East of the Sun, West of the Moon

by Carole Bellacera

  The icy wind whipped up again, hurling snowflakes into her eyes, relentlessly stinging her exposed cheeks and chin. Would they never get back? She lowered her head against the onslaught of snow and watched her skis as they slid forward, one after the other, on and on, monotonously. Why did she seem to be moving at such a ridiculously slow speed? She glanced up to see Erik far ahead of her, and strived to find her voice to call him to wait up. But she couldn't summon the strength to make a sound. When she looked back down at the ground, she was amazed to find her skis had stopped moving. Try as she might, she couldn't slide forward another inch. Another deep cough rumbled from her sore chest, and her body shuddered. Swirls of gray mist formed in front of her weary eyes, shutting out the reality of the stinging snow.

  "Erik...” she whispered, and crumbled to the white carpeted ground.

  * * * *

  An enveloping warmth encircled her body. She stretched out her legs and wiggled her toes. Her mouth parted in a soft moan. She sensed movement at her side.

  "Kayleigh?” Erik gazed at her, his eyes worried. “How do you feel, kjareste?"

  Bewildered, she focused upon him. “I thought you left me in the woods,” she whispered. Her throat was so dry.

  "I thought you were right behind me,” he said, clutching her hand. “When I called to you and there was no answer, I went back and found you passed out in the snow. What happened?"

  Leigh shook her head. “I don't know. I was so tired ... couldn't go on. I'm thirsty. Can you get me some water?” Gingerly, she sat up. A pulsating pain stabbed through her head. “Oh, shit!"

  Erik returned with the water. “Your head?"

  "It hurts like hell,” she said after greedily swallowing the water. “And I think my throat is getting sore, too."

  "It's a good thing we got back when we did,” Erik said. “Take a look outside."

  "Oh, my God!” Her eyes widened at the sight of the window nearly obscured by thick wet snow. The small cabin was trembling from the force of the wind.

  "I'm going to have to get down to the village sometime this afternoon,” Erik said. “We'll need more food, just in case the storm keeps us holed up here for a while."

  "In this weather?” Leigh exclaimed. “Erik, that's crazy!"

  He shrugged. “Perhaps it will let up soon. Where's your aspirin?"

  "I think I put it in the side pocket of my purse this morning. Just how serious is the food situation?"

  "Not bad yet. But we only bought enough to get us through today.” He rummaged in her purse for the pain reliever. “We have a few cans of soup left and a little cheese. The bread is gone, but I think Mor has some basic staples in the cupboard. I remember seeing a tin of popcorn and plenty of coffee and tea. What's this?” He held out a small white card. “Who is Knut Aabel?"

  "Oh! Just this man I met on the flight in. He was going home to Tromso to spend Christmas with his daughter."

  "I see.” Erik's face was inscrutable. “And he works for the Norwegian Embassy in Washington?"

  "Yeah."

  "And why did he give you his card?"

  "Well, I don't know. We got to talking, and he said maybe we could get together if I ever went back down to Washington.” Although his face was expressionless, Leigh sensed he was livid. “Please, Erik, the Tylenol.” With her fingertips, she massaged her aching temples.

  Silently, he flicked two of the pills onto his palm and dropped them into her hand. She swallowed them with the rest of the water.

  "Why did you take his card? At the time, you didn't know if you would be returning to the states. Or perhaps you never planned to stay here with me..."

  "Get real, Erik!” Leigh cried out. “I bought a round-trip ticket. Even if I had decided to stay here with you, I would've had to go back to tie up the loose ends back home. I never once led you to believe this was a done deal. So what if I took this man's card? I did it to be polite. Get over it! It's history!"

  Erik stared at her broodingly. Suddenly he tore the card into tiny pieces and dropped the fragments to the floor. “Ja. It is history."

  "Why did you do that?” Leigh asked quietly.

  "You won't be needing it, will you? After all, it would be really stupid for you to see another Norwegian. He will only remind you of me."

  "Oh, don't be so conceited! It's not up to you to decide who I'll see. You had no right to tear that card up."

  "But it's done,” he said matter-of-factly. “I can't bear the thought of you with someone else, especially a fellow countryman."

  "Tearing up a card isn't going to stop me from dating other men, Erik. I'm sure it would be easy enough to look him up through the Norwegian Embassy. And I just might do that. Once I leave here, I'll be starting a new life.” She closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. “You surely don't expect me to sit around in a lonely apartment and pine over you for the rest of my life. I'm hurting as badly as you are, but there's a difference between us. I'm facing reality, and you're not.” She opened her eyes and gazed at him. Her vision was blurred from the pain. “Erik, don't you realize, we never had a chance for a life together. I always knew that, but I listened to my heart instead of my head."

  "You listened to your heart?” Erik said. “Or was it your pussy that was talking to you?"

  Leigh slid down into the bed and rolled away from him. “Go to hell,” she said wearily, closing her eyes.

  A few minutes later, the door slammed and she knew she was alone in the cabin. She must have slept a long time, for when she awakened, it had grown dark. Although she saw that the fire burned briskly in the grate, her teeth chattered and her entire body trembled with cold. Stark terror washed over her. Had Erik left her here alone? It was too quiet; only the sound of the moaning wind broke the stillness.

  "Erik?” she called out. But the wind was the only answer, howling mournfully through the firs. She sat up, her eyes searching the room for his familiar presence. Another cough rumbled up from her lungs, sending knife-like stabs of pain through her chest wall.

  The front door opened and an icy draft of wind and snow blew into the room as Erik entered, carrying an armful of wood. His down parka and bright red plaid hat were caked with snow.

  Tears of relief sprang to her eyes at the sight of him. “Oh, Erik, I thought you left me."

  He stomped the snow from his boots and took off his coat. “I tried to take the car down to the village, but it won't start. Too cold, I guess.” He flung his hat onto the table and ran his fingers through his tousled hair. “Tomorrow, I'll try to ski down.” He approached the bed, his eyes solemn. “Kjareste, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. It was unbelievably crude.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “I've been thinking about what you said. And you're right, of course. I haven't been taking this whole thing very well. I'm not used to losing, and I haven't been a good sport about it."

  A tear rolled down Leigh's face. “It hurts me, too. I don't want to leave you, Erik. But I don't have any choice. Can't you understand that?"

  "I'm trying...” His hand reached out to brush away her tears. “Fordamme! You're on fire!” He felt her forehead. “I had no idea you were so ill. I'll get you some water."

  "No, Erik. Don't leave. I'm so cold.” Her arms reached out to him. “Just hold me."

  Quickly, he slipped out of his clothes and crawled into bed. With a soft shuddering sigh, Leigh nestled against him, drawing the heat from his skin like a thirsty animal lapping fresh spring water. Moments later, safe in his loving arms, she sank into a deep dreamless sleep.

  Chapter 18

  Through a layer of white cottony fog, Leigh heard Erik's voice. She struggled to open her eyes and focus on him. Gradually, the mist cleared and she saw him staring down at her, his blue eyes concerned and his hands clutching hers tightly. She wanted to reassure him that she was okay, but couldn't summon the energy to speak.

  "I'm leaving for the village now, Kayleigh. Do you understand?"

  His voice came through clearly. She felt a s
udden panic, but still couldn't find her voice to beg him to stay. His hand tightened upon hers for a moment, and his face drew away. A moment later, the fog closed around her again, drawing her back into the mists of unconsciousness.

  * * * *

  They were out in the woods. Leigh wore only her light satin nightgown from Saks. She shivered in the frigid air. The icy wind whipped around them as the snow fell in huge, quarter-sized flakes, landing with noisy, wet plops on the covered ground.

  "Erik, I'm so cold!” Leigh reached out to him. “Please, can't you give me something to wear?"

  He stood before her, dressed in bulky ski wear, mirrored goggles covering his eyes. He smiled, his teeth white and straight against the golden tan of his face.

  "Of course.” He tossed her the blue fox jacket he'd bought in Oslo.

  She slipped into it, but it did nothing to protect her from the cold.

  "Now, I must go.” Erik turned on his skis and moved away. “There's no use in trying to follow me. You could never keep up without skis. And if you don't know this forest, you could walk in circles for months before finding your way out.” Then he laughed. “But no need to worry. The wolves will find you long before that."

  "Erik!” she screamed at his retreating back. “Don't leave me here!"

  But he kept going. Leigh sank to the snow-covered ground in tears. Just when she'd given up hope, Erik turned and skied back to her. He pulled her to her feet, his face expressionless.

  "I knew you couldn't leave me here,” she sobbed.

  "You were right,” he said quietly. “I couldn't do that to you. Come."

  "Are we going back to the cabin?"

  "Not yet.” He smiled. “I want you to see something very beautiful."

  They stood on the cliff overlooking Reiardsfossen. The view was as magnificent as before, but Leigh didn't want to be there. She was cold. She wanted to return to the cabin.

  "Let's go back, Erik,” she pleaded. “I'm freezing."

  "Give me your ring.” He held out his hand as he gazed out over the waterfall. “The one I gave you in Ose the other night."

  She twisted it off and dropped it into his outstretched palm.

  "You see, the other way was too slow.” He hurled the ring into the abyss. “Please try and understand I can't let you go.” He grabbed her shoulders and his mouth clamped down on hers, his tongue searching.

  As always, she responded to his electric kiss, her mouth becoming soft and pliant under his. But then, she realized something was wrong. The pressure of his body was forcing her backward. Her footing became unstable. Erik ripped himself away from her and pushed her hard.

  The blood drained from her face as she felt the ground crumble beneath her feet. Desperately, she lunged at him, but it was too late. Her clawing hands grasped at the brittle rock at the cliff edge and for a moment, she hung there suspended in a void between life and death, her frantic eyes staring in shock at Erik's impassive face. Suddenly the rock gave way beneath her desperate fingers.

  "Eeerrriiikkk!” she screamed, hurtling toward the violent cauldron of water below.

  * * * *

  "Erik!” Leigh bolted up and found herself in the sofa bed at the cottage.

  Tears streamed down her flushed face as her eyes darted wildly around the empty room. She couldn't stop shivering. When she saw the dark fireplace, she realized why. Where was Erik? Then she remembered the nightmare. It had been so real, so frightening. Where had he gone and why was the fire out?

  Her arm felt as if it were weighted with iron bracelets as she threw back the covers. She managed to drag herself up, and for a moment, she sat on the edge of the bed, summoning the strength to stand. There was something different in the room. Her eyes fastened on the snow-caked window where a feeble sun cast a soft glow through the gloom. The blizzard had finally blown itself out. Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember what Erik had said before he'd left. It was so vague in her mind. Something about going for help?

  Trembling, she stood up and moved like an old woman toward the fireplace. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a few burning embers in the bottom of the grate. After prodding the fire back to life and adding more wood, it began to burn brightly. As she turned to go back to bed, a wave of dizziness washed over her. She stood still a moment to wait for it to pass. When her vision cleared, she saw the white scraps of paper on the floor.

  Knut Aabel's business card. The one Erik had ripped in a fit of anger. Leigh climbed into bed, still shivering. She remembered the ruthless expression on his face as he'd destroyed the card. Rarely had she seen that side of him ... except lately in the ominous nightmares she'd been having. The one at Reiardsfossen had been especially vivid.

  How long had he been gone? She was sure he'd gone to Ose for help. When had he told her that? Hours ago, it seemed. Or had that been a dream? She was so confused. The coughing began again. With every heave of her diaphragm, the pain in her chest worsened, stabbing through her lungs and bringing tears to her eyes.

  Oh, Erik, where are you?

  On the table nearby, she saw the half-empty cup of doctored tea she'd been drinking earlier. Between wracking coughs, she gulped it down, hoping it would work fast. The pain was becoming unbearable.

  Twenty minutes later, the cough still hadn't eased. In a near panic, she sat up, wondering what she could do. If she could make it to the kitchen nook, she could drink some water; maybe it would ease the burning sensation in her throat and lungs. Again, she managed to get out of bed. Moving as if walking in thigh-deep water, Leigh finally reached the kitchen area and threw her weight against the counter near the stove. A loud crash jerked her to awareness. She'd knocked over a bottle of aquavit.

  Aquavit. She stared at the bottle. The booze would probably work better than water. After all, Erik had admitted his mother's medicinal tea was half-aquavit. Without hesitation, she unscrewed the cap and brought the bottle to her lips. The liquid fire burned down her scratchy throat and hit her empty stomach like an explosion. She gasped, struggling to catch her breath and then leaned weakly against the counter. She'd forgotten what a kick the Norwegian liquor had. But already, she felt a calmness stealing into her chest, suppressing the vicious cough. With the aquavit bottle in hand, she stumbled back to the bed and fell into it gratefully.

  Maybe if she could fall asleep again, Erik would be here when she woke up. And hopefully, he'd have a doctor with him. She took another swig of aquavit. It went down easier than before. Leigh collapsed flat onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was unnervingly quiet. No wind, no noise anywhere. Only the monotonous ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner. How much time had passed since Erik left her?

  Apprehension swept over her as she realized just how alone she was. What if something had happened to Erik as he made his way down the mountain? Suppose he'd had a skiing accident? Did anyone know she was here alone in the cabin? Would the innkeeper remember she'd been with Erik that night in Ose? Or had he even noticed her? But deep inside, Leigh knew the truth.

  Only Erik knew she was here.

  * * * *

  It was an exhausting effort just to get dressed, but finally she tugged on her boots and stood shakily. Shivering in spite of the thermal underwear, a bulky sweater and her parka, she glanced around the room, wondering if she should take anything, but her mind refused to cooperate. All she could think about was getting out of this isolated cabin ... finding Erik, or someone.

  Pausing at the door of the cabin, she took a long tremulous breath before struggling to get the heavy skis through the doorway. Just as she was about to close the door behind her, a mournful howl echoed from the forest. Leigh froze. She'd forgotten about the wolves. Indecision plagued her. Would it be safer to go or stay? Then she remembered the rifle hanging on the wall in the cabin. A vague memory of her father teaching her to shoot fluttered through her mind. Could she do it now if she had to?

  The rifle was already loaded, and although it was a heavy burden, Leigh decided to take i
t. The thought of those slinking carnivores filled her with terror. At least with the rifle, she felt somewhat protected.

  Outside, the cold air wrapped around her body like an icy glove as she stepped into the skis. A phlegmy cough rumbled up from her chest and she spat a glob of yellowish-green sputum into the snow. Her head still throbbed, but fortunately, it didn't seem as intense as before.

  "I just might make it,” Leigh muttered as she turned in the direction Erik had taken two days before. If she could get to Reiardsfossen, she was sure she could find her way into the valley below. She worried about crossing the river, but she'd deal with that when she got to it. Maybe she'd be lucky and it would be frozen. Right now, her biggest concern would be finding her way to Reiardsfossen. In the deep forest, it would be easy to become confused and lose all sense of direction. Hadn't Erik said the other day that even experts get lost sometimes in Norway's great forests?

  Damn Erik anyway! He was probably relaxing in front of a fire right now, sipping a cup of hot coffee. Or maybe he was on a rail express speeding back to Oslo to be with Gunny and Margit.

  Only a few minutes had passed, and already, she could feel her strength ebbing. Pausing, she leaned on her ski poles, trying to calm her racing heart. The trees appeared thicker than she remembered, thrusting their great trunks up toward the afternoon sky, their branches laden with meringued dollops of snow. It was strangely silent now that the wind had died. With the back of her gloved hand, Leigh wiped the beaded drops of perspiration from her brow and looked up at the path in front of her. Her torturous gulps for air were magnified in the stillness. She wasn't sure she'd be able to go on. But what choice did she have? If she stayed, she'd freeze to death.