A Relationship...Or Something Like It

by Greene, Caroline

  We even talk about what grade school was like for both of us. I even confide in him about my worst experience at being bullied. I had always been a target for bullies with my wild, frizzy hair that did not look like everyone else’s and the fact that I had learning disabilities and had to go into the resource room for extra help with math. After being skinny and then getting chunky once hitting puberty, the other kids capitalized on it and called me “Flabby Abby.” After that, I insisted that everybody call me Abigail.

  As a middle school teacher himself, Kyle understood exactly what I experienced and told me that he sees things like this among his students every day. He said as a student he was small and scrawny and for a while turned to drugs, as the burnout group seemed to welcome him and offer protection. Not total protection, though. He told me about an incident in high school gym class where the boys in his crowd started taunting somebody who was a goody-goody.

  “Marcus Horowitz was definitely a target. He was unattractive with a very obviously lazy eye,” Kyle confided. “Chris, my group’s ringleader, would torment him in the pool every day, throw things at him, etc.”

  I listened in sympathy.

  “I did not join in on this, but I laughed along with my crowd. One day, Marcus had enough of the teasing, so he grabbed me, the smallest and weakest one, and held me under water. I thought I was going to drown.”

  I was horrified. “Why wasn’t there anyone around to stop this?”

  Kyle sighed. “Since Marcus was being picked on I suppose none of us were completely innocent. The teacher threw a ball at Marcus and beamed him right in the head. Kids are cruel at that age and one of my goals as a teacher is to make sure incidents like ours do not get out of hand.”

  We also talked about the disapproval we are getting from others.

  “My sister-in-law Elizabeth was grocery shopping the other day, and she ran into Sherman Katz. He told her to tell me to stay away from you!”

  I had no idea if my mother put him up to this. I explained, “The Katz’s have become almost like family to us. Ruth and Sherman are among my parents’ best friends, and I think they wish that Alex and I would see each other as something more than friends someday. So, what did she say?”

  I am curious. I want to know what to expect if I meet Elizabeth, Raymond, and their family in the future.

  “Elizabeth told him to mind his own business. Then she said to me later that if you make me happy, I should do what I want. Raymond feels the same. They have always been supportive of me.”

  I am curious about his family and tell him a little bit about mine. “Well, Ross is kind of a suck-up to my parents at times, but he feels that I need to get out there more. He doesn’t know about this yet. You have a younger sister, right?”

  He replies, “Yeah, Jane. I think she more or less has her life together now. She had some problems with drug addiction a while back, but she seems to have done a decent job after taking over my father’s business when he retired. She got married, and Lee seems like a decent guy. They have a son who just turned two. I have never been as close to her as I am to Ray.”

  After dinner, we buy a paper but there are no good movie times. He suggests renting a video tape and going back to his brother’s house. I look forward to the opportunity as meeting his brother, sister-in-law, nieces, and nephew will introduce me to another facet of his life. Also, his willingness to present me to his family is a good sign of how he feels about me.

  We choose Harrison Ford’s Witness, an oldie but goodie, and we drive to where he is staying for the summer. His two nieces and his nephew are in their pajamas and are getting ready for bed. I can see how much they love each other. His brother and sister-in-law are very polite and ask me questions about my major, my summer job, etc. After a while, the family goes upstairs and leaves Kyle and me in the family room alone to watch our movie.

  Kyle is a perfect gentleman. He holds my hand throughout the whole movie. It is a nice feeling, and it makes me wonder what it would be like to do more, but had promised on the way over to his brother’s that he would behave himself and he was true to his word. I think that if he had tried more, it might have been a turnoff as I am still navigating my feelings and need to go slowly, and his willingness to respect that makes me like him even more.

  After the movie is over, he drives me to my car which is still at the restaurant and gives me a simple, closed-mouth kiss. I feel more chemistry in that kiss than I ever did from those men who tried to stuff their tongues down my throat. I cannot wait to go out with this man again and know for sure that this is the start of something bigger of which I have ever been a part.

  Chapter 11: Summer’s End

  Over the last few weeks of the summer, Kyle and I don’t see much of each other. The day after our date, I found out he took a couple of days off to go camping with his brother’s family. Then he breaks the news to Cate that they “recalled” him at his teaching job, and he put in his two weeks’ notice.

  We only have time for a quick lunch at a fast food place on our break where we do more hand holding and flirting. We exchange addresses and phone numbers and promise to write and call as often as we can. Our co-workers try to get more information about what is going on between Kyle and me, but I am determined to keep things to myself.

  After Kyle goes back to Florida, I have two more weeks before I go back to school for my senior year. I wrap things up getting as much new data as I can into the filing system and create a few more PR advertisements to put into my writing portfolio as I search for jobs. One of my responsibilities is to answer the phone when Agatha is unavailable so in my last week of work I do so, and Kyle is on the other line. We have a conversation about how nice it was to meet me and how much he hopes I will stay in touch. I am excited that he thought to keep in touch and anticipate long letters and phone calls during the school year and maybe visits over his and my breaks. Before I leave for school I write Kyle a letter:

  Dear Kyle,

  It was nice hearing from you before I leave for school. Work has been quiet and definitely more boring without you. I am looking forward to starting school and sharing an apartment with two of my closest friends. Hope all is well in Florida and that you are enjoying your students.

  I hope to hear from you soon!

  Abigail

  I think about how much nicer it is seeing each other in person and, hopefully, we can get together at least a few times this year. Maybe I’ll even consider applying for jobs in Florida. He’s not that far away from grandma Fanny and maybe if I do decide to move down there I could stay with her for a while. Life is full of possibilities!

  The next week is all about packing up for school, shopping for the apartment, and figuring out what books I need. I call up the political polling company and confirm that they still need people to work the phones until Election Day. I go to the library and research newspapers in Florida to which I could possibly send resumes during the upcoming year for my job search.

  Finally, my parents load up the car and drive me to my apartment to start my senior year of college. I wonder if there will be a reply to my letter waiting in my mailbox when I get up there. Diana moved in last week for some private time with Matt, and she didn’t mention anything but then again she wasn’t looking.

  Chapter 12: Back to School

  I have been up at school for three weeks and still no letter. Every day when I open up the mailbox and there is nothing in it for me, my heart sinks a little bit more. Matt and Diana seem so happy as do Ted and Leigh and after all the effort I put forth last summer, I am still alone. It is hard to believe that after all that excitement and flirting things meant nothing to Kyle.

  This year, I have an interesting roster of classes. My minor is American History, and I have Dr. Cohen, one of my favorite professors this semester. I enjoy his classes as he leads interesting conversations and picks thought provoking textbooks. This is the third class I have signed up for with Dr. Cohen, this time taking African American History. This year,
however, I find myself more distracted with my mind wandering back to this past summer and Kyle in Florida not writing to me. One day as I am leaving class, Dr. Cohen asks if he can speak to me for a moment. I assume it is about the reference I have asked him to provide for future employers. Instead, he has a look of concern on his face.

  “You are one of my best students, and I enjoy your contributions to class discussions. This year, you seem quieter than usual. Is everything alright?”

  I look at him with surprise as I did not realize that my distraction was affecting my coursework. I assure him that everything is fine and that I am just concerned with graduation and the future. After our talk, I leave his office and walk back to the apartment deep in thought. I am sorry I worried Dr. Cohen as he has always been one of the best professors I have ever had. I realize that I need to focus more, especially in his class, because he knows me so well. I know that I need to get advice on what my next steps should be in working things out with Kyle or if I should just forget him. It is important, especially this year, to keep up the quality of my work and I have never let a man influence things before, but my feelings for Kyle are all consuming, and I won’t be able to think of anything else until I know where I stand with him.

  I do not really want to tell Leigh and Diana about Kyle because I know they disapprove of the specifics I mention earlier in the summer. I decide to lie a little bit and say that I met someone through one of my ads, but he lives in a different state. I mention that he promised to write and call and that I have not heard from him in over a month. Leigh especially can tell I am not telling the full truth and she often asks me probing leading questions. She also spouts a lot of rhetoric about it always being the best policy to tell the truth no matter what. Diana, though she suspects the same thing, is kinder figuring I’ll tell the full story when I’m ready.

  Diana advises to send a casual card. I find a perfect one in the store with the picture of a chocolate bar on the front asking “How much do you like chocolate? A. I like chocolate B. I LIKE CHOCOLATE!!!” Then the inside of the card says “The answer is B on how much I like you.” She says that if the card does not work and I still want some answers, then I need to call him. I feel really shy about a voice confrontation, but I agree that may be the only way to know for sure.

  Before I could send my card or call the phone number that Kyle gave me, I am alone in the apartment when the phone rings.

  “Hello,” I answer.

  “Hello, I am looking for Abigail Wiseman. I met her over the summer, and I thought she was really cute. My name is Kyle Buchman.”

  “Kyle,” my heart is pounding. “I sent you a letter a month ago, but I never heard from you!”

  “I never received a letter.”

  I stammer for a bit trying to compose myself.

  “I gave you my address but not my phone number because we didn’t have a phone before you left for Florida.”

  “Well,” said Kyle “I went through a lot of trouble to get it. I called directory assistance, and it wasn’t listed under your name. Then I called Ross who gave me one of your roommate’s names, and I got a number. So here I am!”

  I am speechless and flattered that he would go through all that trouble to stay in touch with me.

  “I wanted to see if you are still interested in me and now that I know that you are, I will stay in touch!”

  I promise him a letter as we hang up, glad to know that I am not forgotten and this can be more than some summer fun.

  This is still so new to me, and I want to shield myself from judgment from my friends.

  “Who was that?” Leigh asks, hearing the tail end of my conversation as she comes home from her class. I know that I should fully disclose the truth about everything, but I feel I’m already caught too deep in the lie that I told. Even though I know things will drive Leigh away even further, I tell her that it was the guy my age from the ad calling me. Leigh just gives me a dirty look.

  When my parents call that night, before I can answer the phone, Leigh picks it up and informs them that I got a special phone call that I can’t wait to tell them about. Leigh looks at me and says,

  “It’s always best to tell the truth.”

  I pick up the phone and tell my parents that I have been talking to a lot of people connected with different newspapers all over the country and that I am pretty excited about my upcoming job hunt. My parents seem satisfied with the answer. I hang up the phone and look at Leigh,

  “You did not have any right to do that. I admit there are things right now that you don’t know the full truth about but that is because I am not ready to tell and be judged. As soon as I feel it is the right time, you will know everything.”

  Chapter 13: I LIKE YOU And Other Letters

  October 24, 1992 (Inside the “I LIKE YOU” card)

  Dear Kyle,

  I was very happy to get your phone call last week. Here is your answer in case you have any doubts about my feelings about you. School is going well. This semester I am taking African American History, Advanced Investigative Journalism, The Bible as Literature, and Telecommunication. I am also getting my resume together in preparation for interviews. It is hard to believe that I will be graduating next semester. I am thinking that I am tired of Michigan as it grows colder here and would not mind a warmer climate. What do you think the best newspapers down in Florida are? I could use a change of scenery. Please write back soon.

  Abigail

  November 3, 1992

  Dear Kyle,

  I haven’t heard from you in a while, and I hope everything is all right. I am just writing because I had to share my excitement. I just voted for Bill Clinton in my first presidential election and from the closing polls it looks like he is going to win. It just felt so grown up to participate in this process. I know politics can be a sensitive topic so you don’t have to tell me who you voted for.

  I just wanted to have an excuse to write. Hope all is well and that I hear from you soon.

  Abigail

  November 4, 1992

  Dear Grandma,

  I know I don’t write to you as often as I should, but I just wanted to say hi and let you know what is going on with me. I am in my last year of college, and I still want to work for a newspaper when I graduate. I am actually thinking about moving down to Florida.

  I met somebody at my job over the summer who I really like a lot. I can tell he likes me too, and we agreed to write and talk on the phone. Grandma, I know I can trust you for now to not say anything about this to mom and dad. Kyle lives in Coral Springs, and he is a middle school teacher. He is 34 years old which concerns my parents a bit so until I know a little bit more I am keeping things to myself. I am more excited about him than I have ever been about anyone in my life. We have only been on a couple of dates but thinking about him makes me feel so happy.

  He’s recently divorced, and I don’t know if he is quite over her. I hope that meeting me has helped him to want to move on. I am looking at some Florida newspapers and if all goes well, I may persuade my parents that I need to visit you on my Spring Break in March. Does your condo association paper hire outside help or is it an internal position?

  In any case, I hope you are doing well and I would like to know how you have been and what you are doing.

  Love,

  Abigail

  November 7, 1992

  Dearest Abigail,

  It was very nice to get your letter. Of course I would like for you to visit me in March. G-d willing, I will be well.

  As for your young man, I hope you have time to listen to some words of advice from your wise, old grandmother. I think you are attracted to him, and he has become an object of your fantasy. I fear you are not thinking with your head but with your heart. There is nothing wrong with that, and he may be the right man for you, but please continue dating people of your own age group. He is a mature man, with a marriage behind him, and I am afraid that if you are not careful you may get hurt. And listen to your parents: you a
re a young, beautiful woman, but they have had many more years of life experience.

  If you do come for a visit, I definitely want to meet this man so I can form my own opinion. I love hearing from you and hope you write again soon.

  Love,

  Grandma

  November 10, 1992

  “Hello, Kyle? This is Abigail.”

  “Oh hi, Abigail.”

  “I was just wondering if you had received my letter. After the last time, I wasn’t sure if I had the right address.”

  “I received it and the card was very cute. Um, I want to tell you something. I like you, and I want you to keep on writing and calling, but Sarah and I are talking again, and there is a chance we might give things another try.”

  I am speechless and take a few deep breaths so that I don’t embarrass myself and cry.

  “I will be happy for you if things work out and thank you for being honest, but I do like you and want to get to know you better.”