by Morpheous
Pony Play: Sub is dressed in highly fetishized pony gear, complete with a mouth bit and anal plug with a tail. The Top or Dominant then makes her prance and treats her like a pony.
My favorite toy is definitely rope. It is as simple or complex as the skills of the person wielding it, and easily lends itself to instant inspiration. When I pack my toy bag, I include at least one set of fine quality bondage rope. I might have in my packaged bundle of six to eight 25–30’ 6mm hemps for the base of my work, two to four 25–30’ 8mm hemps for distributing weight loads or to add a heavier feel to a tie, and a couple 10’ 4mm hemps for finer detailed work and/or hair and toe bondage. Added in are a swiveled suspension ring, carabiners, a pair of pliers, a rescue hook, rubber gloves, a couple of condoms in varying sizes, a bottle of olive oil, and a camera. With those basic toys in my crimson-lined leopard skin bag, I am ready for just about anything, whether my role is that of Top or bottom. Rope bondage can constrict, constrain and support the body while being capturing, nurturing, and repairing.
—Artemis Hunter, hetero-flexible Switch
Boys’ and Girls’ Genital Bondage
Genital bondage needs its own section since it is a little different from “regular” bondage—there’s a higher risk factor involved. This isn’t to scare you away from it, as it can be a lot of fun and very satisfying, but we use much smaller diameter rope or cord for this than you would for bondage to tie a person’s limbs or body together and in using it on a much more delicate part of the body you need to use extra care and attention.
Cock and Ball Tying
For male genital bondage, start with a length of cord that is about 3’ long. Parachute cord or cotton cord are great—you need something soft and pliable, that isn’t going to be too distracting. What you are going to do with it will be distracting enough; you don’t want the scene to end early because you used sisal cord on him and now his balls itch like mad and he can’t concentrate on licking your stilettos! Household string is not thick enough—find something that’s a minimum of 1/8’’ in diameter. Dental floss is NOT what we are going for—small and tough will bite into the skin and can even puncture it. It is important to remember that bondage for the bedroom is about getting your partner tied up as a starting point for other fun and games. Think of yourself as a spider that has to get that little fly comfortable in your web and eating out of your hand before you lay it on too heavy. Slow is easy, comfortable is easy. This is fun, so take your time. You can lotion up the balls with a nice hand cream to reduce chaffing, though it will make the rope a little slippery. Here are some basic steps:
The best toy is a naked, sexy, collared submissive!
A blindfold, ear phones and some rope is a great way to start a sensory deprivation scene.
Power Exchange: A defining characteristic of BDSM best described as “eroticism based on a consensual exchange of power.”
Start with your 3’ section and find the middle.
Cross the middle of the cord behind the balls, then bring the ends up to the top of the shaft and tie a nice overhand knot and snug it down. Then return to under the balls with the ends and make another overhand knot.
Wind between the shaft and the balls, nice and gently. Go slow; more wraps that are not tight are better than less-but-really-tight wraps. This will allow you to fine-tune the bondage. Don’t go too tight: purple and blue are bad, unwind the cord if his balls are turning that color!
Finish the cord off with a nice bow behind the shaft or under the balls or some place unobtrusive that you can get to immediately.
Pulling the balls away from their natural tendency to tuck up against the body will result in the ability to delay orgasm. Testicles are designed to tuck up against the body at the moment of orgasm, so this is a great way to make someone last longer and still stay hard. When you tie up a guy’s genitals, especially around the shaft of the cock, the blood will be somewhat trapped in the cock and help it maintain an erection. Once it is like this, the tightness of the skin and the swollen member will make the skin more sensitive to fingernails, ice cubes, your mouth, feathers or anything else you can think of.
There are all sort of floggers, each bringing a different sensation for your slave.
He CAN cum when tied up, but be forewarned that as soon as his orgasm happens you will need to take the cord off. What felt immensely pleasurable only minutes ago will start to feel excruciating or annoying after his orgasm. The cock and balls need to let fresh blood circulate through the body, so get it untied as quickly, but gently, as you can.
Protocol: Defined code of behavior that a partner is expected to abide by. Typically imposes limits on a submissive’s behavior.
I love when a boy is responsive and moans, groans, and swears reacting to the cbt that I’m inflicting. I like to have him tied to the coffee table faceup, where all the good parts are exposed. He gets very vocal in a whiny, crying way: “Please let me cum, my cock is so hard and red!” I tease him in a variety of ways, with just enough touch that his stiff dick knows I’m there, but not enough touching to satisfy the need, tormenting him. I know he wants to dump a huge load, but he doesn’t have my permission to cum.
—Benevolent Mistress of Chaos, Dominant
Female Genital Bondage
Women’s genitals being the opposite of men’s can be used to your advantage to tie a vibrator into her pussy, or a pair of balls or vibrating eggs. Spreading the lips with a nice hip harness is a great turn-on. Many women enjoy the position and sensations of being exposed, their legs splayed helplessly open, and you can heighten this sensation by also tying the outer pussy lips open to expose them or closed to secure something that is beyond her control inside her such as a remote-control vibrating egg.
Sensation Play
Sensation play has a much wider scope for toys; anything that can be trailed across the skin or teased or dripped along it can be used. Sensation play is where your creative thoughts can really work overtime! It doesn’t have to be just skin-based sensations, it can also be aromatic or flavor based. There are multitudes of sensations you can create on and with someone; let’s look at a few of the basics to get you started.
Hot Wax Candles
Find a low-temp candle. Dollar stores have great cheap low-temperature candles that usually have religious figures on them (yet another reason to use them during sex play). Don’t use beeswax or high-quality paraffin wax. Hair is going to be a problem; it will usually come off along with the wax if you don’t use a “release”—a greasy barrier that will help separate the wax from the skin. I recommend hand lotion for the area you will be dripping on. Shaving or depilation is an even better idea before doing wax play. Liquid candle wax is hot, so test it first! If you hold the candle up high above the person’s body, the greater distance the wax has to drop through the air to the body will cool it marginally before it hits the skin. This is a great way to vary the temperature of the candle wax. Laying your partner down on his or her back and putting a blindfold on him is a nice way to make sure no errant drips of hot wax get in his eyes. Use old towels or bedsheets that can be designated as the “wax-play sheets,” or you may want to use a plastic sheet. It is going to be messy and you have to accept that. Here is a cool bit of information for people interested in rope bondage: hemp rope loves wax! The wax will get all over the rope but when it gets worked into the fibers it will help moisturize them, so don’t worry about cleaning them too much, just get the big chunks off and don’t worry about the wax that has soaked into the rope. Cleaning methods for leather floggers are detailed on pages 104 and 105 of Jay Wiseman’s book SM 101 (see Resources).
Riding Crop: A short, semi-flexible rod with a flat pliable end used in equestrian pursuits. When you first start to play, use only the floppy end to strike someone.
I find that wax play is one of those really intense sensations that takes some time for a submissive to work through. Don’t dump spoonfuls of wax on her, just take it drip by drip and let her skin and mind take the time
they need to process it. Alternating ice cubes along with the hot wax is also a really interesting contrasting sensation that can go a long way to increasing the spectrum of your scene.
Floggers and Other Percussive Toys
Floggers and other percussive toys form the bulk of play instruments. Percussive instruments such as ping-pong paddles, rubber-handled spatulas, exquisite wooden paddles and of course leather and rubber floggers and single-tail whips are all going to fall under the same category but their methods of use and where they are used on the body for safe play vary. Some are perfect for the ass and legs and other instruments are excellent for the meaty upper back. Some do it all wonderfully and others are site specific. The first thing you will find when you are shopping for a flogger is that most look similar. They have a handle and all the tails are called a fall. The length, weight and choice of materials can make the similar looking floggers very different in how they feel when they strike.
Flogging
1 Either have your submissive stand in front of you or have you both on your knees, kneeling up straight.
2 You should be aiming for the strong, sexy shoulder muscles, or the upple part of the rib cage.
3 You can even go for the nice, tight bum muscles, but be very careful not to hit the lower back or spine.
4 Grip the flogger tightly in your dominant hand.
5 In one motion, quickly move the hand holding the handle forward. Aim for the shoulders, remember.
6 Once the flogger strikes, let the tails fall downward.
7 In a sweeping motion gather the tails and return to your original position, or if you are changing the impact zone to the butt, have the flogger at your side.
8 To hit the buttocks, have your slave bend over onto all fours will his ass nicely exposed.
9 Repeat the same singular movement with the flogger, then gather the tails as before.
Role-Playing: Adopting roles such as “Hooker and John” or “Doctor and Patient” for a certain amount of time in order to explore aspects of those roles. Role-play can be either “fantasy” or “realistic.”
Now that we know how the basic flogger is constructed, let’s break down the four stages involved in flogging.
potential energy
kinetic energy
follow-through
alternating sensations
The first is the setup of how to start with the flogging. This involves the stored or potential energy in the instrument. Note how the tails are held in line with the handle above shoulder height.
The second is the actual strike where all the potential energy is released into kinetic (traveling) energy. When flogging, the greatest kinetic force will be at the end of the tails. One flogger maker who is now retired made three beautiful floggers for me that had the tails cut so that they were a half inch wider at each end to deliver 50 percent impact.
The follow-through finishes the strike and returns the flogger to the setup position ready for the next strike.
Once you have mastered the art of the setup, the strike, and the follow-through, you can experiment with alternating sensations. Some simple patterns are the Figure 8, the Car Wash, the Towel Snap and the Drag. What you will notice quite quickly when you start breaking down the steps and get a rhythm is how naturally the flogger will want to return to the setup position if you have completed the follow-through correctly. You will start by holding the tails of the flogger out but in time you will feel the natural swing of the flogger and be able to judge where it “wants to be” in relation to the setup position for the next strike to be delivered.
For beginners, you should practice lightly at first. Even practicing on a pillow is good until you get the feel for the toy, the weight and the heft and how the fall of the flogger goes, the swing, and its weight. Alternate between hard and soft, stinging and slow; floggers can deliver a wide variety of sensations and it would be a shame to waste your efforts on just one hard sensation. It is all about how you wield the flogger—it will become an extension of your desire and intent. You can even use the handle to poke and prod and in some cases, with a condom, insert it into a lucky submissive! Want a really heavy sensation? Take two different kinds of floggers made of different leather and cross their handles in your hand and then you can create heavy and stinging sensations at the same time! Since a person’s body can get used to most sensations after about twenty minutes, you’ll want to vary and mix it up to keep the sensations different. Hit the bum: it’s fleshy and meaty and has a large muscle group. You’ll do well to concentrate on the meaty parts of the body when flogging someone. Stay away from the kidneys and head!
There are many different types of percussive toys — try a few!
Safety with Percussion
If a person tips his head forward you will feel a bump at the base of the neck; this is the C7 vertebrae and it is quite prominent in most people. Note that this spot and anything above it is off limits for anything but the softest sensations. The spine meets the head and carries with it nerves, veins, arteries, and a whole bunch of other delicate tissues that we don’t want to damage. Irreparable damage can occur if any striking in this area is done with any force. You must be gentle and kind. If you want to protect this area during your initial work with your flogger, pull a T-shirt into a line and drape it across the nape of the neck. This offers a little bit of protection in case of an errant swing and it also gives you a visual reminder of where the off limits area is. A basic understanding of human anatomy will serve you well; go online or grab an anatomy book and study the basic musculature of the body. You should avoid directly striking the spine in general, but since it runs the length of the back it is difficult at first to do this. Rest assured that there is surrounding muscle on the top portion of the back to help cushion blows that land there. Aim for left or right of center of the back, where the big shoulder muscles are. Thick meaty areas of the body are where you want to strike, rather than places where the skin just covers the bone or there are joints. The ass, the back, the thighs and shoulders are all great places. Kidneys, lower back, joints, and tummy should be avoided. Breasts are another matter—while light flogging can be sensual and fun, medium to heavy blows may increase the risk for health issues later on. See chapter 8 for safety and breast-related concerns.
Sadism: The act of administering pain for sensual/sexual pleasure.
We always recommend for people just starting to experiment with power play to try something easy to use and not too expensive. You don’t want to spend a lot of money on a toy and find out it wasn’t really what you like after all. A soft short flogger or smallish slappers are good to start with because they are easy to use and offer a gentle thud sensation. Often people start with something softer to warm up; if you are inexperienced, at least you know you can’t really hurt (in a bad way) with a soft flogger. It takes practice to hit well, in the right spot, and just the way your partner wants, so smaller and lighter implements allow you to make a few and not too serious mistakes along the way.
—Sarah Forbes-Roberts, Come As You Are (a shop)
Flogging is for fun and playtime, not for showing off how hard you can hit someone. Position of the body matters a great deal. The bottom should be standing upright, on his or her toes, legs taut, with the ass out and arms straight and placed against the wall. Being secured up on a cross is another classic position. However, having the sub lying down and stretched out on a spanking bench where he or she is about level with your waist is even better. That’s my preferred position. It offers the Dominant or Mistress more opportunities for access to the body without him or her having to extend as much energy as the classic standing pose. And it offers a safer position as well; if the platform is stable there is much less chance of falling than when the sub is standing. When striking someone who is lying down, the flogger’s tendency is to fall downward with gravity. Take advantage of this; you can deliver just as hard a blow this way with less energy than if you are striking out horizontally. You can walk 360 degrees around
your victim and flog with a much wider variety of motion. Hold the tails so they gently brush the skin and sweep and stroke across the sub. Floggers come with just as many variations of tails as you can think of. Deerskin is lovely soft leather that sounds great but doesn’t deliver too much impact while bull or moose hide are much heavier and will deliver more wallop.
Sometimes an ass is just begging to be spanked!
Safe Call: A previously arranged phone call at a specific time to a confidant after meeting or playing with a new partner.
No spanking bench in your home? Bending your lover across a table facedown conjures up its own images of role-playing fantasies; stretching her out on the bed does as well. Placing him kneeling on the sofa, facing the back with his chest across the top, or up on his elbows is perfect for playtime. The cushions make kneeling a breeze and there’s an added advantage if the sub is up on her elbows and hanging her head down between her shoulders. The shoulder muscles will flex and offer immediate protection for the before-mentioned C7 vertebrae and all the other delicate bits above it. Up on the elbows also gives you room to reach under and gently or cruelly stroke a dark engorged nipple that is hanging at the end of a juicy breast waiting in anticipation to be plucked like a ripe berry, or taut pecs framing dark areolae that beg for a sexy pair of clothespins to awaken their desires. Ass backward presents the Dominant with the genitals at a pleasing and convenient angle. I find this position superior to the classic standing pose. While I love seeing someone stretched out on a cross, waiting with bated breath for the next strike to fall, this position offers more variety and if performed on something stable like a sofa, the cushions will not only make the sub more comfortable but also offer a nice place to slide down into a prone position when the flogging is done.