It’s harder than I thought it would be, being inside this police station. Although my previous statements were taken in the hospital, the atmosphere here is a stark reminder of what happened. But I get through it, grateful that the woman interviewing me has a kind voice and soft eyes that seem to smile even when her mouth is a straight line.
‘We’ll be looking into this immediately,’ she assures me. ‘I can’t make you any promises – with no evidence of anything, and no bruising on you this time, it will be very difficult to prove anything, even if you could identify the man. We’ll check CCTV around that area, but it sounds like he planned this carefully so I’m expecting him to have avoided all cameras.’
‘I’m sure he was Johnny’s cousin,’ I say. ‘There was too much of a resemblance for them to not be related.’
‘But you do understand that we can’t just start accusing all his family members of threatening you, can we? We can see if any of them are known to us but then how many cousins does your attacker even have?’
I admit that I don’t know, but it’s likely there are several as he comes from a big family. Although I never met any of them, I know he has three sisters and Liv was always going on about how large his extended family is. Nobody ever fucks with them, Josie, just you remember that.
The police officer is right: this is hopeless. Coming here is beginning to feel like a mistake. ‘It will be bad enough that I haven’t withdrawn my statement about Johnny,’ I tell her, ‘but when this man finds out I came to the police about him too, surely that will make things worse? There’s no way he was bluffing about carrying out his threat.’
‘Believe me, you’ve done exactly the right thing. Now, just be careful. No going out alone at night, just be sensible. And call us if anything else happens. But don’t leave it so long next time.’
‘I don’t have a choice but to just be careful, do I? It’s not as if you can offer me protection.’
She shakes her head. ‘Sadly, no. But here’s my card. Call me any time.’
Taking the card, I thank her and leave, grateful to be heading back outside, even though it scares me that nothing has been resolved. There is nothing to protect me and, as usual, the only person I can rely on is myself.
It’s cold out here, although the sun is so bright I have to squint to find Zach’s car. But it’s not in the same place I remember him parking, the only one that was free, by the entrance. Instead, there is a silver Golf parked there, the driver sitting inside, talking on his phone.
Puzzled, I shade my eyes and scan the car park, but there is no sign of Zach’s car. Wondering if he had to move it or leave to get something, I text him.
Finished now. Just wondering where you are?
After another scan of the car park, I sit on the police station steps and wait for a reply. But almost half an hour later I still haven’t heard from Zach.
* * *
‘We need to talk.’ Alison’s voice is firmer than I’ve ever heard it, as if she’s been practising, waiting for me to get home so she can try out what she’s rehearsed.
‘Can it wait? I’ve just done a shift at work and I’m knackered. I need to get something to eat and I’m really not in the mood for an argument.’ But more than that, I’m confused that I still haven’t heard back from Zach. Perhaps I typed in his number incorrectly when he gave it to me, but that doesn’t explain why he disappeared.
Why would he leave without a word? Especially when he knew I didn’t want to report that man in the first place. But I won’t text him again. He will contact me if he really wants to. And it’s been hours now, so if there had been an emergency I’m sure he could have found a way to let me know.
‘No, it can’t,’ Alison says. ‘Don’t you think it’s waited long enough?’ Her words are tough but her voice is less confident now. Her arms are folded across her body and I notice she’s already wearing her pyjamas, even though it’s barely 8 p.m.
‘I don’t even know what you’re talking about, but if this is about Aaron then I’ve said my piece. I told you what happened and if you don’t believe me there’s nothing I can do about that.’ I walk towards the fridge but don’t bother opening it. Not when Alison is right there, watching everything I do.
She takes a step back so she’s almost leaning against the kitchen door. ‘I know girls like you, Josie. I’ve met plenty of you. You think you’ve got it made, don’t you? That the world owes you and you can have anything you want.’ She snorts. ‘You think that you can use men to get your own way, but that doesn’t work with women, Josie. Unfortunately for you.’
Even more than her freaky words, it’s creeping me out the way she keeps saying my name. Every sentence she speaks blurs into the next because she couldn’t have got me more wrong. I am not the person she’s describing. ‘What are you talking about? I’m really not in the mood for this.’
‘Sooner or later it will all catch up with you, Josie.’
‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Alison, I don’t have to listen to this! Look, if you hate me so much then why don’t you just move out? That will be the best thing for both of us.’
‘Don’t you think I’ve tried? That I’d be out of here in a second if I could? But there’s nowhere else at the moment and I’m not uprooting myself in the middle of term. Anyway, why should you get your own way? You’d love for me to move out so that I’m out of your hair – I’m just the annoying weird girl you can’t relate to. Well, tough! I’m not going anywhere for now.’
I could mention my deleted assignment now, tell her I know it was her, but I won’t give her the satisfaction. Much better to let her think she deleted something that wasn’t important. That I still haven’t even noticed.
‘Good for you,’ I say. ‘Now can I have some dinner in peace?’
‘You want peace, Josie? Good luck with that!’ She storms out, slamming the kitchen door behind her.
Deciding I’m not going to let Alison make me feel even worse, I focus on the hunger pangs I need to stifle. But when I open the fridge to check what’s in there, already knowing all the food will be Alison’s, I’m shocked to find it completely bare. Nothing but a yellowing milk stain in the door compartment where the bottles are usually kept.
Even though I already know what I’ll find, I check all the cupboards, just to be sure, and it’s the same story. Completely empty other than a few mugs and plates, all of them chipped.
I let out a howl of laughter – because this is the best Alison can do. I’ve been beaten half to death, threatened with worse, and she thinks getting rid of all the food in the house can even bother me?
My hysterical shrieks echo around the flat, and I can only imagine what she is doing now, holed up in her bedroom, wondering why I’m not reacting the way she expected me to.
And when I finally calm down, the realisation dawns on me that this situation is actually not funny at all.
Alison Cummings clearly has issues, and I’m stuck here living in this place with her.
Chapter Fifteen
Mia
* * *
How different it is this time, to be sitting across from this woman. This time I am ready for whatever Alison will throw at me. I am armed with the ammunition Dominic provided me with – even though I still don’t know who to believe, at least it’s something to fall back on, if necessary.
I’m still Alison’s counsellor so I need to tread carefully, and if she does need my help then I will be there for her.
‘I can only imagine what you must think of me,’ she says, staring at her hands. Her fingers are long and thin, spindly veins showing through the skin. But today she’s not dressed as if she’s in mourning, although I notice her dark purple shirt clashes with her hair.
‘I’m not here to judge you, Alison. I just want to help you, that’s all.’ I can’t tell her that Dominic came to see me – it would undoubtedly freak her out – so I have to let her do this at her own pace. Hopefully, she will admit to me that she’s been lying about everything, and that
this has got nothing to do with Zach after all.
Her eyes narrow. ‘And this is all confidential? Even after… last time?’
I nod. ‘Nobody outside these walls will ever know what we’ve spoken about. Unless, of course, I feel you may be a threat to yourself or others. Then I will have no choice but to inform the police.’
She stares at me, unblinking. ‘I’m the last person who’s a threat to anyone, believe me.’
It’s hard to imagine, but just because she is small and frail-looking, it doesn’t mean she isn’t capable of harming anyone. People are never what they seem. I know that better than most. ‘So you asked for this appointment, Alison. Can you tell me why you wanted to see me again?’
She picks up the cup of water I’ve poured for her but puts it down again untouched, clearing her throat as if she’s about to deliver a carefully rehearsed speech. ‘Last time I came here I was fully intending to tell you everything. It wasn’t a game or some sick joke, I would never do that to anyone. But once I started talking, I got… scared. Actually, terrified. I thought it would be a relief to come to you with it but it made me feel worse. Talking to you about your husband, it was suddenly too hard. But I couldn’t take the words back.’
So, as I feared, she is here to talk about Zach, not to seek my help for her issues, something I could do much more easily. She’s not going to let this go, so maybe Dominic was right: she’s clearly disturbed and needs help. But what if she’s telling the truth? I need to know, even if it means letting her gouge out my wounds so I feel the pain all over again, ten times worse. She looks questioningly at me and I nod for her to continue.
‘The thing is, I need your help, and I think I can help you too. I know that sounds strange but you’ll understand when you know everything.’
‘What is it I need to know, Alison? Can you tell me now?’ Or will you just run away again? Jump up and sprint to the door before I can even blink.
She takes a deep breath and her bony shoulders rise and fall. ‘Can you promise me you’ll just let me talk without interrupting? That you’ll hear everything I’ve got to say before you make up your mind?’
‘That’s what I’m here for, Alison.’
‘Okay. What I said to you last time is true: I don’t think your husband killed himself.’ She stares at me now, waiting for a reaction, even though seconds ago she asked me to just let her speak. ‘You need to see this and then you’ll understand.’ She reaches into her bag and I shift backwards, unsure what she’s about to draw out of it.
But it’s only her mobile phone. She taps away at it and turns it towards me as a video starts to play. To start with I’m not sure what I’m looking at but then I realise it’s someone’s computer screen, and the name on the log-in box is Dominic Bradford’s. Then Alison’s slender hand appears, tapping keyboard buttons and jiggling the mouse until she’s brought up a photo library.
I stare at the photos – there are hundreds of them – sickened by the thought of what I might see. On the video she scrolls through them. Unknown faces smiling and posing. Places I’ve never been. And then a bright young face I know only too well appears, and Alison pauses the video.
Josie Carpenter.
The girl people think Zach murdered.
Her face is too close to the camera, a mocking smile spread across it. Alison pauses the video.
I don’t understand. ‘What… what is this, Alison?’
‘This is Dominic’s computer. It’s usually password protected and he never leaves it on, but a few weeks ago I found he hadn’t turned it off when he went out. So I looked through it. And when I found this photo I started filming the whole computer. Just so I could prove this photo was on it.’
‘But—’
‘You recognise her, don’t you? Just like I did. But there’s no reason why Dominic should have a picture of her on his computer. But there it is, and it must have been downloaded from his phone. He didn’t even know her. At least, he’s never admitted that he did. Clearly they knew each other, though.’
A cloud of fog swirls around my head as I try to make sense of what I’m seeing and hearing. But seconds tick by and nothing becomes clearer.
Impatient for my response, Alison continues, ‘Mia, you have to help me. I think Dominic might have had something to do with Josie’s murder.’
I’m stunned into silence by her words. The police could never determine what happened to Josie Carpenter. There was enough of her blood in her flat for them to suspect she’d been killed, but in the absence of a body, nothing could be proved. Their thinking was that whoever did it – Zach, in their eyes – probably killed her somewhere else, a place they could easily dump her body. And even now, five years later, they still haven’t found it. They’re probably no longer even looking, especially as their main suspect is dead.
I try to control my breathing. ‘But… I don’t understand what you’re telling me, Alison. So he’s got a photo of her – that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.’
She holds the phone out again. ‘But it might if it was taken on the same day it happened. Look, keep watching.’
And sure enough, the next part of the video shows the date that’s etched in my memory. The day my husband was taken from me. From my daughter.
The familiar panic rises in my body but I need to control it, stifle it until I can be alone and let it temporarily take over. I’ve learned that’s the only way to deal with these attacks.
‘Do you see?’ Alison says.
I nod but I can’t speak.
‘Mia, I’m so scared. After everything Dominic’s done to me, and now I’ve found this.’
Dominic’s words swim around my head. Is Alison so disturbed that she’d concoct this story, even the evidence? But the computer is clearly Dominic’s, and the picture was added on the day Zach died. I don’t think she could have planted it on there, but I’m no technical expert.
None of this makes sense. Dominic gave no impression that Alison was fabricating stories about him in any way, and surely he would have mentioned that when he was telling me the things she had done. It’s one thing to accuse your partner of abuse, but quite another to claim they may have killed someone.
‘So do you understand now?’ Alison says, snapping me back to the present. ‘Why I said I don’t think Zach killed himself?’ She’s using his name as if she knows him and it turns me cold.
‘No, actually, I don’t. Yes, it seems there’s a picture of Josie Carpenter on Dominic’s computer, but what’s that got to do with Zach’s death?’
Alison moves her phone back. ‘Okay, I know what you mean. This doesn’t exactly prove anything, but don’t you think it’s strange that he has a photo of the girl your husband is thought to have killed? Taken on the day she disappeared?’
‘Yes, I admit there’s no easy explanation.’
‘Think about it, Mia. Dominic has never told the police that he knew Josie, and they definitely questioned all the staff at the uni. Why would he keep that from them?’
She’s right, there doesn’t seem to be an obvious explanation. But I tell her I still don’t see how this proves Zach didn’t kill himself.
‘That’s why I need your help, Mia. I really think Dominic is responsible for whatever happened to Josie. And to Zach.’
Silence, heavy and claustrophobic, fills the room, swirling around me as I take in this huge bombshell Alison’s just dropped. I need to clarify exactly what she is telling me. ‘You think Dominic killed Josie? And then – what? Killed Zach too?’
There are tears in her eyes and she shakes her head. ‘I don’t know, Mia. I… I think he might have. I know how it sounds. Like some film or something, but… but I really think this is what happened, Mia.’
I stand up, unable to bear my body being still, and pace the room. ‘But why? Why would Dominic do that? This is crazy.’
Alison remains in her chair but swivels round to face me. ‘I only know a couple of things for sure, Mia. My partner is a violent man. And if he can hur
t me like he does, then what else is he capable of?’
‘If he’s a violent man,’ I say. I don’t mean these words to come from my mouth but it’s too late now.
She stares at me with huge wide eyes. ‘What do you mean by that?’
I can’t tell her Dominic came to see me or that I have doubts about her honesty, but this issue needs to be addressed.
‘You don’t believe me, do you? Anything I’ve said?’ She grabs her phone from the desk and begins searching for something on it. How is this the same timid woman who walked into my office moments ago? ‘Here, look at this.’
This time the pictures I’m looking at are all self-taken photos of Alison, battered and bruised, her skin a grotesque rainbow of black, purple and red. In one of them her eyes are so inflated they can barely open.
She decides I’ve seen enough and pulls her phone away. ‘Now tell me this: do you still think I’m lying?’
I shake my head. ‘Why haven’t you gone to the police? You’ve got clear evidence here that he’s abusing you.’
‘I’m sure I told you this last time – there’s no point reporting him. He’ll come after me. He’ll find me, and then what? I’ll just end up like Josie.’
‘Then why did you come here, Alison? What help can I possibly give you?’
‘I’m here because I need to find proof that Dominic is responsible for killing at least two people: Josie Carpenter and probably your husband. So this involves you too, doesn’t it? I thought you would want to know the truth.’
My legs buckle beneath me and it’s a struggle to remain upright. Seconds tick by before I can compose my thoughts. She’s right, of course: I need to know the truth. ‘Okay,’ I say, ‘even if Dominic did harm that girl, that doesn’t mean he had anything to do with Zach’s death, does it?’
Alison stands now and walks across to me. ‘Mia, do you really believe your husband would take his own life?’
‘He was desperate,’ I say. ‘He… whatever happened with Josie, he couldn’t deal with it. So he…’ I struggle to say the words. ‘Her blood was everywhere and he was dead in her flat.’
Silent Lies: A gripping psychological thriller Page 13