Chasing Shadows

by Rebbeca Stoddard

  Sebastian turned off the light, and I lit the candles with a long match, going clockwise. The first step was to smear our blood on the black rose and drop it into the bowl while saying, “This is the rose of death, and with our blood we push it back.” Next was the luna moth. “This will bring the wings of life to your door, if only for a while more.” We smeared more blood then moved on to the bumblebee. “The sting of life and energy will be renewed.” I dropped the bee in after smearing it with more of our blood. Then we smeared blood on the white oak and lit it in the flame of a white candle. We used the flame from the stick to light the smudge sticks and the feather to fan their essence into the bowl. Carefully, I dropped the white oak and smudge sticks into the bowl and watched as everything caught on fire and slowly burned. Taking the dagger from the table once more, I sliced my hand and grasped her hair. Sebastian did the same and dropped it into the bowl. “When this is burnt to ash and dust, you will be free from death as we bind this with our blood.” I repeated the mantra two more times, and we sat still as we watched the items smolder and burn.

  When the flames went out, I poured salt onto the ashes and swirled it around. Once the salt was evenly mixed with the dust, I blew it onto Clamora’s name and said, “You are free.” Then, one by one, I blew out the candles and sat in darkness while Sebastian went to turn on the light. We were finished with the ritual, and I wanted to know if it had worked. Feeling a little tired and ready to head home, I turned and walked right into Sebastian’s chest. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes did. I knew he was thankful for this. Even if it didn’t work, he was thankful that we at least tried. Slowly he reached down to cup my cheek and lifted my face toward his. His lips crashed down on mine, and he kissed me deeply. It felt like it had been ages since he had kissed me, but it hadn’t. Tingles went up and down my body and butterflies danced in my belly. Even though everything seemed out of control, Sebastian made it all okay. He loved me through it all, through any bad thing that I may have caused. He was the stability and sanity that was missing in the hell that we were going through.

  Before Sebastian dropped me off at my house, he called Willow to check on Clamora. Thankfully, the ritual had worked and she was going to be able to leave in a few days. We had decided that it would be best if Luke didn’t know what we had done and that it had worked, so we were going to keep her in a hotel for a while. After all, he was the one who told the u da yv la dv to attack everyone around me—well, my family, but Clamora had grown into my family. She had wormed her way into my heart and I cared about her, although if she ever knew that she would probably kill me with her bare hands. That made me smile.

  When we reached my house, I scrambled out of the car and hurried inside to let my mom know I was ready to go. She was sitting at the bar waiting for me. A big smile crossed her face and she rushed me toward the car outside. My mom’s excitement was palpable. The only other time she got to take me dress shopping was for a dance with Langdon. I felt bad; I knew she had wanted to take me out shopping for school dances like prom and winter formal, but I wasn’t comfortable with dancing. Sure, I was happy that Sebastian wanted to go in the first place, but I still worried about my awkward movements, and if the u da yv la dv would attack while we were there. Taking deep breaths, I tried to relax and think of all the good and exciting prospects of Saturday. I would get to dress up and go to dinner with Sebastian, and maybe even have a few slow dances with him. The more I thought about all the good things, the more I got excited about it.

  We drove around downtown Salem looking at little boutiques and mom-and-pop shops, but none of them had what I wanted. They had pretty dresses that were short in a whole bunch of colors and styles, but not one of them cried out to me. My mom refused to let me go into the mall and search for a dress there. She was hell-bent on finding one so unique that no one else would have it. After we exhausted Salem, we moved down south to Albany. Again, we didn’t find anything. I decided that we should try Portland next, and my mom agreed. But she was starting to get hungry and wanted to stop for lunch. Since we didn’t see anything of interest to us in Albany, we went back to Salem and stopped at Olive Garden.

  Once we were seated and had ordered our drinks, my mom asked me what I was looking for in a dress. I sighed and thought about it. The harder I thought about it, the more a dress started to appear in my mind. It was white, about knee length, and was tight around the waist then ballooned out at the bottom. Lace covered the back and showed some skin, and the neckline was a sweetheart. There were no sparkles or crystals, just plain and simple yet absolutely beautiful. When I told my mom, her eyes sparkled with delight and she got tears in her eyes. A little worried, I asked her what was wrong and she said she knew where we could find that dress. I got excited and asked her where it was, and she just smiled and said nothing. Groaning, I leaned back in the booth and waited for our waiter to appear. After a few more minutes of waiting, he came to our table and took our orders.

  “Hey, Mom?” I asked around a bite of a steaming breadstick from the basket they had dropped off at our table.

  “Yeah?” She looked up at me from her salad.

  “How come you’re being so weird about the dress I want?” I asked cautiously.

  “It’s a long story. When we get where we need to go, I will tell you.” She smiled softly and went back to her salad. We didn’t talk for the rest of the time we were there.

  I thanked her for lunch as we walked back toward the car. She sped off toward the freeway. Not quite sure where we were headed, I watched the exits pass by. She took the exit for Woodburn, and I wanted to ask where we were going, but I didn’t. Even if I did, she wouldn’t tell me. It took me a few minutes to realize we were going to the small boutique where she always shopped. When we finally got there, the owner was closing the store. My mom jumped out of the car and rushed to explain that we needed to buy a dress for my homecoming. After a few minutes, the owner complied and let us in.

  The store was small and cute. Pale green walls were covered with jewelry and small racks of accessories, icicle Christmas lights hung on the walls, casting a soft glow, and tall vintage lamps in the corners of the store gave off just enough light to make it feel cozy. Small ottomans sat in front of the three curtained fitting rooms, and a few mannequins wore the newest items she had in stock. I knew why my mom shopped here; it was comfortable and not stuffy like the stores in the malls. She hurried to a corner that held formal dresses and scanned the racks. When she didn’t find what she was looking for, she looked disappointed. My mom turned to the owner and asked where the dress was, and the woman hurried to the back. Moments later, she reappeared with it in her arms. It was exactly like I had pictured at Olive Garden. I was pushed into the fitting room, and the dress was handed to me.

  There was no containing my excitement as I slid the dress on. The material was smooth and silky against my skin. Even though I was already super pale, the white didn’t make it worse or make me look tan. It made my skin look milky and soft. I twirled around to see if the skirt blew out any more, and it didn’t. Everything about it was perfect. When I stepped out to have my mom button the back, she smiled so big and bright. At that moment I knew I needed to have this dress. She buttoned it up and made me do a few turns as she planned out how to do my hair. After we finished talking about the dress and how to do my hair and makeup, I went back into the fitting room and took it off. My heart did a sad dance in my chest as the dress slid down my body. I put it back on the hanger and got dressed so we could pay for it at the counter.

  When we got to the counter, I took a good look at the owner of the store. She was tall and very thin. Her fingers we slim and bony, and her nose held a pair of cat-eye glasses that threw her hawk-like nose into sharp contrast with her face. There was no name tag hanging from her white blazer. With the way she held her head high and talked to my mom, I would have expected her to work in a high-end store, like Barneys or somewhere similar. I smiled at her when she carefully placed the dress in a garment bag.
“This dress is one of my favorites, that’s why I took it to the back. I didn’t want someone that I didn’t know or like to buy it. But I know it will be in safe hands with you and your mother. And, it fits you perfectly. Enjoy your homecoming.” Her voice was rough and deep. She handed me the bag and followed us out to lock up once again.

  “That dress really is beautiful on you, AubrieAnna.” My mom smiled at me when we were back in the car.

  “Thanks, Mom,” I said, looking out the window.

  “What is it, sweetie?” Her voice held a note of worry.

  “It’s just . . . maybe it’s too perfect for homecoming. Maybe I should keep it for a better special occasion or dance or something.” I looked at my fingers and played with the various rings that littered them.

  “Well, if that’s how you feel, then we can go look for something else tomorrow, or we can search through the dresses you haven’t worn yet.” Her voice was understanding and hopeful.

  “Okay. I really do love that one. I just want it to be used for the perfect occasion, you know?” I asked as I looked at her.

  “I know. Worst-case scenario, it doesn’t get worn for a really long time and then you use it for something spectacular, or you never find the right occasion.” She shrugged and started the car so we could head home.

  “You never told me why you were so weird about the dress,” I hinted.

  “Oh, yes. Well, a few months ago I was in there shopping and I saw it. It was the most beautiful dress ever. When I saw it, all I could picture was you spinning in circles and laughing while wearing it. I didn’t want to buy it without knowing if you’d like it or not, but I wanted so badly to. So I talked to the owner of the shop and she said she would put it away for me, since she loved it dearly too, unless someone else she trusted wanted it. I agreed. and that’s why I got so weird, as you put it.” She smiled at me before looking back at the road.

  I stared out the window the rest of the way home. Thoughts bombarded me. Why was I so weird about wearing the dress to homecoming? Was I worried that we were going to have to fight and that it was going to ruin my dress? Or was this the dress I wanted to wear when we did the blood rite and the ceremony? Sighing, I sunk back into the seat and watched trees pass us. After a very long five minutes, we arrived at our driveway. My mom pulled the car onto our road and parked a few feet from the shed. She reached back and grabbed the bag while I carried the leftovers from lunch. The silence between us was awkward, and I could tell she was a little disappointed that I might not wear the dress. We reached the front door and my phone rang.

  The loud ringing sound was irritating, so I put the food on the porch and answered my phone with a snap. I immediately apologized when I heard who it was. “AubrieAnna, we are running out of time. We have to do the blood rite soon.” Sebastian sounded worried as he forced the words out.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, scared of what he meant by running out of time.

  “They are getting stronger and faster than we or the gods anticipated. We need to go. We have to do the ceremony tomorrow, first thing in the morning, and then after that we have to do the blood rite. There is no more waiting. I will not let you die because I was too scared to trust the gods.” He sounded scared and anxious, almost like he was still too nervous to trust the gods.

  “Sebastian, you have to breathe. You aren’t going to lose me, even if we don’t do the blood rite. I promise. I have no intention of letting these jerks win, or harm anyone I love or care about. Do you understand?” Even though I was scared, I didn’t want to do the blood rite because everyone thought we had to. I needed him to see that we would be okay without it.

  “I know. I guess I am just scared, AubrieAnna.” Sebastian’s voice went soft.

  “I get it. I am too. I am terrified, Sebastian. But we have each other and Willow and Fiora. We aren’t alone.”

  “I know we aren’t. But I want there to be no way to lose you in this mess.” More concern and fear flooded his voice.

  “Sebastian, I know. Trust me, I do. Because I don’t want to lose you either. But I want to know that we are doing this blood rite because we love each other and want each other in every possible way, not just because everyone thinks that we will have a guaranteed victory because of it,” I answered him honestly.

  “It’s for that, not just for a victory. Remember how I told you that if I did it with anyone I wanted it to be with you?” he asked me.

  “Yeah, I do,” I whispered.

  “Well, I want to do this with you for everything good that comes from it, as well as saving your life in case anything happens.”

  “Sebastian . . . ” I whispered.

  “AubrieAnna, please say yes?” he pleaded.

  “Okay. But if I feel like anything is going to go wrong or we aren’t doing this for the best of reasons, I will back out. At least I’ll back out of the blood rite, not the ceremony,” I answered him.

  “All right.” He breathed a sigh of relief.

  “I guess you should come over and tell my parents with me,” I said.

  “Okay, I will be there shortly.” He hung up.

  Taking a deep breath, I went inside to face my parents before Sebastian arrived. My mom was putting the remnants of a pizza in the fridge, and my dad was finishing off a cold piece when I walked into the kitchen. I sat down next to my dad and smiled at him. Butterflies dove and twisted dangerously in my stomach. Deep breaths, I had to keep taking deep breaths. My dad’s forehead turned and twisted so worry lines mutilated his handsome face. “Sebastian and I need to talk to you guys about something,” I said. Eyes bulged out of my dad’s face. “I am not pregnant. Don’t freak out, please?” He placed his piece of pizza on the counter and glared at me until I gave him an explanation. I took one more deep breath. “Okay. So you guys know in not so many words that I am different. I’m not exactly human. However you guys don’t know that I am supposed to save the world from really bad creatures. Honestly, I don’t even think you guys are supposed to know that. Anyway, Sebastian is going to help me save the world because, well, he’s my soul mate. No, I don’t just think that because I am a teenager, but because Aphrodite told us. So we have to save the world and everyone in it because Hades is a total scumbag and cheated when he created his own supernatural creatures. And those creatures are currently locked away in their own world, which is inside of earth—basically Hell, but way worse. They don’t like it down there and want to take over our planet. So in order to stop them, Sebastian and I have to do something that is a really big deal in the supernatural world. Normally it could and most probably would kill us, but since the gods are going to help, we will be okay. I will be okay. And, well, I would like your approval.” I inhaled and sat in silence after I gave them a really short and scary explanation of everything.

  “Don’t you mean our permission?” My dad eyed me.

  “Well, not really, because sadly I have to do this. Well, I don’t have to, but I want to. But yes, I want it; I want your support and approval. It’s really scary to think about. And I love him and what we are going to do is something that will save us and allow us to be immortal, literally. Nothing would be able to kill us. Ever. And please don’t hate me or be scared of me, or for me. I know that I will be fine. Everything will be okay. I promise.” I looked down, ashamed at the thought that they wouldn’t approve or agree with me.

  “Why can’t this wait until you’re a bit older, sweetie?” my mom asked.

  “Because the stuff that is supposed to happen is going to happen soon, sooner than we all originally thought. They are getting stronger, and Zeus’s lockdown on them isn’t going to last very much longer.” I hoped they would understand the severity of the situation.

  “AubrieAnna, I know you love this boy and he loves you, but are you sure this is what’s best for you, not just the world?” My dad looked at me with his blue eyes full of concern and pride.

  “I believe so. Daddy, he’s really important to me, and I need him to help me through this. I n
eed you guys too, but I can’t risk your lives. And when we do this, I won’t be risking his. Or mine.” I looked at him and prayed that they could see all I felt in my eyes.

  “Well, okay. I will listen to what it is that you two need to do, and I will approve of you and what you decide, no matter what. You are my baby girl.” He pulled me into his chest and held me for a while. It had been a long time since he had done that. Sitting there in his arms made me feel like a child again, protected and safe from the world.

  A knock on the door made us all move from our spots. I knew it was Sebastian, so I went to answer the door. He shifted from one foot to the other in pure nervousness. After a few seconds, he lifted his head and smiled brilliantly when he saw me standing there. Smiling back, I got lost in his dazzling eyes and forgot what he was there for. Chairs shifting in the kitchen drew my attention back to what we were about to discuss with my parents. Awkwardly, I moved to the side so he could enter, and we made our way to the kitchen.

  After hours of talking with my parents about everything, they agreed that we should do the blood rite. They knew that it was not only the right thing to do to save the world, it was also the right thing to save me. My dad in not so many words told Sebastian that he loved him like another son. Of course, my mom agreed and insisted that after everything was right again with the world, we would have a large human wedding. She understood that we wanted to do the blood rite not just to save everyone in the world but to be closer together and stay together for eternity. At some points, she cried and excused herself to get some tissues. My dad would smile and roll his eyes. I was the daughter they almost lost, and they would agree to everything that would allow me to live. I was no longer their baby girl in a crib or a child crying over lost and broken toys. It was sad to see it and realize it was true. Not just for them but for me too. I would always need my mom and dad, and I would always love them for who they raised me to be.