by Coleen Kwan
“Oh, yes. This afternoon. Didn’t he tell you? He dropped in just to say hello and, oh, by the way, would I mind not saying a word about us to Paige because the poor woman doesn’t know a thing about it.”
Nate clenched his hand on his knee. “I didn’t realize he was down here this weekend.”
She peered closer at him. “Interesting. So you already know that Paige is blissfully unaware of me and the past engagement.”
“Yeah.” He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve tried to convince him it’s best he tell her before she finds out from someone else, but he won’t listen to me.” Damn Seth! How deluded and insensitive could the guy get? He had half a mind to tell Paige himself but knew he wouldn’t. He’d interfered in Seth’s love life once; he wasn’t prepared to do it again. He studied Ally’s smudged face and his heart dipped. Had she been crying over Seth? Why did that bother him so much?
“I thought you were over Seth,” he said.
“I am.”
He hesitated, not knowing what to say next. Before he realized what he was doing, his arm slid around her shoulders. She felt light in his embrace, and right, too, fitting into the crook of his arm as if she were made for it. She didn’t resist, just let herself lean against him, and as her hair brushed against his cheek, his nostrils filled with the smell of citrus shampoo and a deeper, more evocative scent, something that made his senses vibrate.
He cleared his throat. “You know, I’ve sometimes wondered why you two were so keen to get married. I mean, nineteen is pretty young, don’t you think?”
She drew away from him, fingers smoothing down the creases in her jeans, her attention focused on her task. “Nate, you’re a smart guy,” she said slowly. “Why do you think a nineteen-year-old girl would need to get married?”
The words sunk in after a moment, and he wondered how dumb he must be not to have figured it out before. “You were pregnant?”
She nodded, her fingers working feverishly on the same crease, sliding back and forth across the denim.
“What happened?” he asked.
She spoke haltingly, as if the words had been buried in her for too long. “I got pregnant, and I just couldn’t tell my grandmother or my sister. I don’t know why. Maybe I felt stupid; maybe I felt I’d let down the family. My nana definitely wouldn’t have approved. Seth was also too afraid to tell his parents, so we decided we wouldn’t tell anyone. After all, we’d been going out for ages, so it wasn’t a big surprise that we wanted to get married. Anyway, a week before the wedding, I had a miscarriage.” She paused, her teeth working at her lower lip, her fingers digging into her jeans. “I told Seth we didn’t have to go through with the wedding if he didn’t want to, but he insisted he did. And I wanted to go ahead, too. Well, you know what happened next.”
Nate wiped away the perspiration suddenly beading his upper lip. “You didn’t tell anyone? About the miscarriage?”
She shook her head. “Only my doctor.” She paused to look up at him. “And now you.” Another pause before her face twisted. “Nate, don’t look like that. I shouldn’t have told you. It’s ancient history.”
“No, I’m glad you did.” He grasped her cold hand and rubbed it between his. “God, Seth is such a prick! I could punch him in the face.”
She slipped her hand away from his grasp. “If you think I’m drinking too much tonight because of Seth, then you’re very much mistaken. I’m glad we didn’t get married. Neither of us would have been happy.”
“Then why—”
“Because…” She inhaled slowly. “Every now and then I can’t help thinking about the baby, and I get sad. Even though I would have had a bad marriage with Seth, still, it would have been worth it for…” She swiped at her eyes impatiently. “It’s silly, I know.”
“It’s not silly.” The suppressed pain in her expression tugged at him until it felt as though a giant fishhook had snagged his heart. All these years she’d kept this grief to herself, but for some reason she’d confided in him tonight. Maybe because he wasn’t anyone close to her. Maybe because he just happened to be here at the crucial moment. He pulled her closer, drawing her into the wall of his chest. “I’m sorry. Really sorry.”
She grimaced. “Hey, don’t go all mopey on me. I couldn’t bear it.”
“Okay.” He let her go, wondering why he was reluctant to. “It’s just, I want to do something for you, but what?”
She gazed at him for a while. “Where’s that bottle of wine I bought? It’s disappeared.”
“You sure that’s a good idea?”
“I’m sure it’s a bad idea, but what the hell.” She shrugged. “You can either join me or leave me.”
“In that case, I’d better join you.” Reaching under the couch, he plucked out the bottle still in its paper bag. “When it comes to bad ideas, I’m the king.”
Chapter Seven
Nate sat in his car outside Seth’s parents’ house. The sun was barely scraping above the horizon as he waited impatiently for his cousin to appear. If he’d been younger, he would have banged on the front door and barged into Seth’s bedroom without a qualm. But nowadays he liked to think he wasn’t so bull-headed. So instead of waking up and riling his uncle and aunt, who weren’t exactly his biggest fans anyway, he’d called Seth on his mobile and told him to meet him outside.
The front door opened, and Seth came shuffling out, yawning and scratching. Nate’s fingers drummed faster on the steering wheel as his cousin flopped into the passenger seat next to him. “Hey, what’s up, dude?” Seth mumbled.
Ratbag. Nate felt the blood thudding in his ears as he stared at his cousin. He’d shared his Sydney apartment with Seth for six months. He’d found him an entry-level clerical job at a stockbroking firm. He’d given him money, food, shelter, support. He’d helped him run away from Burronga, and from Ally.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
The snarl in his voice he couldn’t suppress made Seth blink. “Tell you what?”
“She was pregnant. She was carrying your own child.” His skin seethed, like he was covered in fire ants. The feeling had been with him ever since he’d left Ally’s apartment twenty minutes ago. “And you deserted her.”
Realization dawned on Seth’s face. “Shit, are you talking about Ally? What’s she been saying about me?”
“Only the truth.”
“Hey, man, if she told you everything, then you know I didn’t desert her. It—it wasn’t like she was pregnant when I left. Jeez, if she were still up the duff then I would have married her, no sweat. But she had that miscarriage, and—and afterward it got me thinking I didn’t have to marry her after all. Know what I’m saying? It was like, I don’t know, like a second chance—urgh!”
Nate had grabbed his cousin by his T-shirt and hauled him closer until Nate was only inches away from Seth’s perspiring face. Inside his skull, his blood was thrumming. “A second chance?” He bent his head close. “You mean, the miscarriage was your get-out-of-jail card? You miserable jerkwad.”
Seth’s face was suddenly crimson. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he croaked.
Seconds ticked by as Nate glared into his cousin’s bulging eyes, then he suddenly snapped back to sanity. He let go of Seth, trying to contain the exploding emotion within him. He turned on the ignition, gunned the engine, and pulled away from the curb, wheels squealing.
He’d spent the whole night at Ally’s place. At first he hadn’t wanted her to drink alone, so he’d shared the bottle of wine with her while they talked. She didn’t mention Seth or the baby again, and he didn’t pry. They talked mostly about the gift shop, how she was changing things and how her grandma didn’t approve. And then, a glass and a half later, she’d suddenly rested her head on a cushion and fallen asleep. He could have left then, but he didn’t. Instead, he’d carried her into her bedroom and put her to bed. Then he’d stretched out on the couch and eventually slept as well. When he’d woken at six thirty, he’d gone to check on Ally. Sh
e was still asleep, clutching onto a pillow as if it were a life raft, and as he’d stared at her, the simmering rage in him had come to a fierce boil, and he’d driven over to Seth’s parents’ house.
Now, as he viewed his cousin, he wondered what the hell had gotten into him. What had he hoped to achieve by rushing over here and confronting Seth? Ally certainly wouldn’t appreciate it.
“I didn’t mean to hurt Ally,” Seth muttered. “I was trying to do the right thing. Is it such a sin to admit I was relieved I didn’t have to get married? That I wasn’t going to be a father at the age of nineteen? Frigging hell, I wasn’t ready for any of that.”
And neither was Ally. Yet she’d had to cope with far more. The miscarriage, yes, had hurt her more than Seth jilting her. She’d needed his support, but instead he’d run away, the selfish coward. Nate spun the Maserati around a corner, engine growling, before he eased up on the accelerator.
“You’re a weasel, you know that?” he said.
“Yeah, okay.” Seth rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I deserve that. I’m just not good at confrontation like you are.”
Nate snorted. “It’s called having balls, mate.”
Seth didn’t say anything, just picked at his nails. Then he glanced up, curiosity all over his face. “So, are you, like, seeing Ally now?”
“Huh?” Nate jerked his head round. “No, course not. What on earth gave you that idea?”
“She told you about the pregnancy.” Seth massaged his unshaven jaw. “And then you almost punched me out.”
“You deserved it,” Nate growled. “But there’s nothing going on between Ally and me.” He made an impatient gesture with his hand, unsatisfied with how this was turning out. Jeez, he should have just headed straight home. “Look, let’s call it quits then.” He took the next corner at a sedate speed.
“You’re still coming to the wedding, aren’t you?”
He frowned, puzzled by his cousin’s question. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Just checking.” Seth cracked his knuckles, his usual ploy when he was nervous. “Thing is, I’m going to be swamped by all of Paige’s family and friends at the wedding, and they’re all so la-di-dah. I need someone in my corner.”
Someone to even out the riffraff numbers. Still, Seth was family, and he had precious little of that commodity. He blew out a sigh. “Of course I’ll be there.”
“Thanks. I’ve had a whole weekend of Kerrigans already, and they’re driving me nuts.”
“That’s what happens when you get married.”
Seth shifted about in his seat. “And you’re really not interested in Ally?”
Nate glowered at him. “Why d’you keep asking me that?”
“I dunno. I suppose it’s because you’re moving back to Burronga, staring a new life. Just thought maybe you wanted to settle down with one woman as well.”
Nate snorted. “I haven’t changed that much.” Settling down. He snorted again. If ever a woman was the settling-down type, it was Ally Griffin. Which was why he had to be careful around her. Especially after last night.
He drew the car to a halt outside Seth’s parents’ place. Seth’s dad was on the porch in his T-shirt and shorts, peering suspiciously at them. Nate raised a hand in salute, but his uncle just scowled harder.
His aunt and uncle had never had much time for Nate or Robbie. Nate’s mother and Seth’s mother were sisters, but they’d never been close, and Uncle Derek had once called Nate and Robbie “the devil’s spawn.”
“See you later,” Seth said.
Nate nodded and made his escape.
…
It felt as though something furry had crawled into her mouth and died. Ally lifted her head from the pillow and groaned as pain assaulted her from every angle. She didn’t know which was worse, the demon playing cymbals inside her head, the heaving nausea in her stomach, or the gagging aridness of her throat. She rolled out of bed and staggered to the bathroom, where she turned on the basin tap and let the water dribble straight into her parched mouth.
She was never going to drink so much wine again. In fact, she was giving up all alcohol for good. Squinting at her pasty reflection in the mirror, she groaned again. What had happened last night? The details were hazy. She recalled finishing an already opened bottle of wine on her own, and then going to buy another bottle, coming back here, and bumping into Nate. She caught her breath. Nate. They’d talked a bit about Seth, and then he’d held her hand and put his arm around her. Oh, how sweet and comforting his arms had felt. And then…then she’d told him about the pregnancy and the miscarriage.
Her stomach rolled. Oh, hell, she was going to be sick. Why had she blabbed her rawest of secrets to him, of all people? Nate Hardy. He was virtually a stranger. No, worse than that, he was her adversary. Except…last night he hadn’t been. He had understood her pain; he’d been on her side. Heck, he’d even offered to punch Seth for her. And then he’d opened the bottle of wine, and they’d talked a bit more, and she couldn’t remember anything after that…
Ignoring the hammering in her head, she rushed into the living room. There were the two used wineglasses on the coffee table. The throw rug she usually draped over the back of the couch was all scrunched up into a ball, and the cushions were piled up on one end as if someone had used them as a pillow. Someone named Nate.
Before she could speculate further, she heard her front door opening, footsteps on her stairs, and a few moments later, Nate appeared. He looked in much better shape than she did. Even though his jeans and shirt were rumpled and his jaw unshaven, his movements were quick, his eyes clear and alert. A little too alert as they scanned her from head to toe, making her all too aware of her disheveled appearance.
He held out the cardboard tray in his hands containing two to-go coffees. “You look like you could do with one of these.”
“Nate…” She ran her fingers through her hair and then regretted it as she realized what a stork’s nest it was. “Did—did you spend the whole night here?”
“On the couch. All night.” He pressed one of the foam cups into her hands. “But don’t worry; I was the perfect gentleman.”
His winking smile made her groan even as it sent a shiver through her. “Oh, God. I don’t know what came over me last night. You must think I’m a complete basket case.”
He ushered her to the couch, and she didn’t have the strength to resist. Sinking into the cushions, she curled her fingers around the cup and took a sip of the hot, reviving coffee.
“No, I don’t.” He looked calm and sane and unnervingly attractive. “You had every right to behave the way you did. My cousin isn’t the most perceptive of guys nor the most sensitive.”
She nodded and drank some more coffee. She’d done enough talking about Seth to last her a lifetime. “Just so you know, last night was an aberration. I don’t normally drink so much.”
“No kidding.” He offered her a wry smile. “But it’s good to know you’re not completely straitlaced.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m also a maudlin drunk.”
“No, you’re human, just like the rest of us.”
“I won’t be doing it again in a hurry.”
Nate shifted in his seat, and some of his composure seemed to ebb away. “I have to admit something. When I woke up this morning, I didn’t just go out for coffee. I drove over to Seth’s place and gave him a piece of my mind.”
The coffee sloshed around in her cup. “What?” Cold dismay dripped through her veins. “Why did you do that?”
“I’m sorry—I know it was the wrong thing.” He leaned forward, his expression determined. “But I had to tell him how I felt. Of course, my bloody temper almost got the better of me. Don’t worry. I didn’t break into his bedroom and throttle him, although that’s what I felt like doing. I just took him for a little drive and told him what a jerk he was. That’s all.”
“That’s all? Sounds like plenty to me.”
Nate held up his hand. “I had to get it off
my chest, but it’s done now. And Seth doesn’t appear to have any hard feelings.” He paused, his expression a curious mixture of indignation and apology. “I used to blow my stack a lot when I was younger, but I’m better now.”
She shot him a dark frown. “I suppose there’s no harm done, but you can’t do it again. It’s something I prefer to keep to myself.”
“You regret confiding in me, then?”
Her frown lingered as she pondered his question. She didn’t regret confiding in him, she realized. It had been a relief to unburden herself, to express all the feelings she’d suppressed and carried alone. And it had felt good to lean her head against his chest and rest in his arms. Very good. She could have spent all night in his embrace. But that was the problem. Why did it have to be Nate she’d bumped into last night? What had made her spill her secret to him and no one else?
“I…” Glancing up, she found him studying her with an intensity that first startled her and then lured her in. The rough stubble on his jaw made her want to caress his chin with her fingers, then slide them through his dark, tousled hair. It wasn’t an accident that she’d confessed her secret to him. She knew it was something more, something deeper and fundamental. Something scary.
She tried to cover her confusion by taking a gulp of coffee. “I don’t regret it,” she answered haltingly. “I—I’m glad I didn’t have to drink alone last night.”
“You should never have to drink alone. Next time you feel the urge, just give me a call.”
She pressed her knees together as a very different kind of urge suddenly blossomed between her thighs. Would Nate want her to call about this urge? The idea sent more heat smoldering through her. Worried about a telltale blush rising, she jumped to her feet and instantly regretted it as the bongo drums inside her skull started up again.
“Ouch.” She winced.
Nate rose to his feet, swallowing the last of his coffee. “You should take some aspirin and lie down.”
“Can’t.” She kneaded her temples. “I have loads of new stock coming in today, and I have to get the shop prepared.”