Confusion: (a love story)

  “Good morning Ms. Scott.” He sounds friendly and professional. No even a hint of the judgment I am sure he must have.

  “It’s Isabella. Please.” I decide that if it works for him it should work for me. I give him my friendliest morning smile. “Have a great day!” I step into the elevator and stand straight and proud. I manage to hold the smile as the doors slide closed.

  I’m jogging up my stairs when I’m struck with the feeling that something is off. I slow and look up at my door but it looks like everything is normal. I take the last few steps cautiously, unlock the door, and swing it open wide. When nothing happens I move up to the top step and peak inside. I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. The thought actually crosses my mind to leave but I talk myself out of it. I can’t figure out what I am reacting to.

  “Christopher?” I call into the apartment. But there is no answer and no sound from inside. I decide that I must just be over stimulated from my crazy night and move inside. I decide to leave the door open just in case. I look around as I move through the apartment but I don’t see anything out of place and don’t hear anything suspicious. Given that I am living in an apartment half empty of furniture, it should be easy to spot something out of place amongst the gleaming hardwood floors.

  I hurry into my room and pull a pair of grey slacks and a black blouse from my closet. I pull off Nathan’s clothes and take the world’s fastest shower, barely giving myself time to rinse the conditioner out of my hair. I jump out of the shower and run the towel over my body enough to slide my clothes on.

  I’m just running the brush through my hair when I hear the creak of my floor. I know what the sound means. There is one small spot as you walk between the living room and kitchen that makes the distinct sound every time. I have been woken up by the sound many mornings as Christopher left and returned for his run. I have learned to jump over the spot when I’m coming home from a late game. The sound means that someone is in my apartment.

  I freeze and listen for any other movement and hear none. Finally, I move to my bedroom door and search my living room. Nothing there. I am moving into the kitchen when two shadows appear in my front doorway. I jump and reach for my heart as I feel it stop for a brief second.

  “You guys scared the crap out of me!” I chastise a startled Eric and Nathan.

  “Your door is open.” Nathan replies as they both step inside and look around. “Why is your door open?”

  “When I got home something seemed off.” I shrug. “I figure an open door makes it more likely that someone will hear me and come to help if I scream.” Saying it out loud makes me realize how ridiculous it sounds so I don’t blame either of them for the look that they are giving me.

  Nathan takes a deep breath to steel his patience. “What do you mean that something seemed off?”

  “I don’t know really.” I answer honestly. “I’m sure I’m just tired but something made it seem creepy when I was coming up the stairs. And then I was brushing my hair and I thought I heard someone walking but...” At this point Eric starts to walk through my apartment and check each room. As I turn to watch him I notice something resting on the kitchen table.

  I cross the room and pick up the small heart shaped stone. It is milky white with traces of pinks and blues. Moonstone. My mother used to keep a small moonstone in the glove compartment for safety while traveling. I remember her telling me the story of the moon goddess Selene crying frozen tears after a fight with her lover. My mother called it the stone of new beginnings; bringing love and protection during dark times.

  But why is it here? I swear it wasn’t here when I came in. Nathan is watching mc closely and settles in beside me. He takes the small object from my hand and rubs his fingers across it then looks up at me questioningly.

  “I don’t know. It’s not mine. And I don’t think it was here when I first came in. I think someone has been in my apartment.”

  Nathan and Eric exchange a serious look and then Nathan takes my arm.

  “Where are your keys?” His voice is commanding as point to the kitchen counter. “Eric will take them. I’m taking you to the lab.”

  On the way there I try to make sense of what just happened. Surely it was Christopher. The heart shaped moonstone strikes me as a token of affection, something sweet that someone might do if they were trying to apologize. But he hasn’t seemed interested in apologizing. He hasn't even made contact. And why wouldn’t he give it to me in person?

  But if it wasn’t him, who was it? And were they there all along? And what sort of message is a heart shaped moonstone?

  Nathan accelerates to pass the car in front of us and I turn to look at him. The muscles of his jaw are clenched which only accentuates the strength of his square jaw. His look is distant but determined. He is angry but I can’t tell if it is at me or the situation. Given the icy intensity radiating off of him, I hope it’s the situation. When we reach the parking lot he finally speaks.

  “I’ll let you know when I hear from Eric. In the meantime, stay here. And don’t leave any doors open.”

  I open my mouth to say something sarcastic in response to his bossiness but the look he gives me dissuades me. “Ummm... you’re not coming?”

  “Given your comments this morning I thought you might prefer it if I wait and come in a few minutes after you.” He is right, of course, but his mood makes it feel like a rejection. I tried to prepare myself for this last night, but that was before I knew how amazing he would make me feel, how much my body would crave his touch. I close my eyes to shut out the embarrassment and pain, step out of the car, and walk towards the door without a glance back.

  Around 10:00am James stops by my office and offers me a cup of coffee. He is too much of a gentleman to ask about what happened last night, but I can tell that he is hoping that I will volunteer. He’ll have to wait because for the moment I’m too embarrassed to tell him that I slept with Nathan and now he’s not talking to me.

  For lunch I decide to grab a sandwich from the cart downstairs and hide in my office. My mood has gone steadily downhill with every minute without contact from Nathan. I’m starting to wonder whether I will ever get my keys back.

  By midafternoon I am past embarrassment and have moved on to anger. Part of the problem is that every time I move I am reminded of him. My muscles are sore and tired but in a way that makes me feel relaxed and satiated. With every stretch I am reminded of pleasure. I’m reminded of pleasure that has been taken away in the morning. I’m irritated that he could make me feel that good, and then leave me alone to miss him.

  Finally, at 3:00 he appears in my office and closes the door. He drops my keys on my desk and there are two new keys attached.

  “Eric has changed the locks and added a few extra latches to the windows. You really should have an alarm.” He looks serious and distracted and keeps his eyes on the floor as he paces over into the corner. He turns and leans into the wall and looks up at me as he crosses his arms over his chest. The moment our eyes meet I feel the urge to be close to him, to pull my body against his. He clearly doesn’t feel the same. His body language couldn’t build more distance.

  “Thank you so much for your concern. And please do thank Eric for his time and effort. I’ll pay him back for the new locks. I think it may be a little overzealous though. I’m sure it was only Christopher.” I’m trying to sound dispassionate and polite but I can’t seem to rid the edge of bitterness from my voice. His eyes narrow and I can feel the heat of his attention. Desperate to end the conversation I add, “If that’s all, I have work to do. I’ll find my own ride home.” He pauses, then begins his next sentence with almost a growl.

  “Eric doesn’t believe it was Christopher. I was going to bring it up later, but I think it would be best if you stay with me again tonight.” I feel my heart start to race at the suggestion and I look down to try to think without his confusing image clouding my judgment.

  “I’m not sure that would be best. I probably need to sleep and clear
my head...” I’m afraid to look up to see his response. I think I might be afraid that he will take me at my word.

  “Dinner then. My father is in town to meet with a few people at the engineering school. I was going to have dinner with him and one of his associates. Join us. I promise to have you tucked in early.” The last sentence was lower and more insistent and I feel the vibrations of his voice through my body. I’m furious that he can make me feel so rejected and small but also want him so bad at the same time.

  “I can’t have dinner with your father! I can’t believe you would waste his time with some one night stand. And I don’t understand why you are asking me to dinner when you have been ignoring me all day and are so done with me that you’re practically hiding yourself in the corner.”

  The room is filled with a silence that seems to last forever.

  He stands slowly away from the wall and walks towards me. His movements are fluid but I can see the tightness of his muscles and I suddenly feel like I am watching a seasoned hunter stalking his prey. He sits at the corner of my desk and I concentrate hard on his hands, trying not to lean in to the tension that is throbbing between us.

  “I have been hiding myself in the corner, as you say, because I am afraid that if I touch you I may not be able to stop myself from pushing you onto this desk and making love to you until you scream out my name for the entire lab to hear.” My brain can hear that he is furious but my body only seems to hear passion and I can feel my face betray me with a deepening blush. “You will never refer to yourself as ‘some one night stand’ again and your presence is the furthest thing from a waste of time. For me, my father, or anyone else lucky enough to be there.” As he is talking I can feel him drifting closer to me. He moves his hands and grasps the edge of the desk as if to anchor himself.

  “I will be driving you home so that you can change, but you will be joining me for dinner. We can negotiate the rest after you’ve had some food and are thinking more clearly.” He lifts his hand to my face and uses a single finger to lift my chin. I feel like electricity is surging through that one space of contact and warming my entire body. His look and his voice softens.

  “And I am sorry if I gave you the impression that I was ignoring you. I have been thinking about you every moment of this day. The images of last night keep flashing through my mind. I have never been so distracted. And I have loved every minute.” He leans over and kisses me softly on the lips but before I can deepen it he pulls back. “I’ll be back at 4:30 to walk you out.” And then he is gone.

  James stumbles onto us on the way down the stairs and looks smug at catching us together.

  “Hey Boss! Nathan ditched me for dinner tonight for his family. Any chance you are free?” I can tell he is purposely ignoring the irritated look he is getting from Nathan. I look at Nathan hoping he will see that I have someone to watch out for me and let me out of the dinner with his father. He must know what I am thinking because he shakes his head no.

  “Hmm. I would love to but you’re too late.” I shrug.

  “She’s going to dinner with me.” Nathan adds flatly.

  “Wow! Dinner with the father. Big step.” James throws a curious glance my way. I glance nervously at Nathan.

  “I’ve actually been assured that it’s no big deal. We’re really just joining a business dinner. Very casual.”

  “I see.” He states, but he sounds unconvinced. He makes another note when I stop at Nathan’s car. “Same car?” He smirks and turns to go without waiting for an answer.

  “We’re you a defense attorney or a prosecutor?” I mutter and I can hear him laugh as he walks away.

  Chapter 9

  We are headed to Jesse’s Steakhouse about 15 minutes outside of Hanover so I have a few minutes to worry about what I have gotten myself into.

  “What did you tell your dad about me when you said I was coming?”

  “I didn’t actually talk to my dad. I just told his assistant to add another to the reservation.” Oh great, so his dad didn’t even really agree to this. What is he going to think about Nathan suddenly showing up with a woman?

  “Is it normal for you to bring a date to these types of dinners?”

  “Well, no. My dad can be a little intimidating.”

  “Like father like son.” I mumble under my breath. “Intimidating how? Does he like the women you have introduced him to? Did he like Sarah?” Nathan’s jaw tightens and he gives me a hard look.

  “He tends to make quick decisions about people and my dates have sometimes had a hard time living up to his expectations. Sarah included. In retrospect, I probably should have listened to him on that one.” We pull up the valet and he takes my arm and placed his hand over mine. “Don’t worry; he’s going to love you.”

  “I bet you say that to all of the girls.” I growl as he leads me inside.

  His father is waiting just inside the bar and tells us that we are just waiting for the last member of our party to arrive. There is no mistaking that he is Nathan’s father. He still has a full head of dark hair and he shares Nathan’s deep blue eyes. He is tall, with wide shoulders and has taken very good care of himself physically. It appears the Graham men only get better with age.

  “Dad, this is Isabella Scott. Isabella, Maxwell Graham.”

  “Pleased to meet you Isabella. You work with Nathan?”

  “Yes.” I smile. I can’t resist the opening. “He works for me on one of my grants so I guess that makes me his boss.” I look up at Nathan and try to look innocent. I can tell by the look he is giving me that if his father were not standing right there I would be getting another smack on the ass. I give him a sweet smile.

  “And how is Nathan doing so far?” His father asks, clearly amused.

  “Well, I don’t have to tell you that he is brilliant and very hard working. His passion for the work is inspiring to all of us and I love to hear him think. He also tends to be very persistent in his pursuits. It serves us well in the lab, but I image that it could prove trying at times for those close to him.” I throw another sweet smile in Nathan’s direction. “He must have been wonderful little boy.” His father smiles at me warmly.

  “Oh yes. Both wonderful and trying.” He adds a wink and I can’t help but laugh.

  “I am standing right here you know.” Nathan Growls at the both of us. “Oh never mind. Carry on, I’m going to grab something at the bar.”

  Nathan is gone for a few minutes and I am laughing at the story his father is sharing about Nathan and the family dog when I hear a small voice calling my name from across the restaurant. I turn in time to catch the little girl as she throws her arms around me.

  “Nadia! What are you doing here? I am so happy to see you!” I give her a tight hug and then release her as I hear her uncle calling across the room.

  “Nadia! What are you... Isabella Scott! This must be a beautiful dream!” His booming voice and thick Russian accent fills the bar and everyone turns to look as he slides into an excited proclamation in his native tongue. Eric appears out of nowhere and takes a step closer as the man picks me up in an embrace and spins me once around the room before setting me down again.

  “Grigori!” In protest I give him a hard shove to the shoulder which doesn’t even seem to register on his muscular frame. He is about 6 feet and is built like an ox. I’ve often teased him about being a stereotype of a Russian male. I never admitted to him that it wasn’t exactly true. None of the Russians in the movies are as handsome as he is. “What are you doing here? You are supposed to be in Moscow.”

  “I am visiting my sister.” He shrugs. “What are you doing here? Where is Christopher?” He looks over at Nathan who has appeared at my side.

  “I’m just having dinner with friends. This is Nathan and Maxwell Graham.” I gesture in their direction but notice they don’t make the effort to shake hands. “And this is Grigori Bashmakov.” He nods in their direction as Nathan places his hand on the small of my back.

  “Christopher is nepravil’nyy
.” I throw my hand up hoping to emphasize that he is gone. It’s one of the Russian words I picked up from Grigori when he was a visiting professor. He used it to indicate when he thought that our work was terrible and needed to be thrown out and restarted but I think it means something like ‘wrong’. I use it to distract him so I don’t have to talk about Christopher in front of Nathan’s dad.

  “What!” He throws his hands wide and for a minute I am afraid he is going to grab me again but I think the Nathan’s appearance has deterred him. “I have spies all over this town whose only job was to tell me when you finally came to your senses and sent him away. How do I not know this!”

  “I don’t know.” I laugh, shaking my head. “You must not be paying them enough for their information.”

  “So this means you will come with me to Russia, yes? Now there is nothing standing in your way.” And then he trails off into another bout of Russian. I’m startled when Nathan interrupts him. His comment is in Russian as well so I don’t know what he says, but from the tone of his voice I can tell that it is not friendly. Grigori eyes him coolly.

  “I am sure you know that Isabella is not one to play games.” Grigori turns his attention back to me. “She introduced you as a friend. So she must not be as spoken for as you think.” He grasps my hand and kisses the back before turning to go. “I will be in the shop tomorrow Isabella. Stop by and we will talk.”

  “Ya drug ot Grigori Bashmakov.” I call after him, amused and slightly confused about what just happened.

  He turns and gives me a dazzling smile that goes all the way to his eyes. His glance to Nathan is smug. “Ya drug ot Isabella Scott.” He calls happily as he walks away.

  I turn to Nathan for an explanation of what just happened but his face is impossible to read. He is staring at me like I am some sort of foreign creature that appeared out of nowhere.