This was the most perfect minute of her life, and it would always stay that way.
As Ewan twirled her around, Iris felt like a true lady, more than she ever had done before which was ironic considering the maid’s uniform that she had on. She had never looked less special, yet she had never felt more that way. This was so much better than any princess dream could ever be.
If only there could be more to it.
She couldn't resist imagining what it would be like to kiss him. She would not, of course, that would be one step too far, but she liked to think about it all the same. She pictured herself pushing herself up onto her tiptoes and bravely pressing her lips up against his. He would be stunned for a moment, he would not know how to react, but eventually, he would find himself unable to hold back any longer. He would wrap his hands around her neck and knot them up into her hair. He would lose himself in the passion, and so would she...
The whole idea left her utterly breathless.
Ewan smiled so serenely at her, it was as if he could see into her mind and he liked the idea just as much for himself. He squeezed her hip, just for a second, and Iris imagined there was a promise in that gesture.
A promise that could never come true unless she revealed her true self... and maybe not even then.
“Shhh.” Ewan’s expression suddenly turned to one of panic. Iris could almost feel the magic bubble that they’d been dancing in pop and burst around her. “Footsteps.”
Yes, Iris could hear them too. The clip, clip, clip of someone moving towards them at the speed of light. She wanted to grip onto Ewan, to refuse to move and give up the perfect moment because she knew the second they let go, it would be gone forever, but it did not matter. Ewan had already released her, and he had dived to the other side of the hallway as if he had been electrocuted.
It appeared that his desire to ‘break the rules’ only went so far.
She gave him a pleading, desperate look which he returned. Iris could tell that Ewan wanted to communicate a million things with her through his eyes, but he couldn’t. It was an impossible situation.
“Ah, Ir... Daisy!” Daisy caught herself at the last moment as she saw that her friend was not alone. There was a strange electrical tension to the air, which she instantly put down to her silly faux pas, so she decided to talk at a million miles an hour in an attempt to cover up the mistake. “It is good to see you again, I require your... your help with something. May I have your attention for the moment?
Daisy glanced towards the very handsome man, suddenly feeling out of her depth. Should she introduce herself? Was it right for her to make herself known despite the fact that they were almost alone, or would another silly high-born rule dictate that was somehow wrong?
She had already made enough mistakes tonight. The last thing she wanted to do was add to that.
“Thank you, Miss.” Ewan faced only Iris and he gave her a nod of the head. “I really appreciate you indicating the way out to me. “
"Y... yes," Iris panted and she curtsied. "Anytime."
As soon as he turned the corner, Daisy burst into near hysterical giggles. “Who was that?” she enquired without much thought. “He seems a bit of a bore.”
“Oh... I do not know.”
Daisy felt her shoulders hunching up. Iris appeared to be hiding something from her. Had that man said something to her to make her uncomfortable? Daisy wanted to charge after him, to demand answers, but she knew it would upset Iris.
Also, she had more important things to sort tonight. They had the very challenging conversation of what to do tomorrow to discuss. It should have been easy, the Duke should want nothing more to do with Iris Warwick, but Daisy had failed. She felt terrible for that, but she did not wish to dwell.
If anything, Daisy was a very practical person, and she knew that the only way to resolve things was to take action. Now they just needed to decide what that meant.
“Your uncle is ending the evening now.” She smiled at Iris and linked her arm through hers. She needed to keep breezy and casual for now, to prevent Iris from falling apart in public. In private, she could resolve it, out here she had no hope. “Shall we go to my bedroom, there is much we need to discuss.”
My bedroom? Iris wanted to ask, but she didn't. She was far too stunned to disagree with such petty points tonight. Ewan had left a lasting impression on her. To be honest, all she wanted to do was be alone with the feelings, but of course, Daisy had a point.
They really needed to talk.
“Yes, of course, we must go now.” Iris shook her head, trying to get her head away from Ewan and into the present moment – at least for the time being. “We do have a lot to talk about.”
The only question was how did they get a solution that suited them both?
Chapter 14
Daisy clicked the door shut behind her, suddenly feeling terribly panicked. She had spent some time in the bathroom, planning how she was going to say all of this to Iris, but now her brain felt empty of words. All of the ways she had wanted to put this deserted her, she had no idea how to make it right.
There was no way to say all of this.
“You enjoyed the ball?” Iris asked her with a twinge of coldness in her voice. “You had a lovely time with the Duke, so I hear?”
Uh oh. Judging by the unimpressed look on Iris’s face, this was not the news that she wanted to hear. Daisy’s heart pounded violently against her rib cage and hot blood ran through her veins. She had done her friend wrong, and now she would have to pay the consequences of that.
“I would like to discuss it properly with you,” she tried in a shaky voice. “I think that maybe things have been misconstrued.”
“Did Duke Pembroke call off the wedding?” Iris folded her arms defiantly across her chest. She did not want to be so sharp with her friend, but she felt utterly hopeless. About everything. Daisy did not know it, but the sting left behind from losing Ewan hurt her badly and affected her temper. “Did we achieve what we wanted to?”
“No, not exactly...”
“Then I am ruined!” Iris’s eyes filled with frustrated tears. Her insides burned painfully. “I will now have to marry a man that I do not want, and he does not even know me. He thinks that I am you.” She got the sense that she was wailing, yet she could not stop. “What shall I do now?”
She wanted it to be Ewan, he was the one that she wanted. But she would never be offered that chance now, Daisy had made an utter mess of everything.
“I do have a possible solution.” Daisy tried to tread carefully. She knew that this decision would not go down well, but right now it was all that girls had. Somehow, she needed to make Iris listen. “If you will just hear me out.”
"I do not see why I should listen to you when you have ruined everything."
All of a sudden, Iris felt like a deflated balloon. All of the energy and the red hot anger that had been bursting out of her like a monster simply disappeared, and she was left like an empty husk. It did not really matter what Daisy had done, she was the only one who’s helped her. There was no point in having a tantrum now, it wouldn’t get her anywhere.
Iris took her place on the bed and glanced expectantly up at Daisy. “Fine, I will listen to you, please explain your plan.”
Daisy sat down opposite Iris and she clasped her hands in her lap. There she fiddled anxiously with them as she talked. "I know that I have done you wrong, and I am very sorry for that, it was unintentional. I simply got swept up in the romance of the ball and the dream of being a lady."
“Why on Earth would you want to be a lady?” Iris still could not hold in her hatred for the life that she’d been born into. “It is a terribly stilted life. Why would you want to be that?”
“For the same reason that you do not,” Daisy replied softly. “The life I have is not working for me.”
Iris fell into silence. She did not know how to answer that. She knew that she would be a hypocrite if she asked too many questions into this, so she chose the most
important one.
“You have not been happy?”
“With you, yes!” Daisy nodded frantically. “My time with you has been wonderful, the best of my whole life.” She gave Iris a sincere look, hoping that she would see just how serious she was about this. “I have adored being your maid, and your friend, but whatever happens next, everything will change tomorrow. One way or another, you will leave this house and I do not think I will be able to stand it without you.”
“Or I, you.”
Emotions flew at Iris from every single angle. She had been so wrapped up in avoiding her fate that she had all but forgotten that soon enough she would lose her friend too. She choked back some tears because she didn’t feel like she deserved them now.
"I would like more from my life." Daisy leant in closer to Iris now that she had her undivided attention. "I would like to be a lady. I know it is not possible for someone born in my class, but it is what I would adore. I love all the things you do not like; the money, the events, the society... yes, some of the rules are confusing, but I feel like I could learn them. Maybe even embrace them."
Daisy’s eyes shone as she spoke, there was something very real to this. Iris was not sure what to make of it all, it seemed that the switch had made her realise a dream that she did not even know that she had.
Iris’s heart yearned to reach out to her friend, she wanted to embrace her, to comfort her, but the timing was not right. She still wasn’t sure what Daisy had to tell her.
“So, what are you saying?” Iris still needed to ask this question, she felt like there was still a lot that she was missing out on. “Do you have a plan?”
Daisy slipped her hands into Iris’s and she pleaded with her gaze. This sentence would be very difficult to say, but there was a big chance that it would set them both free.
“I would like to marry the Duke,” she enquired quietly.
“But... you cannot. He wants to marry me for my name and dowry, I do not see him turning his attention to a maid.”
Maybe that was a little harsh, but Iris needed Daisy to see sense. The idea was utter madness.
“He thinks that I am you.”
The penny dropped, it hit the ground hard with a thump. Daisy wanted to make the switch permanent, she wanted to become Iris Warwick, eventually Mrs. Pembroke, she wanted to become a lady through her. That way, she would have the name and the dowry... everything that the Duke needed to wed her.
“But he is a horrible man.” Much as the idea was tantalizing, Iris could not allow Daisy to go into the situation without her eyes wide open. “Please, remember what Elizabeth told me.”
“Yes, he is gruff, and maybe a little unkind.” Daisy shrugged as if this did not bother her. “I understand well why people might not like him, he is not an amiable man.”
"So, why would you want to be his wife?" Iris asked incredulously. "You wish to have a lifetime of misery with him?"
“But I will not be miserable.” Daisy’s face broke out into a wild grin. The idea of being a lady was much too wonderful for her, none of the other stuff mattered one bit. “I will be a lady with money and parties to attend. I will only need to be near the Duke for long enough to give him an heir, he will not be a problem for me. I will be pleasant enough for the both of us, so his moods will not matter one bit.”
“But... what about love?” Iris asked, sounding much younger than her years. “Do you not want a husband that you adore?”
Daisy didn’t want to tease Iris for seeing the world this way, the girl was a dreamer, but Daisy had been hardened to life. She felt like she knew so much better.
“Iris, love is for some. There are people in this world who will go on to have the greatest love stories of all time. I am not one of those people. This is what I want, not love. I want a life worth living, and this is the closest that I will ever get. The Duke can offer me a life that people in my position can only dream of.”
Just because Iris did not share her opinion, she could not ignore her friend’s passion. Maybe this was what she wanted, and Iris was the only one who could give it to her. She owed her friend that much, after everything she had done for her, didn’t she?
“I know it is not for you,” Daisy continued, sensing that she was starting to get through. “But I feel like a bird whose wings have been tied down. I need to spread them wide, to fly.”
Iris’s mind instantly went to the painting that hung above her father’s office. The bird, soaring above the world with all the freedom it could possibly want. She understood that, it was a sentiment that she needed to experience herself.
And honestly, this was the only way that they could come out of this with her reputation still intact... although it would no longer be her reputation anymore. It would be Daisy’s. She would become Iris Warwick with all the expectations hanging off of her.
Iris could not see how that would make Daisy feel free, but it was not up to her to judge. Losing all of that would certainly make Iris feel free.
But still...
“What will become of me?” She suddenly realized that would be an issue. “Where will I go?”
“I will make sure that you have money,” Daisy answered excitedly, proving that she had already considered this. “It is your inheritance after all, and I do not believe that the Duke needs it. Not all of it. If you would like to continue working in the way that you are, I can get you a job in another home. The one that my cousin, Victoria, works in. She is very happy there.”
Playing at being a maid for a short time was one thing, but doing it permanently was a massive commitment that she was not sure she could make.
“Who’s home is it? Will it be very far?”
“I spoke to her about tonight two days ago, she said that her master would be attending the event at this house tonight, so it must be within the area.” Daisy did not want to come so far just for the opportunity to go away. Now that she’d realized how much she needed it, the fiery obsession to get it burned brightly within her. “You would only need to try it, if it does not suit then I will find you work somewhere else. I will never let you be unhappy, Iris.”
Iris supposed that she had to start somewhere if she was really going to give up her life. Much as she’d always wanted to sacrifice her title, her inheritance, her name, could she actually do it in reality?
Then again, she had never got on well with people who shared her background. Even before she retired to her room for six years, she always felt like an outsider looking in. She had the right look and some of the grace, but it always felt like an acting part that she had to play. In her room, with Daisy, and downstairs, with the other staff, she felt like she could be herself.
There was a sense that she fit in, which was all she ever wanted.
Iris weighed up the pros and cons in her mind before she answered, and Daisy sat back to let her debate. She knew that if she pushed her too hard, Iris would snap and that would have the opposite effect. In her mind, she begged like crazy, but outwardly she remained cool, calm, and collected.
“Yes,” Iris eventually whispered. She wanted to make her friend happy, and she also needed to escape being her. Just because the thought was terrifying, didn’t mean it wasn’t the right one to make. “Yes, alright, I shall do it.”
“Oh, thank you!” Daisy jumped up and she embraced Iris wholly. She had no idea what she had just given her. Neither of the girls expected the switch to go this far, but now that it had it felt good. They both could be free of themselves and the lives that made them unhappy. “I shall make contact with Victoria tomorrow, and set up the arrangements. I know it feels like it is happening too quickly, but we need to get started before Olivia arrives.”
Iris’s head spun, she had no idea what to think anymore but that much was correct. She needed to get out of the house that had kept her safe and warm for the past six years before her sister came... and also before she managed to talk herself out of it. Maybe if she could stay in her home, she would shut this down immediately, but that
was out of the question. She had to go somewhere, it might as well be somewhere that she could be happy. Maybe.
“I think I need to sleep now,” she gasped as she moved away from Daisy. “We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”
“Oh yes, of course, goodnight.” Daisy barely listened, she was lost in her own dream world, imagining how wonderful her existence was about to become.
Lady Daisy... no, Lady Iris Warwick, Lady Iris Pembroke...
To Daisy, it was as if all the pieces of her life were finally falling into place. She'd fought hard to make her life better, and now in the short space of one night, it had all happened at once.
As Iris staggered down the stairs to sleep in the bed that really was hers, for now, she wasn't so sure that this was the right thing to do. Fooling society, tricking the Duke, acting in front of the new family that she would work for, felt wrong. But really, there was no right answer to this one. The more Iris thought about it, the more she realized that while it felt wrong, this was probably the most positive outcome.
She moved past all the other staff quickly without saying a word to any of them, and they could all see that she needed time alone so they didn't speak to her either. Betty's face curled up into an incredibly worried expression, but she did not say a word as Iris fell onto her bed to sleep. The poor little lamb had been through a very challenging night, clearly, it had worn her out.
I am Daisy now, she thought to herself. Daisy the maid. She did not even know what her friend’s surname was, it had not ever come up in conversation before. The last names of the lower class just did not matter.
Now she would have to find out.
Maybe as Daisy, she could find the sort of love that she wanted. It would not come with money and luxury, life would possibly be very hard, but without expectation, Iris thought that maybe she could do it. She could find a carpenter or a butler, and she could fall deeply, madly in love. They would never want to be apart, and they'd want to be together for many reasons, other than creating an heir... after all, an heir would have nothing to inherit.
The Duke of My Heart (Regency Romance) Page 11