Give In

by Layla Frost

  “It’s nice to meet you, too.” There was a hint of surprise in his raised brows and curiosity as he met my eyes, but there was nothing skeezy or salacious about it, which already put the job a million steps above my previous one.

  He even released my hand at an appropriate time, boosting it to a million and one steps.

  Prosecutor Rivera picked up the iPad and scrolled through. “Did Min explain the job?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  He shot me an easy smile. “Call me Dave.”

  “Eden says you’re going to win,” Min told him.

  “At least someone has faith in me.”

  She shrugged, unrepentant. “I’m pragmatic.” Standing, she tapped the screen. “And it’s not faith. She did her research.”

  He looked back at the screen and nodded. “JaQuay, our IT manager, will set you up with a laptop and a phone. There will be a small stipend in each paycheck to help cover your Wi-Fi. Meetings are every Monday morning at seven, but you can Skype in. Get the paperwork filled out today, and you can start next week.” He held out a hand which I took out of years of training rather than conscious thought. “It was nice meeting you. I look forward to having you on my campaign team.”

  I have a job.

  A real one that doesn’t involve booze or boobs.

  One that apparently includes a new cell and laptop, taking those roadblocks out of the way without me having to dip into my savings.

  I can’t wait to tell Damien.

  *******

  Moving on autopilot, I barely remembered the drive to school. I was floating on air, a happy little cloud drifting straight to Damien. Usually I would stick with our system of ignoring each other until he got home, but he had a faculty dinner after work, and I was too excited to wait.

  I was ready to shout my good news when I turned the corner and saw him standing outside his office.

  But he wasn’t alone.

  Shit, that could’ve been bad.

  Not missing a step, I continued walking as though I was just passing by.

  “Miss Wilder, a moment.”

  Uh oh.

  I stopped and turned to face Damien and Brooks. “Yes?”

  Damien’s expression was professionally blank. “Mr. Crosby will be out the remainder of the week. Would you mind emailing him your notes and the assignments?”

  Wait, what?

  I got a good job. Damien wants me to talk to Brooks.

  I’ve entered The Upside Down.

  Smiling at Brooks, I nodded. “No problem. Hope everything’s okay.”

  “It’s good, I’m just going out of town,” he said. “I was gonna ask you about the notes in class, so thanks.”

  Ready to quit while I was ahead, I turned and nearly slammed into Professor Peters. “Oof, sorry.”

  “My fault,” he said, stopping to join our group.

  Throw some confetti, it’s an awkward party.

  I took a few discreet steps back but froze when Professor Peters looked at Brooks and me. “Sorry, I know you’re probably wanting to get as much time with him as you can before he leaves, but I need Caine for a few minutes.”

  Before he leaves?

  What?

  “Ben—” Damien started, his voice tight, but Peters kept talking.

  “Are the students as upset as we are about losing Caine? Not that we blame him—hard to turn down that kind opportunity.”

  No. Okay. But really…

  What?

  “And if it goes well, you’ll be able to tell people the new governor’s Chief of Staff was your professor.”

  My eyes flew to Damien’s. I wanted to see confusion or amusement as he explained the misunderstanding.

  But I knew I wouldn’t.

  His expression was locked down, cold and calm in a way I hadn’t seen since before we were us. “Ben, I haven’t told,” he glanced at me, his mask slipping for just a millisecond to show his regret, “my students yet.”

  Peters grimaced. “Sorry, I thought you’d announced it. I’m sure they’ll respect your privacy and keep this between us.”

  ‘The new governor’s Chief of Staff.’

  My new boss’ Chief of Staff.

  Would that make him my boss, too?

  I saw red.

  I’d always thought that was a figure of speech, but as my temper erupted, I literally saw red.

  That asshole.

  I physically shook with anger, my jaw clenched hard enough to hurt. “Of course,” I gritted out, “I’m good with a secret.”

  An arm wrapped around me, but I was too pissed to let it sink in how out of place it was. “C’mon, babe,” Brooks said. “Let’s get you some coffee before class.”

  Clinging to my last shred of decorum, I let Brooks lead me away.

  More surprisingly, Damien let him, too.

  I stayed silent, too busy with my rage to even think of an excuse for it.

  Apparently one wasn’t needed because after Brooks mollified me with a massive cup of coffee topped with extra whipped, he surmised, “So… You and Caine, huh?”

  “No, that’s… I… It’s this whole—”

  “I knew.”

  My brows shot up and my mouth dropped open. Lead filled my stomach, churning and heavy as bile rose. “What?”

  He shrugged. “More like assumed.”

  We were so careful.

  Well, I was. Mostly.

  Shit.

  I wonder who else knows?

  My first instinct was to deny, deny, deny, but by that point, it would be insulting to him. “How?”

  He tapped the cup. “I saw a whipped cream topped iced coffee in Caine’s office. Then you had one in class. Could’ve been a coincidence, but…” He shrugged again.

  God, so stupid.

  Thinking about what I’d been doing when he’d seen the coffee made my cheeks burn… and not entirely from guilt and shame.

  I’m the worst.

  “I’m the worst,” I admitted, giving voice to the mantra in my head.

  “You’re great with a secret.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh, though it came out like a sob.

  His smile faded as he turned me to face him. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.” He paused for a second before looking livid. “Is it okay? Because if you didn’t want to… I mean, if this was—”

  “No!” I shook my head. “No, nothing like that.”

  “If he used his authority to tell you what to do, that’s just as bad.”

  Not if I’m into that kinda thing.

  Patting his shoulder, I promised, “It was consensual. Stupid, but consensually stupid.”

  He relaxed. “Okay, good.”

  I lifted my straw to my mouth but stopped, not even trying to choke any down.

  “Wow,” he said, likely trying to lighten the mood. “The impossible has happened. Eden doesn’t want coffee. Alert Guinness.”

  “The beer or the world record people?”

  “I think the beer would probably be more useful to you right now.” Nudging me with his shoulder, Brooks shot me his boyish smile. “I’m great with secrets, too.”

  “Like who you’ve been dating?”

  He laughed. “Okay, maybe not so great. Her name is Alice, she’s a freshman. A couple of the brothers like to give shit about dating freshman, so we’ve kept it pretty lowkey until we see if there’s something there.”

  “Is there?”

  “I’m going to Michigan to meet her family this week. They’re doing Thanksgiving a week late because her dad had to work. That’s why I’ll be out.” He pulled out his cell and showed me a picture of the two of them. She was cute as hell and he looked happy.

  Needing to confirm it, I asked, “Are you happy?”

  He smiled. “Very. You?”

  I didn’t have to think, my answer coming just as quick as his had. “Very.” I paused before amending, “The last hour notwithstanding.”

  “What was Peters talking about?”

  “Your guess is as good as
mine. Better, I bet.”

  “Only one way to find out.”

  My curiosity was usually a driving force behind my bad decision. But not right then.

  Hooking my thumb over my shoulder, I said, “Actually, I think I’m going to duck out early today.”

  “You sure you’re okay?”

  I nodded. “I don’t have my game face on, and not everyone is as good with secrets as we are.”

  “True.” He pulled me in for a quick hug. “Call me if you need to. And, seriously, I won’t tell anyone. Not even Alice.”

  God, he’s such a great guy.

  Blinking back tears, I whispered, “Thanks. And thanks for playing it up back there to cover for me.”

  He waved away my gratitude. His brows lowered for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. “It makes sense.”

  “What does?”

  “You and… him. I can see it. Not saying it’s not surprising, but the more I think about it, the more I get it.” There was another boyish smile as he pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Unless he fucked it up, then fuck that dude.”

  That’s how I got into this mess.

  After saying bye to Brooks, I started walking to my car. My phone dinged when I got outside.

  DC: Come to my office.

  I contemplated ignoring him, but knowing Damien, he wouldn’t be put off. He’d walk out of class, and he wouldn’t be discreet about it.

  Me: Can’t.

  DC: Come to my office, or we’ll have this discussion in the middle of class.

  I stopped and thought about how my mind would run wild all day. How I’d dream up scenarios further and further from the truth until I was a tangled mess of anxiety. At least if I talked to Damien, I’d know what to obsess about.

  Me: Be right there.

  Backtracking, I walked to his office, hoping for everyone’s sake he was alone because I wasn’t sure how much civility I had left. Thankfully, he was.

  “Congrats on the new job,” I said once we were closed inside.

  “Eden—”

  “Nice of you to get one for me, too.” Bitterness filled me. “What? You wanted a new job but didn’t want to lose out on office blowjobs, so you orchestrated a way for me to work under you? Pun intended.”

  “I took the damn job for us.”

  “How so?”

  Ignoring my question, a smirk pulled at his lips, but the muscle in his jaw ticked with his anger. “And are you implying I knew you’d go through my private emails, read one about an internship, and then delete it, thereby guaranteeing you were the only student to apply.”

  Wincing, guilt hit me harder than it had that night. “I thought you called in a favor after the fact. I didn’t realize you knew about the email.”

  “Of course I knew. The only reason it was even there was because I wanted you to see it.” He took a step toward me, but I stepped back. Hurt slashed across his features, but I stayed strong.

  My voice shook when I said, “You lied to me. Manipulated me. Kept secrets.”

  Huh, sounds just like you.

  What’s that saying?

  What goes around comes around to kick you in the junk and break your heart.

  “Are you expecting me to deny it? I told you from the beginning I was a controlling bastard.” Crossing his arms over his broad chest, he asked, “If I’d told you about the internship, would you have gone for it? Or would you have twisted it into me getting you a job because I wanted office head?”

  His words hit like a blow, landing with enough accuracy to steal some of the fire from my temper.

  “I did what I had to do to take care of you.” Shoving his fingers through his hair, he added, “But that doesn’t include getting you the job. I recommended you. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not happy we’ll be working together, but I didn’t pull strings.”

  Reeling from it all, I stood silent for a minute, trying to get my head on straight.

  “Tell me I’m wrong.” Moving into my space, Damien gripped my chin and angled my face up. A challenge burned in his midnight eyes. “Tell me you wouldn’t have turned down the offer. You wouldn’t have twisted it. Tell me I didn’t take care of you, and I’ll move heaven and fucking earth to make it right.”

  My answer sat on the tip of my tongue, filling my mouth with the acrid taste of a lie. But even after so many lies so easily spilled, I couldn’t push it out.

  Damien read my truth in my silence. His lips crashed down on mine, his tongue pushing in to invade my mouth the same way he’d invaded my life.

  Completely.

  Destructively.

  Leaving me bereft and lost when he pulled away.

  He cupped my cheek, his thumb dragging across my bottom lip.

  “We’re late for class,” I whispered, blinking back unexpected tears.

  “We’ll skip and head to the bookstore to get you one of the shirtless guy books, and then spend the day in bed.”

  I shook my head. “It’ll be fine. I’m going to get cleaned up then I’ll be right there.”

  His eyes searched mine before he kissed me again, soft and sweet. He dropped his hand and stepped away, albeit grudgingly.

  Maybe he’d read my intention before I’d known it was there, because when I got into the hallway, I didn’t turn toward the bathroom or class.

  I turned toward the door.

  When I was outside, I pulled my phone out.

  Me: Heading home. Not feeling well.

  DC: I’m canceling classes. I’ll be home in 40.

  Me: I’m going to MY home, not yours.

  DC: Go ahead. I’ll be there in 20 to bring you home.

  Even pissed, my stomach flipped at his words.

  Me: No. I need time.

  DC: Talk to me.

  Me: Time alone.

  I was in my car by the time he responded.

  DC: Be alone at my place. I’ll stay and be home at my usual time.

  I was tempted. He was the monster I’d created, so him bending even a little was big.

  Just not big enough.

  Me: I need more time than that. Plus, you have your dinner tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.

  DC: Swear to God, Eden, I’ve showed up at your place before. What makes you think I won’t do it now?

  And a big fuck you to you.

  My phone dinged a few minutes later.

  DC: Go to my place. I’ll work then go to that damn dinner so you have time alone.

  DC: I’m not spending a night without you, Eden.

  I knew he’d bent as far as he would, but it was enough.

  For then, at least.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  * * *

  Broken

  Damien

  “I hear you’re leaving us.”

  Hell.

  The gossip train had been running at full speed, and the night was only halfway done. Cocktail hour in the outdated hotel lounge had stretched to two before people had finally meandered to the other event room for the meeting. Thanks to everyone’s incessant talking just so they could hear their own voices, they’d had to break for dinner. The second half of the meeting was supposed to have started ten minutes before, but everyone was still grouped by the bar.

  My notice was in. I was done. I didn’t give a shit about future events, procedures, or board of director changeups.

  The only reason I’d agreed to be there in the first place was because Ben had asked. The only reason I was still there was because Eden had asked for time, and though it was killing me to give it to her, I was trying to.

  I’d figured at least the meeting would offer a distraction, but I’d spent the entire time fielding the same questions.

  Yes, I was looking forward to something new.

  Yes, I’d miss teaching.

  No, I didn’t know who was getting my parking spot or office.

  No, I had no interest in going out for drinks with your group or alone.

  Forcing a smile, I lifted my glass to my lips and nodded a
t the older man who was vaguely familiar, though he wasn’t in my department.

  His eyes were glossy as he drained his own glass before lifting it in a toast. “Good for you for getting out while you can. They’re too busy on the Snaps and the Tinder to care about learning. Who can blame them? What they’d look like as a dog is more interesting than the building blocks of our entire humanity.” He tried to take another drink, only to find it empty. Looking down at it morosely, he muttered, “They’ll suck you dry.”

  There’s only one student who does that, and I love it.

  “Only if you’re lucky,” I murmured.

  “Whaaaa?”

  “Nothing. I think some people are heading to the bar across the way when the meeting wraps.” I pointed out Ceaders. “He’s got the details. Enjoy the night.”

  Without another word, I turned and walked to the bar.

  It’d killed to not message Eden throughout the day. Getting in my car and going to the stupid faculty dinner had been worse. I was losing my damn mind being away from her, but I’d pushed her enough.

  Maybe too much.

  The bartender had just handed me a new beer when my phone vibrated.

  Mine: Come home.

  It vibrated a few more times, all in quick succession.

  Mine: Or don’t.

  Mine: You’re busy, I’m sorry.

  Mine: Ignore me.

  I put my phone back in my pocket, set the untouched drink down, and headed home to Eden.

  Parking behind her car, I got out, not bothering to grab my stuff or the mail. All that mattered was getting to her. Walking in, I expected to see her on the couch with a book she’d grabbed to hide the fact she’d been pacing.

  The living room was empty.

  The lights upstairs were out, too.

  I was about to go check if she was asleep when I saw the light from the kitchen.

  Approaching quietly, I lost my breath.

  My heart.

  My fucking soul.

  I loved lifting Eden onto the kitchen island, having her close to kiss or eat or touch whenever I felt like. Mostly, I loved the little mischievous smile she always had when she sat there, like she was breaking a rule.

  She didn’t look like that right then.

  Lying on the regular counter, her knees were bent and one of my tees rode up her thighs. Her halo of hair was wild around her, a wine glass in her hand.