Come To Me (Owned Book 3)

by Gebhard, Mary Catherine

  I listened, trying to see if I could hear her instead.

  “Do you remember me now, cunt?” The asshole’s voice drifted over sounds of cars and people talking. My heart leapt in my chest. Was this how it was going to be? After everything, after fucking dying, I let her fall to the hands of some lowlife with a grudge?

  Letting all the superfluous noises fade away, I narrowed in on his voice. It doesn’t matter how close a person is, if you’re not trained, it can be nearly impossible to pinpoint which direction a sound is coming from. Letting not even my own breathing distract me, I followed the cadence of his rage.

  As soon as I fingered the location of his voice, I ran. Avoiding shoulders, trashcans, everything, I sprinted until I reached them. When I got there I expected to find Lenny crumpled in the corner of the alley. I expected a redo of Dean, of GEM, of our life, basically. Instead I got…

  “Yeah I remember you. Will you finally fuck off now?” Lenny took his head in both arms and brought it up to her knee, quickly knocking him out. He fell to the ground and crumpled. Lenny stood above him, a slight cock to her head, as if studying what she’d just done.

  I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: you can never prepare yourself for Lenny.

  Where the fuck had she learned how to do that?

  In all the mayhem, I hadn’t realized how close I’d gotten. The intense, visceral longing that drove me to protect Lenny had driven me until I was just behind her. I had prepared myself to fling the asshole against the wall. I’d been prepared to string him up and strappado him. When I’d arrived, he was already limp.

  So now I was just behind Lenny. I could smell her. I could practically touch her—

  Ouch. Motherfucker that hurt.

  “Is it asshole night or something?” Lenny yelled as she cocked her elbow into my nose. Surprise hit me first, but then realization: She thinks I want to hurt her. As she readied her foot, I grabbed it, spinning her so she fell off balance. She danced on one leg then summoned all her weight to kick off me.

  We both fell, our bodies flung in opposite directions. She immediately scampered to stand and fight.

  “Lenny!” I pleaded—though, fuck, what she was doing was incredibly arousing.

  Her eyes went wide when she locked in on me. Big and blue, they looked at me like I was a ghost.

  I suppose I was.

  I reached out to touch her cheek, unable to stop myself after weeks of holding back. She scampered back, plastering herself against the brick alley. I couldn’t blame her. If I saw the dead I would freak the fuck out too. Eyes wide, she stared at me. Sighing, I sat back on my ankles.

  Lennox Moore was like a beacon for trouble. Some people are like that, though. Some people shine so bright the world can’t help but want to snuff it out.

  They attract jealousy.

  They attract rage.

  If people can’t own the light, they’ll do everything they can to make it duller. Me, I’m just damn lucky, damn glad I got to stand in it for as long as I did.

  “What the fuck is this?” she eventually asked.

  “It’s me, Lenny.”

  “No it isn’t. I’m hallucinating. I’m seeing things again.” Lenny tried to stand up, but some injury prevented it. She fell and tripped into me. I held her and it was bliss. I’d been imagining her body next to mine for weeks. For the few brief seconds she didn’t fight me, it was ecstasy. Her scent, her feel, all finally back where they belonged: with me.

  The reason for my holding her was of course terrible. She was in pain—again. I quickly recounted our fight, but couldn’t discover a reason for why she would be injured. Had I not arrived soon enough and that asshole had already hurt her? Questions flew through my head like loose pages in a windstorm.

  “Are you hurt?”

  “No.”

  “But your leg?”

  “It’s just a fucking training injury.” Training injury? What the fuck did that mean? I wanted to sit down in the alley, in the dirt, next to the asshole and needles filled with Hep C and learn about everything she’d had to deal with, but I could feel her slipping away.

  “I can’t believe this is happening,” she said, trying to push off me. “I have to get my meds adjusted.”

  “No you don’t, it’s me.” I held her tight. “I’m here.” For that moment, stuck together in the dirty, dark alley, everything came together. It wasn’t perfect, but then nothing between us ever was. It was calm, though, and tranquil. For that moment, we were whole again.

  Then it all snapped and broke as both our heads shot to the side at a loud noise. The asshole she’d kicked to the ground shot up and ran stumbling out of the alley, and the brief respite we’d had went stumbling out with him.

  Lenny shot me a glare. “This is ridiculous. I’m not…” She shook her head. “I’m not going to listen to this. I’m moving on. I’m moving past us. You’re dead. Just stay dead.”

  She moved to follow the asshole, but I panicked. For weeks I’d been watching her, telling myself I would let her go, that I would do whatever needed to be done so she would be happy and safe. For the first time in those weeks, I finally acknowledged the lie.

  Without Lenny I was breathless, I was lifeless, I was soulless. I pulled her back, afraid that if she left the alley I would lose her forever.

  “Get off me!” Lenny screamed, sinking her nails into my forearms. I refused. I wrapped my arms around her, straightjacketing her with my muscles. Holding her, I let her nails forge into me, letting her screams echo around us. I wouldn’t let her go, not any more, never again. I’d let her go too many times in our past. Going forward, never again.

  Eventually she settled down. Breathing heavily, she relaxed into me, nails still dug into my skin.

  “That was you at the bar, wasn’t it?” she whispered. My silence stretched, twisting until it tugged on my gut to answer. Instead, I breathed in the smell of her hair.

  “Wasn’t it, Vic?” she pressed.

  “Yes.”

  She knocked her head against my still pretty fucking sore nose and, in my surprise, I let her go. Spinning around, she faced me, eyes flashing in the dark. “I thought I was going insane! I nearly checked myself into a hospital. I thought I was seeing the ghost of my ex.” She paused, taking her lip between her teeth. I didn’t say anything, didn’t try to defend myself. There were no adequate defenses for how I’d acted. Sure, I had my explanations, but nothing would be good enough.

  I waited for her to speak again and with one hand wiped the blood from my nose. It had been broken more times than I could count, though this was definitely my favorite way. She walked back and forth, muttering to herself, occasionally cursing. My name was uttered a few times, but never at me. “Have you been following me?” she asked, her head darting up.

  “Yes.”

  “For how long?” She rushed to me, her delicate features suddenly right in my face. Where before she had been looking at the ground, now I saw everything: her pain, her confusion, her anger, her resentment—it was all right in my fucking face.

  Now it was my turn to look away. “Since the funeral.” I didn’t look up, but could tell by the volume of her voice that she’d walked away.

  “I’ve felt your presence everywhere. I’ve felt it like the sun on my back. I’ve had to go to the therapist every single goddamn day. She said it would get better, that eventually my grief would fade to sorrow and my sorrow would fade to sadness and eventually…eventually I would let you go, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. I knew I would go mad before that happened.” Lenny took a break, her breathing heavy. “Now I know why, because you were never gone… How could you?”

  “I had to do it. It was the only way to keep you all safe.” It sounded lifeless and worthless, even to me.

  Lenny cocked her head to the side as if weighing the worth of my statement. I knew it was going to come out shit. “We’ve done some pretty fucked up things to each other, but I think this takes the cake.”

  “If I hadn’t
done it you would all be dead.” The words were starting to feel like my religion. And I hated religion.

  “You could have told me!” Lenny yelled, rounding on me. “You could have let me know instead of…instead of…” Her chest started to rise and fall and she sat down. I went to her but she smacked me away.

  “What am I supposed to do now? Pretend you’re dead even though I’ve seen you, heart beating and all?”

  “Well, Grace and Eli know, so that should make—”

  “Grace knows?” Lenny cut me off. “You told Grace before me?”

  “I didn’t tell Grace,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. “She found me. What was I supposed to do, pretend I was the ghost of Marley or some shit?”

  “No,” Lenny said, her voice a dangerously low decibel. “You do not get to talk to me that way. I just found out you have been lying about your death and who the fuck knows what else. I get to be angry. You don’t get to be anything but contrite.”

  I exhaled, running a hand through my hair. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

  Folding her arms, Lennox regarded me. “How the fuck did Grace find you? Aren’t you supposed to be in hiding?”

  “I was in your—her room, watching you sleep.”

  After a few moments, Lennox responded, “That’s a little creepy.”

  I shrugged. “I couldn’t stay away.” I gently tugged her chin to mine. “You’re mine, Lenny. You’ll always be mine.” Her eyes crinkled. Pain, longing, confusion, a mirage of emotions flitted across her face. I wanted—no, I was compelled to erase every negative one.

  I was back now. I could cure her of the pain I’d caused. As I leaned in to capture the lips that had already captured me, I knew my motives went beyond selfless amelioration. Her pouty lower lip beckoned for me. I’d watched Lenny for weeks as if locked in my own personal hell.

  I needed her. She was my lifeblood.

  Lenny backed away, nearly running into a pile of trash. “No! I’m not doing this. I’m not kissing my dead boyfriend in an alley.”

  “I’m not dead,” I reminded her.

  “Semantics,” she hissed. I came up behind her and slowly trailed my fingers down her front, resting my palm just below her belly.

  “I’ve missed this,” I whispered, taking her ear gently between my lips.

  “You’ve missed this?” Lenny spun out, furious, but I held on to her wrist gently. Her eyes were red with unshed tears. “You don’t get to miss this. You’ve been alive and watching me. I’m the one who’s been missing you.”

  “I never thought I’d get to be with you again, Lenny. For all intents and purposes, I was dead.”

  Lenny jerked on her wrist. “Let me go.”

  “Never.” I yanked at her, pulling her back to me. “Do you have any idea what I’ve wanted to do to you?”

  “No, because I’m not a fucking psychic. I can’t commune with the dead.” She jerked her head away, the motion whipping her hair across my face. I tugged her back, snaking my fingers into the red hair I’d been using as a beacon for weeks. It was smooth as silk and thick between my fingers.

  “I’ve dreamt of feeling you against me. Of having you pressed against my body once more. Even if only for a few moments.” Lenny didn’t say a word, but I could feel the blood rushing through her body. As I moved my other hand against the skin of her throat, her heartbeat was a drum against my fingers. She still hid her face from me and her body was coiled tight.

  “Lenny you were my north star. Through all of this, you guided me.”

  She whipped her head back again and I could see the tears undulating on the surface of her lids. “That’s not fair.”

  “It wasn’t meant to be.” I dragged her back across the alley until my back hit the wall.

  “You don’t get to die. You don’t get to disappear and shatter me to pieces and then…and then…” I wiped the stray tear off her cheek. She slapped my hand away and yanked herself free. I pushed her back, rushing until she met the opposite wall. Then I pinned her.

  “I wanted this to be gentle,” I said to her back, then spun her around.

  Lenny laughed. “We aren’t gentle. We’re nuclear. We aren’t roses and lilting music. We’re broken bones and graveyards.”

  “Every day I’ve been gone I’ve thought about you.” Our gazes were pinned but her eyelids were drooping, and despite the fact that her lips were currently ripping me apart, she licked them.

  “Me too.” She glared at me, but I could see beyond that glare to the lust she was trying to hide. “The only difference is I never once dreamed you could come back.”

  “Well, I did.” I crushed my mouth against hers. She fought, but I’d expected that. I pressed her harder against the bricks and parted her leg with my knee.

  I undid my belt and she said, “Since when the fuck do you wear belts?”

  “Since I can fucking do this.” I wrapped the belt around her wrists and then held the leather up, forcing her arms above her head. With my lips on her neck, I made her succumb to me. I ripped the moan out of her body the same way she’d ripped into me. I knew the love she felt for me wasn’t gone, it was simply buried. She’d had to bury my body, and in order to survive, she’d buried our love with it.

  Well, I was back now. I wasn’t going to leave again. I would stay. I would fight to make her feel safe for the rest of our lives. I was going to prove that to her day in and day out, starting right now, in this fucking alley.

  Letting the leather slip between my fingers, I fell to the ground.

  Fuck me.

  She was wearing a skirt. I pushed the material up until it bunched around her hips. Nothing but a small scrap of fabric separated me and her taunting, lovely, fucking maddening, cunt.

  I slid it to the side, exposing her. I blew a slight breath and watched as her skin rose to meet my whispers. She whimpered and her arms, still tied, fell to my shoulder. I gripped her with one arm, keeping her steady, because you could bet what I was about to do would rock her.

  Taking my time, I placed a long, leisurely lick from the bottom of her slit to the top. God, she had the most perfect cunt. It separated as if Moses himself was there, parting to let me taste how ready she was for me.

  I felt like a fucking monk the way I restrained myself in that alley. All I wanted to do was dive into her cunt, suck her in, and make her come until she screamed so loud people ran back thinking she was dying. There would be a death all right, le petit mort as the French called it. She was going to come so hard she joined me in the afterlife.

  What? I’m not a poet, but I’m not a complete cultural dumbass. Anyway, back to Lenny’s cunt, because by the way her legs were clenching, and the way her eyes were fluttering, she needed something bad, and I was the one to give it to her. I placed an open-mouthed kiss, covering her entire pussy.

  “Vic!” she cried, just as I tonguefucked her entrance. I gripped her ass tighter, forcing myself as deep as I could get, and Lenny obliged, wrapping her leg around my back. She was fucking my face in a fucking alley and it was perfect. It wouldn’t be much longer until she was coming—I could tell by the way her nails dug into my neck and the way her cunt quivered around my tongue, as if afraid I would leave. I’d never leave again.

  When Lenny’s body calmed like leaves settling after the first autumn breeze, I placed one final kiss on her cunt. Then I tried to put her thong back in its place, but it was stretched and probably trashed. Lastly, I pulled her skirt back down and stood. Then I crushed her lips against my mouth, making sure to violate and tame her mouth in the exact fashion I had her cunt.

  I pulled back, keeping her lip between my teeth. She blinked, eyelids heavy and eyes blurry. Fuck, I loved the way she looked when she was coming out of it. In a few seconds though, she was gonna look at me like I was the devil. I let go of her arms and…

  “Fuck you!” She slammed her arms into my chest. I definitely deserved it, didn’t mean I wouldn’t go back in time and do it all over again.

  “You taste
just as good as I remember, Lenny,” I said, giving her a lazy grin.

  “You’re just as much of an asshole and you’re never touching me again.” Lenny attempted to brush past me, but I grabbed her by the wrist. She looked down at my hand like it was a slug. I pulled her close to me and reached into her pocket, making sure to go extra slow so she could feel every finger. She shivered, and I smiled again.

  I pulled her phone out and typed in my new digits.

  “This is my new phone number. Call me whenever you need me, only you have the number.”

  “Not even Grace?” she asked skeptically.

  “Not even Grace.”

  She shrugged me off and glared. “You should give it to her.”

  “I’m dead, Lennox. I’m not available for dinner.”

  “You just said you weren’t dead.”

  I shrugged, and repeated what she’d said to me with a wink. “Semantics.”

  Hours later, I could still feel Lennox on my lips. I wasn’t ready to go back to the hotel I’d rented now that GEM and Alice were out of the picture, so I found myself walking through Santa Barbara, feeling instead that I was walking through memories.

  I’d moved to Santa Barbara the month after Alice and I ended, wanting a fresh start. We’d been East Coast and cold, what was fresher than West Coast and warm? Truth was, I ended up doing the same thing just with a beach front view. Nothing between Alice and I changed. My job was the same. I was the same.

  For years I lived with one foot in the grave, then Lennox showed up. She ruined everything, because she made me want to live. She lit me up inside out, and that light spread to every corner of my life. I looked at who I was and started to question it.

  Stepping over a pile of sand, I stared out at the ocean.

  On the days I thought on our beginning, I wondered if I was stupid or cocky. Probably a little bit of both. I’d never imagined I’d meet a girl like Lenny, that I’d be brought to my knees by one person. Up until her, the only person I’d ever shared more than a toothbrush with was Alice. I was naive, which in my business was unheard of. I was unprepared, but if you had tried to tell me that, I would have laughed in your face.