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Loot

Page 19

by Nadine Gordimer


  Yes. Well, perhaps I don’t understand and know I never shall what force sends me back to existence, but my experience doesn’t bear out a process of either perfection or retribution. It has been written: ‘Many people worry about the issues of “unfinished business” whether it be psychologically or karmically.’ The being I become to continue unfinished business in the life of another is not always, seldom is subject to any retribution owed by or to another life; and perfection’s something I’ve never attained in a Return … This force I once heard, read about, they called karma—isn’t it a questioning going back again and again? Here we are: ‘Within such a search no single, narrow angle of perception is sufficient … From Hinduism and Buddhism; the doctrine that the sum of a person’s actions in previous states of existence controls his or her fate in future existences.’ That’s mostly been my existences. Even the one where I was—how to put it—waiting, was called back from existence I might have had.

  After life.

  The earthly term for what is hoped for after death. But here’s a version of immortality for one who can’t believe in an after-life somehow of a similar, if exalted, nature of the one they’re living: when you die your body decays in earth or the process has been anticipated by cremation. Right? You are humus or ash; heat and rain, in the course of seasons cause the matter to rise in the form of evaporation and microscopic particles, to the atmosphere. It reconstitutes as clouds. When you’re aloft in a plane and you gaze at the hillocks of cloud through which you are passing, underneath and above you, drifting: that’s where the dead are, beyond their number and time (heaven is surely too crowded to believe in), constantly forming and reforming matter. Returning.

  Dead. Death sentence.

  But there’s also such a thing as life sentence; going back again and again, no escape; this is infinity: reward, forgiveness, another chance or final punishment for all the misdeeds of all the karmas so far … only so far.

  I understand.

  It means you are condemned to live forever.

  REINHOLD

  12th March 1908–18th October 2001

  1st March 1953–18th October 2001

  Also by Nadine Gordimer

  NOVELS

  The Lying Days

  A World of Strangers

  Occasion for Loving

  The Late Bourgeois World

  A Guest of Honor

  The Conservationist

  Burger’s Daughter

  July’s People

  A Sport of Nature

  My Son’s Story

  None to Accompany Me

  The House Gun

  The Pickup

  STORIES

  The Soft Voice of the Serpent

  Six Feet of the Country

  Friday’s Footprint

  Not for Publication

  Livingstone’s Companions

  A Soldier’s Embrace

  Selected Stories

  Something Out There

  Jump and Other Stories

  ESSAYS

  The Black Interpreters

  The Essential Gesture—Writing, Politics and Places

  (edited by Stephen Clingman)

  Writing and Being

  Living in Hope and History: Notes from Our Century

  On the Mines (with David Goldblatt)

  Lifetimes Under Apartheid (with David Goldblatt)

  Notes

  … how few Westerners grasp malaria’s devastation … . ‘Catch As Catch Can’, Los Angeles Times Book Review (12/5/02), review by Dr Claire Panosian Dunavan of The Fever Trail by Mark Honigsbaum (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2002).

  … so man is continually peopling his current space with a world of his own. A. P. Sinnett, The Occult World (Kessinger Publishing, 1981).

  Aorist: Denotes past action without indicating completion, continuation.

  The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language.

  Many times man lives and dies,

  Between his two eternities

  That of race and that of soul.

  W. B. Yeats, ‘Under Ben Bulben’.

  … sooner or later every action brings its retribution, in this existence or in one to come. National Geographic (3/1/32), quoted by Ruth White, Karma & Reincarnation (Weiser Books, 2001).

  I have been part of it always and there is maybe no escape, forgetting and returning life after life like an insect in the grass. W. B. Yeats.

  It turns out that something that never was and never will be is all that we have. Amos Oz, The Same Sea, trans. Nicholas de Lange and the author (Harcourt, 1999).

  Just as everything is always something else … it may also throw some light on the procreative god. Harry Mulisch, ‘The Procedure,’ trans. Paul Vincent (Viking, 2001).

  The Pestle of the moon

  That pounds up all anew

  Brings me to birth again—

  To find what once I had,

  And know what once I have known.

  W. B. Yeats, ‘On Woman.’

  The individual’s choice of a future earthly body is limited, however … . T. C. Lethbridge, Witches (Lyle Stuart, 1969), quoted by Ruth White, Karma & Reincarnation (Weiser Books, 2001).

  The doctrine of karma or transmigration …’ ibid.

  Copyright © 2003 by Felix Licensing, B. V.

  All rights reserved

  Lines from “On Woman” and “Under Ben Bulben” by W. B. Yeats reprinted with the permission of Scribner, an imprint of Simon & Schuster Adult Publishing Group, from The Collected Work of W.B. Yeats, Volume 1: The Poems, Revised, edited by Richard J. Finneran (New York: Scribner, 1997). Copyright 1940 by Georgie Yeats; copyright renewed © 1968 by Bertha Georgie Yeats, Michael Butler Yeats, and Anne Yeats.

  Farrar, Straus and Giroux

  19 Union Square West, New York 10003

  www.fsgbooks.com

  Designed by Abby Kagan

  eISBN 9780374707460

  First eBook Edition : June 2011

  First edition, 2003

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Gordimer, Nadine.

  Loot and other stories / Nadine Gordimer.—1st ed. p. cm.

  Contents: Loot—Mission statement—Visiting George—The generation gap—L, U, C, I, E.—Look-alikes—The diamond mine—Homage—An emissary—Karma.

  ISBN 0-374-19090-9 (alk. paper)

  1. South Africa—Social life and customs—Fiction. I. Title.

  PR9369.3.G6 L66 2003

  823’.914—dc21

  2002042601

 

 

 


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