Grinder (Seattle Sharks Book 1)

by Samantha Whiskey

  Smack! A rogue shot hit the boards in front of us, successfully drawing me back to the present. Lettie flinched in my arms but nothing compared to the jump I’d had. This game—knowing that it was Adkins out there against Gage—had me on edge and I felt like a coiled spring ready to pop.

  Gage shredded the ice, checking a player against the boards so hard he dropped his stick, giving Rory the opening to take aim at the goalie.

  Normally I wouldn’t have so much as looked at the other players, but today I couldn’t keep my eyes off number seventeen on the opposing team—Adkins. The blood flushing my skin boiled every time he skated within an inch of Gage—the image of the day he’d been injured flashing on repeat in my mind like a bad replay on ESPN. I’d been there, home for Thanksgiving, holding Lettie’s tiny hand while I sat Gage’s mom, watching in horror as they’d carried him off the ice. Add to that the recovery, the hurt both physically and emotionally he’d had to deal with during that time, and I was ready to pass Lettie off to Grammy who sat next to us, breach the ice, and shove Adkins’ stick up his ass for all the wrong he’d done.

  Instead, I took deep, steadying breaths. Adkins had played nice this entire game, and Gage didn’t need me to fight his battles for him, but, by his own admission, he did need me. And that had made me happier than I knew was possible.

  Rory controlled the puck again, gliding on the ice quick as lightning, and shot. The puck flew past the goalie and sunk into the net behind him, bringing the Sharks in the lead 2-1.

  “Whoohoo! Uncle Rory!” Lettie clapped, grinning from ear to ear as she looked from the ice and back to me. I rubbed her back, cheering with her until the smile slipped from her face.

  “Lettie, baby what’s wrong?” I asked, following her gaze behind me.

  Bitch. Now my nerves sizzled. “Helen,” I whispered as I set eyes on the undeniably gorgeous blonde. She was taking the benches one at a time, navigating to the Shark-dominated side to get to us. Her progression was slow, due to the ridiculous stilettos she wore that made my French-Maid costume ones look like kitten heels. The thought took me back to the near-lethal birthday present she’d tried to give Lettie, and I found myself kissing Lettie’s forehead without thinking.

  “How about you show Grammy where we get the hot chocolate?” I asked her, looking at Sue who had zeroed in on Helen as well. Lettie nodded quickly, hugging my neck before grabbing Grammy’s hand and tugging her toward the concessions outside of the rink.

  I clutched my hands into fists and kept my eyes on the ice, forcing myself to breathe.

  “You didn’t have to send her running, Bailey.” Helen’s voice was a razor on an exposed nerve.

  I cut my eyes away from Gage, skating ahead of an opponent to gain the upper position. “Shouldn’t you be on the other side?” I pointed to the sea of white and red. “Supporting your husband?”

  She sank down beside me, her heels clicking against the metal. “I can see him just fine from here.”

  “What do you want, Helen?” I had no time to play games with this woman. The same woman who had somehow walked away from the only man I’d ever loved and simultaneously abandoned the most incredible little girl I’d ever met.

  “Meow. I haven’t been here two seconds and you’re already catty?”

  “You must bring it out in people.”

  She shook her head, flipping her silky blonde hair over her shoulder.

  “You’re right.” I sighed, rethinking my actions. If not for this woman, Lettie would not exist. I would try and remember that every time she opened her gold-digging mouth. “Are you here to return the papers you took from Gage? Because that would be really big of you, and I’d be more than happy to sing your graces to him after we kick the shit out of Ontario.”

  She sucked her teeth and snorted out a laugh. “Oh, Bailey, I’m sure there are plenty of things you’d be happy to do to Gage after the game.”

  Heat flushed my cheeks and I sharpened my gaze on where Adkins skated just a little too close to Gage for my comfort. I could be the better woman here. I didn’t need to get nasty, or insecure. Be the better woman.

  “Not that I blame you. I mean, I’ve been there…or rather, he’s been here.”

  I glanced at her where she held her hand against her chest and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. She knew nothing of love. Gage had never been a part of her heart, and Lettie damn sure wasn’t either.

  “Of course, I managed to earn his attention much faster than you did. I mean, honestly, what did it take…twenty years for him to see you as anything other than an annoying little girl? A sexless friend?”

  I swallowed hard, my breath hitching as Gage got entangled against the boards with another player.

  “Same old Gage. He lives for that tight pressure against the boards. You know, if I remember correctly, that’s how we got Scarlett.”

  Bile rose in the back of my throat—not at the image she painted, though that soured my stomach for sure—but at her use of the word we. “Funny, I don’t remember Scarlett ever truly belonging to you.”

  “I’m her mother.” She scoffed.

  “What’s her favorite movie?” I held her gaze, challenging her.

  “Frozen?”

  I shook my head. “You’re only her mother in name. You have no clue who she is, what makes her laugh, cry, sing, or settle down. You didn’t even know that cat you brought could have killed her. Come on, Helen. Admit it. You didn’t want her then, and you don’t want her now. You’re only doing this because you get some sort of sick pleasure torturing Gage.”

  “You’ll never replace me.”

  Despite knowing that, her words still stung every inch of my skin.

  I knew I’d never be Lettie’s mother, never be the one who had felt her move and grow inside me…but she’d grown in my heart until we were so connected I could sense when her moods shifted, when her thoughts drifted to the darkness of her mother’s abandonment, when she worried about her daddy, and when she cried out of anger instead of sadness.

  “No. I won’t. But you’ll never know your daughter like I do.”

  Helen flinched as if I’d smacked her. The emotion quickly passed, instantly replaced with the venom I was more accustomed to. “You’re pathetic, Bailey. Why don’t you go get a family of your own, instead of trying to steal mine?”

  And the gloves come off.

  “Hard to steal what you left abandoned and alone.” My fingers trembled from the rising adrenaline pumping in my blood. The boys on the ice raced against the ticking clock, trying desperately to get another goal in before the half, and the more Helen spoke, the more I wanted to throat punch her.

  “Keep telling yourself that,” she said. “Keep assuring yourself you belong with them. But realize, whenever you look at her, you’ll see me. She’s got my lips. My ears. And she without a doubt has my smile. She’ll never be yours. No matter what you do.”

  Tears filled the backs of my eyes, making the players scrambling on the ice become shiny around the edges. I sucked in a sharp breath, steeling myself against her words.

  “Exactly,” she said, standing up with her hand clutched around her purse. “Like I said, pathetic. I just pray it doesn’t rub off on Scarlett, but seeing her reaction to me yesterday at her party…I fear it may already have.”

  That’s it, bitch. One second I was sitting, the next I was a centimeter from her face, the fans behind us yelling for us to sit down. “Say whatever you want about me but don’t you dare utter one negative thing about Lettie or I will make sure you never do again.”

  She arched a perfectly tweezed eyebrow at me. “Really, nanny? What are you going to do?”

  “I—“

  The crowd collectively gasped around us almost in synchronization with a loud crunch and smack against the board nearest us, the sound killing my words. My heart lurched and my stomach dropped. I hadn’t seen it but I’d fucking felt it.

  “Gage,” I whispered, my feet moving before my mind caught up. I hit the floor, my
Chucks squeaking on the ground as I rushed to the glass, looking down through the partition.

  Adkins was on top of Gage on the ice. Before I could blink Warren hurled him in the opposite direction. The ref’s whistles blew in the distance, barely heard over the all out brawl which broke out a few feet away from where Gage remained, flattened on the ice, his face turned up in sheer agony.

  I pressed my hands against the partition, my heart stalling as he moved to grip his shoulder when the paramedics hefted him to cart him off the ice. Fuck!

  I glanced at the stadium before bolting out the doors, racing toward the locker room entrance. I made it there in a blink, jerking on the locked double doors. A water boy opened one of them a crack.

  “I need to see him!” I said, barely able to catch my breath.

  “You’re not allowed back here.” The kid wasn’t more than seventeen and I pressed my lips together, thankful beyond belief that Lettie was with Gage’s mom and didn’t have to see this.

  “Forgive me,” I said, shoving past him and stomping into the locker room. Sweat and musk assaulted my senses, the temperature at least ten degrees warmer in here than it had been in the rink. My heart raced as I made my way to the back.

  “Gage,” I said, gasping a full breath when I finally set eyes on him stretched out on a table, three men surrounding him.

  “Ma’am you’ll have to wait outside,” Mr. Denning, the Shark’s physical therapist said as I approached Gage’s free side.

  “I told her that!” The waterboy shouted behind me from where I’d left him near the door.

  “She’s fine, Carl,” Gage said to Denning, the strained tone of his voice not lost on my ears. He winced as one of the men poked and tugged on his arm.

  I remained silent but took his free hand. They had him shirtless, and while he was glorious to look at, I could only see the pain on his face. The way his eyes clenched as each man took their turn at trying to rotate his arm, or pushed against his shoulder blade with their knuckles.

  “Did she see?” He asked through gritted teeth.

  “No.” I shook my head and squeezed his hand. “She’s with your mother, getting spoiled with treats I’m sure.”

  “Good.” He leaned his head back against the table as they laid him down, working over him and muttering things in hushed tones I couldn’t make out.

  The skin around the scars from his surgery was already turning from angry-red to depressing-purple and the rage I’d had while speaking with Helen amplified to an all-time high. I trembled, the tears I’d felt evaporating from the heat of adrenaline and the desire to murder Adkins with my bare hands.

  Another part of me calculated the odds of Gage recovering fully from another surgery, how long he would be benched, and if he’d keep his spot this time. I wondered how to help him heal properly, and what it would mean if he never got to play again. The worry consumed me as I watched him lay there, flinching and wincing, all the while trying to conceal the pain from the people inspecting him.

  He couldn’t hide it from me though, or the fear that coated his eyes, his thoughts no doubt pouring over exactly what I had been.

  Please don’t let it be torn again.

  Denning gently helped Gage to a sitting position. “Your rotator cuff took another bad hit, but it’s not ripped or shattered. My guess is bruised. We should get you to the hospital and do an x-ray to be certain. I don’t want to take any chances with you. Not after the last time.”

  I breathed out a sigh of relief. If it wasn’t torn or broken we could recover from it. Quickly.

  “You saying I can’t go finish this game?” Gage asked, a smirk on his pained face.

  Denning shook his head, motioning toward the other two men, who quickly shuffled out of the room. “That’s exactly what I’m saying, McPherson.”

  “How long?” Gage asked.

  “Not sure yet. Have to see what comes back on the x-rays. Optimistically? You’ll only be out a game.”

  “And worst case?” Gage’s voice had crystallized with ice.

  A shadow crossed over Denning’s eyes and the floor tilted beneath me.

  “Let’s not think about that until we know what’s going on in there.” Denning pointed toward the door. “I’m going to relay to coach and then I’ll ride over in the ambulance with you.”

  Gage nodded, sweat dripping off his scrunched forehead as Denning left the room.

  I let go of him and grabbed a fresh towel from the counter across the room, soaking it in cold water from the sink before returning to his side. I dabbed at his forehead before sliding the cool cloth over the back of his neck, trying my best not to look at the purple dusting over the back of his shoulder.

  “It was a clean hit,” Gage said after a few moments of silence.

  “I didn’t see. I was…”

  “What?”

  “It’s not important.” I sighed, thinking about Helen was the last thing he needed right now. “You mean to say this hit wasn’t intentional?”

  He shook his head and hissed. “Intentional, sure. But not dirty. Still love to beat his ass, though.”

  “Me too.” I chuckled softly, slipping the cloth along his spine. “Don’t worry, Gage. Everything will be fine. It doesn’t even look that bad.” I swallowed the lie that tasted bitter in my mouth.

  “Hey,” he said, and I dropped the cloth, returning my focus to his face. “You know you can’t lie to me, Bailey.” He took my chin in his good hand.

  I shrugged. “I’ve seen worse. You’ll be fine. I know it.”

  He pressed his lips together, the doubt in his eyes creeping to the surface.

  “Don’t,” I said, and then touched my lips to his with a soft pressure, trailing the tip of my tongue along the edges of his mouth. I slipped my fingers into his sweaty hair, touching him as much as I dared without jarring him. His tongue met mine and he groaned as I traced the ridges of his abs lightly with my fingertips, stopping only when they rested above the outline of his hard cock. “See?” I pulled back from him a few inches, looking from his heated gaze and down. “You couldn’t manage that if it was anything serious.”

  He laughed, but a wince cut it short. “God, Bailey. You are one hell of a woman. A tease, but damn, I’m glad you’re here.”

  I bit my bottom lip, letting my eyes linger hungrily as I trailed his body up and down. “It’s only a tease if I have no intention of delivering.” I leaned closer to him, just close enough for my breasts to brush his chest. “And I have every intention of delivering…once you’re up to it.”

  “Well, if that isn’t the best motivation to suck it up, I don’t know what is.” Gage smiled, and though it wasn’t the full-blast one I was used to, it was more than I could’ve asked for given the terrifying situation.

  Still, he was sitting on his own, without writhing in pain, and he had the capability to make my panties wet with that damn mouth of his. These facts made hope pulse in my chest—this would not break him, not again.

  “Ambulance is here,” Denning said, re-entering the room. I stepped a few feet away from Gage, my cheeks flushing.

  “I’ll go check on Lettie. You want us to meet you at the hospital?” I asked.

  “No,” Gage said so instantly that I flinched. “Shit. I mean, I don’t want her there, okay? No need to worry her before we know anything, right?”

  I nodded. “Right. I’ll just take her home.”

  He reached out with his good hand, and I took it. “Our home.”

  My heart swelled in my chest, beating hard at his declaration, but it quickly frosted over when the paramedics brought the gurney in.

  “Seriously assholes? I can walk,” Gage said, swinging his legs over the table and standing up.

  “Please get on the gurney, Mr. McPherson. We don’t want any sudden movements to aggravate the injury.”

  Gage looked like Lettie when I forced her to brush her teeth when she didn’t want to. I half expected him to stomp his foot, but instead, he climbed onto the gurney and settled
against it.

  “What’s the score?” He asked as they wheeled him out of the room.

  I collapsed on one of the wooden benches next to me the second the doors swung closed. The fear I’d barely held back took full advantage of me now and I allowed myself these few moments of weakness before I had to return to Lettie.

  I wasn’t scared of Gage being benched for another season because hockey was only a tiny part of the reason why I loved him. I would love him if he dug ditches or flipped burgers for a living. What terrified me is how he would take it if he lost this shot—this second chance we weren’t even sure he was going to get in the first place. Because hockey—outside of Lettie—was his life. It’s all he’d known; all he’d ever wanted to do since we were kids.

  Without it? I didn’t know who it would turn Gage into, and I prayed I’d be strong enough to help heal him if he was forced to plan a life where hockey wasn’t on the menu.

  Chapter 13

  Gage

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Bailey asked me as Lettie explored the inner workings of Minnie Mouse’s kitchen. Hey, there had to be some perks to traveling with the team, and as far as perks went, Disneyland was a pretty good one. We’d spent all day here, and it showed on Lettie. Her pigtails were slightly disheveled under her Mickey’s sorcerer's hat, her cheeks were flushed, and there was still chocolate ice cream on the corners of her constant smile.

  “Gage?” Bailey prompted.

  “I’m fine,” I promised her for the tenth time, lightly rolling my shoulder. There was a hell of a bruise along my upper arm—the pads had taken most of the impact—but the joint wasn’t as tender as it had been a few days ago.

  “I just worry,” she said, leaning her head onto my good shoulder.

  I kissed her hairline. “I know, and I’m not playing tonight.”

  The rookie was starting in my place tonight, and though it chapped my ass, I knew it was for the best. One week of rest was exactly what the joint needed. The rest of me wasn’t too happy, though.

  “I can keep you busy,” she said, leaning up on her tiptoes to brush her lips against my jaw.