by Coleen Kwan
“Nana’s going to be disappointed.”
“No more blind dates!” Ally pushed to her feet and paced around the living room. “I’m going to concentrate all my energies on fixing the shop. I’ll pay back Mr. Cummings all the rent I owe him, and I’ll show Nate I’m a good tenant. And if I fail, well, then…” What about that coffee shop she’d once thought of opening? No, she couldn’t do that if she bungled the gift store. She cast about her, searching for some inspiration, and spied Brian’s Canberra Raiders scarf dangling over an armchair. “Then I’ll move to Canberra and go to university.”
“Move to Canberra? Go to uni?” Jess sat up, spilling her chips. “But…why?”
“Why not? I’ve thought about going to uni before.” She paused as she registered the dismay on her sister’s face. “Oh, Jess. Don’t look so worried. I’m just talking.” But the concept of further study had floated in the back of her mind for some time…she’d just never discussed it with Jess.
“Maybe it would be good for you to make a fresh start, and you’d do so well at uni.” Jess chewed her lip, her face clouded. “It’s just that I… Well, I like having you around. It’s always nice to know you’re not far away, especially now…”
Something in her sister’s voice snagged Ally’s attention, and she dropped onto the couch next to her sister. “What do you mean? Is something…is something wrong with you?” Jess didn’t speak, and Ally’s imagination went into overdrive.
“No, nothing’s wrong with me.” Jess gave her a small deprecating smile. “It’s just that I’m pregnant again.”
For a moment, Ally just stared at her sister, then she clasped her arms around her and hugged her fiercely. “Oh, sis! That—that’s wonderful news!”
A dull ache throbbed low in her belly. She told herself it was psychosomatic and forced away the memories to muster a bright smile for her sister. “Another baby! You and Brian must be so thrilled. Have you told Nana yet?”
Jess grinned. “Not yet. I’m just a few weeks in. You’re the first to know.”
“No wonder Brian was so smoochy-smoochy when he said good-bye to you this afternoon.”
“He loves being a dad.” Jess’s smile faded at the edges. “I’m the one feeling a little overwhelmed this time. We didn’t plan this one, you see. I knew we were going to have more kids, but not so soon. In a few months I’ll have three children under the age of three, not to mention the business as well. I don’t know if I’ll be able to cope.”
“Jess, you’re the master of coping.” She gave her sister another hug. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to manage. You always do.”
“Do I? Well, sometimes it gets very tiring always being the person who holds it together. Sometimes it would be nice to just let myself go to pieces.”
Ally blinked. When had her sister ever gone to pieces? Even when their parents had died Jess had remained the stoic big sis who’d been there to comfort her, keeping her own tears private.
“I’m here for you, sis. Whatever you need to get you through this, just call me. I mean it.”
“Thanks.” Taking Ally’s hand, she pressed it against her still-flat abdomen. “And the baby thanks you, too.”
Against her palm, Ally felt her sister’s taut stomach, and she imagined the tiny fetus curled up inside, delicate and precious like a rosebud. Involuntarily her teeth clamped against the inside of her cheek. Something warm and salty pricked her tongue. She flattened her lips and swallowed, the blood trickling down to join the ache still secreted inside her.
Ally plunged the sponge into the bucket of water, crushed it between her hands, then swept it over the shelf. Her knees were sore from kneeling on the wooden floor, and her hands were red and chafed. Some way to be spending a Sunday evening. She ought to be relaxing in a bubble bath or reading a book, but she was too pent-up to lie still. Not after Sunday dinner at Jess’s place, with Nana giving her the third degree about both Paul and the gift shop, and then going into a tizzy when Jess had told her about her pregnancy.
She grimaced and scrubbed the already pristine shelf even harder. While her grandma had fussed over Jess, Ally had been aware of that dull ache in her again. She didn’t like feeling jealous of her sister. She wasn’t jealous; she was more…heartsore.
So now she was cleaning the shop, preparing it for the new stock that would be arriving the next week. Already she had planned the layout and printed out flyers to distribute in the following days.
A tap on the front door had her frowning. Just because the lights were on, people assumed the shop was open. Couldn’t they read the sign? Pulling herself to her feet, she took a couple steps toward the door, then halted. Peering at her through the glass was Seth.
She froze, and her mind went blank.
He gave her a sheepish wave, his expression tentative, as if he fully expected her to snub him. That did it. If he thought she couldn’t face him after all this time, he could think again. Chin up, she walked over to the door and unlocked it.
Seth dipped his head. “Uh, hi…”
“Hello, Seth.” She looked him up and down, cucumber cool. “This is a surprise. Looking for a last-minute gift for your fiancée? I have some Angora sweaters she’d simply adore.”
“Um…no…I didn’t come to buy anything…” He shuffled his feet on her doormat.
“No? Then I’ll have to ask you to leave. I’m terribly busy at the moment.”
“Oh, well, I guess I could have a look around.”
An icy control had taken hold of her. She held the door open. “Come inside, then.”
Seth edged into the shop, blinking furtively under the bright lights. The years had altered the man she’d thought she would spend the rest of her life with. His clothes were slick, his haircut expensive. He looked like he worked out at a gym, which was just as well because a shadow of fat had begun to dog his chin. The pampered life of a city fat cat, she thought caustically. The easy-going, down-to-earth country boy she’d known had turned into a metrosexual.
He glanced about him, avoiding her eye. “Nice place you’ve got here.”
“I like it.” She walked over to the rack of Angora sweaters she’d been about to pack away and grabbed the most hideous one, a bright pink puffball adorned with bobbles and ribbons. “Here. I’ve got the perfect gift for you—any woman would love to wear this. It’s the latest thing this spring.” She thrust the garment into his hands.
Alarm flickered over Seth’s face. “I don’t know if this is Paige’s taste.”
She paused, waiting for the mention of his fiancée’s name to trigger some response in her. Jealousy, irritation, curiosity…but there was nothing. She waited another moment, but still nothing. Nothing except relief. Relief that she could look at him with dispassionate eyes and know she was well and truly over him. That she was a hundred times better off without him. That she’d had a lucky escape. Oh, the relief.
But that didn’t mean she was ready to go easy on him.
“I’m telling you, that sweater is a guaranteed winner.” She fixed him with a penetrating gaze as she picked up another sweater and pressed it on him. “In fact, I insist you buy a second one for Paige’s mother. Crystal will love wearing this on television, absolutely love it. I take all major credit cards.” She held out her palm toward him.
“Oh…I don’t…” His cheeks puffed in and out before he relented and dug in his pocket for his wallet. “Okay, here you go.”
She took his credit card and sauntered to the counter to process the sale.
Seth shuffled up behind her. “I guess I can afford it,” he muttered.
Her spine stiffened but she remained silent. She punched the keys of the cash register, glad to charge several hundred dollars to Seth’s account. Not that he would care much. That jacket of his alone must have cost him thousands. He had the same expensive tastes as Nate, yet he wasn’t half as attractive. Money had made Seth sleek and self-satisfied, but Nate wasn’t altered by his wealth. After all, he was willing to swap his city pe
nthouse for his brother’s modest house. But why was she comparing Seth to Nate, anyway? Why was she even thinking about Nate?
She completed the sale, folded the two sweaters into a bag, and handed it to Seth with a bland smile as if he were just another of her customers. “Enjoy. So glad you could pop by.”
“Can we talk?”
She sighed, suddenly weary. It was heartening to realize Seth did nothing for her pulse rate anymore, but that didn’t mean she wanted to spend more time with him. He was a part of her past, a past from which she wanted to move on.
“Seth.” Spreading her hands on the counter, she kept her voice low and firm as she said, “What’s done is done. I don’t want to rehash the past. I don’t have any opinion about you marrying Paige. It’s your life, and you can do what you want.”
He exhaled a long breath, his shoulders relaxing. “Oh, you don’t know how glad I am to hear you say that. I’ve been a bit worried, you know. I thought you might be kind of weird about the whole thing.”
“Weird?” She frowned. “What do you mean, weird?”
He shrugged, his usual uncommunicative self. “Oh, y’know, I thought you might still have it in for me. A woman scorned, and all that kind of thing.”
A tiny hammer thudded against the insides of her temples. “And just what exactly did you think I’d do in revenge? Boil your pet bunny?”
He gave an uneasy laugh. “I really don’t know.”
“No, you don’t, do you? You don’t have a clue.” Her fingers curled into the flesh of her palm. “You know what? I am so relieved we didn’t get married. Because it’s obvious you don’t know me at all, and when I look at you now with your fancy clothes”—she waved at him—“I realize I don’t know you, either. Isn’t that strange? After everything we’ve been through, you’re like a stranger to me now.”
Seth opened and shut his mouth a couple of times. “So…we’re good, then?”
She widened her eyes, wondering if he was being deliberately obtuse. “Sure, Seth. We’re all right.” Despite herself, she couldn’t help adding, “Does Paige know you’re here?”
His gaze slid away from her. “Well, that’s the thing…”
She shook her head in disbelief. “You haven’t told her, have you? About being engaged to me and jilting me on our wedding day.”
“Not exactly.”
She rolled her eyes. “Why haven’t you told her?”
“I don’t know.” He scratched behind his ear. “It never came up. I don’t talk much about Burronga. When I left for Sydney, I wanted a clean break.”
From her. Despite everything, a tiny tentacle of pain brushed against her. “That’s a shoddy excuse, Seth. You should have told her about me, especially when you decided to get married, and even more so when she wanted to have the wedding here. What’s going to happen when she finds out about it from someone else? I don’t think she’ll be very happy, do you?”
He licked his lips, the furtive expression sliding back onto his face. “That’s, uh, why I’m here.”
Her mouth fell open. “You think I might blab to her? Is that it? I don’t know what to be offended at the most. That you would keep me a secret, or that you think I would try to screw up your wedding.” She glowered at him, his muteness only fueling her irritation. She ought to make him squirm and grovel, but the prospect left her cold. She didn’t want revenge. She just wanted him out of her life for good.
She waved him off, tired of his company. “You don’t deserve it, Seth, but I won’t do anything to mess up your wedding.”
His shoulders relaxed. “That’s great, Ally. I really appreciate it. I knew you’d come through for me.”
“I’m not doing it for you; I’m doing it for Paige. I feel sorry for her. It’s none of my business, but you shouldn’t be keeping secrets from her.”
“I—I’ll tell her sometime. Everything’s such a rush at the moment. There’s no time for anything with the wedding just two weeks from now.”
“Why are you guys in such a hurry to get married anyway?” She drew in a quick breath. “Is Paige…?” The word stuck in her gullet. Why couldn’t she say it? It happened all the time. And given the hastiness of the wedding, it was the logical thing to suspect. She wasn’t the first to think it, even if she couldn’t verbalize it.
He wrinkled his brow, looking completely perplexed. “We’re getting married in a hurry because I’m being transferred to London shortly.”
“Oh.” Was that all? “I see. That’s…good.”
“Yeah, it’s great.” With a satisfied air he tucked the bag under his arm and made for the exit. “Paige’s dad didn’t believe us at first. Thought we were getting married because she was pregnant. Can you believe it? As if we’d be so careless.” He opened the door and paused to look back at Ally. “Thanks. I knew I could count on you.”
The bell jingled, and the door banged shut.
Ally forced herself to walk over and lock the door. She leaned her back against the glass, then slowly slid down until she was sitting on the hard floor.
…
One of the drawbacks of Burronga was the lack of late-night eating places, especially on a Sunday. Nate had been painting and cleaning all day, getting his house ready for his final move, and hadn’t stopped until his growling stomach warned him it was time for a break. By then it was almost ten and his chances of picking up a decent meal were slim to none. Which was why he’d resorted to visiting the gargantuan McDonald’s on the main freeway. With the smell of hot French fries permeating the interior of his Maserati, he decided to return home via Burronga’s main street. He had no reason to take this longer route, but something in him wanted to drive past Ally’s building. Just a friendly check, he told himself. Not that he was going to stop and knock on her door or anything. But ever since Friday night he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Even when he was painting and scrubbing she was there at the back of his mind, lingering like a sweet perfume.
He cruised past the Red Possum, just about shut at this time of night. Up ahead he saw Ally’s building, a glimmer of light radiating from the upstairs rooms. So she was still up. His chest tightened a fraction. This was stupid. But he slowed down anyway.
Out of the corner of his eye he caught a blur of movement, a shadow slipping through the dimness beneath the awning of the gift shop. He frowned. The hunched figure, obscured by the hood of a baggy sweatshirt, moved toward the door leading up to Ally’s apartment and pawed at the handle. Nate didn’t stop to think twice. He pulled the car to a halt, leaped out, and sprinted the short distance to the door.
“Hey, you! What do you think you’re doing?” He reached out to pull back the hood shrouding the slight figure only to reveal Ally staring up at him. Her face was pale and splotchy, her eyelids swollen, the tip of her nose pink. He drew back in shocked surprise. “Ally?”
She flinched. “Yeah, what?”
“What are you doing out so late?” He glimpsed a bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag in her hands. “Alcohol?” He couldn’t hide his astonishment.
“A bottle of wine. So what?”
Her fumy breath wafted over him. She’d had a couple of glasses already. She didn’t strike him as the kind of person who drank much, and definitely not by herself. Uneasiness slithered through the pit of his stomach.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
“Nope,” she said, tossing her head. Her eyes held an unnatural glitter. They looked as hard as chips of ice. This wasn’t the Ally he was used to; something had happened.
He curled his fingers around her elbow. “Come on, let me help you upstairs.”
“I told you, I don’t need you.” She tried to jerk her arm free but only succeeded in dropping her keys. “Shit.”
He stilled. He’d never heard Ally utter profanities before. But tonight something had happened. He bent to scoop up the keys and in a few seconds had the door unlocked. Not letting go of her, he assisted her up the stairs. She fussed a few times, telling him she was fine and didn
’t need any help. He ignored her.
In her living room he steered her to the couch, where she sank down, the fight suddenly out of her. The bottle slipped from her hands and rolled over the carpet. On the coffee table sat an empty wine bottle and a used wineglass, smudged around the rim. Using his toe, he nudged the fallen bottle under the couch before sitting down beside her.
“How much have you had already?” He touched her shoulder tentatively.
“Just a couple. Honest.” She blinked up at him, her eyes huge and hollow in her pallid face. She screwed up her forehead. “Don’t look at me like that,” she muttered.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m some wino you stumbled across.” She pulled herself forward, resting her elbows on the knees of her jeans so she could press her forehead into her hands. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
“I was just out for a late-night meal.”
“Huh. Don’t let me stop you.”
He shook his head. “I’m not leaving until you tell me why you feel the need to get drunk on your own.”
“Has anyone ever told you how pushy you are?”
“All the time.” He tried to keep his voice light and level. “So why are you feeling so down? Is it because of my buying this building? You should know I’ve got no intention of changing anything. You can carry on renting—”
Stiffening, she lifted her head to glare at him. “I’m good for the rent,” she told him coldly. “I’m making big changes to the store. You’ll see; I’ll pay Mr. Cummings every last cent I owe him. And I’ll pay your rent on time, every month.”
He nodded placatingly. “Okay, so—”
“Did Seth ask you to keep me sweet?” Her eyes grew even harder, her mouth compressing to a thin line. “Is that why you’ve come snooping round here? He didn’t believe me when I said I wouldn’t blab to his fiancée?”
“Seth’s been to see you?” He felt his eyebrows draw together into a tight knot.