“Hey Sweetie.”
“Hey Clay.” I said without turning around.
“I’ve missed you and I’ve been worried about you.” Still leaning over me.
“I know. I’m sorry Clay.” Bending over he hugged me and kissed me on top of the head, sitting down next to me.
“So how are you doing?” Finally looking over at him I had to admit he looked good. I’d almost forgot how handsome he was.
“I’m Okay.” I said still doodling away.
“You know you could of called me. I would have been there for you in a heart beat. Anything you needed. Ride, place to crash, anything.”
“Thanks Clay. I wasn’t really thinking clearly.”
“Well, your still as beautiful as ever.” Looking at me intently.
“I really have missed you a lot.” Reaching over he grabbed my hand and squeezed.
Gavin walking from his truck got nailed with the visual. He had so many mixed emotions that he didn’t know where to begin. He didn’t know if he could compete with Clay or if he even wanted to anymore. He loved her more than anything, that wasn’t an issue. His issue was with how she felt. Always hot and cold. She was always holding back. He could tell she was afraid of something. Something he couldn’t quite pin point. Did he want to keep going on trying to break down that wall she built afraid of disappointment or did he want to give up? He hadn’t really decided that yet. But, looking at Clay trying to get all on top of her wasn’t helping his decisions any. He decided to walk on before he walked over and did something he might regret.
“Do you want to talk about it Madison?”
“No not really.” I said looking over at him. Finally, the first bell rang and it was time to get the day started, and over with.
“Here I’ll walk you to class.” He said grabbing my books before I had a chance to resist.
“Okay, thanks.” Heading down the hall. “Clay everyone is staring.”
“Who cares.”
“Everyone knows don’t they?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Sighing, I hung my head down low and kept my eyes on the floor letting Clay grab me by the arm to steer me through the traffic. Finally getting to class. “Thanks Clay.” I said starting to walk off.
“Hey you think we could talk some time? I miss you and I haven’t talked to you for almost a month now. I tried calling you these past few days but no one would let me talk to you.”
“Big surprise there.”
“You need a ride home?”
I about turned him down until I realized if I said do I would have to ride with Gavin coming face to face with him alone in his truck. I wasn’t ready for that yet.
“Yeah, actually I could use a ride home.”
His face lit up. “Sweet. I’ll wait for you at your locker after the last bell.”
“Okay. See you then.” I said turning and walking to my seat. The day actually flew by faster than I thought. I talked to Andrea a lot. Of course she wanted to know everything that went on. She also had to tell me all about Gavin telling her that he loved me. Which made me feel even worse than I already do. I didn’t even think that was possible. At lunch I ran into one of Gavin’s friends Ryan taking the easy way out and asked him to tell Gavin I was hitching a ride home with Clay. I hated doing it but, I guess I was being selfish and thought about my own feelings rather than his. I knew that was horrible of me and I did feel ashamed.
Just as promised after the last bell he was waiting for me as loyal as ever. I still felt like total crap and was just happy I was going back to my bed in a little while. Walking out into the parking lot he slung his arm around my shoulders. I was to weak and tired to put up a fight. I’m sure it set the whole parking lot buzzing. Taking me to his car he opened up the door for me and threw my books in the trunk. He was being extremely nice, and he was trying. But, I wasn’t going down that road again. One person inhabited my heart and it wasn’t him. When we arrived he opened up the door for me, grabbing my books walking me up to the front porch.
“This isn’t necessary Clay.”
“Of course it isn’t, but I want to.” He said smiling genuinely.
“You want a ride tomorrow?” Asking excitedly.
“Clay, I’m way out of your way.”
“It’s okay Madison I can afford it. Don’t worry.”
I felt bad for saying yes, like I was leading him on. But, I agreed and I made sure to tell him to pick me up at a time before Gavin left so I could get out of here. The next couple weeks went by without incident. I pretty much avoided the men in the house as they avoided me. I think William was thrilled to see Clay around. Gavin never questioned me, or talked to me about not riding to school with him anymore. Of course everyone assumed Clay and I were dating again. But, he didn’t push me into anything but a friendship. Which was surprising. He would tow the line however on telling me I was beautiful and putting his arm around me every chance he could get. I didn’t brush him off. It was comforting a lot of times because I felt so lonely. My best friend and love of my life wasn’t speaking to me so of course I felt alone.
Winter was behind us, and everyone was modeling their spring clothes. It seemed like the mood was getting lighter at school now that the gloomy, cold days were getting behind us. I pulled out all my skirts and sandals in appreciation of the new weather. Clay had not missed one day of picking me up and taking me home. I think his main motivation for doing this, is to keep me away from Gavin. Gavin graduating soon was a form of depression for me. It’s one thing avoiding each other, it’s quite another him not being around to have the option.
This morning when Clay picked me up, his mood was different. More serious.
“Clay is there something wrong?” I asked sitting down in the passenger seat.
“No, nothing. Well, I need to ask you a question.”
“Anything.” I said smiling at him. Pulling a dozen roses out of the back seat, he set them in my lap. “What are these for?”
“Madison , will you go to the Prom with me?”
“Oh, Clay. You remember our last dance we went to.”
“I’m not that person Madison, you know that. I just got into the wrong crowds. And you know I haven’t been hanging around them, or Eric anymore.”
“I know Clay, and that’s great. But I told you we can only be friends.”
“Well, will you at least think about it?”
“Okay Clay. I probably won’t go at all, but I’ll think about it.” Deep down in my heart I wanted to go with Gavin more than anything. Gavin was my dream date. The guy I’ve been dreaming about all my life. I couldn’t go with Clay and see Gavin with his date again. I just can’t. I’d rather not go at all. That day at school I could hear people talking about their prom dates and everyone was so excited that is was less than three weeks away. Andrea came up to me, telling me about the rumor going around that I was definitely going with Clay. They could say what they wanted. I had already decided by second period that I was telling him thank you but, no.
By the last bell ringing, I was dreading telling him no. I noticed Gavin glancing at me in class a lot more than usual and I wondered what that was all about. He probably heard the same rumor. Usually he kept his back to me at all times. As usual, Clay was by my locker again. Grabbing my books he walked me out and we got into his car. Pulling out he didn’t say much not until he got into my drive way. Putting it in park he left his engine running and turned to look at me.
“So, have you decided?”
“Sorry Clay. I’ve decided not to go. You deserve to go with someone who is romantically interested in you, and someone you can have fun with.”
Grabbing my hand. “Madison, your that girl for me. Can’t you see that. I do have fun with you, and I am in love with you. You have to know that.”
My head started spinning, and I was thinking “not again.” “Clay, I’m sorry I’m not ready for anything like that. I’m so sorry.” With a pained expression on my face. I just felt so horrible. I
felt like I was doing the same thing to Clay as I did to Gavin, and I hated it.
“Fine, it’s okay Madison.” He said pulling me in for a hug.
“I didn’t meant to make you upset. We could go as friends Madison. I really want to go with you. I can’t imagine going with anyone else.”
“Clay you’ve had a million gorgeous girls that have asked you. Why didn’t you say yes to any of them?”
“They’re not you.” Placing a kiss on my forehead.
“I just don’t think so Clay. Don’t be mad at me. Please say yes to one of those million girls that would do cart wheels to go with you.”
“Are you positive?”
“Yes. I’m sorry Clay.”
“I’m not mad at you Madison. Just disappointed.” Looking back into my eyes with all seriousness. “I really screwed up when I acted like an ass and let you go didn’t I? I’m never going to get you back am I?”
“Clay, I don’t want to lead you on but I just don’t know. My heart really isn’t into it right now. I can’t say if it ever will be.”
“Did you ever love me? Or even have strong feelings for me the whole time we were together?”
“Oh Yeah, of course I did. I cared about you a lot and there at first I could say I was starting to fall for you. But, it ended before it got a chance to even get off the ground. I don’t know what would have happened. Maybe something, maybe nothing. I just can’t answer what could have been.”
“I acted like a complete jerk. I can’t believe I got a hotel room, then got mad at you for not going with me. I really don’t know what got into me.”
Staring out the window he really was sorry, and he has been great friend to me the last couple months. Maybe I should just go with him. Sitting here listening to the music playing on the radio, Gavin pulled in and parked over by the barn, our eyes connecting as he stepped out of the truck. I knew then I couldn’t say yes to Clay. My heart belonged to Gavin so completely. It wouldn’t be fair.
“Madison?” Clay said getting my attention.
“Yes, Clay?” I said looking back at him.
“I haven’t convinced you have I?”
“No, I’m sorry.”
“Well, I’ve got three weeks.”
“No, Clay I don’t want that. I’ll give you the same answer and then you’ll have no one to go with. Why don’t you ask Andrea? She of course thinks you’re hot along with the rest of the student body girls.”
“Don’t you see Madison? I think you’re the total package, by far out shining any of the girls in our school. Or our town for that matter. You are my perfect pick. I want you.”
“I’m sorry. No Clay.”
“Alright. I gave it my best try.” Hanging his head down low.
“Clay don’t act like were not going to be friends anymore. That this is the end because, it’s not. We get along great. Can’t we just be happy with that right now?”
“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to take it since I have no other options. I’d rather have you as a friend than not at all.”
“Thank you.”
“But, that’s for right now.”
“Why is there always a “but” with you. You are so stubborn. Do you always get what you want?” I said poking at his ribs now.
Grabbing my hand and putting it to his lips for a kiss and looking in to my eyes.
“Yes I do.”
“Your insufferable.” I said pulling my hand back reaching for the handle to get out. I knew Gavin was probably somewhere out side, not wanting to hurt him even more. Feeling his hand on my arm.
“No goodbye hug?” He said smiling.
“Really? Fine.” Quickly giving him a hug, he tried to take advantage and tighten the hold, but I was out of the car before he had a chance.
Julia knew why her son had turned every girl down for Prom. She knew who he wanted to go with and that was Madison. She didn’t want her only son to miss his senior prom. So, that week while everyone was at school, or gone, she went into the city and bought Madison a beautiful royal blue dress that she knew would be stunning on her. Hiding it upstairs in the storage room where she knew no one would find it. Oh yeah, they were going together, whether they liked it or not. She didn’t care if she had to make them feel guilty, they were going. Her next order of business was to get everyone out of the house, so William wouldn’t catch wind of it. She really didn’t care what he thought about it. It’s just that she didn’t want to fight him over it. It was exhausting.
Oh God. I thought putting my head down on my study hall desk. Prom was tomorrow and I was so tired of hearing about it. Clay finally gave up and asked some senior cheerleader to go with him. I think her name is Mindy. That tells you how popular he his. When a junior asks a senior to go and she says yes. Rumor has it that she asked Gavin first and he shot her down. I couldn’t understand why he hadn’t said yes to anyone, surely he wasn’t going by himself. The only thing I know was that I was getting dirty looks from her. I don’t think she likes the fact that I live with Gavin, and he turned her down. Top it off, Clay was still giving me rides to and from school instead of picking her up, or going over to her house. I told him he should. But, he only replies that I was his girl first. He’s so stubborn. I’ll add her to the growing list of names that hate me. He let me know this morning if I changed my mind he’d drop Mindy in a second. I should say I was shocked, but not so much.
The next morning Andrea called me excited giving me details of her plans for prom. I could hear Gavin wrestling around in his bedroom. He was in for the day, and I decided to get out of the hallway before I came face to face with him. I had to admit I was jealous because Andrea heard he picked out tuxes with his buddies. After questioning her however, she had no clue who he was going with. She said she asked around and no one knew. I guess he wouldn’t tell anyone. Which only meant he evidently cared about this girl. He was a private person anyways. But, if he didn’t care about this girl he wouldn’t care who knew about it. It made me so sad, and all I wanted to do was go back to bed.
Chapter Eighteen: A Dream Come True
Laying on my stomach on my bed, I had my earphones in, and on low. I could hear Gavin getting ready in the next room and I desperately trying not to pay attention. I thought about peeking out when he left just to see how handsome he was in his tux, knowing that would only make myself feel worse. Lost in thought I suddenly heard a knock on my door. Not even looking up I figured it was Julia so I just hollered for her to come in.
“Hi Maddie.”
Hearing those words come out of his mouth was of course music to my ears. Turning my head I was in shock. He was standing in MY room (something he hasn’t done in a while) wearing a black tux with a royal blue tie on. His hair slicked in a gorgeous style and I knew it. Now I was miserable after seeing him. “You look great. Did you need something?” I asked sitting up on my bed staring at him. Hopeful to have him tell me and get out, because I couldn’t stand to sit here and stare at him looking this way.
“Yeah.” He said nervously with his hands behind his back holding something.
“Well, what is it?” I asked curiously. Surly he didn’t want me to come down and meet his new girlfriend. I would just die. Oh God worse yet everyone was gone maybe he wanted me to take pictures. I’ll die before I do that. I thought to myself. Now feeling the nervous butterflies in my stomach.
“Well, I wanted to ask you something.”
Oh geeze here it comes. Pulling a gorgeous royal blue dress from behind his back . I had to say I was still a little confused. Surly he doesn’t want me to see that girls dress that he’s going with. Walking slowly towards me he laid the dress in my hands.
“Maddie, will you go to the prom with me?” He asked getting down on both of his knees to look at me straight into my eyes.
Shocked, “How? what? How did u get a dress? I’m so confused.” I said wide eyed now staring at him in disbelief.
Laughing, “Mom went and got this for you.”
God how I missed that
laugh. “Why would she do that?”
“She knew how much we both wanted to go, but how we refused everyone so she figured we could go together.”
“Oh Gavin.” I said with tears starting to build. Still not sure if he wanted to go with me or if he was doing it for Julia, but at this point I would take it.
“Please don’t cry baby.” Putting both his hands on my cheeks forcing me to look into his eyes.
“If you don’t want to go, I won’t force you.”
“Are you kidding? Yes. I definitely want to go.” I couldn’t help it. I pulled him in for a huge hug and he felt and smelled so good. I almost forgot what he felt like. “What am I going to do? I don’t have anything else.” I said going from blissful to panicked in 0.2 seconds.
Pulling back from her he couldn’t remember the last time he was this happy. He actually expected being shot down and was ready for it. “Calm down. Your shoes and everything else mom said you needed are down in the bathroom. “Well, are you going to sit there? Or are you going to get ready? It’s almost time.” He said lifting me up and scooting me out the door to get the rest of my things. “I’ll be downstairs in the living room waiting on you.”
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