No More Birthdays (Carol Ann Baker Crime)

by Pelzer,Lissa

  Lilly stood there looking at herself in the mirror.

  ‘When you get back here…I’ll pay you. Is that what you’re waiting to hear?

  It wasn’t what she was waiting to hear. It made no difference to her. How could she walk into a police station and tell them who she was? They’d want details, name, and address, probably a swab. They might never let her out again. No, she’d just forget that Gary had said anything at all. She was going to try to forget every word out of his mouth.

  She had to go the long way around, walking up a back alley full of dumpsters until she got to the crossroads. She cut across, hugging the wall like she used to do when Davis was in their neighborhood. There was The Plan 8, an old man on a stepladder pulling posters off the window and that guy Thad coming out, pointing into the corner, telling him he’d missed a bit. He moved his weight from one hip to the other, didn’t look like he’d heard the news or maybe he just didn’t care. She got to the park, took off her wedges and got down behind a bush.

  This was the quietest she’d seen the place. She didn’t like it much before, but she liked it even less now. Right now she didn’t need quiet. When the images came, of what might have happened to Moon Face she found herself asking, why didn’t she fight back? She saw The Judge, the hump of his back under the towel bathrobe, one slipper dangling off his foot. She saw blood too. Although there had been no blood while she was there. Some things you just imagined and they became real. False memories, that’s what they called them.

  She was thinking - it was her own damn fault. It was so much easier to process when she thought of it like that. She remembered seeing The Judge, coming towards her with the dildo. She thought about what he had wanted to do with it, where he had wanted to put it. She had stuff in that space already, skin, flesh, blood, organs and ribs. She’d thought, if he puts that in me, I will die. She thought of her own body, disposed of, worthless, a husk of a human. If she’d had let him kill her, would it have been her own fault too?

  ‘Hey!’

  A shadow fell on her and Lilly looked up into the light.

  A girl stood there in a flowery dress with the sun coming through it from behind and she recognized that dress. It had belonged to her once. She got up.

  ‘I got your note,’ Cassandra said.

  ‘Yeah? It was meant for Bobby.’

  ‘I figured that, Honey. And don’t worry. He knows Davis is down there and he has no intentions of standing you up.’

  Lilly pushed herself up off the grass. The sprinklers had been on and her ass was wet. She wiped it down with her hand.

  ‘I heard it all from him. You told him about Davis, huh? That was pretty stupid.’ Cassandra got out her box of cigarettes.

  ‘I told him what I had to. You know. Girls have to look after themselves.’

  ‘Agreed, but I’m taking a risk coming here. I hope you appreciate that and take what I’ve got to tell you pretty seriously.’ She let out a breath of smoke and it filtered up through the trees and out across the park. ‘You’ve got to go,’ she said. ‘I mean it. You’ve got to scram! Nothing good is going to come of sitting here in this park and waiting for Bobby.’

  ‘You mean he can’t get the money?’

  Cassandra laughed.

  ‘Because I saw Bobby last night, after I saw you and we talked about it. There is more to it than you know.’

  ‘I know plenty,’ she snapped. ‘If I were you I’d cut my losses and just go. Don’t make me spell it out to you… You’re no fool. You know what Bobby is capable of.’

  Lilly looked up into her steady hazel eyes. ‘I can’t go back. I need that money too badly.’

  ‘So get a job.’

  ‘And I need my ID.’

  Cassandra turned her hand up towards the trees. She meant, get a man, go stripping and hustling. She didn’t mean, get a job at Subway’s.

  ‘No one ever thinks I’m over eighteen.’

  ‘So go back to Miami where they know who you are.’

  Lilly shook her head. ‘Davis already knows too much. She knows everything. She’s around here somewhere just waiting to take me in.’

  ‘Damn. I wish you wouldn’t say it out loud like that. No wonder you’ve put the fear in Bobby. He’s all shook up, Lilly. I hate to say it, but he’s not thinking right at all.’

  ‘He’s been on the Tylenol twos and threes. I saw it in his eyes.’

  ‘He’s been on everything!’ Cassandra took a drag. The smoke stayed deep inside her lungs and choked her when she spoke. ‘Don’t get in the car with him today.’ She squinted as smoke trickled out past her eye. ‘That’s all I can say. I won’t say anymore.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Didn’t I just say, I was done? That’s it. I heard him talking to some guy on the phone. He said he was going to pick you up and this guy should expect you shortly thereafter.’

  ‘That’s about the money. He needs to get it off of someone.’

  ‘It’s not about the money! There is no money!’

  ‘When his back’s up against the wall – there was money when you got pregnant –’

  ‘I’m not lying to you. This was his last shot. Every penny we had went into this room here.’ She hooked her thumb back. It’s kind of a catch-22 situation. If you hadn’t have come along I’d be off with Terence McCoy already, Bobby would be back in the black and in a few weeks, perhaps there would be money up for discussion…but as it is Lilly, that well is dry. And you’re the reason it’s dry’

  Lilly held up her hand. ‘It’s not dry. I’ve seen money on him and he’s meeting me here at three o’clock and as long as he can get it on credit. I don’t care which well it comes from.’

  ‘There’s no money,’ Cassandra said again. ‘Don’t be a dumbass. Don’t get in that car.’

  Lilly watched the end of her cigarette glowing and heard it crackle. Cassandra had always kind of liked the fact that Bobby was dangerous, had been charged with Murder One. But she hadn’t seen him that night when he got back in the room, his face blanched and his teeth half hanging out of his mouth. It hadn’t been easy for him, not like when he drove past that phone box and shot three times into some guy’s back. He wouldn’t kill her. He couldn’t kill her.

  ‘I have to take the risk,’ she said. ‘I’ve got nothing. I’ve got to try. If Bobby doesn’t give me the money, I might as well be dead. I’m as good as.’

  Cassandra flicked her cigarette away and picked a piece of dirt out from under her nail. ‘You go after Bobby and you’re screwed. You let Davis take you in and you’re screwed –and so is Bobby. What on earth makes you think the latter is in my best interest? I’m saying you need to take a third path.’

  ‘There is no third path and Bobby owes me – ’

  ‘Change the record already! Are you going to spend your whole life trying to get people to give you what you’re owed? Because if you are, you’re not going to get much else done.’

  ‘You can stand there and preach all day for all I care. I’m not leaving. I can’t leave. I don’t have any money! I mean, not even enough to get a bus ticket as far as Atlanta…’

  ‘How is that? Didn’t Davis give you any money?’

  ‘No. I told you. I’m not with her.’

  Cassandra batted her words away like a fly. ‘I don’t mean that, but you did sell her your movie ticket last night, right? You had one. I saw it. And you left and half an hour later she’s in the front three rows sitting next to that guy, Gary Madison.’

  ‘Goes to show how much you know. I sold it to someone else…’ And she thought of Thad and his baggy jeans, his expensive phone. She thought of where Davis was staying.

  ‘I sold it the kid at The Plan 8 Hotel.’

  ‘So where’s the money?’ Cassandra shrugged. ‘You must still have it.’

  ‘It’s gone. I used it to get a room last night. It was late. I could only get a hundred for it.’

  ‘I bet he made a sweet profit out of it.’

  ‘Maybe. I don’t care. T
hat’s his prerogative.’

  ‘What, for having a pair of balls? Come on. Let’s go and get it off him.’

  ‘We can’t. He works at the hotel where Davis is staying.’

  ‘Davis is parked in the lobby of The Colorado Palace.’ Cassandra smirked. ‘She’s watching the elevator door from behind a plant. She’s got her little earplug in listening to the local police radio station, just for fun.’

  ‘So how did you get out?’

  ‘I went through the kitchen. Come on. I only told him I was going out for a coffee.’

  Chapter 18

  ‘What are you waiting for?’ Cassandra asked her when she stopped outside the door to The Plan 8 Hotel.

  ‘You better go in first and check Davis isn’t in there.’

  ‘I just told you, she’s at our hotel and what – You think I’m going to do all this for you? It’s your money. I’m just here for moral support.’

  ‘Okay, fine.’

  ‘So go on.’

  ‘I’m going….’

  Two days ago she could have done this, but things had changed. Thad had seen through her, seen she was no big deal, seen there was no flashy hologram on her.

  There was a pile of luggage in the entrance and Lilly stepped over it.

  Thad was behind the desk. he leaned back in his chair but didn’t say anything. The light from the doorway reflected off his glasses. Lilly glanced back over her shoulder towards Cassandra, lowering herself down onto the couch. It would be a lot easier if she weren’t here. At least then she could pretend to be her.

  ‘About that ticket I sold you…’

  ‘Oh yeah? Have you come about the rest of the money?’

  Lilly squinted. Did he really intend to give her a cut that easily? It seemed unlikely. ‘On deeper consideration, I reckon you got a lot out of it.’

  ‘Yeah, I did. I guess it’s who you know in a place like this.’ And he eyed her up and down. ‘So, you want the rest of your money?’

  She felt Cassandra’s stare on her back. Was she impressed or just as surprised as her? ‘That’s right. I want the rest of the money,’ Lilly said.

  ‘Okay.’ He stood up. ‘So where do you want to do it?’

  And she got what he meant.

  ‘I didn’t come back here to blow you.’

  His mouth went up on one side. ‘Then what?’

  ‘You know what. You got a lot of money for that ticket. You said it wasn’t worth anything and you sold it on.’

  ‘What? If you wanted more money for it, you should have said.’

  ‘I did say. I said I wanted three.’

  ‘You said you wanted three, but you agreed on one fifty. If you were set on three you should have held out. Sorry and everything.’

  She couldn’t take it. She just couldn’t let him make a fool out of her in front of Cassandra.

  And Cassandra knew she was struggling. From the couch she shouted out, ‘She doesn’t want three. She wants five. You got five for it. She wants five.’

  Now he laughed. It wasn’t a nervous laugh. She knew there was nothing she could do to get the money out of him. They could go around all day. All he had to do was say ‘no’ and that was the end of it.

  Lilly rested her purse on the counter, turned it around so it was pointing ninety degrees between them. She would just lift the pug out. Just enough so he could see what it was. She wouldn’t let him humiliate her like this.

  She pulled the zipper towards her.

  ‘Ticket touting is a crime,’ Cassandra called out behind her. ‘She did you a favor in not reporting it.’

  Lilly stopped.

  ‘Now wait a minute. She sold it to me!’ He turned back to Lilly. ‘And you bought it off someone else.’

  ‘I was given it.’

  ‘You still sold it. That’s the illegal part, the selling.’

  Cassandra said, ‘yeah and you sold it too.’

  ‘So what?’ Thad held his hands out. He had a point.

  And something clicked. ‘I didn’t sell it to you,’ Lilly said.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I lost it. I only worked out who found it when that lady who bought it sat down in the theater next to my date and he asked her where she got it from.’

  Thad let his mouth fall open or made it fall open, made it look like that like he was shocked at her unethical behavior but wasn’t worried. ‘Oh yeah, real cool.’

  ‘I’m not trying to be cool, Thad.’

  ‘Real mature.’

  Lilly shrugged and zipped her bag closed.

  ‘Like I care. So come in tomorrow and I’ll give it to you.’

  ‘Just give it to me now.’

  ‘I don’t have it on me. You’re going to have to come back tomorrow.’

  Lilly put her hand to her mouth to suppress the smile of disbelief. It was Bobby all over again.

  ‘Take it out of the register.’

  ‘That’s stealing.’

  ‘That’s what you did yesterday.’

  ‘Fuck you. I sold it to a cop. Okay. How do you like that? You think I’m going to get in trouble for that? You’re wrong.’

  ‘She’s a Miami cop. Her name is Davis.’ Her cheeks warmed as she said it. ‘Actually, I know her. We’re pretty close. She has no jurisdiction here, but she’s a real stickler for the law… You know, right now, she’s sitting across in the lobby of The Colorado Palace, listening to the local police radio. She does that, just waits for the little voice to tell her a crime has been committed somewhere nearby so she can be first on the scene. That’s what she does, on vacation, for fun.’

  ‘So what?’

  Lilly just looked at him, she didn’t say anything and this time the silence worked.

  ‘You’re a fucking bitch,’ he said and opened the cash register, counted out four hundred-dollar-bills and slammed it shut.

  Cassandra lowered her sunglasses onto her nose, stood up and walked out.

  Lilly took the cash, folded it in half and stuck it in the inside pocket of her purse. ‘You’re a lifesaver,’ she said.

  From outside on the street she heard his growl turn into a whimper.

  On the corner, Cassandra lit a cigarette. ‘Don’t take a cab from out front of The Colorado Palace,’ she said.

  She wasn’t going to do that anyway.

  ‘Just get your bag and go down to Denny’s. Ask them to call you a cab to the bus station.’

  Lilly stopped in the street. ‘I can walk from here. I know the way.’

  ‘Okay. So walk.’

  ‘But I’m not going back to Miami.’

  Cassandra pulled her glasses down with one finger. ‘Don’t play with me. You’ve got enough to get back to Miami now. So goddamn go.’

  ‘But, then what? This is basically what it cost me to get here, to do this. It was an investment. With what’s in my pocket now, I’m in the same situation I was in before I even got here.’

  ‘Why on Earth are you even thinking about risking it? What are you going to do once Bobby’s driven you out to the middle of nowhere? It’s not like that time the cab driver took a detour, tried to take us to meet his friends in the cemetery. This is hick-country, outside of this town, there’s no place to run to.’

  Lilly shook her head. ‘I don’t think he would. When it really came down to it.’

  ‘He’s a man in trouble and you put him there.’ Cassandra pulled out her phone. She stopped, seemed to need some more time to think about it. ‘I’m going to give you my new number. When you get back to Miami, you text me your number and we’ll talk. I’ll put you in touch with a couple of gentlemen I know.’

  ‘I don’t want any more gentlemen.’

  ‘You don’t have much choice.’

  ‘You’re asking me to give up what I came here to do.’

  Cassandra pushed a manicured hand through her thick red hair. ‘I didn’t exactly get what I came here for either…’

  ‘So, if he is broke and it is all over like you said, maybe you want to come with me.’
r />   And Cassandra laughed. ‘And do what exactly?’

  ‘We do okay together, don’t we? I’m saying maybe we don’t need to go to Miami, maybe you don’t need Bobby.’

  ‘I don’t need Bobby, but I don’t need you either. No offense.’ And she took a deep breath and held out her phone for Lilly to see the screen. ‘Warning you off getting yourself strangled and dumped in some ditch in the middle of nowhere, is not the same as forgiving you for fucking up my chances with Terence McCoy.’

  Lilly thought about it. Strangled and dumped in a ditch. She wouldn’t know if it happened or not. So what did it matter? Life and all this shit would just go on until it stopped going on. The dead don’t worry about being dead.

  But if Bobby killed her, no one would know. No one would report her missing. At least Moon Face had a bed in a morgue somewhere. Lilly would be covered in flies by tonight, with maggots crawling all over her in three days and then what? She imagined her own face eaten away until it was just pus and bone and hair. Maybe Cassandra had a point.

  Lilly got the numbers down just as Cassandra’s screen went dead.

  She picked off a cab as it went down the street and got out under the same concrete roof she’d arrived under. Her ticket was useless and she handed over cash for a new one before taking her place in a molded plastic seat in the hall. Now she had three hundred dollars to rub between her fingers.

  The waiting room was packed now with hipsters and art fags trying to look tired and dissatisfied. They’d partied too hard and slept too little, but by tomorrow they’d be back in their own beds while she’d asking for couch space somewhere. And after that, she would text Cassandra. She would get the names of those hand-me-down gentlemen she’d mentioned. It wasn’t like she had much choice.

  Lilly closed her eyes and a wave of nausea came over her. The seat she was sitting on bounced as someone sat down next to her and Lilly straightened up and tried not to look like she was about to puke.

  ‘We must have missed each other this morning,’ Davis said. Even now when Davis had her, she couldn’t just talk straight.

  ‘I’m sorry. I guess I overslept.’

  ‘Somehow I missed you on the way down too. I was wondering how, I was at the bus terminal down in Miami…but I didn’t see you.’