by Bry Ann
“Something action packed. Not sappy.”
“I know just the thing.” I grin and laugh silently as I dig through my stock of movies, put on the selected film, turn off the lights and sit back down. I wait for Alex to recognize the movie… and 3,2,1…
“THE NOTEBOOK?!” she screeches. “Are you fucking kidding me with this shit? The Notebook Rex. Really? You own this!”
I laugh so hard my stomach hurts. When I eventually catch my breath I turn to her with a teasing grin. “I mean I have it, but it’s not technically mine. A girl I dated left it over here. She was a huge fan. She never took it back.”
It’s like the air gets sucked out of the room. All Alex’s anger and jokes die in an instant as her eyes go flat.
“Oh,” she says flatly and turns back to the movie.
I feel my jaw tighten, but decide to drop the issue for now and watch the movie. Well, I try to watch the movie, but I'm way more preoccupied with the tension in Alex’s shoulders and the stick straight, closed off way she is sitting. We are about ten minutes in when Alex scoots over and curls herself into me. I am so surprised by the action it takes me a minute to react, but I relax quickly and stroke her hair. A soft moan escapes her lips and just like that all the urges I’ve tried to suppress come roaring back to life. I’m a guy after all and Alex is hot as shit. Not just physically. It’s everything about her. How strong, yet vulnerable she is. The tattoos she wears on her skin like armour. The fierceness in which she protects her friends… and her dignity. Everything about her appeals to me. Always has.
Alex notices my growing hard on, and smirks against the skin on my arm.
“The notebook makes you horny?” she tesases.
“Fuck. No. Alex. You moaning when I touch you and wearing skimpy little shorts around here 24 hours a day makes me horny.”
She freezes as the Notebook’s corny ass lines play behind us. “You still find me … attractive? You know, after all your girlfriends and all.”
She tries to save herself with her tone, but I hear it. She’s jealous. Holy shit, Alex is jealous of me. I want to laugh at the irony, but I know I can’t. I'm pretty sure if I did Alex would take her stupid pride and stomp right out of my apartment.
“Are you jealous Alex?” I ask softly, trying to hide my smirk.
She shoots back. “I’m not jealous of you! That’s insane. Besides I left you remember? Why would I be jealous? That’s insane. Geez, you have an ego. Gosh…”
She was honest to God still rambling when I cut her off by roughly grabbing her back and pulling her into me. I kiss her roughly, claiming her, stopping the terribly pathetic, pissed off rambling she was feeding me. She grabs the back of my neck and pulls me closer to her, releasing a small whimper when our bodies connect. She falls back on the couch as I quickly remove my shirt. She follows suit, just as fearless as I’ve always known her to be. I softly kiss down her abdomen. I feel the muscles of her core clench, not used to the gentle contact, but she doesn’t push me away. I glance up at her to make sure she’s okay and, yeah, she is, despite the tension in her body. I gently removed her skimpy little shorts and listen as she releases a strained breath. My gaze snaps up to hers.
“You okay?”
She nodsa little frantically. “Rex, I need you. No, messing around just…” She looks so vulnerable and small. It’s sometimes easy to forget with all Alex’s bravado that she’s just a young woman. She’s looking at me like she thinks I’ll turn her down while she’s virtually naked on my couch. That’d never happen. I would never do that to someone, let alone Alex Ray. I quickly cage her face in with my arms and kiss her on the nose.
“This is what you want?”
“Yes. Please.”
Her voice is soft and gentle. Alex becomes softer, more feminine when we are intimate. It’s the way she is. The vulnerability makes her quieter and I can’t tell if I love it or hate it. Still. I sit up and quickly removed my shorts and boxer-briefs. I need inside her. I need to feel her. It’s been way too damn long. I position myself on top of her. Her naked body against mine. I slide my hand along her body, ready to feel her. Her breasts in my palm. Her clit as she comes around my fingers. Everything. Until my hand finds its way to her body, and I feel how hard she is shaking. Those thoughts vanish in an instant.
“Alex, you are shaking.”
“I just…” she bites her lower lip and looks at me, there’s so much fear behind her eyes, “I can’t lose you again Rex. I can’t.”
A tears slips down her cheek. She lets out a frustrated sound and quickly wipes it.
“Alex!” I tighten my grip on her hips, as rage, vengeance and determination take over my body. “You will not lose me again. I swear it.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep Rex.”
“I can keep this one, and Alex, we don’t have to do this because you feel like you’ll lose me if you don’t.”
She snorts and stares at me incredulously. “I’m no virgin or stranger to sex Rex.”
I try to shake that thought out my head, but I feel myself stiffen. “I know, but it’s different with me. You know it is.”
“No. No. It’s not.” She shakes her head, desperately trying wishing that that wasn’t true. It being true means she has something to lose. “It’s the same. It’s all the same!”
Her wall is going back up. I feel it like an invisible barrier between us. Everything about her shifts. Her words become harsher as slips into denial. Her once stiff, nervous body relaxes to the point of not caring. I could hurt her and she wouldn’t care or probably even feel it. I'm human, not a machine. This version of Alex scares me. I can’t reach her like this. I can’t go through this again with her. I just can’t. I lower down inside her the slightest bit, desperate to reach her. She gasps and grabs onto my shoulders.
“You asshole,” she grits out in a breath… and just like that I feel her come back to me. “What happened to we don’t have to do this and all that crap.”
“Well, judging by how wet you are I figured I was good.”
“You asshole!” she swats at me, but she’s smiling. It’s like the lights come come back on in the room. She knows I would never do anything to hurt her, not unless I was 100% sure she wanted it physically and emotionally. I was 100% sure about this. Her hands once again find my shoulders, and I slowly push inside her. She sighs heavily as I started to fill her. No matter how many girls I’ve slept with over the years, which admittedly hasn’t been that many, none of them have been Alex. There’s a connection, a spark, when I'm with her, and when I'm not everything about the act of sex just feels meaningless. I love her vulnerability mixed with her desire for control. Her quiet, and sometimes no so quiet, strength. However, what I love most about her, during sex, is I love how she always instinctively reaches for me when she’s feeling too much. I really fucking love it. I love the way she needs me around, whether she wants to admit it or not. It is obvious. Her mind and body call for me just as much as mine call for hers.
“What do you want Alex?”
“I’m game for anything,” she answers softly.
I slowly started to move inside her. She tightens her grip on my shoulders. I can fuck her any day. Today, our first time in years, I need to show her love, compassion. Has she felt that at all since we’ve been apart? Or has it been years of putting an a show for the world, knowing nobody truly knows you and if they did it could cost you your freedom?
The slower I move the harder she holds onto me. Like she’s trying to get release there verses fully letting go. She’s shaking. I can feel her clenching around me cock, but refusing to let go.
“Let go Alex,” I half whisper/half growl in her ear as the tension builds inside me. I kiss her lips and buck once hard inside of her. She gasps, holding my shoulders with wildly shaking hands.
“You are just doing this because I hate slow. I hate this.”
She is trying so hard to hold onto the inevitable.
“You don’t hate this. You’re scared sw
eetie. There’s a difference.”
Alex closes her eyes tightly and I stop moving. “Rex, have you been serious about anyone else? Someone… other than me.”
I immediately pull out of her, which is awful for both of us, but this has to be dealt with or she’ll continue to fight this. I’d take care of her later. This had to be put to rest now. I all but throw her shirt on her and pull her onto my lap.
“No. Of course not Alex. I’ve done what you’ve probably done. I’ve had meaningless sex with a bunch of people who meant jack shit to me.”
She tucks her head into my shoulder, still slightly tense from getting her body all worked up with no release. “You promise me?”
I turn her to face me. “Yes sweetie. I promise you. I wouldn’t lie to you. Not about this.”
I'm ready to carry her off so we finish what we started when her phone starts ringing off the hook. She sighs, but crawls off me to pick up.
“Alex,” she answers curtly, as always. Soon after that ever so friendly greeting Alex and whoever is on the phone are in a full on girl conversation. I sit back on the couch, hard as hell, and try to think through everything. Soon my phone beeps, alerting me to a text. I pull out my phone and instantly stiffen when I see who it was.
Call me when you are alone. - Gunner
I looked over at Alex. I have to get her out of here. I won’t be able to focus on anything, and I do mean anything, knowing Gunner is waiting for my call, knowing what the purpose for his call is. The universe seems to be on my side because less than ten minutes later Alex walks over, looking hesitant.
“Sam’s gonna be here in like two minutes to pick me up. She’s adopting up a kid tomorrow. She needs me. She’s a mess. Going through all the self doubt shit. I have to go.”
Alex’s blatant loyalty to Sam still shocks me. Alex has never been outright loyal to anyone. It is interesting to see how she’s changed, all the ways this strange friendship has changed her. They have a bond I can’t explain. I don’t think even they could explain it, but it was so strong I know Sam would die for Alex and Alex would do the same for Sam without a second thought.
I nod at Alex, secretly feeling relieved. “If your friend needs you then you should go.”
I see her turn to the door with her bag still slung over her shoulder. Before she walks out of my condo she turns back to me.
“We’ll finish what we started. The sex, conversation, all of it?”
I smile softly at her. “Of course.”
“Okay,” she says curtly, but I see the relief in her eyes. “I’ll see you soon Rex Carter.”
I smirk as she walks out of the apartment. She’s always had a thing for my full name. I don’t know why. It makes me sound like the dorky kid next door, but I think that’s why she says it. I think she misses the past. Our times together as kids were safe for her.
I wait a few minutes after she’s gone to make sure she didn’t forget anything. When I'm sure she’s not coming back I pick up my phone and click Gunner’s number. It takes all of five seconds for me to go from gentle to furious. The familiar thirst for vengeance is back. I didn’t have a violent, vengeful bone in my body until Mia’s death and my mom’s kidnapping. After that I understood anger. I understood the desire to seek vengeance. The only thing that stopped me from going all out crazy was my mom and the boys I mentored. Now with Alex back in the picture and all the new revelations that has brought, my desire to avenge my sister, mom, and now Alex, is nearly impossible to control. At least Gunner is out there and not me. If I went out half cocked I’m pretty sure Mia would come back from the dead and kill me herself.
Beep. Beep. Beep. The sound of my fingers hitting Gunner’s contact rings throughout the room.
The phone doesn’t even ring once before Gunner picks it up.
Chapter 3 (Gunner):
Yes, I have a plan. I always do. The problem. No one, and I do mean, no one is going to like this plan. I am not naive. I don’t have the resources or frankly the talent to take down a man like Pytor with the amount of power and men he has under him. What I do have, what I’ve always had, is my smarts and my ability to focus under immense pressure. My ability to put aside the opinion of others. This situation, however, is a little more complicated. Since this involves my girl’s friend. Almost everything major move I make will get back to her, and this plan I have is enough to send Dana over the edge. She will not approve, but she doesn’t understand this is the only way. I’ve gone over it one hundred times in my head. I'm not a fucking superhero. I'm one man. Given that, this is the only plan that will not get us all killed. Hopefully.
Now I have to break it to Anatoli and Tobias. Tobias, psh, he’ll have no problem with it. I am a little worried about Anatoli’s reaction though.
“You’re not going to like the plan,” I warn sternly, looking directly at Anatoli. Then I turn to Tobias. “However, you both know this is not a normal situation and normal tactics do not apply here. We have to get creative.”
“I’m getting impatient,” Anatoli snaps.
“To get Pytor we have to make him think he won. That’s the only way a man like him will let his guard down.” I see Anatoli’s eyes narrow suspiciously. Tobias cocks an eyebrow, curious and seemingly impressed. “Bottom line, he’s needs to take someone. It’d be controlled, but that’s when he’d let his guard down. When he thinks he’s hurting Alex.”
“You want us to let him take Alex again! You are out of your fucking mind. She’ll lose it. She won’t be able to endure it again. I’m fucking serious Gunner.”
“It doesn’t necessarily have to be Alex.”
Tobias busts out laughing. “Wow. Your reputation precedes you. You’d really let him take one of your little posy. Your woman would kill you.”
“You don’t think I know that!” I snap. “She’s going to fucking kill me. I don’t want anyone I associate with to get fucking taken! I can’t think of another way, and this guy has to get fucking taken down. This dude Rex has lost enough. I need to make sure Alex and her friends are safe and then I can go home. We’ll make sure no serious, lasting damage comes to whoever it is that goes.”
Tobias just laughs. He really is a sick fuck. He’s enjoying having me around, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.
“You two are fucking sick in the head! I mean I’m not a saint, but good God. You want to let that man take a woman so he thinks we won? What the hell? Can’t he take me. It’s not like I'm not high on his shit list.”
I cock an eyebrow. I knew Anatoli was the softer of the two, but I wasn’t exactly counting on his strong moral compass.
“He’ll just kill you,” I say regretfully. “That won’t help us. We are doing this so we can get him to let his guard down that way we can move in after… the person who takes him shoots him. She’ll have a gun. We go in after she weakens him.”
“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?” Anatoli bellows, but Tobias quickly shushes him and looks at me intently.
“It’s not a bad plan. He’s got too many men. If we go in alone. We’ll all die. No question. Even if we did a surprise ambush. So that said. Who’s he gonna take? Are we gonna tell them?”
Anatoli lets out a loud disapproving scoff. Even I scoff a little. “Of course I’m gonna tell them. I’m not gonna fucking let him take a woman without telling her what we are up to.”
“And how else would she get a gun and know to shoot him.”
I laugh at his sick as shit mind. “Yeah that too.”
“So who’s he gonna take?” Anatoli asks, his voice low. Then he winces. “Who does Alex know?”
“Only her and Sam. The rest are guys. She only cares about one of them, but he’s not going in. No question. Pytor isn’t as slow with men. He’d die quicker, we’d have less time, and if we lost this guy we might as well kill Alex. She wouldn’t survive it.”
“So Sam’s your girl?” Tobias smirks.
“I didn’t include my girl on that list,” I seeth. “She is not getting taken. That is not
up for debate.”
“You know if I ever have something against you, you’ve told me exactly how to get to you.”
I step up right in his face. “If you hurt my woman I will end you. You will see first hand how I got my reputation.”
I hear Anatoli literally growl and roughly push us away. “I’m teetering on the edge of killing one of you as it is so don’t freaking piss me off right now!”
We both step away. Tobias smirks and I realize he’s just playing with me. He enjoys knowing my weakness, just like the guys from Occidere did. I shutter a bit. I know I’m being overly defensive, because, one, it’s Dana. Two, I don’t trust Tobias. I don’t trust him at all. It’s clear he’s controlled because he is around Anatoli, who he for some reason listens to. I’d be scared to know what made him who he is and what would happen if went off on his own.
“So Alex is only friends with two females?”
“Does that surprise you? Besides these girls are extremely close. Sam is practically Alex’s sister. They lived together for a while. Alex helped raise Sam’s baby.”
Both men look shocked. “She did?!”
“Yeah.”
“So Sam then,” Tobias shrugs.
“I thought of Sam first too. She’s strong. I worked with her for a short while, actually. The problem is she got taken by a group of drug dealers I was affiliated with back in the day. They tortured her, and I do mean tortured her. They beat the ever living shit out of her with a stick, raped her, they destroyed this girl. She made it out physically and mentally for the most part, but she is riddled with scars and still has bad nightmares. I don’t want something to happen to her and she can’t recover from it. She doesn’t deserve that shit.”
“That just leaves your girl and Alex.”
“No that just leaves Alex because my girl is staying out of this fucking shit.”
Anatoli looks at me seriously. “All the macho shit aside. Do you honestly believe we can keep her safe if we do this? Do you honestly think she’ll survive it? Is this really the only way?”
I sigh heavily and look them both in the eye showing them how much I mean what I am about to say. “I honestly believe this is the only way. In fact, I know it is. You know it is. I do think she’ll survive it. She’ll struggle. Relapse in bad habits, but she will survive it a hell of a lot more than if we put one of her friends in there. She’d die of guilt. Plus, she has Rex. That dude can see Alex through anything I’m beginning to believe. He knows her freaky well. I’ve never seen anyone handle her insanity or calm her like he can. With him, yeah, she’ll be good. We can keep her safe. We will plan. I will keep Rex in the loop. He’ll be key to pulling this off. We’ll tell Sam soon enough. We will run through several plans and scenarios. We’ll keep her safe. I’ll be sure of it. I’ve learned in my life that planning, calm and intelligence is the best weapon you can have.”