“So, you didn’t ya know with him?”
“Ya know?” I asked confused.
“No. Oh god. No.”
“Gavin, you are my first.”
“Well, I thought so.”
“Why would u think other wise?”
“I don’t know. I thought maybe one of those times you were lonely and sad and I wasn’t around that you might of turned to Clay.”
“So, what about you? How many girls have you had?”
“Why do you ask how many? Instead of have I?” Staring seriously into my eyes.
“Well, I just assumed.”
“Well, you know what they say what happens when you assume.”
“Yes I know.”
“Maddie, I haven’t been that way completely with another girl. I always felt like there was something stopping. They were never good enough. And they’re definitely not good enough after I met you.”
Smiling I pulled his head in for a kiss. “I love you so much Gavin.”
“I love you to Maddie.” Looking over at the clock it read 11:00.
“It’s getting late. I wish I could sleep with you tonight. Well every night Gavin”
“I know babe I wish it to. We just have to be careful. We have to not get to careless like on Christmas.”
“I know. Please don’t remind me.”
“You know after you left, I felt like a part of me died. I thought I would never see you again. It killed me inside every minute of every hour of every day.”
“I know. I’m sorry Gavin. I thought I was doing the right thing. I saw you that day when you came to Andreas. I wanted to run out and straight into your arms right then. I had to literally hold myself back. I thought I could never feel so sad after my dad died. And I haven’t but, that day was just as painful for me.”
“I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty. I just want you to know that I never want you to leave me like that ever again. Promise me.” Staring deeply into her eyes.
“I promise the only way I will ever leave your side ever again is if someone literally rips me out of your arms.”
“I don’t plan on that happening. I finally have you and I plan on keeping it that way.” Saying with intensity in his eyes. “I have one more question Maddie.”
“Yes?”
“The day I told you that I love you. You said you didn’t. Why?”
“I’m sorry Gavin. I did not mean that at all. I just didn’t want to hurt your relationship with your family particularly your father any more than I already had. I thought I was doing the right thing. I lied through my teeth. I loved you just as much then as I do now.”
“You killed me that day.”
“I know. I really am sorry Gavin.” I couldn’t even look at him at that moment I felt so guilty.
“It’s over with now Maddie. Lets quit talking about all of this. It’s depressing.” Leaning in for a long kiss. Pulling away he sucked in his breath like he was in pain.
“What’s wrong Gavin?” I asked concerned.
“Nothing, I just want you so bad. I want forever. I’m afraid of what’s to come.” Saying now looking out the window.
“I know. I am to.” I said wrapping my arms even tighter around him, afraid to ever let go.
The next morning I was up dressed early looking out the window for Gavin. He was trudging inside from his chores to change for school. He has to much on his shoulders for someone so young. Actually for anyone for that matter. Hearing him come up the stairs I quickly snuck into his room to lay on his bed waiting for him to come in. The door opened and he already had his shirt peeled off damp with sweat, toweling himself.
Looking up “Well, you are the best looking thing I’ve seen all morning.” Instantly cheered with a smile on his face.
“Like wise.” I said enjoying the view. Leaning down he planted a kiss on my lips. I grabbed him wrapping my legs around his back forcing him on top of me.
Laughing out loud. “Maddie are you sure you want to start this.” Asking with a glint in his eyes.
“I just wanted to feel you near me. I miss you already.”
“I miss you every second that your not near me.” He said kissing me again this time deepening it.
“You are absolutely amazing.” Pulling away enough to look at me.
“Nothing compared to you Gavin. I suppose we need to get up and go to school.”
“Yeah, shit! I guess so.” Sensing there was something wrong. “Maddie?”
“Yeah Gavin?”
“Don’t worry. No one will bother you today. I’ll take care of you.”
“I’ll be alright. Besides if your taking care of me all the time, you can’t watch out for yourself.”
“Don’t worry. I can protect both of us.” He said reassuringly.
Pulling into the high school I felt like all the eyes were already on us. Of course I was paranoid. That is until we actually got into the front doors. Then all the eyes really were on us. Andrea ran up to us immediately.
“Madison, how are you? I couldn’t get a hold of you. Gavin’s dad wouldn’t let me talk to either of you.”
Pissed off, “That does not surprise me at all. So what’s up?” Shyly she just stood there unsure to say anything in front of Gavin who was standing over me like a guard dog. “It’s okay Andrea you can say anything in front of Gavin.”
“Well, there is tons of rumors going around that you and Clay are back together and that you slept with him after the Prom. One story being in the bathroom another being outside, another in a classroom.”
My body shook like I had just had a cold bucket of water dump over me. Looking over at Gavin he was standing rigid with clenched fists.
“Then there are other people arguing that it never happened and that you are dating Gavin now.”
“Well, at least that one is closer to the truth.” Not realizing I said it out loud until Andrea shrieked and launched herself in my arms.
“Oh, I’m so happy. You guys are so perfect for each other. I knew it would happen soon. Well, I didn’t know but, I was hoping.” She rambled on as fast as she could.
“Okay, Andrea calm down.” I said trying to calm myself down to.
“Okay, I gotta go! We’ll talk later.” She said running off towards her locker. Looking up at Gavin who had a serious look on his face.
“Oh Gavin, what am I going to do?” I asked almost whining now. “I don’t want people thinking I slept with Clay.”
“Well, there is only one thing we can do.” Grabbing me by the arm and taking me down to his locker which happened to be the busiest hallway in the school.
“Gavin what are we doing? My locker is the other way.”
Not saying a word he stopped in the middle of the hallway close to his locker in a crowd of people locked his arms around me and lifted me up planting the hottest kiss on me. One of anger, passion and frustration. But, for Gavin it completely worked for him. And for one second I forgot where I was. All the world was a blur. That is until he put me back down on the ground and I opened my eyes to find everyone staring at us. Of course my face flushed red.
“I hope that resolves any question about her and Clay.” He said angered out loud to everyone who stood around with there mouths gaping open. Everyone started whispering back and fourth to each other. Grabbing my hand he started walking me away from the crowd when I seen Clay back in the crowd looking unhappy his eyes to the ground. Right then I knew it was him who spread the rumor. I wanted to go over and punch him in his face myself.
“Gavin, your dad is going to find out about this.” I said in a panic while he pulled me along myself running to keep up.
“I don’t give a shit if he does. Don’t worry I’ll make sure he deals with me and not you.” He stomped on with me to my locker. “Get your stuff you need.” He bossed me looking around like he was paranoid about something.
“What’s wrong Gavin? You look worried all of a sudden.”
“Nothing, I’m fine. I just want to make sure you get
to your first class alright.”
“Okay.” I said loading my books into my arms shutting my locker door. Looking up at him giving him the best smile I could muster. Smiling back, I could tell he was worried about something.
“Lets go babe.” He said putting his arm around my shoulder pulling me in close walking me to my first class. Getting to my classroom he pulled me in for a hug and gave me a kiss on the forehead letting me go.
“Find me if you need me Maddie.”
“Okay, but I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” I smiled reassuringly.
“Humor me.”
“Alright.” I said walking away to sit in my seat with people filing in behind me staring at us. Looking back up he was gone and I was relieved and sad all at the same time. The day drug on relentlessly with no end in sight. After every class Gavin was waiting by my locker. “Sweetie, it’s okay, quit worrying so much.” I said leaning up to kiss him. “Everyone knows we’re together now anyways. It’ll be old news by the end of the day.”
“I’m not worried about everyone. I’m worried about a certain one. He’s already shown he couldn’t handle losing you. Then to spread those disgusting rumors. He’s not right. I don’t know why I didn’t see this before about him. After all, Eric is his best friend.”
Looking at him I knew we were up against incredibly bad odds and I wasn’t naive enough to think that we weren’t. He walked me to my next class and every class after that. When the last class was over and I got to my locker I was surprised to find Gavin wasn’t waiting for me. Maybe he just got held up or came to his senses and realize nothing bad was going to happen to me. Pulling down books from the top of my locker my hand slipped and one fell to the ground. Bending over to pick it up a hand touched mine grabbing it for me. Smiling thinking it was Gavin I stood up and stared into the eyes of Clay. “Clay, what are you doing?” Thoroughly tired of seeing his face. “If Gavin sees you here he’ll kill you. I’m not being sarcastic. I think he might actually inflict severe bodily harm upon you Clay.”
“I’m not worried about him.” Leaning in close to me.
“Clay. Please leave.” I said looking around for Gavin.
“No, I don’t think I will.”
“Well, what do you want? And make it quick!”
“I wanted to tell you that you look beautiful. Green always looked gorgeous on you.” He said staring at my shirt then into my eyes.
“What did you think you were doing to me at Prom?”
“I was trying to show you how much I love you Madison.”
“You were not! You.. You.. You were going take me home with you. You realize when you do that against someone’s will that is considered kidnapping.” I whispered.
“Your being ridiculous.” He said grunting to himself. “I would never do that to you. I love you to much.”
“That’s funny. No one that I have ever known would ever do that to someone they loved.”
“I really don’t know what I did wrong. I could tell you were into it. Admit it.”
Almost laughing now, “I was never into it. You’ve gone stark raving mad.” I wanted to yell and scream at him knowing it would do no good at all.
“If Gavin wasn’t in the picture, you would be with me and you know it.”
“Well, Gavin is in the picture and always will be. I love Gavin! Not You!”
“C’mon Madison. Admit it you do have feelings for me.”
“Clay, leave now.” Gavin said walking up behind me staring him down.
“That’s okay. I was done for now anyways. Bye sweetie.” He said giving sweetie emphasis. “I’ll see you soon.” He said smirking and walking off.
“C’mon Maddie.” Gavin said putting his hand on my back steering me down the hall to the front doors.
“Gavin where were you?” I said in utter despair.
“Damn it! The one time I get held up in class he jumps on you. He isn’t going to give up. He’s going to be harder to shake off than I thought.” Angry putting my jacket around my shoulders for me to slip on. Getting to the truck he pulled me across the seat to sit next to him and put his arms around me.
“How are we going to do this Gavin?”
“Hey, I better not be hearing regret in your voice.” Pulling away to look at me.
“Never. I would never. And you?”
“Yeah right. You know the answer to that. Lets get out of here.” Starting the rickety old truck up I sat as close to him as possible.
Looking up at him, “Why so worried Gavin?”
Flashing the best smile he could muster, “I’m okay babe. See smiling?” Giving me an even cheesier grin.
Laughing, “Alright that was convincing.”
“So, why the worried look on your face Maddie?”
“I guess I’m worried William will know about us even before we get home.”
“Your being silly Maddie.”
“Really am I? Cause I think it’s totally possible in this town.” I complained. Wiping the smirk off his face.
“Ya know, not to scare you but your right. That is possible in this town. Shit!”
“What?”
“Now you have me paranoid!”
Laughing, “Sorry.”
“No, but I have a feeling someone is going to try and make us.” He said turning onto our road. Sliding away from him before we got to the house. Looking across the seat at me, “I hate it that you have to do that.” He said grabbing my hand and squeezing it.
“I hate it to. Promise me that it won’t be this way forever Gavin.”
“I promise Maddie.” Winking at me. Getting out we both went into the house where he retreated up to his room to change for chores. I retreated to do homework like so many other days. I was worried that he had to go out and work with William. I was still paranoid about William finding out realizing it was inevitable after today. It wasn’t a matter of if he would find out anymore, it was a matter of when he would find out. And that frankly scared the hell out of me. I knew Gavin was strong. I however, am only seventeen and knew he could get me out of Gavin’s life by what ever means necessary. Gavin and I blew passed all boundaries and there was no going back. Not making love again since that night. Frankly I was scared to again thinking William might catch us. Gavin has been the perfect gentlemen not once pushing me to do anything. He knew I was scared and that I had all these mixed emotions swirling around in me. Not one in doubt of our relationship that wasn’t it at all. I just wanted our next time to be just us, with having any worries of someone walking in. I wanted it to be even more perfect than the first time, if that was possible.
Everyday that has passed I have felt lucky that William was none the wiser about our relationship. Always careful around home, only spending time with each other after everyone went to bed. Always feeling like everyday that we made it through was a tiny miracle. School still sucked in the worse sort of way. Clay hadn’t given up on pursuing me and quit dating any other girls. This worried me even more. Gavin always keeping watch over me without trying to be to obvious. He had managed to thwart any attempts by Clay on trying to talk to me. Knowing it was only a matter of time before he was able to corner me again.
The school days rolled on and waking up one early morning I felt sick to my stomach. Looking over at the clock it read only three in the morning. Moaning, I just wanted to roll over and fall back asleep. But, my rolling stomach had other ideas. Getting out of bed I knocked my lamp over in my attempt to get down stairs really fast. Running down to the second floor I instantly unloaded my stomach in the stool. Trying to be as quiet as possible since aunt Julia’s and Williams room was next door. I could hear William vibrating the walls with his snoring so I knew I was alright. But, it was hard being quiet when my stomach was convulsing violently. Thinking I must have had food poisoning or something I just rested my head on the toilet praying for a fast death. Hearing the bathroom door open I moaned leaning back praying it wasn’t Julia. Gavin walked in, wearing his boxers sleepy eyed. Even as sick as I was I wa
s still thinking how absolutely handsome he is right now.
“Maddie, are you alright?” He whispered leaning down beside me closing the door.
“Gavin, I’m so sick.” I whined trying not to puke again in front of him. But, my stomach wasn’t having it. Leaning over the toilet again I emptied whatever was left in my stomach and started to cry from the horrible nausea and pain. I could feel him holding my hair back and wetting a wash cloth and placing it on my neck and I loved him so much in that moment. What guy would do this in the middle of the night?
“Madison. Babe let’s get you back up to bed.” Lifting me up in his arms.
“Gavin, I feel so sick.”
“I know baby.” He said grabbing the antacid relief on his way out. “You’ll be okay. I’ll take care of you.” Putting me back into bed he placed the wash cloth on my forehead and got my garbage can setting it beside the bed. Curling up behind me he stroked my now sweaty hair out of my face kissing me on the neck singing softly just barely above a whisper into my ear. I remember thinking how soothing his voice was and how surprisingly good he sounded. Not realizing that he could sing at all. Not recognizing the song but, thinking it was beautiful. It was enough to make me fall asleep. A few hours later I woke up again to Gavin getting out of my bed.
“Gavin?”
“Yeah babe?”
“Where are you going?” I asked groggy my throat still throbbing.
“I have to go out and do chores babe. Are you going to be alright? Do you want me to go get mom?”
“No, I feel better. I’ll be alright.”
“I’ll tell her you won’t be down to help with breakfast.” He said sitting on the edge of the bed kissing my forehead looking really sad.
“Are you alright Gavin?” Sighing and looking down at his feet.
“Yeah, I’m alright. It just scares me seeing you like that. I know it’s not the manly thing to feel like, but I hate seeing you that sick.”
“I’m okay Gavin. Really.”
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