleared his throat as the nervousness in his voice seemed to take over again. I didn’t think I was going to like what I was about to hear. Whenever he went all clear-my-throat-broody on me, the words that followed were never good.
“You’re already bonded with someone anyways.”
“I um…what did you say?” I jutted my chin out as I stared up at him. He cringed.
“Well partially bonded I should say… And it’s with Zachary.”
“Oh God…”
“And now with me too…” I winced.
Um, what was that? “How in the hell did that happen? I mean, I don’t, ah, shit…is Zachary okay?” I backed away and began to pace, rubbing my hand over my forehead to try and process what he told me. “I mean I’ve had this ache in my chest and my head too and I’ve been feeling all sorts of neurotic lately too…”
Had Kelsey hurt him? Did her witch powers mess him up so badly that he was lying in a ditch somewhere, struggling to stay alive?
“Zachary’s fine. He’s probably back at school, training and shit.”
Good. As much as Zachary bothered me anymore, I still didn’t want to see him get hurt.
Jack sauntered up to me again, pulling me into a lose hug. “I know that you love Zachary still, and I know you have feelings for me too. That’s why it’s better if we stay away from each other from now on. You were Zachary’s first, fair and square. I was an idiot to think otherwise. And believe me when I say I tried.”
I stiffened, leaning my head back to look up at his face. “I don’t love him anymore…”
He blinked, staring down at me. I held his stare, unable to move, sucked in completely like always.
“It wasn’t his fault that he had to go train! He had to get his wolf under control, that way he could be with you. Take care of you!”
I groaned, and shook my head. “I don’t need to be taken care of, and I don’t want…him!” I bit my tongue, the words…they were so close to falling out of my mouth, that they’d scared me silent.
“Please…he’s what you need…”
I loosened my tongue; he apparently wasn’t taking the hint. It was time to declare what needed to be declared, even if in the end, the outcome wasn’t what I wanted. “Are you really that stupid Jack? I don’t want Zachary, because I want you! Only you!”
He stared down at me, several emotions played over his face until the one that was most important seemed to click. That’s when he paled and his jaw tensed. I gnawed away at my lower lip. Yep. He got it.
“Emmy…” his voice was desperate, here came the goodbye, I knew it. I braced myself, gripping my hands to my stomach to keep the churning and twisting to a minimum. Damn him, I didn’t want to say goodbye yet.
My heart lurched into my throat at the thought of losing Jack. And not only as a kissing partner, a mate, or whatever the hell we’d become. Mostly, the thought of losing him as a friend terrified me more than anything. He reached down to cup my face with one of his hands. I leaned into it, needing our connection to keep me rooted and prepared for his inevitable rejection.
“The elders already made their decision, Em. And Zachary is smarter, more powerful too. Zachary’s an advocate for the wolves. He’ll make the better alpha, and he’ll be the better mate for you too.” He sounded almost as if he was trying to convince himself, and not just me. I knew what I wanted. There’d be no need to convince me.
“I don’t care about alphas, or pack crap. I care about being seventeen, a senior in high school, and about being with the guy that I’ve come to care about…” maybe even love… I swallowed those words. He’d be totally freaked out if I told him the truth.
He shook his head, his face was so sad that it tore me up from the inside out.
I could finally see it, see what had probably always probably been there in Jack, but was never shown due to the fact that he hid it behind his leather jacket, his motorcycle, and his bad ass wannabe
attitude. Jack Hartman had zero confidence in himself. Why though was that? Was it because of his father’s issues of losing his own mate? Or did something else in the past make him that way?
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. They shook, but only a little. “When I first saw you in the store looking so damn beautiful and flustered in your work overalls, I decided that I couldn’t keep away from you.”
My cheeks heated at his words, remembering that moment myself. I should have realized that the terror that plagued me that day was actually the normal reaction I had from being near him. Hell, I looked forward to that feeling now. Weirdly, it had become like the highlight of my days,
“Then my uncle had to go and remind me of that challenge two years ago, so I’ve been fighting like hell to hold to that promise. Unfortunately, I’ve never been much of a rule follower.”
Sweet Jesus, he wasn’t telling me goodbye after all. Hope blossomed in my chest. I still didn’t fully grab it yet. He wasn’t done. I’d get my chance, I’d have to bide my time for a few more minutes. His eyes heated up and his lips stretched apart showing me that mostly nonexistent dimple. I wanted to tuck my finger in it, maybe use that chocolate I had on reserve for his oh-shit hip lines to stick in there and then lick them off again. Yes, he really was Jack-the-lickable.
”After a lot of thinking, I decided that I’d keep my distance from you as promised. Well, mostly. I couldn’t help some things. Like, I’ve been um, kind of watching you, almost every day and night since I’ve been back in town.”
Um, what? Another stalker? I bit my lip, stopping any and all retorts from slipping from my mouth. I couldn’t fault him for being protective I guess, it was probably instinctual for him and his, uh…wolf. Then I almost laughed because really, he had become my sort of knight, riding in on a black Harley, instead of his white horse.
His voice turned bitter, even suddenly disgusted as he glared at something from behind me. “Things changed when Zachary came to your house yesterday, and I got worried, especially after everything that had happened the other night. So when Kelsey called me–”
Resisting Fate (Predetermined) Page 17