Evenstar

by Darcy Town

  Berith, Andy, and Belial got in close. Lucifer pushed past them. “You were able to hear them talk? You know what was said?”

  “Yes. Come here.” Furcas held his hand out. The Fallen touched him and he played for them what they had not been able to hear.

  They stood frozen for some minutes. Furcas pulled his hand back and they trembled in shock and anger.

  Lucifer’s skin turned luminous and his eyes black. “He hated that she preferred me.” He punched the wall. “That is why he sentenced her to prison? Because he was jealous?”

  Berith shook his head. “What about the name, the blasphemy charge?”

  Furcas sighed. “He didn’t give two shits about the name thing. The whole thing was just an excuse to justify His actions to Himself and the rest of us, to get us to go along and imprison her. If He had not used that, it would have been something else I’m sure.”

  Lucifer shook. “I will kill Him! I. Will. Kill. Him! I will tear down the throne! I will rip him to pieces! I will take it—”

  “No, we will.” A red pendant sailed through the air and hit Paimon in the face. The Fallen looked up. Dahlia stood in the green doorway, glowing red, wearing a leaf skirt similar to Furcas. Her red-tinted hair bloomed flowers, woven in with Furcas’ deft fingers. She looked radiant in the darkness.

  Lucifer’s world stopped. Her eyes, glowing in the darkness, they were her eyes, his beloved. The sound of her voice caressed his ears. Every doubt he had loomed large, every fear became agonizing, his desire, unable to be ignored. His body was locked in place. He could not run. He could not speak. His very being hinged on her choices, on her movements. He pivoted around her and nothing else could affect him. He waited to be judged.

  Dahlia’s eyes stayed on Furcas; she could not look at Lucifer. Heat radiated off him, his scent an intoxicating drug to her. She squeezed her hands into fists and dug her nails into her palms to stay in control of herself, to keep from attacking him.

  She was aware of his state, but she had no answer to the question his face and body asked. She looked instead to the rest of the Fallen, her features shifting between happiness, hope, and sadness. They looked back in joy, trepidation, and relief.

  She tried to find words that meant something, but there was too much to say. She sucked in air and her lips trembled. Berith bowed his head. The others followed suit. Dahlia brought her hand to cover her mouth, embarrassed and ecstatic in one moment.

  Belial ran to Dahlia and wrapped her arms around her. Dahlia hugged Belial and held on to her, her lifeline, a grounding force. Her pounding heart calmed, and she regained herself. Her thoughts steadied into a coherent stream. She looked back up at the others. The human part of her smirked and overcame all else. “Which one of you manipulative, motherfucking bastards lit my house on fire?”

  Belial kissed her cheeks. A spark of innocence returned to her features. “You’re okay, you are yourself!”

  “Yes, thanks to all of you.” Dahlia shook her head. “Oh, and thanks for the job position you lying sacks of shit.”

  Belial squeezed her tight. “You’re not mad that we lied though?”

  “It was done with good intentions and it was all rather sweet.” Dahlia looked at everyone else. “But, you are still dicks.”

  Belial grinned and jumped back to Andy. Andy smiled and put an arm around her shoulders.

  Paimon held on to Furcas, and he bowed his head. “Glad to see you’re both well.”

  Dahlia shook her head. “Oh, Uncle Pai, you and I need to have a chat sometime.”

  Paimon grinned. “Of course, most favorite niece.”

  Dahlia blushed and dropped her gaze. “I cannot look at you two the same anymore.”

  Paimon looked confused. Furcas laughed. “She shared my memories too remember, she saw us, all of it.”

  Paimon’s mouth formed an O. He cleared his throat. “Well, you two destroyed planets, we just damaged decency.”

  Dahlia smiled. Her eyes caught on Lucifer and the smile faded. The laughter of the others cut off. The silence in the room became a force, a heavy clotted thing. She could not break his gaze. She recognized it now, the mourning and longing; the same face he’d worn when he had broken her in front of the throne.

  His heart stopped and he dropped to his knees. He could see it in her, the memories and the fury. She could not hide it in her eyes. He struggled to breathe. Her expression did not change. Her eyes were unrelenting in their scrutiny.

  Lucifer waited. He would take whatever she would dole out. He deserved anything she would give him. He was trapped, imprisoned by shackles of guilt.

  Dahlia could stand his sorrow no longer. She stepped up to him, and his jaw clenched. She took his hand and pulled him gently to his feet. His hand was warm against hers, strong but trembling. She looked to the others and spoke softly, “I was told that I had to give you all fair warning in advance, you have five minutes.” She tugged on him and he followed her into the green room.

  The door shut and sealed to the wall behind them. The Fallen stared at each other.

  Paimon broke the silence. “I’m calling this room right here. The rest of you get the fuck out.”

  Berith rolled his eyes and looked to Apple. “To the Road again?”

  Apple smirked. “Why not the surface itself?”

  Berith smiled. “It may be dangerous during the changes.”

  “Perfect.” The two ran out, grinning.

  Helion stood up and shook his wings. He walked out to find Whitney.

  Andy and Belial followed him. The Sanctuary door shut behind them. The pair stared at Helion’s retreating figure. Andy took Belial over to the same room of pillows he had recuperated in. He opened the door. “In you go. See you in a bit—”

  Belial clamped her hand over Andy’s mouth and pulled him into the room as she tumbled in. She threw him into the pillows and locked the door behind her; it fused to the wall, sealing them inside.

  He scrambled up from the floor. “What are you doing?”

  Belial stared at her feet and stood in the way of the exit.

  Andy gaped at her. “Belial, what are you doing?”

  “You won’t hurt me?”

  “Of course I’m not going to hurt you! Belial.” His face went pale. “Belial, let me leave.”

  “No.”

  “Belial, we can’t be here together when Lucifer and Dahlia start. You know what’s going to happen to us!”

  She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “Do you really love me, Andrealphus?”

  “Yes! Only you, forever. So please let me get out!” Andy stormed towards the door.

  Belial kicked him back. She rubbed her eyes. “If you love me you won’t hurt me.”

  He fumed. “Belial! We will not have control over our actions!”

  She took his hands. “Andy, I need to know this!”

  “Belial, please do not do this to us.” He pleaded with her. “I don’t want you like this and I know you do not want this!”

  “I have to do it.”

  He looked lost. “Why?”

  She looked at her hands. “What’s stronger, love or lust?”

  “Love.”

  “Prove it.” She raised her eyes to his. “I don’t believe in love anymore, Andy. Prove it to me please. Please. Be strong enough.”

  Andy set his jaw. He stared at the wall where the door used to be. He looked at her; she wavered between trust and fear. He sat down. “I will.”

  “You will stay?”

  He nodded. “And I will not touch you that way.”

  Belial flopped down at his side and rolled to the pillows. She stared at the ceiling and took deep breaths. Her heart pounded and her fingers twitched.

  He could feel her dread. He lay down on his stomach, making sure they did not touch. He clenched his fists and spoke into pillows, “Why now, Belial?”

  “We might not have another chance.”

  ***

  Paimon pinned Furcas to the floor. Their clothes were shredd
ed. They bled from scratch marks. The pair lay up against the remains of the stone dais’ base. Paimon held Furcas down with one hand and pulled a crochet hook out of his own cheek with the other. He tossed the tool. “You didn’t say not to go in that room. There wasn’t a sign that said ‘No Paimon Allowed.’”

  Furcas looked away. “It was still private. It was mine.”

  Paimon silenced him with a kiss. “Private? Between us, are you kidding? When has anything ever been private and why didn’t you ever tell me you wanted a baby?”

  Furcas scratched at him. “I don’t particularly relish the idea of being laughed at! Besides, what is the point of telling you? I regret that I did it, I was sick! Can’t you just forget it and everything else I said? I was just being delirious; I didn’t mean any of it!”

  “You’re a shit liar. So no, I’m not going to forget about it.” Paimon wrapped his arms around Furcas and thrust into him. Furcas went weak, Paimon smiled. “And the point?” He thrust again. “The point, Furcas dear, is that I want to make you happy. Keeping secrets makes my job that much harder.”

  Furcas let a smile show. “You’re doing a fairly nice job right now.”

  “You’re talking too much, obviously I’m not.” Paimon dug his feet into the floor, and the rock behind Furcas cracked. He grabbed a knot of Furcas’ long hair. Crushed flowers scented the room. He held Furcas down by his hips and sank down, kissing his caramel-colored skin.

  Furcas scratched his nails across Paimon’s wing scars. “You don’t need to give me anything. I am happy.”

  Paimon pressed his nose to Furcas’ hair and inhaled. “Shut up. You were going to moon and mope over this for the rest of ever, weren’t you?”

  Furcas looked away. “I thought the desire would go away, I know it’s not doable. It’s such a stupid thought anyways.”

  “Of all the stupid ideas you’ve had, this one is by far the most interesting.” Paimon leaned his head on Furcas’ chest and listened to his heartbeat. “But you don’t think it’s possible, so you don’t even want to try. That’s why you didn’t tell me. I’m right aren’t I?”

  Furcas blinked. “Try? How would that work? We can’t get…you know.”

  “Furcas, use your imagination.” Paimon grinned and pushed himself up on his elbows. “We’re right next door to the fertility duo! Why do you think I called this room for us?”

  “But…” Furcas looked over at the doorway. “You don’t really think that we can.”

  Paimon smirked. “We’ll never know until we try. They spontaneously create shit left and right. Why can’t we?”

  “We’re not like them…so how?”

  “Fucking like rabbits and concentrating on it until something works? That was pretty much my thought on the concept. I figure we can mess around some, see what happens. If we don’t spontaneously create our own kid, then we’ll try something else.”

  Furcas blushed. “Are you saying you want a baby?”

  Paimon smirked. “With you? Fuck yes. You’d make an adorable mommy. If you’re the mom I get to force you to cook me dinners and do all the chores, oh and make cocktails for me each night.” He grinned. “This idea is sounding better and better.”

  “You hate my cooking and my cocktails.” Furcas grimaced. “You don’t really mean it. You’re teasing me. I can’t believe you! Teasing me about this after I—”

  “Furcas.” Paimon ran his thumb across Furcas’ cheek. “I’ll take you as you are cooking or no cooking. I would love to have a child with you. Though, I can’t imagine what kind of demon spawn we’re going to manifest if we get this right. It’ll probably be the death of us.”

  Furcas blushed. “You do mean it!”

  “Yeah, that’s what I just said. You never believe me…” Paimon pushed Furcas back down and moved against him. “For now, let’s just see how things go. My brilliant mind is on the case.”

  Furcas’ voice grew slurred with pleasure, “What should I do?”

  “Besides having the best orgasm ever? Do what you’ve always done. Bat your eyes and look pretty for me, baby.” He dodged to avoid a punch to the face. He grabbed and pinned Furcas’ hand. “Pretty and feisty!”

  ***

  Gaea had departed the small green room. Lucifer let Dahlia lead him inside. As the door sealed shut behind them, she dropped his hand and stepped away from him. She rubbed her arms. She stood with her back to him. If they were to speak, and they needed to, she could not look at him. His eyes paralyzed her. “I said they had five minutes and so do you.”

  Lucifer stared at her naked back; his fear warred with desire. His voice slipped out a whisper, “For what?”

  “Tell me what it felt like.”

  “What felt like?”

  “Breaking my wings and locking me in. I need to know what it felt like.”

  Lucifer fell back against the wall. An emotional hole opened up inside him, worse than the spear wound. This hole did not burn; it left a place for everything good to flee through until he was a void. He stared at his feet. “Dahlia, I am without excuse. I am guilty, shamed, revolted with what I did to you.” His voice cracked. “I know I can never say this enough and never make up for what I did. But know that I am sorry and will be for the rest of my existence—”

  “I do not want to hear your apologies, not right now. Just tell me the truth,” her voice came out cold and brittle.

  Lucifer let his tears fall, unrestrained. “It felt like death itself had come to make in me a home, but worse than death, for death would have been an undeserved release, an unfitting punishment for such a foul deed.”

  She turned at the sound of his sobs, but held herself back. She looked to his side, seeing, but not seeing him. Each breath he took, a sawing sound, ragged, cut at her. She closed her eyes. “Continue.”

  Lucifer sank to the grass. He stared at his hands, remembering the snapping sensation of her wings. “In the instant I caused you pain, I felt less than alive, beyond doubt a vile creature. I loathed each cell in my body. I hurt in a way I did not think possible. The pain inside me was not an emotion or a fleeting thought. It was a living thing, a sadistic, gnawing snake that wound itself around my every nerve so that within I burnt alive. I wanted it to consume me. I desired that my flesh be broken in place of yours and when that could not be so, I wished it would destroy me wholly.”

  She turned from him. “What was the pain?”

  Lucifer scratched at his chest, diving into the agony. “Guilt, regret, love for you, and hate for myself.”

  “Did it allow you to act?”

  “No, I stayed frozen. The pain raged inside me, unable to find release.”

  “Did those feelings leave you after you left me broken and locked? Did they die down as soon as the blood was washed clean?”

  Lucifer gagged, his senses flooded with the scent of her blood. He remembered the metallic taste that had infused his mouth and refused to leave. “No, they grew.”

  “Grew into what?”

  “A fire, an inferno. I had nothing else inside me.”

  “What happened then?”

  “I entered the fire and I became the inferno. I let it take me over.” He remembered burning his body away. “I remade myself in the flames. There was no other course but to let it overwhelm me.”

  “You are the love, regret, and guilt? The fire that burned inside became your body?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then you are not the one who put me away, Lucifer. You are the fire that fought inside.”

  “But my hands did—”

  “No.” She turned and sat before him. He raised his red-rimmed eyes, but he could only meet her lips. He trembled. Dahlia reached out slowly with a shaking hand. She took one of his hands and held it between the two of hers. “He was your hands.” She took a deep breath and pressed her palm to his chest. He felt her heat through the touch. Dahlia poured her strength into him. “He was your flesh. You were one in being with Him, but your heart and soul were your own.” She touched his che
ek and raised his face to hers. “It is not your fault.”

  “I should have tried. That I did not is unforgivable.”

  “You did try. The fact that you felt revulsion, that it brought you pain, shows that the fight was occurring inside you.”

  “Dahlia—”

  She kissed his palm, stopping his words. He froze and watched her lips. Dahlia breathed in and out through her nose, her breath hot on his skin. She closed her eyes. She kissed his wrist and worked up his forearm. Each caress set fire to his cold skin, unlocking the muscles that were bound and frozen. She reached where his shirt started and moved to his bare neck. When her lips reached his skin, he gasped. “Dahlia—”

  She covered his mouth with her own. Lucifer lost thought. Flowers bloomed around them. She placed both hands over his heart and slowly pulled back, the act itself hard. “I could only love one heart, and what beats in you now, beat in you then. You are my Morningstar.”

  He looked into her eyes and wrapped his arms around her. He brought her close and kissed her hair. “Always.” He closed his eyes. “How can you…”

  “Forgive?”

  “Yes.”

  Dahlia kissed his cheek. “You did not know what you were doing, and your hand was forced.”

  “That does not excuse me.”

  She looked into his eyes. “You were innocent, Lucifer, and punished just as much as I was.”

  “No.”

  She placed her fingers on his lips. “Yes.”

  “You must not forgive me.”

  “That I have already done. I forgave you at the throne and never once has my decision wavered. You must forgive yourself.”

  Tears formed in his eyes. “I cannot.” He shook his head. “Dahlia, I can never do that.”

  “You were placed in a prison as poisonous as mine, as painful as mine. You must see that.”

  “Rightly and justly so. I deserve this, I am bound.”

  Dahlia brought his head down to her chest. “No, Lucifer, you are free. The door is open, it has always been open, but you must let yourself out. No one can force you, you must decide.” She brought her lips to his ear. “Come with me.”

  He gnashed his teeth. “I—”