Great Apes
Page 43
But however we choose objectively to define humans now – and pace Dr Leakey, there do seem good reasons for a blurring of distinctions – the subjective response to humanity is never unproblematic. One has only to go to London Zoo and observe the humans in their caged enclosures, sitting, not touching one another, their oddly white-pigmented eyes staring out at their chimpanzee visitors with what can only be described as a mixture of sadness and entreaty.
How much worse to imagine the condition of humans kept for experimental purposes in large compounds. The human hates to be entirely unconfined, and in the wild will build quite complex structures in which she can hunch motionless for days at a time. Forced out into the open and unprovided with materials for shelter construction, the human soon falls prey to a form of agoraphobia that induces a condition that might be termed a psychosis. Experimenters say it is important for scientific purposes that humans be kept in such conditions, but why exactly? Surely only to conform to scientifically defined paradigms that have their root in just this hard dividing line between our species?
One final and personal sign concerning this text. In the past my work has been much attacked for its apparent lack of sympathy. Critic after critic has signalled that I treat my protagonists with a diabolic disregard, spraying misfortune and ugliness of character on their fur. In Great Apes I have – purely coincidentally – constructed the only possible riposte to these idiotic objections, the fruit of a chronic misunderstanding of the meaning and purpose of satire – I’ve made my protagonist human!
H’hooooo
W. W. S.
Back in dirty old London, 1997.
Footnotes
1 Throughout this book I have used the term ‘bonobo’ and its variants to refer to chimps of African origin. I appreciate that some bonobos prefer the ascription ‘Afro-American’, or in the case of the British, ‘Afro-Caribbean’, but on the whole ‘bonobo’ still seems – to me – to have the widest application.
2 It is estimated that there are now as few as 200,000 wild humans left. A shocking state of affairs when you consider there were probably several million as recently as fifty years ago.
3 The Chimp Who Mated an Armchair, 1986; Nestings, 1988; and A Primatologist Recounts, 1992. All published by Parallel Press, London and New York.
4 For a full discussion of Alkan’s analytic method see his ‘Implied Techniques in Psychoanalysis’ (British Journal of Ephemera, March 1956).
5 Abstracts are available from the Concept House Archive. Send -£7.99, and allow twenty-one days for delivery.
6 Darwin of course foresaw everything with his remark, ‘If chimp had not been his own classifier, he would never have thought of founding a separate order for his own reception.’
7 ‘Favourite Activities: Washoe loves to be outside. She also likes looking at catalogs (especially swelling-protector catalogs) or books by herself or signing about pictures with allies. Brushing teeth, painting, coffee and tea parties and playing tag through the window are also favourites.’
8 In fact Dr Grebe was showing his true colours here, and would undoubtedly have accepted the contention of John B. Watson, the founder of modern behaviourism: ‘I should like to throw out imagery altogether and attempt to show that practically all natural thought goes on in terms of sensory-motor processes in the fingers and toes. ’ Author’s note.
9 ‘Dreams of Humanity’ (British Journal of Ephemera March 1995).
About the Author
Will Self is the author of many novels and books of non-fiction, including How the Dead Live, which was shortlisted for the Whitbread Novel of the Year 2002, The Butt, winner of the Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize for Comic Fiction 2008, and, with Ralph Steadman, Psychogeography and Psycho Too. He lives in South London.
By the Same Author
The Quantity Theory of Insanity
Cock & Bull
My Idea of Fun
Grey Area
The Sweet Smell of Psychosis
Tough, Tough Toys for Tough, Tough Boys
How the Dead Live
Dorian
Dr Mukti and Other Tales of Woe
The Book of Dave
The Butt
Liver
Walking to Hollywood
NON-FICTION
Junk Mail
Sore Sites
Perfidious Man
Feeding Frenzy
Psychogeography (with Ralph Steadman)
Psycho Too(with Ralph Steadman)
First published in Great Britain 1997
This electronic edition published in 2012 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Copyright © 1997 by Will Self
The moral right of the author has been asserted
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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN: 9781408838495 (e-book)
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