Dane

by Leddy Harper

  Her body stiffened and I was pretty sure she’d quit breathing. “That’s a horrible idea, Dane.”

  I couldn’t disagree with her…but I didn’t think the idea was horrible. “I just hate the thought of not having you next to me when I’m in bed. This is too comfortable to give up.”

  “There’s this thing couples do called staying over at each other’s places. We don’t have to move in together to share a bed at night.”

  “But then I can’t take care of you.”

  She wrangled out of my hold and turned to face me. “I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m perfectly capable of providing for myself. I won’t allow myself to be dependent on anyone else ever again.” Her eyes softened when she placed her hand on my shoulder and shifted until our bodies were closer. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t be together.”

  I wanted to be everything for her. It didn’t make any sense, but I did. Maybe it was because I was so used to being responsible for someone else that I didn’t know what to do if I wasn’t. I was used to going home after work and having someone be there. Even if Gabi was depressed most of the time, I knew I wasn’t going home to an empty place. The thought of being alone didn’t bother me. What bothered me was not going home to Eden. Knowing she’d be at her place and I’d be at mine. I didn’t want to be that far away from her.

  “We can split the bills right down the middle. That way it won’t be a one-way street, but I’ll still get to see you every day and sleep with you every night. You can’t leave my office and expect me to be okay only seeing you a few nights a week. I can’t go from eight hours a day, Monday through Friday, to dinners and a few sleepovers.”

  As she spoke, she gently caressed my skin with the tips of her fingers. “After my last breakup, I swore I wouldn’t live with someone else again until I was married. And it’s way too early to talk about that. So let’s just keep things the way they are, and we’ll figure the rest out. Normal people don’t leave their fiancée, go home with their assistant, and then move in together all in one day.”

  My grandmother always told me you’d know when you find the right person. She said she just knew when she met my grandfather that he was the one. It really didn’t make any sense to me until Eden. I thought Gabi was the one. I tried desperately to believe that, but spending five seconds with Eden made me question everything, and I suddenly understood what Grans was talking about. I knew I’d marry Eden. And for the first time in my life, the thought of waiting burned a hole in my chest.

  “I just don’t want to spend a night without you,” I pleaded, hoping I’d wear her down.

  “I think you’ve been in a relationship for too long and you don’t know how to be by yourself. That’s what scares me, if I’m being honest.” She licked her lips and glanced down at her fingers, mindlessly scratching my jaw. “Actually, if I’m really being honest, the thought has crossed my mind that you’re using me as a replacement for Gabi. I’m worried that during this transitional time in her life, I’m filling a void, occupying a space that rightfully belongs to her.”

  I leaned away and regarded her as if I could draw out the answers to my unasked questions without either of us ever speaking a word. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

  “No, Dane, I’m not. You told me yesterday how you’d made up your mind on the way home from Texas. You got home and you were going to leave her. But then she picked a fight and you ended up staying. In that same conversation, you tried to convince me—and probably yourself—that it was the right decision. Less than twenty-four hours later, you come to work with a bag packed after walking out on her. I get why you did it. I’m not saying I blame you. But look at this from my perspective. You didn’t want to be with me enough to leave. And now that you’ve finally ended things—not because you chose to, but because of something she did—now you want me. I know that’s not what happened. I can see it in your eyes, and I’ve always seen it when you look at me…but it makes me feel like I wasn’t chosen. Like had you not found out she’d lied, you wouldn’t be here. You’d still be with her. And now that you’re not, you came to me…the placeholder.”

  I leaned into her, slightly hovering with my face so close to hers I could feel her exhales on my chin. “Listen, Eden…I need you to understand—”

  “No.” She covered my lips with her fingers, cutting me off. “I do understand. I know the situation you were in and the reasons for your choices. I get it. I also know the way you look at me…the way you make me feel when I’m around you. I see the smile on your face when we’re together and the absence of light in your eyes when you talk about her. Trust me…I do understand. But even though I know the truth, it doesn’t make me feel any better.”

  “What would make you feel better?”

  “Time. That’s it. Day by day, just prove to me you’re not going anywhere.”

  “That’s what I’m trying to do, Eden. But you won’t let me.”

  “Shacking up together doesn’t prove you won’t leave. You were living with Gabi, yet you walked out the door this morning. I lived with my ex, but that didn’t stop him from kicking me out and moving in his new girl. We can ease into this, Dane. It would be best for everyone involved.”

  I nodded, realizing what she meant. Wanting to live with her was selfish. It was nothing more than me craving to be with her every day, regardless of how ridiculous that idea was. Eden needed proof, so that’s what I’d give her. I’d give her time and show her with actions what she meant to me.

  “I’m sorry.” I kissed her forehead and settled into the mattress with my arm slung over her hip. “I’ve never been an impatient person. My whole life has been about business—offering what I have to those who could benefit from it, while taking pleasure in knowing I was able to help. It was the same with Gabi. I honestly don’t remember the last time I had a personal life. One that didn’t involve business decisions. I’m not used to sitting back and waiting for things to happen.”

  “That’s not true. You sat back and waited for Gabi to come around.”

  I hated that she saw my relationship that way. Because that’s not how I saw it. “Actually, Gabi was more like the pot of water that refused to boil. So figuratively speaking, I put her on the back burner while I went on with business. Yes, I did wait for her to come around, but I continued to live. Even if it was mundane and played on repeat. I woke up, went to work to put out fires, and then went home to clean up messes. I kept to myself and survived the only way I knew how.”

  “That sounds lonely.” Her voice was soft and sad.

  I didn’t want her to be sad. “It was, but ever since I met you, I haven’t been. You brought me back to life, Eden. It’s like I had flatlined, and now that I’m awake and can appreciate each day, I want to live every one to the fullest. I don’t want to waste a day without you. I know you think I’m insane for wanting to ‘shack up’ with you and you think it’s too early or rushed or that I’m doing it because I’m not used to being alone. But that’s not true. It’s because I finally feel alive and have a deep desire to live.”

  She giggled and it was music to my ears. “Well, if we’re going with the ‘back from the dead’ metaphor… No one can wake up after being in a coma for a decade, hop out of bed, and then run a marathon. You need to learn to walk again. So think of this period as you adjusting to life. I’m still here, Dane. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to lock me down for fear I won’t last. Don’t hold onto me like I’m your last hope—just hold my hand and we’ll take nice, slow steps until we’re ready for that marathon.”

  “Slow steps?” I laughed and ran my hand over her bare ass.

  “From here on out,” she said and rolled her eyes. “No moving in together anytime soon, and definitely no diamond rings or chapels or little pink plus signs. Okay?”

  I drew her leg over my hip, my erection flush with her folds. “Well, if we’re taking a water break at the sex station, then I might as well get my fill.” I wagged my brows at her, making her giggl
e.

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me on top of her. “Fill ‘er up, Dane.”

  I dropped my face to the crook of her neck and laughed, our bodies shaking with humor. “You’re right…you’re not very quick-witted.”

  16

  Waking up with Eden in my arms was surreal. It was better than any dream I’d ever had of her, and the best night of sleep I’d had in forever.

  Before kissing me, Eden excused herself to the bathroom. I used the time to get dressed and check my phone. I’d left it in the pocket of my work pants when we changed for the beach last night, and it was on vibrate. So if anyone had called, I wouldn’t have known.

  I had several missed calls from Gabi, and she’d left one voice message. There were other missed calls from a local number around one this morning, but no messages were left. I assumed Gabi had gone to a hotel or something and used the phone from there to try to get ahold of me. I didn’t want to listen to her message, but just because I’d walked out on her didn’t mean I no longer cared about her well-being.

  So I listened.

  I made it about halfway through, hearing her cry and beg me to come back to talk, before I deleted it. It was enough to know she wasn’t in danger, but I didn’t care to hear the rest. Eden came out of the bathroom with a robe covering her body as I set my phone on the charger.

  “Everything okay?”

  I glanced at her and immediately felt the weight vanish. My cheeks burned with the smile taking hold of my lips, and I knew it was all because of her. “How in the world do you know when something is off? Do I scowl or something?”

  Her eyes flitted around the room while a faint blush colored her cheeks. “No. I can’t explain it…it’s just in your demeanor. Like you’re quiet or something.” She shook her head, shrugged a little, and smiled. “I don’t know, Dane. But tell me, what’s going on?”

  I pressed my lips to her forehead and moved toward the bathroom with my bag in hand. “It’s nothing. I was just checking my voicemail.”

  Understanding softened her gaze. “Gabi? Is she okay?”

  Eden amazed me. Even now, after everything, she still worried about Gabi—maybe she worried about how it affected me, but still, it was concern nonetheless. “Yes. She’s fine. She left a message, crying about needing to talk, and I deleted it. Now, enough of her for the remainder of the weekend.”

  We both got dressed and went for a walk on the beach. It was hot and crowded, so we didn’t last long before heading back up. Eden offered to make sandwiches for lunch, but I wanted to take her out. In the end, we settled on take-out to eat on the couch while watching a movie.

  I grabbed my phone from the charger to order food and noticed more missed calls from a local number, but still no messages. I shook it off, assuming it was Gabi calling again in the hopes I’d answer. But as soon as I went to look up menus, my phone vibrated in my hand. Another local number, similar to the others.

  Against my better judgment, I answered.

  “May I speak with Dane Kauffmann, please?” a woman with a soft tone asked.

  I cleared my throat, instantly nervous, and said, “This is Dane.”

  “Hi, Dane, my name is Tricia McDonald, and I’m with Southwest Regional Hospital. I’m calling about a patient, Gabriella Rios, who has you listed as her emergency contact. At this time, I’m unable to discuss any information with you over the phone, but if you can come down, we can fill you in.”

  I ran my hand over my face and groaned inwardly. As soon as she said she was from the hospital, I knew it was Gabi, and deep down, I struggled with what to do. I couldn’t help but believe this was just another cry for help to get me to listen to her. When it came to Gabi, I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I opened my eyes and found Eden standing in the doorway to her bedroom, watching me with sad eyes.

  “How serious is it?” I asked while holding Eden’s stare.

  “We’ve stabilized her, but we can’t do anything else without authorization and insurance information. We need you to come here in order to discuss the incident and treatment options in person before we can do anything else.”

  “Is this life or death?” I knew my words sounded cold, callous, but I couldn’t help it. Gabi had strung me along for years with a lie. It’d been one attention-grabbing situation after another, and I couldn’t help but think it’d all been fabricated. Everything. I didn’t want to go running to her like I had done for more than ten years of my life, but at the same time, I struggled with completely turning my back on her.

  “Well, sir…it was touch and go there for a bit, and right now we do have her stabilized, but this is an urgent matter.”

  “I’m only asking because Gabi and I are no longer together. Her next of kin would be her mother. Not me. Have you tried to get ahold of her?”

  There was a pause of hesitation before she said, “We actually don’t have that information on file. Should we look into finding someone else to contact?”

  Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, I sighed and dropped my head into my hand. “No. I’ll be there.”

  When I disconnected the call, Eden sat next to me and put her arm around my shoulder, offering the kind of comfort I needed. “What’s going on? Who was on the phone?”

  “That was the hospital. Gabi’s there.”

  She gasped, but didn’t waste any time questioning it. “What happened to her?”

  “I don’t know. They said they couldn’t discuss it over the phone and I have to go down there to authorize treatment. I’m assuming she took pills or something, but I have no idea.”

  “Do you need me to go with you?”

  I turned my head to the side to look at her. I knew this was something I had to take care of on my own, but the simple fact she’d offered to support me, to be there for me, was more than I could bear. No one had done that for me since Gabi when my grandmother died, and I didn’t realize how badly I’d needed the offer until now. “No, but I appreciate you asking. More than you know, Eden. It really means a lot that you’d be there for me.”

  She tried to smile, but it fell flat. “I’m always here for you, Dane.”

  I cleared the emotion from my throat and stood. “I’m going to try to get ahold of her mom first, but if I can’t reach her, I’ll have to go to the hospital. I don’t know how long I’ll be, but I’ll be back.” I leaned over and pressed my lips to her forehead. “Nothing’s going to take this weekend away from us.”

  The only number I had for Gabi’s mom was disconnected. There was no telling how old the number was, considering it’d been years since I had any reason to contact her. In a last-ditch attempt to reach her, I called Janette and asked if she could locate her for me, or at least find a working number.

  Within five minutes, she returned my call with an address.

  It was on the way to the hospital, so I left Eden’s apartment and swung by the address Janette had provided, hoping Gabi’s mom would be home. As much as I wanted to help Gabi, I refused to let her drag me back down to the depths of despair I’d only just begun to climb out of.

  She needed help.

  But it didn’t have to come from me.

  My heart raced, pounding against my sternum as I pulled into the driveway. I had no idea what I was about to walk into, but I knew I couldn’t back down. This was Gabi’s mother. At some point, she’d have to start acting like one. They had problems and Marie had a lot to do with Gabi’s depression, but at some point, I had to wash my hands of them both. If that meant pushing her in Gabi’s direction now, then that was what I had to do.

  The front door opened slowly after only knocking once. The woman in front of me looked nothing like I remembered. Marie was always put together, never a hair out of place. This version paled in comparison. She wore her hair in an unruly bun, slightly greasy as if she hadn’t washed it in a few days. Glasses sat low on the bridge of her nose, yet they did nothing to hide the dark bags beneath her eyes. It made me wonder if this was what Gabi would look like
in twenty years.

  “Dane…” Her eyes widened in surprise, but worry shone bright. “What’s going on? Is everything okay? Where’s Gabriella?”

  “That’s actually why I’m here. She’s in the hospital, and I think you should be the one to go take care of it.” I winced as I finished my sentence, realizing how cruel and emotionless I sounded.

  “The hospital? Why? What happened to her?” Marie quickly stepped outside, frantic over the news. At least she was concerned for her daughter, despite the years of distance and avoidance.

  “I don’t know. I just got the call about half an hour ago. I’m assuming she tried to hurt herself again, but I don’t know for sure.”

  “Why don’t you know? Why haven’t you been there? She doesn’t need to be alone, Dane!”

  I took a step away, unable to deal with a lecture from her of all people. “We’re not together anymore. It’s not my job to coddle her when she does things like this for attention.”

  “How can you be so heartless? She loves you! She needs you!”

  “No.” My voice was so deep I barely recognized it. I leaned into her and pointed my finger in her face, doing all I could to rein in my temper. “She needs help. Help I can’t give her. I think it’s about time you deal with whatever it is you’ve got going on, whatever has kept you two apart all these years, and go be there for your daughter.”

  “I have tried, Dane!” She raised her voice, but it didn’t hide the pain in her tone. Nor did it stop the tears from filling her eyes. “She wants nothing to do with me, and I can’t blame her. I put other things before her when she was young, thinking it was for the best, but it wasn’t. It all fell to pieces, and in the end, I was left with nothing but regret.”

  I held my hand up to stop her. “This is between the two of you. Not me. I’m not a part of this anymore. I only came here to let you know she’s in the hospital and needs next of kin to give them permission to continue treatment. She needs it.”

  “You know, don’t you?” Tears fell in waves down her cheeks, and instantly, I understood what she meant. “Did she tell you?”