by Love, B. T.
“It wasn’t all bad. Hey, I want you to meet these lovely people. This is my buddy Rick and his girlfriend Mary. And this,” he said, nodding in my direction, “is Mary’s best friend Kate.”
“Hi Kate,” James said, extending his hand out to mine.
I slid my hand into his and shook it. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you.”
He smiled at me and we dropped our hands. That was when I noticed his eyes were blue.
“Go grab a beer,” Mark insisted. “The food’s supposed to be ready soon from what Tom said.”
“Yeah, a beer sounds good; I’ve had a long day.” He smiled at me again and went to go get his drink.
“I’ll go grab him a chair,” Mary said in a hurry. She scrambled off to one of the tables and grabbed a spare, bringing it back and setting it right next to me.
“What are you doing?” I whispered through my teeth.
“What do you think I’m doing? I’m putting James next to you so you two can talk.”
“What makes you think he wants to talk to me?”
“Because I saw the way he was looking at you. And I looked at his hand; no wedding ring.”
“My gosh, Mare, you—”
“Hey James, I got you a chair,” she said as he came back to our group.
“Oh, thanks.” He sat down next to me and took a sip of his beer. “They actually have the kind of beer I like,” he said as he turned in his chair to face me.
“That’s your favorite, huh?” I asked.
“Yeah, especially when it’s ice-cold like this.”
“I’m not much of a beer or wine girl.”
“No?”
“Nah, not really. I like the fruity drinks. You know, the really girly stuff.”
“Oh, you’re one of those, huh?” he laughed.
“Absolutely,” I laughed in return. “And I can’t hold much alcohol as it is so I usually only drink one.”
“Ah, a lightweight.”
“Yep. Probably till the day I die.”
“I’m kind of the same way. I don’t like drinking too much. Without fail I always end up with a hangover the next morning.”
“That’s no good,” I said.
“No, it’s not.” He took another drink. “So, do you live here in Lexington?”
“No, I live in Mapleton.”
“Mapleton? That’s kind of a small town.”
“Yeah, it’s on the small side. But I like it there.”
“I can see the appeal to living there. It’s so hectic in this town.”
“You live here?” I asked.
“All my life.”
“And you like it?”
“It’s all I know. But I wouldn’t mind exploring other areas to live. I’m still young enough to be a little adventurous I guess.”
“How old are you?”
“Thirty-five. And you?”
“I’m thirty.”
“Man, you’re the big thirty, huh? How did it feel when you had that birthday?”
I nodded with a laugh of understanding. “I felt old.”
“Yeah, me too,” he agreed with a smile. “I woke up that morning and stared at my ceiling in total disbelief that so much of my life had already passed by.”
“Yeah, totally. I’ve been thirty for six months and I still do that every morning.”
“Food’s ready!” someone called out across the lawn.
“Finally!” Rick groaned next to us.
James and I smiled and stood at the same time. Mary came to my side and linked arms with me, pulling me away to the line that was forming next to the smoking barbecue grill. “You guys seem to be hitting it off,” she said with a grin once we got out of his earshot.
“Yeah, he’s nice to talk to.”
“What were you guys talking about?”
“Just the usual stuff. You know, our age and where we live. Stuff like that.”
She looked over her shoulder at him and then back at me. “Do you notice the way he looks at you?” she asked quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“He watches you so intently as you talk. I think he wants you.”
“Mare, stop it! He’ll hear you!”
“No he won’t; he’s back there talking to his brother.”
“Look, he’s very attractive and he’s really easy to talk to. But I’m not getting my hopes up. He knows nothing about me and nothing about my flaws. I’m sure he’ll run in the opposite direction once he finds out I’m a widow.”
“Enough with the widow talk already. You need to quit labeling yourself as that.”
I grabbed a paper plate and stuck it out to the man at the grill. “Chicken, please.” He plopped on a big tasty-looking piece. “Thanks.”
Mary got hers and came to my side again at the table filled with potato salads and side dishes. “Did you hear what I said?”
“Yes, Mare. I need to quit labeling myself as a widow. But that’s what I am.”
“No, you’re not. You are a single woman. And an attractive one at that.”
I smiled sweetly at her. “Thank you. Now let’s go back and eat.”
We went back to our chairs but I sat in a different one from where I was sitting before. I wanted to give James the chance to sit somewhere else in case he wasn’t really interested in talking to me anymore. To my surprise, he came back with his plate of food and sat next to me.
“Mind if I sit here?” he asked.
“No, not at all.” He sat down and we both took bites of our food. I don’t know why but I was a little nervous eating in front of him. I racked my brain for a question to distract him from what I assumed was horrendously loud chewing on my part. “So James, what’s your last name?”
“Uh,” he replied with a small laugh. “You sure you want to know?”
“Wow, it must be bad,” I laughed back.
“The name itself isn’t bad. It’s Brown.”
“Brown? So your name is James Brown?”
“Yeah. Apparently my parents have a really good sense of humor.”
I almost spit the food out of my mouth. “That is hilarious! James Brown. Wow. You must have been teased so much when you were a kid.”
“When I was a kid? Try now.”
“Well at least he was popular. He had a lot of good hits on the radio back in his time.” I held my fork up to my mouth and giggled against it.
“Go ahead,” he said with amusement. “Get it all out now.”
I laughed loudly into the air. “I’m so sorry; I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I shouldn’t laugh at your name.”
“Nah, it’s okay. You have a pretty laugh.”
“Thank you,” I said as I stifled my outburst, my cheeks glowing red from his compliment.
The corner of his mouth rose and he looked down at his plate. “What’s your last name?”
“Wilder. Well, that’s my married name. My maiden name is Johnson.”
He nodded his head and looked off into the crowd. “Oh, so, you’re married?”
“No, not anymore. I’m a widow.”
His eyes met mine again. “A widow? Man that’s rough. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “He was the love of my life. But it’s been four years and I feel like I’ve grieved long enough.”
“I’m sure you will always grieve.”
“You know,” I sighed, “I think when you love someone as much as I loved him you will always grieve a little bit. But we all have to learn to move on. I believe I can fall deeply in love with someone again. I just need to find that person who will understand what I’ve been through.”
“It’s hard to find that in this world.”
“I agree.”
He finished what was left of the food on his plate and sat it down by his feet. “Well, I’ve been divorced for three years. And I have a ten-year-old son.”
“Oh really? I have an eight-year-old daughter.”
“Oh cool. What’s her name?”
“Hailey.”
“That’s a pret
ty name. My son’s name is Tyler.”
“That’s a nice name.”
He took his phone out of his pocket. “You want to be those parents who pull out pictures of their kids and brag about them?”
“Sure,” I chuckled. “I was waiting for you to ask.”
He smiled and went to a picture of his son. “This is him.”
“Oh, he’s a cutie. He looks just like you.”
“Thanks,” he said, nodding with shyness at my sneaky compliment.
I took my phone out of my purse and went to a picture of Hailey. “Here’s mine.”
He looked down at the screen. “She’s beautiful. Just like her mom.”
My face was burning. “Thank you,” I smiled. I put my phone away and picked my bottle of water up from the grass, taking a long drink. He was making me hot, something I hadn’t felt in four years. He was just so attractive. And he was very easy to talk to. It was as if we had been friends for years.
“Do you want more kids?” he asked.
“Um, maybe one more. My husband and I wanted two and I still feel like I would like to have another if I were to ever get married again. What about you?”
“I feel the same way. Being a dad is one of my greatest accomplishments. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting a little too old though,” he chuckled. “I might have missed the mark to have a second one.”
“Nah, you still have time.”
He smiled. My god he was gorgeous. His face just lit up when he was happy. And he was open to having another kid like I was, not that I was thinking about the beautiful children we could make together . . .
“So,” he continued on, “where do you work?”
“I work at a little bank in my town; it's a small branch. What about you?”
“I’m a police officer.”
His words froze me. “Wow,” I replied with hesitation. “A cop? Here in Lexington?”
“Yep.”
“How long have you been doing it for?”
“Right out of high school. It was my dream job, as cheesy as that sounds.”
“And it’s still your dream job?”
“Yeah, I love it. I wouldn’t want to do anything else.”
I moved my plate from my lap to the grass below, suddenly losing my appetite. I always considered cops to have one of the most dangerous jobs possible. They put themselves in threatening situations on a daily basis. What a bummer that this awesome guy chose that career path. I knew right away it wasn’t going to work between us. “Well,” I cleared my throat, “can I ask you the obvious question?”
“You mean, have I ever been shot?”
“Yes,” I chuckled. “You must get asked that a lot.”
“All the time. And no, I’ve never been shot. And I’ve never shot anyone. I mean, I’ve shot at someone but I missed. That was when I was a lot younger.”
“It takes a big man to admit that you missed,” I said jokingly.
“Hey, I have no problem admitting my mistakes.”
“That’s a good quality in a person.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
I cleared my throat. “You must drive the ladies wild when you put on that uniform.”
“Ha! Yeah some of them. But what really matters is if I drive them wild in my regular attire. Like what I’m wearing now.”
I gave his clothes a once-over. “I definitely approve. You carry yourself well.”
“I carry myself well?” he laughed.
“That sounded dumb,” I chuckled back. “I guess what I meant to say is you look like you take care of yourself. There are so many men out there who look like slobs.”
“Well it’s good to know I’m not one of them.”
“No, you’re not.”
“And just so you know, you carry yourself well . . . as well.”
I laughed and looked down at my lap. Why was this happening? I finally found an attractive man who knew I was a single mother and a widow and he still seemed interested in me. But he just happened to be a cop. It was the cruelest of jokes.
By then end of the night it was time for us all to head home. James and I had talked almost the whole time; we clicked instantly. Everything was perfect with him, except for his job.
I stood up from my chair. “Well James, it was very nice meeting you.”
“Yeah,” he said, standing up next to me. “It was nice meeting you, too.”
“Hey Kate,” Susan cut in. “Sorry to interrupt but I was just wondering if I could get your number. Maybe we can get together for dinner sometime.”
“Yeah, that sounds great.”
She pulled out her phone and I said my number aloud while she entered it into her contacts. “Awesome,” she smiled. “I’ll call you soon.”
“Okay,” I smiled back.
James crossed his arms in front of him. “I have to admit that I fully listened to every digit of your phone number.”
I laughed quietly and dropped my head to the ground. “Oh you did, did you?”
“Yeah. Maybe I can put it in my phone as well?”
I raised my eyes to his. He was waiting for my answer.
“Sure,” I said. “I’m okay with that.”
He took a slight breath as if my reply satisfied him. “Okay then.” He stuck out his hand. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
I gave his hand, which just so happened to be extremely strong and masculine, of course, a pleasant shake and left him with a smile.
* * *
“You gave him your number!” Mary said excitedly as she drove us home.
“Well he overheard my number and he asked if he could put it in his phone. I didn’t necessarily want him to have it.”
“Are you crazy? Why not?”
“Because I found out he’s a cop.”
“A cop?” Rick said. “So what?”
“That’s too much of a dangerous job for me. If I were his girlfriend I would worry about him dying every single day. Losing one man was enough.”
“We could all die at any minute,” Mary said. “I could run us off the road right now and we could all die.”
“Oh that’s comforting,” I laughed.
“Well it’s true.”
“What was wrong with Joe?” Rick cut in.
“Joe?” I scoffed. “Where do I begin? The guy talked about himself the whole time. I can’t believe you actually thought he would be a good match for me.”
“Hey I was just trying to help you out. I really don’t know what kind of a person you could end up hitting it off with.”
“Yeah, I know,” I sighed. “Even though he was a horrible prospect I’m still thankful to you for trying to help me.”
“Well we just want to see you happy. Hey babe, why don’t you tell Kate what Mark told you?”
“Oh, that’s right,” Mary chirped with excitement. “Mark told me that James is usually really shy around women and that everyone he’s ever had a relationship with has come on to him. It was the first time Mark ever seen him talking so openly to a woman he’d just met.”
“Well maybe he’s gay,” I replied, laughing at my own joke.
“Kate,” Mary scolded me, “he’s not gay.”
“Hey you don’t know that. And maybe the fact that he was able to talk so openly to me means that he doesn’t like me then. Maybe I’m just friend material, which is why he seemed so comfortable.”
“Then why did he want your number?”
“I don’t know Mare, because I would make a good friend?”
“Kate,” she scoffed, “I’m tired of this. Just talk to the guy and get to know him. He was so hot . . .”
“Hey,” Rick shot back.
“But not hotter than my man of course,” she quickly recovered, reaching over and giving his shoulder a rub.
I crossed my arms and leaned my head back against the head rest. “He was pretty attractive. And we got along so well. He made me laugh.”
“Sounds like the perfect package,” Mary hummed.
“Well if he
calls me then I’ll talk to him, but just to have some company on the phone. I really don’t see myself dating a cop.”
Three
A couple of days passed since the barbecue and it was Monday night. Much to my surprise I was actually bummed that I hadn’t heard from James yet. I shouldn’t have been down about it though because I knew it most likely wouldn’t work out between us. It was probably just the realization that he had turned me down that hurt. Maybe he really wasn’t interested in me like Mary thought he was.
At the end of the night I tucked Hailey into bed and turned in myself, grabbing my romance novel off of my nightstand and slipping under my thin blankets. I was almost finished with the chapter I was reading when my cell phone buzzed next to me. I picked it up and saw an unknown number on the screen. My heart skipped a beat. Is it him?
I took a deep breath and answered. “Hello?”
“Kate?” a deep voice asked.
“Yeah?”
“This is James.”
“Oh, hi,” I smiled into the phone. “How are you?”
“I’m good. You?”
“I’m good. Just reading a book in bed.”
“Oh. I can call back if it’s a bad time.”
“No, it’s not a bad time at all.”
The line went silent.
“What book are you reading?”
I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned that I was reading. “Um,” I laughed lightly, “it’s a romance novel, actually.”
His deep voice chuckled in my ear. “Oh yeah? Is the guy shirtless on the cover?”
“No,” I lied. “That’s pretty surprising, huh?”
“Yeah I thought that was a requirement for those kinds of books.”
“Apparently not.”
The line went silent again.
“Sorry I didn’t call earlier. I had my son on Sunday and we were spending the day together.”
“Oh, no worries.”
“I was also trying not to seem too desperate by calling you right after getting your number.”
“Oh really?” I laughed. “Well are you desperate?”
“No, not at all. Well, not desperate per say. Just anxious.”
“Anxious?”
“To talk to you again, yeah.”
I closed my book and smiled down at the picture of the shirtless man on the cover. “Well I have to admit that I wanted to talk to you again as well. You’re easy to talk to.”